Tale #1:

The Strange Stranger from China

(The revised edition)

Featured voices:

ROBERT O. SMITH as Genma Saotome

DAVID KAYE as Soun Tendo

WILLOW JOHNSON as Kasumi Tendo

ANGELA COSTAIN as Nabiki Tendo

MYRIAM SIROIS as Akane Tendo

GREG ABBEY as Ranma Saotome (male)

VENUS TERZO as Ranko Saotome (female)

RICK JONES as Kenma Saotome

ALAN MARRIOTT as Dr. Tofu and Jusenkyo Tour Guide

Hi there. My name's Kenma Saotome, and if you've got time, I'd like to tell you about the spiral of insanity that is my life.

I live with my father, Genma Saotome. He teaches martial arts-and my fraternal twin brother, Ranma. If there's one thing that separates me from my dad and brother, it's that they're both hugely invested in all that martial arts stuff. I, on the other hand, don't really like it. I've never been the fighter type; I prefer drawing cartoons instead of drawing first blood. I guess Ranma was happy for me, but Dad was beside himself with grief. He whined to the heavens about why only one of his sons was interested in the future of his fighting style, and when he was done with that, he would lecture me that artists were a dime a dozen, whereas passing on the teachings of the Anything Goes Fighting Style was MUCH more important... to him, at least.

So, anyways, I didn't have much time to really get into my art, since we were always on the move, and Dad had a knack... Scratch that! He had an obsession for making promises to strangers that he never intended to keep, like this guy who had an okonomiyaki cart and a son named Ukyo that bro was best buddies with. Dad, being Dad, took the cart and ran off in the middle of the night, taking us with him and leaving Ukyo in the dust.

But as wild as that sounds, here's where our little escapade kicks into high gear: Just last month, we made it to China, and went to this place called "Jusenkyo". While Ranma and Dad spared above the springs, I busied myself by drawing in my notebook. There were some neat ideas in my head that absolutely had to be put on the paper! The tour guide started droning on some story about the springs...something about each of them having a kind of curse, I dunno. Things too fantastic to have any truth to it. I was too focused on my art to listen to care.

All of a sudden, this enormous panda bear lunges out of the water and knocks Ranma into one of the pools. A few seconds later, a smoking-hot redhead with huge knockers comes to the surface. It has to be said she was quite the looker. Damn those mounds!

Now, if there's one thing I have over my brother that my charm with the ladies. Just a week before... Sorry got sidetracked there! A story for another time! So this girl! Redhead, right curves in all the right places! It would have been a waste not to cast my net! A little flirt, some kisses, you know... Even if I never have the time to really get to her because of my father's stupid travel-habits. If only we'd stay in one place for longer...

So I stashed my notebook and I casually strolled over to help her out of the water. "Hey there! Need a hand little lady?" I asked as the girl putting up my standard lady-catcher smile. She looked pretty startled, even a bit any at that. Nothing I can't handle. I pressed, her little accident gave me too good of an opportunity not to exploit! "You must have slipped there pretty bad! Have you seen my brother and my dad? They were here training somewhere…"

"Whaddya mean, Kenma?" she replied in a very familiar Osakan accent. "I'm right here, in front of ya!"

I snickered. "Good one, random cute girl...but Ranma has black hair, and is a…" My voice failed me as realization started to set in. Something was off. Way off! I had numerous conquests, but this would be my first redhead. She wasn't too familiar either. So, how did she know my name? "Wait...I never even told you my name!" I asked trying to stay in character. "How would you know that?!"

"Ah, you brother fall into Nyannichuan; too-too tragic tale of a young girl who drown in spring 1,500 a year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take shape of young girl!" the tour guide explained.

My face turned white. A sick feeling soon spread across my body. Realization was starting to set in.

The girl turned back towards me. "Believe me now, ya damn Casanova?" she asked with a deadpan expression. "Kami, ya just tried to fucking hit on me just now! Why? Have you suddenly decided to play both sides of the fence?

That confirmed it! I could only nod in response. I...I just tried to hit on my own BROTHER! Who, granted, was now a helluva cute girl, but STILL! Never before have I felt so...unclean… At times I still wish I could go to therapy sessions for that one. Too bad the old man was and is a cheapskate...I know both me and Ranma and I would have appreciated a few visits.

After that...unfortunate incident, the three of us schlepped across China until we made it back to Japan-more specifically, one of Tokyo's many little suburbs. To a place called Nerima. Dad had explained to both of us why we had returned here. Apparently one of his old friends, Tendo-san, had arranged for us to be engaged to two of his 3 daughters in order to carry on the legacy of his dojo.

