Day one of isolation on Tracy Island: Brains forced us all through a decontamination shower, Grandma made us bathe in dettol and Alan finally smells nice. From now on all rescues will be performed in full protective, radiation proof uniforms and helmets with breathing apparatus used. John is just glad he hasn't been on earth long enough to be scrubbed.
Now we are free to move around and supplies are still plentiful (Grandma always stocks up 6 months in advance anyway). Although she has fallen foul to the great toilet roll hoarding and has put an extra code lock in the store room, growling like a dragon when anyone suggests that she might be going a little too far. Again, John is glad he has his own supplies (I'm beginning to think that Space Hubby is actually the most sensible person in the world).
Jeff has yet to lay down the law over what he's calling "This whole funny business" but it's only a matter of time... I shall check in with you all tomorrow, until then, keep safe and keep sane, we do not want to have to come out and rescue you from something stupid, we will just laugh.
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Day Two
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Day Two of isolation on Tracy Island and apparently I am a bad influence. According to Grandma, just because everyone is saying that this is second Christmas doesn't mean I can get up and straight away start eating chocolate, especially if that involves sitting on the couch with Gordon and Alan and a family sized bag of minstrels. Personally I think she wanted them for herself.
We all scrambled and started retrieving her mothers day gifts from various places hidden around the villa (now we know why V's piano had that one bum note) and now she's forgiven us.
She would like us to remind you all that just because we are on lock down doesn't mean that we should forget how special our Mums are, especially those of young children who are trying to stay sane.
We appreciate you, and we love you all, you are amazing.
Happy Mothers day from Tracy Island.
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Day Three
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Day three of isolation on Tracy Island and Jeff is fed up with us all wearing Pyjamas.
I'm going blind from the loud patterns and I just watched Scott slide off a leather chair because his are silk.
John gave me that look that says "see, mines not looking so bad now, is it?"
Send wine!
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Day Four
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Day Four of isolation on Tracy Island... And apparently I am the only one in the house capable of making a sandwich.
The boys have regressed from capable men to idiots that cannot fend for themselves and have resorted to scavenging and thievery.
The second you put anything food related down and take your eyes off it you will never see it again. Virgil stole my coffee, Alan just nabbed my toast right off my plate and I'm pretty sure that it was Scott who ate my pringles.
I am now suspecting everyone of some dastardly underhand scheming and have been issuing warning glares, but to no avail.
Send pizza!
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Day Five
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Day Five of Isolation on Tracy Island.
Scott and Virgil decided that this was the perfect time to teach me to play snooker... And they won't do that again in a hurry. I'm very sure Gordon didn't need that eye, he has two, wanting to keep both is just greedy.
John did absolutely nothing to help apart from muttering something along the lines of me being dangerous with balls, I wasn't really listening.
Alan used the distraction to steal the entire bowl of peanuts.
Send an eye patch!
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Day 6
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Day 6 of isolation on Tracy Island and Jeff has offered to relieve John in the space station. I'm not sure who was more shocked, John at the thought of being home with us crazy bunch or Jeff that he hadn't thought of it before.
Alan and Gordon invented something they named "dodge swim" and it involves everyone standing around the pool and firing balls and other missiles at whomever is trying to swim a length of the pool.
Currently floating abandoned in the pool we have :
-6 Tennis balls
-2 Hairbrushes
-a whisk
-a beach towel that Virgil used to whip Scott with
- an inflatable palm tree
- a model of Thunderbird Four
- my watering can
-13 clothes pegs
-3 beach balls
-one volleyball
-two basket balls
-a picnic basket
-a mixing bowl
- a wooden spoon
- 2 apples
-1 banana
- 1 watermelon lounging at the bottom
- a pool cleaning pole
-Scott's swimming trunks
-Gordon
Send hairdryers!
Chapter Management
Day 7
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Day 7 of isolation on Tracy Island and the boys have eaten all of my cookies already. They were pretty good about it, there was only one argument when John ate one of the TB3's and Alan yelled, but in space hubby's defence, there was only one 5 that made it out of the oven and I ate that one as it was squashed, missing antenna and looked more like a trodden on spider and I didn't think he'd want it. In retaliation Alan ate the last bagel in the cupboard... Now I have to try to figure out how to bake bagels... Pray for me.
Grandma tried to help with the cookie baking, but her input was to turn the oven temperature to maximum, to drop a bag of flour on the floor and to chase Scott with the rolling pin when he tried to sneak one before they were cooled. She is also taking full credit for the ones that came out OK. I'm not brave enough to argue with her and I'm just letting her have the glory.
I found out today that Jeff has a secret whisky stash that he keeps hidden behind some books in the lounge, apparently this stash has gained an almost mythical status and everyone has been looking for it for days, I found it by accident because I walked in when Jeff was replacing "Rocket Science for Dummies" on the shelf. I have been sworn to secrecy... Oops. You won't tell anyone will you?
For once, Gordon is being the sensible one, which honestly has me a little worried, I'm pretty sure he's plotting something. Virgil is the best boy and helping me clean up the kitchen.
Send bagels!
