The fall season finale was beautifully done - finally a true Jay centric story. The follow story I've been writing since October in collaboration with taylorandmacster10 on here. Our love for whumping Jay turned into this.
This is my first Chicago P.D multi chapter. There's Upstead if you squint, but this is very similar to last nights episodem but with a different twist. I like to keep as true to the characters on the shows as possible, so if you think somethings amiss, please tell me.
Any feed back is appreciated...
This is not beta read so all mistakes are my own. I don't own Chicago PD.
Most of them got out of their last case unscathed, except for Jay, Voight and Kim - bruises and cuts plagued Jay's face, arms and hands. He had tackled one of the offenders through a window and then proceeded to have a dirty throw down. Burgess had intervined and got an elbow to the cheek and somehow in the shuffle got her wrist sprained. Voight, well, his injuries were somewhat self inflicted after he had a "talk" with the perp in interrogation. The case was pretty straight forward. Bad guy kidnaps opposing bad guy's sister for money. Intelligence takes both bad guys down.
"Did good work today, all." Voight said as he neared his office, holding the paper work for the case in his hands. Shifting his weight, he looked over at Jay, "Halstead. Take the weekend."
"Sarge, I'm good, really. I'm fine."
Voight had that tiny smirk on his lips, "I wasn't giving you a choice. The rest of you, have a good night. But not to good, you'll be on call." he gave a casual salute with the papers in his hand and went into his office.
After a beat, Atwater blew out a sigh, "Whew. There's a drink at Molly's with my name on it. Anyone in?"
"So in." groaned Adam, already starting to walk toward the stairs, Kevin following.
Kim frowned, "I have some paperwork to catch up on from last week."
Hailey hesitated. She watched Jay closely. He hadn't said too much and seemed a bit disconnected.
"Do it in the morning!" Adam half whined to Kim, who smiled and stood up, nodding. "Yes!" and the three left, leaving Hailey with Jay.
"You awake over there?" she asked softly from her desk. Jay blinked a few times, exhaling softly and nodded, "Yeah. m'good. Just a long week."
"I hear ya. You up for a drink? Maybe some company?" she asked, standing up and walking over to him. He looked up at her and chuckled softly, "Honestly, I think I'm gonna just crash. But thanks."
Gently squeezing his shoulder she headed out too, probably going to meet the others at Molly's.
Jay found that once he actually got to his apartment, that dead tired feeling seemed obliterated. He didn't feel like socializing but maybe a jog - to clear his mind.
It was a good idea. It was rare that he got some time to just enjoy this city - like really enjoy it. After, he ate at this hole in the wall sushi place (they had the best crunchy tuna rolls) and then grabbed a latte from a mom and pop cafe around the corner. Pop,pop,pop!
Instinctively, Jay ducked his head for cover, looking for the source of the gunfire. He looked around and was confused a minute. No one else ducked or reacted at all. Brow furrowed, he moved closer to a small crowd of people gathered around the corner. Pop,pop,pop!
Flinching with each noise, he watched as kids set off fire crackers in the empty street. Feeling rattled and embarrassed, Jay released the grip on his side arm. Retracing his steps, still a bit on edge and now pretty bummed about his lost latte all over the side walk, he headed back to his apartment.
Even from his apartment he could still hear the pops and cracks from the party a few blocks away. He had turned on the TV to the movie Bad Boys - anything with Will Smith was a small comfort. Anything to block out that noise. When that didn't work, when a shower didn't work and when a few shots of whiskey only made him feel buzzed, Jay decided to pull out his phone. Scrolling through his contacts, he paused on Will. He knew his brother would be there within 20 minutes - but he wasn't sure he wanted that many questions (what triggered it? what happened? when was the last time? is this cause of the case?). Jay kept scrolling through his contacts. Chewing the inside of his cheek, he began to pace, his heart beginning to beat harder.
Molly's was only a short drive away, but the way his hands were already shaking so getting there would be difficult. He made his descision.
"Hey,sorry to intterupt the fun but can you come by?" he hated how much his voice shook and no amount of bravado was going to hide the impending panic. Getting the answer he wanted and feeling some deep rooted shame about asking for help and tearing someone away from their own rest, Jay leaned against his counter. He pocketed his phone, involuntarily wincing as he heard more fire crackers from the outside. His chest was feeling tighter. There was the veterans support group too but that was a good hour away. He lingered on Mouse's name and the longer he stared the more he felt himself losing control - the memories were beginning to weave their way in; the walls seemed to be closing in on him and the lingering fire crackers sounding deafening...
Hailey stood beside Will Halstead as he fumbled a bit with the keys to his brothers apartment, dropping them. "Damnit!" he hissed and bent down to grab them again, this time finding their mark and they both glided in quickly in to the room. Hailey almost made it to the living room/kitchen set up when Will stopped her. "Hailey, wait. Let me go in first, ..uh, he can get - he's punched me and Mouse before. "
"Will, I can handle it.."
"Just, please. Let me go first, stand behind me." Will pleaded slightly and only moved when Hailey gave him a pursed lipped nod. She watched him from a distance as he slowly uproached his older brother, his voice clear and steady; "Jay. It's Will."