Naturally, Ranma wanted no part of that, and neither did I. Don't get me wrong; wooing not ONE, not TWO, but 3 girls sounded great, but I'd prefer to be free to pick my conquests. Getting married would also severely hamper my chances at playing around more. And because of what? Because two old boneheads put together some nutty marriage plot before we were born… Not good!

So, here's my story of how I got through that mess!

(3rd Person P.O.V.)

As the rain kept crashing down like cats and dogs a red-headed girl raced down the road. In pursuit of her was a panda bear, followed by a ginger-haired boy in a blue, ripped, short-sleeved jean jacket Japanese sweatpants that spelt out "Senpai" on the side in kanji, and beige boots, a hood covering his head. He had his hands in pockets as he lazily jogged after the other two.

"Hey!" the girl snapped as she threw her backpack aside. "You better cut that out!"

The massive bear lunged for her, but she leapt up and kicked him in the face, toppling him over. The boy behind the animal barely managed to get out of the way.

"Geez, watch where you're kicking; he almost flattened me!" the ginger-head exclaimed.

"Well, he DIDN'T!" the girl replied before turning back to the panda. It stood up and smacked her, sending her sliding down a street corner and into a more populated area.

Naturally, everyone who saw the large panda walking down the street towards her began to murmur excitedly. And why not? Seeing a panda and a teenage girl squaring off isn't something that one would consider a normal experience.

"Your move," the girl remarked as the panda swiped at her a few times. Attacks strong and fast enough to put most people down for a long time. The strange girl blocked the attack with little effort. "Well, I still say the whole thing sucks!" she yelled.

The next strike was dodged, the ensuing opening was exploited without mercy. The girl grabbed the panda by the arm and judo-flipped him over her shoulder. "PICKING MY FIANCE FOR ME WITHOUT EVEN ASKING…!" she hollered. The panda landed some distance away. I didn't move.

The redhead panted in mild exhaustion as she reclaimed her bag. "I'm going back to China now...so suck on that, old man," she spat. She then turned to the bored and indifferent boy.

"Kenma, if you're coming, try to keep up." she barked at her brother.

The boy, Kenma, rolled his eyes as he followed behind his acquaintance. Unfortunately, the panda still had some fight left in him. Seconds later, it jumped to his feet and knocked the girl out with a street sign. He then put her over his shoulder and took the bag in his other paw. He turned to Kenma and threw a growl at him, as if saying to follow.

The boy shrugged. There was not much else he could do. Noticing the people murmuring around him, the panda let off a quick growl to frighten them away, before continuing on the path he was headed in.

Kenma just sighed. "What kami did I anger to be in this situation?" he thought shaking his head.

….

MEANWHILE…

Soun Tendo's eyes sparkled with a childlike joy as he clutched the postcard in his fingers. Tears ran down his face in a fashion the would make some waterfalls envious.

"At last, Genma is coming!" he beamed. "How I've waited for this day…!" He sniffled a few times before turning the paper around to face the picture on the other side. There was a cute panda on it, munching away on its treat. "And soon, very soon...he and his sons will be here!"

He glanced up to the ceiling before calling out. "Listen up! Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!"

In the well-equipped and well-kept kitchen, a young brunette was busy, prim and proper in old fashioned clothes. Her movements were practised and precise. Almost like a musician. The dial of the stove clicked as she adjusted the fire. Seconds later two sharp yet gentle taps sounded across her lair. A third one much softer followed soon enough as she placed the wooden spoon on top of the pot.

"Kasumi," said Soun as he poked his head inside the kitchen.

"Yes, what is it, Father?" she asked in a dutiful manner.

In another room, a young girl was spread lazily across her bed. She dangled her legs back and forth in a lazy fashion while going through some of her notes. The booklet was filled with monetary calculations some too complex for people with less experience in economics.

She brushed her shoulder-length hair behind her ear while concentrating on her work. The latest results of her investments looked good. Her thoughts were cut short by the appearance of her father.

"Nabiki!" he announced himself.

"Hm?" she replied, turning to him

Finally, that left just one. Soun opened the door of his youngest's room. The small wooden duck clattered against the door as he opened it. "Akane?" he asked gazing into the empty room. "Where is that girl…?"

The girl in question, was in the dojo, decked out in a martial arts gi. She inhaled through her nostrils, steadying her hand. Her eyes focused on her target. A rather large and thick cinder block. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath before letting out a loud "HAAI-YAH!"Her strike was perfect. The concrete block never had a chance. It shattered with small shards flying all across the training-hall. A small chunk bounced across the polished floor to be stopped by her older sister's foot.