Day 8
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Day 8 of isolation on Tracy Island
Being on lockdown gives you many opportunities, one of them being the time to binge watch and that you can introduce Americans to the joys of British TV. Which I am now doing.
This led to a rather embarrassing incident for Gordon and a rather traumatic one for Virgil.
Picture the scene…Virgil who is innocently minding his own business, walks into the bathroom and bursts in on Gordon. Ordinarily this wouldn't be too traumatic, when you have that many people in a house the odd walk in happens, mostly they are adults about it and just apologise and back out. But not this time.
Because Gordon was in a bath overflowing with bubbles, his tablet balanced on the side watching Netflix. He had one of Grandma's fancy floating candle bowls -also filled with bubbles- in one hand and his razor in the other, which he was using to vigorously stir his mixture while doing a very bad impression of Paul Hollywood.
Gordon was so engrossed in his monologue of how to mix the perfect buttercream that he had failed to notice his brother. Virgil had two choices, back out quietly and leave him to his play, or he could take out his phone and record it for prosperity.
We heard maniacal laughter coming from down the hall, an enraged bellow, followed by a splashing noise, loud cursing that is too rude to repeat here, more splashing then the sound of running feet.
Virgil raced past us, tossed his phone at Scott, who like a true champion big brother, asked no questions, just caught the phone and took off running. A soaking wet, partially wrapped in a towel, Gordon slid into the lounge, skidded on the floor and fell face first into the seating area.
Jeff ignored it all with the skill only a parent of five can master, not getting involved with the ruckus, while we screamed with laughter or just at the sight of someone's naked behind.
And that's the story of how Gordon needs a new tablet (it fell in the bath), and why he is no longer talking to Virgil or Scott. It's actually kinda peaceful for once, I might go for a walk around the island with John.
Send a new tablet!
Chapter Management
Day 9
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Day 9 of isolation on Tracy Island.
We've had a quiet day today, the reality of the fact that we're all stuck here except for emergencies is finally hitting home. The authorities trust us in the fact that they know we'll do everything we can to ensure that proper measures are taken to prevent the spread of this virus, but many politely requested that we don't respond to calls in their country.
This has hit the boys and Jeff very hard, they aren't used to being sidelined or unable to respond to people that are in need of help. The only positive seems to be that with everyone isolated in their houses it means that there are less people getting into trouble, which has reduced our calls to almost nothing so there are less to turn down.
Everyone has kinda drifted off into their own hobbies, Jeff has paperwork to catch up on, Alan is online playing a game, Gordon is binge watching his favourite show, John's taken the elevator back up to the office for a few hours, Virgil has wandered off with his sketch pad and that's left me with Scott, who either took pity on me or was just so fed up with me whining that I was bored and unsupervised.
That boy has way too much faith in my ability to listen and follow instructions. He decided in his infinite wisdom that he would enlist my help in doing some maintenance on One. The poor love.
We have learnt that I do not know the difference between lineman's pliers and needle nose pliers, a bradawl and a screwdriver, a wrench and a spanner, a Phillips and a flat head or an Allen key and a hex key (apparently no difference, and fetching Alan's keys didn't help at all but did give Scott a good laugh).
We also learnt that I am not as strong as I look, being tall does not equate to upper body strength, as Scott's foot will tell you if you care to converse with a foot. Honestly, we're all going a little mad now and talking to a foot isn't the worst that could happen.
Send steel toed boots!
Chapter Management
Day 10
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Day 10 of isolation on Tracy Island.
Do you ever feel like you're living in a TV show? That's me right now and I feel like I woke up in Scooby Doo.
Allow me to explain. It started out innocently enough, we were all in the kitchen eating breakfast, I'd been drafted to make everyone bacon sandwiches and everything was surprisingly calm, when we heard a yelp and then a crash.
We all looked over and there was Brains, splattered on the floor, MAX standing over him looking… Well I can't say concerned, more like guilty.
"You tripped me!" Brains accused.
"I told you I wasn't clumsy," John announced as he shoved a large spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
"My glasses! I c-cant find my g-glasses."
We all watched as Brains crawled around on his hands and knees, patting the floor, his face screwed up in concentration.
"You c-could help!"
We all jumped to attention and the great glasses search began. We looked everywhere, under the table, in the hall, under Alan because that boy sits on everything, all crawling around like idiots, bumping into each other and trying to follow Brains' directions. But they had gone. Completely vanished.
"MAX, help me up," a dejected Brains called.
MAX moved forward and we heard a sickening crunch. It was Gordon that picked up the broken glasses and held them out to Brains, cupped gently in his hands.
Brains looked like a kicked puppy as he held them up by one arm and a lense fell out.
Brains is now wearing an old pair, small red frames which he's peering through like he's looking down a tunnel.
That was when the family photos came out. I've learnt that John had glasses as a teen before he had his eyes lasered, Scott had a chubby phase, Virgil had very unfortunate hair that resembled a flock of seagulls, Gordon once had a liking for very wide pants and Alan had braces. So stinkin' cute!
Send contact lenses!
Chapter Management