Jay was seemingly catatonic, cheeks wet from tears, slumped back against the kitchen cabinets. The freckles all over this face standing out against the pale skin beneath. Hailey knew to watch Will's actions and to remember them.
"Jay, it's Will. It's your brother. Come back, okay? You're home in Chicago. " Will's voice was still clear and steady, even though his hands were trembling. "Jay. It's Will. It's your brother," he repeated for the third time, " You're home in Chicago. .."
Hailey found herself holding her breath and exhaled slowly, her heart beating quickly. Jay blinked a few times as if he was getting something out of his eyes and slowly looked up at the other two. This is when Will crouches down with a ghost of a smile, "Jay. It's Will. Hailey's here too." his voice was steady but softer. "You're back home in Chicago.."
"...the kids were shooting-" Jay slurred, speach affected by the state his body was in. Hailey went ahead and sat down on the floor next to Will,looking into Jay's face, trying to read between the lines, "The kids were shooting? Were they shooting guns?"
Her question was answered quickly, when she heard again in the distance the fire crackers being set off causing Jay to flinch and bring a leg up to rest his elbow on, face resting against his hand. It was clear that he was struggling to stay present - his eyes shut tightly.
"Maybe we should get him out of here?" Hailey asked Will quietly enough so he only heard. Will sighed, biting his lip. "If we leave right now, he will associate this place - his own apartment as unsafe. I hate it, but we just gotta wait it out. "
Hailey frowned and flinched in sympathy as a loud firecracker went off in the distance. Jay uttered a mix between a growl and gasp. That was the final straw for Hailey, who stood. Will looked up at her and his brows furrowed, "What are you doing?"
"My job." she answered and headed out the door of the apartment and practically jogged toward the folks who shooting off the rockets and firecrackers.
After little to no resistance from the partier's, Hailey made her way back up to Jay's apartment only to find Jay gone and Will leaning onto the kitchen counter.
"How'd they take it?" He mumbled as she leaned next to him, crossing her arms. "Told'em that it was a sound violation and I'd ban them from ever using fireworks again." Hailey said with the smallest of smiles. Will returned the smile, "Thank you for that. I finally got Jay to lay down. Hopefully he can sleep."
"I knew he struggled with PTSD - a few months ago during an UC case he went in deep and had a gun on me. I was scared, but more scared for him. Has he gotten help before?"
Will laughed bitterly, "Kind of. He found help with booze and fights. Lots of fights. Mouse was there for him as much as Jay was there for Mouse. The Valley really.." he blew out a breath, looking at Hailey, "Sudan was a cakewalk compared to what those two went through. I went because I had seen how proud my Dad was of Jay for going into the Army."
"How long were you there?" Hailey asked quietly.
Will looked sad for a minute, "...17 days. I was helping in a hospital - helping Sudanese children. So many of them. I- I just couldn't stay. So I left. Went to New York ..." he trailed off, shoulders lowered, " I haven't been around as much as I should have been."
Hailey turned slightly, "You're here now, Will. That's whats important."
A comfortable silence fell as the two stood there, glad the fireworks had stopped. They both jumped sometime later when Will's pager buzzed across the counter. Quad ped vs vehic - need asap.
"You need to get going?"
"...Yeah. I don't wan-"
"Will, it's okay. I'll be here. Go." Hailey said, resting a hand on his upper arm. Will looked at her and sighed, hugging her as a thank you. "Call me immediately if -" his pager went off again.
"Will. Go." Hailey said a bit more pushingly,gently guiding the doctor from the apartment. "I'll call you if something happens."
She waved and watched Will half jog down the hall and out of view before shutting the door. Leaning back against the faux wood, she sighed heavily, tired from the rush of adrenaline and the entire week really.
Peaking inside Jay's room, she watched him twitch and kick - his episode still not quite over. Her heart ached for him, watching as he tossed and turned,mumbling incoherently. Hailey sat under the window next to the bed, definitely unable to get any rest herself (it was already well passed midnight). Or so she thought. Next thing she knew was a hand on her shoulder and she jumped awake.
"Whoa, sorry...hey." it was Will's voice. She blinked rapidly and looked at her phone that was on the floor - 5:28am. "Where's Jay?"
Will's brows furrowed, "I was about to ask you that."
"Has he ever taken off like this?"
"Not that I know of. "
"Could he have gone for a run?"
"Maybe. He does run alot to clear his head..."
Hailey paused. Of course the first thing she wanted to do was call Voight. He would want to know. "Not yet. Let's try and find him first."
Once out on the streets, Hailey sent Will to look for Jay in his usual haunts - cafes, bars, shops, etc. While she traveled his known running route. She only knew this because they had gone running a few times together earlier in the year.
Will met up with her an hour later,looking worried and defeated - almost on the verge of panic. They had each tried to call Jay multiple times with no success.
Hailey brought her phone up to her ear, "Voight, it's Hailey. Uh, we have a problem."