Akane wiped her brow, looking a bit more pleasant than she had previously. "Whew...that felt pretty good." Just then, she saw a Polaroid camera flash. She glanced at the culprit. Nabiki.

"There you go again, Akane," the older girl said in a chastising tone. "This is exactly the type of thing that makes the boys think you're so weird."

Akane's brow furrowed. "So why should I care, Nabiki?" she asked. "Not everybody thinks the whole WORLD revolves around...BOYS!" She angrily turned her head up.

"No?" asked Nabiki, turning on her heels and walking out of the dojo. "Then I guess this wouldn't interest you."

As she left, Akane poked her head out the door and looked on, curious.

And so, a little while later, all three Tendo daughters were gathered in the main room with their father.

"Fiance?" asked Kasumi with a restrained shock.

"Yes," replied Soun. "The sons of a very good friend of mine. Their names are Ranma and Kenma Saotome. If one of you three girls were to marry one of the boys and carry on this training hall, then the two schools of Anything Goes Martial Arts would be joined as one and the Tendo family legacy would be secure!"

Akane glared. "Hey, wait a minute here!" she called out angrily. "Don't we get to have SOME say in who we're going to marry?"

Nabiki leaned over. "Maybe you should wait until you meet them. You never know, they might be really cute." she told her little sister, who just turned her head away again. "Right, Daddy?"

Soun chuckled warmly. "They'll be here any minute." he said as he stood up. "The boys and their father have been on a training mission. Recently they crossed into China."

"Ooh, China," Nabiki beamed.

Akane couldn't care less. "So they hiked all the way to China; wow, big deal." she remarked dismissively.

"Father, how old are these boys?" asked Kasumi.

"Are he cute?" asked Nabiki, hopeful.

"Younger men are so...yellow," Kasumi stated. "Not to mention they aren't very interesting…"

"Well, what kind of guys ARE they?" asked Akane.

Soun laughed nervously at the antics of his daughters. He turned to face his daughters. "...I don't know." he replied.

Now Nabiki looked pretty miffed. "You don't know…?" she asked.

"I've never met them," Soun admitted matter of factly.

Nabiki and Kasumi stared at their father, whereas Akane was a different story altogether. She turned away in anger and disbelief.

"Oh, God; I don't believe this..." she thought to herself staring through the window at the sky.

Suddenly, heavy footsteps came from the verandah. Along with them were the protests of a female voice, yelling, "Leggo, ya old fool! I told ya, I don't want any part of this! Now put me DOWN!"

"Oh my! Sounds like we have visitors," Kasumi said as she stood up.

"Ooh, it must be them!" Nabiki remarked as she went outside to check.

"Gen-kun, my friend!" Soun exclaimed with jollity in his voice as he went to go take a look. "We've been waiting!"

"I hope those boys are older than me…" Kasumi said to herself as she and Akane went to go take a look. But to their surprise, Nabiki and Soun came running back down the hallway, and behind them was the massive panda, accompanied by a fiercely-protesting girl and a nonchalant boy.

"So, this is Saotome-san?" asked Kasumi in shock. Soun rapidly shook his head.

"Oh? Then I suppose this panda just decided to drop by for a visit?" asked Nabiki, giving her father a glare.

The boy stepped to the front to keep the situation from escalating. "People, people, relax; if we could trouble you for some hot water, I'd be happy to ex…" he began, but he trailed off when his eyes landed on Akane.

His gaze locked on her frame. Her petite athletic form. Those beautiful eyes. Well developed habit went out the window as he stared at her with mouth hanging open. This woman, no this goddess he had to have.

Akane glanced back at the boy, who by her book looked positively dumbstruck. What was wrong with him?! His eyes were roaming her form from top to bottom. For all she knew, he was probably sizing her up so he could do something lecherous to her later. Typical, he was no different than all the drooling horndogs at her school! And to think, she'd have to marry him? The very thought made Akane's blood boil with white-hot rage!

"Hey! What're you looking at, you hentai?" she growled. No answer "Cat got your tongue?"

Her only response came in the form of a goofy-looking smile from the boy. It only made things worse.

"Well…? ANSWER ME, YOU…YOU BAKA!" she shouted as she conjured up a mallet. Without a second thought, she brought it down on him, sending him off on a short sightseeing trip. The only leftover sign of the boys irritating presence was a gaping hole in the wall.

The panda looked stared at the result. It didn't matter much. He had the son that really counted draped over his shoulder. Although the son in question was quite female. Not that it mattered. He placed his offspring, before the still fuming girl. Partially intending to use the not-quite-masculine-boy as a meat shield if Akane decided to have another swing.

Soun reached a quivering finger toward the second, non-bludgeoned redhead. "You...wouldn't be…"

The redhead turned to the side, looking a bit shy. "...Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this," she finished in a whisper.

Soun's surprise gave way to joy. "At last! You have come!" he exclaimed, grabbing Ranma by the shoulders.

"Oooh...he is cute," Nabiki noted, taking in the view.

Kasumi looked a bit concerned. "Then who was the other boy?" Her question fell on deaf ears.

Soun hugged Ranma to his chest. "I'm so glad you're here!" he beamed. Just then, he felt that something was not right with this situation.

He hugged him a couple more times, then stepped back and saw that the alleged 'boy' was sporting a rather...plentiful bust.

Nabiki leaned in, and began poking Ranma's chest, much to the detriment of the pigtailed one. She then started feeling it with her hand.

"Um...could you stop that?" the Saotome girl asked, the embarrassment bubbling up inside.

Nabiki then turned back towards her father. "...Ranma's not a boy, he's a girl!"

By now, Soun had broken out in a cold sweat; he felt lightheaded, and the room seemed like it was spinning. With a cry of shock, he fainted.

...

After an undetermined amount of time, Soun regained consciousness as he was lying down on top of a futon.

"Oh, poor Father; you must be so disappointed," Kasumi sighed.

"He's disappointed? He's not the only one!" Nabiki replied almost yelling while poking at Ranma's rack. "I mean, just look at her! Some fiance!"

"Hey, could ya stop that?" Ranma asked quietly.

"Hey, leave her alone, you two," Akane said. "He...er, she's our guest."

"This is all your fault, Daddy," said Nabiki, scolding Soun. "Don't you know the difference between a girl and a boy?"

"B-but, Genma said that he had two sons!" Soun retorted, tears streaming from his eyes.

Nabiki squeezed Ranma's breast to emphasize her statement. "Does this look like a son to you? Hmm?" she asked with indignation.

"...I really wish you'd stop that…" Ranma told her, glowering quietly.

Akane pulled her sister's hand from the redheaded girl's chest. "You heard her, Nabiki," she called out. "Stop sexually harassing our guest."

Nabiki withdrew her hand as Akane placed one of hers on Ranma's shoulder. "Hey...you wanna join me in the dojo?" she asked with a smile.

Ranma looked at Akane gratefully, thankful that someone had saved her from that embarrassing situation. She gazed at the girl that saved her. As far as she was concerned this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. "Sure, I'd love ta have a match with ya."

"I'm Akane," the girl told her. "...you wanna be friends?"

Ranma gave a small, curt nod in response.

Soon, both girls were in the Tendo Dojo.

"You studied kenpo, right?" asked Akane.

"A little…" replied Ranma.

"Well, then let's have a little match, okay?" Akane told her. "C'mon...just for fun."

Both girls stepped to opposite sides of the dojo floor. If anything Ranma seemed to be shy to be fighting while Akane seemed to be positively eager to get into the fight. She took an offensive stance ready to attack. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you," she said to Ranma.

A few seconds passed. Ranma just stood there hands behind her back. Relaxed. Finally, Akane decided to attack. She lunged at Ranma, throwing a punch that was dodged easily; then a kick, which was sidestepped. Then another punch and another kick. None of the attacks connected. They didn't even touch their intended target. The redhead simply avoided them all.

"What's wrong? Attack me!" Akane demanded as she started to get frustrated by the apparent skill of her opponent. She threw another punch, following it up with two more. "Why...why am I missing her?" she asked herself, in disbelief. "Is she reading my moves?" The girl was really starting to get frustrated.

"Okay, this time for real!" she declared silently, before letting out a yell and going all offence. The only result of her exertion was a hole in the wall where her fist landed.

Once again, Ranma dodged easily. She performed a backflip over Akane's head to land behind her, then she proceeded by lightly tapping her opponents on the back of her head.

Ranma couldn't help but chuckle, soon Akane joined in on the laughter.

"You're pretty good," the Tendo girl beamed as she strolled around the room. "I'm just glad that you're a girl."

Ranma looked a bit confused.

"I'm just really glad you're not a boy!" Akane explained as she walked out of the dojo, leaving Ranma alone with her thoughts.

Meanwhile, Kenma crash-landed in an alleyway. Trashcans and other discarded things were thrown around by his impact. Not for the first time in his life the few lessons he had taken from his father had saved his life. While he abhorred any kind of violence the ability to take a fall and walk away did have its advantages. However, it didn't mean it was a comfortable landing. He groaned in pain and managed to stay in a semi-conscious state. Part of him wished to be out cold.