Hank Voight stood infront of his team and sighed heavily, the stress and urgency gripping the group.
"It's been 8 confirmed hours since Jay went missing. Could be more. Last night, talk to me Upton."
Hailey was pale and visibly shaken,her arms crossed. "He seemed off last night but then was later triggered by some kids lighting up firecrackers."
"He has a history of PTSD..." Voight turned toward Will, who had followed Hailey to the station. Will blew out a breath, "Yeah. It hasn't been this bad in a long time. "
"Is he a danger to others?" Voight asked, a obvious hesitation behind the question. When Will hesitated too, Voight nodded.
"Boss, you really think Halstead would hurt someone?" Ruzek asked quietly, frowning. He, like his other team mates were having a hard time wrapping their head around the information.
Before the question was answered, Platt practically jogged up the stairs and handed Voight a file. "If there's anything else I can do - Anything - you'll let me know."
"Put boots on the ground, only looking for Halstead. As many as you can spare me."
With a nod to Platt, Voight watched her leave. "I have his file. His military file. It's mostly redacted, but Atwater, Ruzek, read this. Make sense of it. Memorize it. " he handed Adam the file, who took it slowly.
"Is it possible he was taken?" Kim asked softly, not liking the thought of it. She was sat by Kevin, slumped and looked worried.
"Anything is possible. Will, how available are you?" Voight asked the other Halstead. Will rubbed the back of his neck, "I called and told them whats going on. I'm good."
"Okay. Hailey, Will. Get some rest, shower. Caffeinate. I need you guys sharp. The rest of you, work your CIs, canvas the last known areas Jay might have gone or hangs out.-"
"Boss, there's a Veterans Outreach center he goes to. Kim and I can -" Hailey started but Voight cut in, - "You need rest. I can't be worried about two of my guys. It's not optional." he added when Hailey began to protest.
10 hours and 24 minutes missing
"Thanks for meeting with us, Dr. Charles. I know you're busy, so I appreciate you taking the time." Voight said, gesturing to his friend to have a seat across from him in the office. Will and Hailey joined them.
"Of course. I took the liberty of looking through Jay's file before coming. I have to say, given his history of mental health, I don't think he is a threat. That being said, if he regresses further into his trauma, there is no telling how he'll react to further triggers. Each case of PTSD is different. Some react by receeding from social activities, some are able to recover quickly. " Dr. Charles said, his tone gentle but professional.
"He's not a threat to others. But is he a threat to himself?" Will asked through gritted teeth, he was having a hard time staying cool headed and objective. He was using every skill he had as a doctor to tamper his panic.
"His file only says so much. Has he ever hurt himself that you are aware of?" Charles asked, turning to Will, who shook his head. "Then I think it's fair to assume that he won't. But that's airing on the side of reasonable doubt. We have no idea what Jay is re-experiencing. Re-living, essentially. I read his military file - It was hard to read, seeing as most seemed classifed."
"Adam is working on that angle. " Voight side, leaning forward onto his desk. "Where would he go?"
"The veterans outreach center?" offered Hailey, looking from Voight to Will and .
"Unless he met someone who had experienced something similar to him and he befriended, it's a slim chance he'd find refuge there." Charles said,raising a shoulder in a small shrug.
"He isn't anywhere he would usually be. We've even checked out some of his CIs houses, safe houses. We basically turned Chicago upside down." Hailey said with a tone of desparity, her shoulders tensed. There was uneasy silence in the office, the feeling of helplessness palpable.
"Would he leave the state?" asked the doctor, looking at the other three. Will's brow furrowed, mirroring Voight's reaction to the question.
"Is there anyone outside of the state who would make him feel safe?" Dr. Charles asked, "If that's a probability, I would call that person and let them know. "
"There's only 2 people out of state who he would feel safe with. One is across the ocean and one is in New York City. " Voight replied, adjusting in his seat, already pulling out his cell phone. Dr. Charles raised his brows, "It's a good chance he would seek refuge there. But the amount of time spent in and amongst people ...I think the overstimulation may send him into another episode. "
"It's worth a phone call. Daniel, thank you for coming. You've been a big help." Voight stood, extending his hand out as the doctor shook it, also standing.
"You let me know if I can help any more. I'll keep my ears open. Please call if he turns up. Hailey, Will. " Dr. Charles acknowledged the other two in the room before exiting the office.
"What can I be doing to help? I need to do something.." Will said to the two officers after a minute. Voight paused in thought a moment before pointing to Will, "You have access to almost every hospital right? Work with Burgess and see if Jay's been admitted to any facilities from here to , military..."
It finally struck Will that his brother was out there,scared and lone...maybe injured. Hailey noticed the subtle change in his demeanor and touched his upper arm, "Will. He'll be okay. We'll find him." she lead him out the door and left Voight to make a call, shutting the door behind them.
Voight waited a minute before hitting speed dial number, exhaling slowly, waiting. Finally an answer. "Erin? It's Jay...he's missing."
/end chapter 1
I wasn't planning on bringing Erin fully into the next chapter or the story, UNLESS you all wanted that. So please, review.