"W-what happened?" he asked himself trying to sort out his memories. His forehead was throbbing with a most unwelcome pain. All he could remember was seeing the most beautiful girl he had ever come across before being malleted into space... But who was it? It wasn't one of those girls, right?

Kenma attempted to get up, but when he got to his feet, he lost his balance and fell backwards.

"FUCK!" he screamed as pain shot through his body. "Damn, that hurts like hell!"

Just then, a man in black robes came outside. He looked down at Kenma, who was suffering from extreme pain.

"Ah, I thought I heard screaming out here," he said. The man walked to Kenma's side and pulled him to his feet, keeping an arm around his waist so that Kenma wouldn't fall. "I'm Dr. Tofu, the local chiropractor for Nerima. What is your name?"

"Ke-kenma… S-Saotome… " Kenma managed to say, grabbing the back of his abused scalp as he felt the pain spreading in the area.

"Kenma, huh? Well, come on let me have a look at you! That bruise on your cheek looks somewhat familiar! If it is from the one I believe it to be you could use a check-up!" the doctor chuckled at his own bad joke. "You could also need a long bath! You don't look too polished either!"

Kenma looked at him incredulously. "What do you mean I'm not polished? I'm the cool kid next door! Everyone loves me! Especially the girls."

Dr. Tofu kept on chuckling. "Your wounds say otherwise." As soon as Dr. Tofu put Kenma on the examination table, he sobered up immediately. "How did this happen to you?"

Kenma rubbed his neck as Dr. Tofu began treating his injuries, trying to recall what exactly happened.

"Well, my head's kind of fuzzy after what happened," Kenma admitted. "But I remember that my bastard of a father brought me and my brother, er... sister, er... whatever. Long story! So my bastard of a father brought us to his old friend... Tendo-san, his name is, I believe. He made an agreement with the guy, promising o that one of his us will marry one of this guy's daughters and join the two schools of martial arts. At first, me and my brother were furious, but when I saw those three beautiful goddesses... l immediately changed my mind! However, it seems to appear that someone around the three gir-, no, women! They are gorgeous women! Well, I don't know who, but someone is probably not fond of men around them. Whoever it was, they pulled out a mallet from somewhere and hit me, sending me into the stratosphere. I guess I really deserved that one... The way I was ogling her body shamelessly. She was just so... You probably understand since you're from around here. All I can hope for is that she'll be willing to forgive me."

"Hmm… " Dr. Tofu said when Kenma finished his tale. "Sounds like Akane… "

"Akane Tendo?" Kenma asked. The doctor nodded. The boy's eyes glazed over. "Ah, what a fine and lovely name for such a fair princess. There's no way I'm not having a go at her! No! I will have her!"

Tofu shook his head in disbelief. "You already fell for Akane? And from the way you talk, it sounds like you're a casanova."

When he received no response from Kenma, Dr. Tofu turned to the examination board and saw… nothing. Kenma was gone.

The doctor almost slapped himself. He needed to catch that skirt-chaser. He looked okay-ish, but warnings have to be given. If that Kenma boy doesn't keep it down he could really get himself hurt in a really bad way. Akane was a sweet girl and all. But if her buttons get pushed just the right way...

...

In the main room, the door to the Tendo house swung open, and Kenma staggered inside, now sporting a massive black eye, and his clothes were a bit more torn. He was also bleeding a bit in a few places, and was breathing profusely.

"...finally...back…" he wheezed, clutching his stomach as he caught his breath. Once he'd finished, he saw Genma and Soun sitting at a table, glancing at one another; it was clear that both men had been crying for quite some time.

"So that's it…" said Soun. Genma gave a firm nod in response.

Soun gazed out towards the sunset. "The path of a true martial artist is fraught with perils..." he remarked.

Kenma cleared his throat to get their attention, and they both turned to face him.

"Anybody gonna clue me in on what happened, or do I gotta guess for myself?" he asked.

"Saotome-san...who exactly IS this?" asked Soun.

"Nobody important, old friend!" Genma laughed sheepishly.

"I don't hafta be insulted like this, you know," Kenma remarked, glaring daggers at both of them. "Least of all, by my own father."

Soun turned to Genma. "So, you do have A son!" he exclaimed.

"Ranma, you can use this room," Kasumi told the pigtailed redhead, showing her to a nice-looking little room. "Would you like to freshen up and have a bath now?"

"Uh...no thanks," Ranma replied after some hesitation.

"Here; you've been exercising, haven't you?" Kasumi asked as she gave the girl a bright yellow towel.

Ranma looked down a bit nervously. "...yes…" she replied.

Shortly, Kasumi was in the kitchen when Nabiki came inside.

"Hey, Kasumi; who was that strange man and that boy in the living room?" she asked.

Kasumi closed the fridge door. "Who knows?" she replied. "Go tell Akane she can take her bath now."

"OK…" Nabiki replied as she ducked out of the room. On her way back through, she spotted a new arrival. Dr. Tofu, treating Kenma's injuries. The girl shrugged. While she was all for profit turning away people in need was not her style. Besides... why turn them away when you can bill 'em!

"Amazing how you made it all the way here before collapsing," the doctor noted to the somewhat-conscious Kenma. "While I find that most impressive, I'd advise you not to do anything like that again, for the sake of your own health. You just left my office with several lacerations. How did you even do it? Most would have keeled over halfway! I fear you'll have to stay at the clinic overnight just to be on the safe side."

Due to the sedatives he'd been given to muffle the pain, Kenma couldn't exactly speak too well; the best he could give were some grunts. He murmured something about Akane, but he was too incoherent to make any sense.

Just then, Kasumi came out of the kitchen, rice cooker in hand as she was preparing the table for dinner.

"Oh, my!" Kasumi gasped. "What happened here?"

Dr. Tofu's glasses instantly fogged up. "Oh, why Kasumi! What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?" Unintentionally, the good doctor started to wrap Kenma's leg with too many elastic bandages. The pressure on his leg woke up Kenma as he started to feel pain. Even the sedatives couldn't keep him from screaming out in agony as his limb got mangled.

Kasumi let out a small giggle. "Oh, Dr. Tofu, you silly man. I live here, remember?" She glanced at Kenma, who was now trying to escape Tofu's hands. He was desperately trying to fight off hands much stronger than his own.

"Who is this? And what happened to him?" asked the girl.

"Oh, this person? He's nobody," Tofu replied with a goofy smile.

"Too right," agreed Genma. If Kenma were able to lift his arms, he would've flipped off the old bastard.

"Saotome! How could you! He's your son, whether you like him or not!" Soun cleared his throat. "Kasumi, dear, this is Kenma Saotome, one of the two sons Genma has. The other is, well, that red-haired girl we saw earlier."

Kasumi let out a surprised gasp. "How so?"

Genma and Soun exchanged a look, but before they could say anything, an ear-piercing scream rang out from upstairs.

As these events were unfolding, Ranma was in the furo after his match. He didn't even break a sweat during his little scuffle with Akane. But on the insistence of that nice girl, he caved in. She was just too nice to disappoint. "What to do? What to do?" he mused as he sank into the warmth of the furo. "This damn curse, I just hate it! It makes me so… girly!"

Ranma let out a deep sigh. "Oh well, it's not like I can do anything about it. As far as I know, there's no cure. Now the real question is, should I go out in my real form or my cursed?" After a moment of internal debate, he made a decision. "You know what... Screw it! They'll find out sooner or later! I might as well go out like I am!"

Just outside Akane was getting ready to enter the furo. Nabiki told her to take a bath before dinner and a long hot bath did sound nice. She noticed that Ranma's clothes were in the hamper. Not a problem in her book. "We can share the bath," she thought with a smile. "Maybe I can get her to tell how she dodged all my attacks without fighting me before… "

Just as Ranma was getting out of the bathtub, Akane opened the sliding door. He glanced at her. The girl was in all her naked glory. The only thing providing her with a semblance of modesty was the towel in her hand. By some sheet miracle, it just happened to cover her female parts from his view. He, on the other hand, was not that lucky. Time stood still as Ranma and Akane stared at each other. "Goddamit, now she's gonna kill me!" he thought. "She's gonna kill me, just like she did it Kenma! I'm gonna fucking die!" Despite his panic, Ranma managed to keep himself from freaking out.

Akane slowly backed away and closed the sliding door. A wooden thump brought Ranma out of it. Outside Akane slowly got dressed. Shock was keeping her calm. She stepped out of the changing room. Closed the door and leaned against it. Then she screamed.

Everyone turned and looked as they saw Akane running downstairs, shrieking her head off. She needed something large and heavy to deal with the perverted intruder. She saw it! The table in the living room! Genma and Soun quickly removed anything heavy they put on it as Akane hoisted the heavy piece of furniture over her head. Fear was replaced by rage! She was out for blood!

"I'll DROWN him in the bathtub!" she yelled more to herself than anybody in the room.

"Akane, what's the matter?" asked Kasumi. "And what are you doing with that?"

"There's a pervert in the bathroom!" Akane exclaimed.

"Well, gee, Akane, why didn't you just clobber him?" asked Nabiki in a rather calm manner, considering the situation.

"Because I got scared!" Akane retorted angrily.

"Oh, I do hope Ranma's alright! I thought she was in there taking a bath right now," Kasumi said with a look of concern.

"...'scuse me." said a low, masculine voice, which got everyone's attention.

"Who's that?" asked Nabiki nonchalantly. In her book, this day was starting to look like one of those. Standing before everyone was a black-haired boy with a pigtail; he had blue-grey eyes and wore a red sleeveless Chinese shirt, as well as a pair of black pants. He looked a bit embarrassed, judging from the look on his face.

"Who are you?" asked Nabiki.

"...I'm Ranma Saotome," the boy explained. "Sorry 'bout this. And the guy wrapped in bandages is my brother, Kenma."

The Tendo sisters were befuddled by this sudden turn of events...even Akane. With the anger leaving her system the weight of the table started to dawn on her. She soon relented and the thing landed on the top of her head with a heavy thunk. Simple shock made her unable to feel the pain.

A little bit later, Kenma was able to form coherent sentences again, and he was feeling a bit better.

"I can explain everything," Soun told his daughters. "This is my dear old friend…"

"Genma Saotome." the heavyset man with glasses introduced himself. "And this is my son…" he felt a sharp pinch in the arm. "OW! ...I mean, sons."

"Ranma," said the black-haired boy.

"Kenma." added the ginger-haired boy; as he looked around the room, he could plainly see that the girl called 'Akane' was undoubtedly glaring daggers at Ranma; for what reason, he didn't know. As far as he knew, Ranma hadn't done anything wrong...yet!

"This gets more interesting by the minute," Nabiki observed.

"Are you really her, the girl we saw earlier?" questioned Kasumi.

"I am…" replied Ranma.

"It's such a long story, I don't know where to begin," Genma uttered as he got to his feet. "So let's just start from here."

He grabbed Ranma by the shirt and pitched him straight into the koi pond. A few seconds later, Ranma resurfaced, but as the same red-headed girl from earlier that day.

"What'dja do THAT for?!" she bellowed angrily.

"Oh, my," muttered Nabiki, stealing a line from Kasumi.

"Jusenkyo, I assume?" asked Dr. Tofu, remarked. "Never thought that one to be true!"

"Ranma's a...girl now," observed Kasumi.

Genma gazed down at the transformed person before him. "I am so ashamed...I cannot bear to see my son like this…" he spoke in an over-dramatic manner. "Ranma Saotome, you break your father's heart! It's bad enough one of my sons wants nothing to do with martial arts, but now my other son is cursed to turn into a girl! Oh, the humiliation of it all...!"

But before he could put on some more crocodile tears, he found himself getting shoved into the pond by both of his offspring.

A second later, the large panda emerged from the water, much to the surprise of the others.

"Who are you to talk?!" yelled both boys in union.

"Our old man's a panda!" Ranma angrily punched Genma in his gut while Kenma smacked him in the face with his sketchbook. Even his pacifist tendencies had their limit. After this, a small free-for-all broke out between the three Saotomes.

"Daddy? You certainly have some odd friends," stated Kasumi.

"They weren't always like this," Soun informed. "Not before they went to China...and took that terrifying training exercise!"

After a quick steam in the furo, Genma and Ranma were back to their normal selves.

"Ah, yes; it was two fateful weeks ago…" Genma sighed as he began. The explanation didn't take long but had the Tendos somewhat surprised. Dr. Tofu... with Kasumi's presence registered one more he was away in some happy, faraway place. His dance-like steps led him to the door and out onto the streets.

"The legendary ground of accursed springs…" Soun muttered. "Its true horror has always been shrouded in mystery, but now…"

"Whaddya mean, true horror?" Ranma fumed as he grabbed his father by the shirt. "Yo, old man; what's the big idea takin' us to that place anyway?"

With a judo shout, Genma threw Ranma back into the koi pond.

"Listen to yourself, you sound like a woman!" he spat. "Were you not prepared to give your life for the sake of training?!"

Ranko climbed out of the water, now holding a bucketful. "My life, yes…" she said, before dumping the water on Genma. "MY MANHOOD IS ANOTHER STORY!"

The panda took a defensive stance and growled.

"Ya just had ta find that training ground, even though ya don't speak a word of Chinese!" Ranko snapped as she and Genma began to grapple.

Meanwhile, Kenma started to scribble in his sketchbook. The idea he just had had to be made a reality. By the look on his face, he was used to such banter.

Soun wiped some tears from his eyes. "How I suffer for you…" he said as he held up a full teakettle. "Here."

He then emptied some of the scalding hot water on Genma's head, though he was oblivious to the pain his friend was in. "When doused with hot water, you return to human form…" Soun noted.

The human-once-more Genma panted in exhaustion. "...it needn't be quite that hot, thank you…" he wheezed.

Soun leaned over to Ranko. "When doused with cold water, you become a girl…" he muttered as he almost dumped the boiling water on the girl. "But hot water turns you back into a boy!"

"Hot water, not boiling!" she snapped.

Soun patted her on the shoulder. "Well now, your problem isn't so bad," he chuckled. "Boys!" He proclaimed gesturing to the girls. "My oldest daughter, Kasumi-she's nineteen; my middle daughter, Nabiki-she's seventeen; and my youngest daughter, Akane-she's sixteen. Pick any one you like, and she'll be your new fiance."

Kenma glanced between the three of them. "I feel like a kid in a candy store..." he thought. "Which one should I choose? Oh, drat...I never was too good when it came to making difficult choices like this…" he pondered, scratching his head. The three girls were very beautiful in their own ways. Kasumi was a bit on the mature side, a side that turned Kenma on, while Nabiki had a body that he could die for. Plus, her icy attitude fit nicely with his fiery persona. And then there was Akane. The tomboy. She was everything Kenma could hope for. Someone who was feisty, self-dependant, which Kenma liked seeing in women. Plus, she wasn't bad looking; he liked modest girls that showed a little of their assets.

Akane started feeling anger and disgust consume her as Kenma ogled the three of them. "You, you… HENTAI! BAKA!"

She brandished a mallet and attempted to hit Kenma when Genma beat her to it.

"Boy, shut your mouth," Genma said as he punched Kenma,knocking him for a loop. "This deal was made between me and Tendo-san. I get to decide who marries one of these three girls. And that person definitely isn't you."

Kenma rubbed his head. "What do you mean? I'm your son, aren't I? So why can't I get a fiance?"

"Because, boy, you're not a martial artist. If you were more like your brother over here, then maybe you could have had one of these fine, young ladies. But no, you decided to abandon the art of martial artists for… For drawing pictures! And stupid pictures, to boot!"

"What do you know, you fat lump?!" Kenma retorted. "Like you could ever hope to understand my creative genius!"

"How could you say that to your son, Saotome?" Soun asked, manifesting his demon head.

"Pops!" Ranma intervened. "Give 'im a break! He just got sent into orbit cuz of that tomboy over there! Plus, he's a great artist! If he really becomes famous, I won't be surprised if he decides not to give ya any of the money he makes."

Kenma nodded. "that is true! Not even a single yen!"

Genma started to cower in fear as Akane rose to her feet, furious. "What did you just call me?"

Ranma turned to Akane and inwardly cringed at her facial expression. However, at that very moment, the Saotome Stick Foot in Mouth ability kicked in. "Are ya deaf? Here, I'll say it again. Y'er a tomboy! Uncute, unsexy, built like a brick, stiff as a stick! Even my cursed form is better built!"

A rage-filled Akane glared at an oblivious Ranma, who was laughing to himself, as the others were bracing for impact. Akane grabbed the dining table with one hand and clobbered the unaware Ranma.

Genma shook his head at Ranma. "Now THAT he deserved."

Akane shifted her glare upon Genma, who began cowering in fear once again. "You're even worse! So what if your son isn't a martial artist? I oughta to send you into space!"

Genma splashed himself with some nearby cold water. Once in his cursed form, he pulled out a sign that read "I'm just a cute lil' panda!" All the while playing with a beach ball.

Kenma sniffled a little bit. "Nobody's ever stood up for me like that before…" he said. "I dunno what to say...other than thank you, but still…"

He dropped to his knees before Akane. "Truly...you are a goddess on Earth!" he exclaimed. "I'm not worthy to be in the same room as you!"

Akane didn't know how to react. No boy has ever told her things like this. Well… Kuno did, but he was a delusional idiot… but Kenma… she could tell that he was somehow different. She just didn't know how he was different. This confusion caused her to react the only way she knew: violently.

Akane slapped Kenma across the face, causing him to once again go into an unconscious state. He flew out into the garden where the smacked against the concrete fencing of the yard.

"Akane-hime…" he murmured once he came to a stop.

Ranma had gotten to his feet and recovered from his injury. "..if that's how she reacts to compliments, then she's never gonna get a boyfriend, let alone a fiance…" he grunted.

Kasumi let out a gasp. Akane advanced on Ranma's back with murderous intent. Nabiki rushed into the kitchen for some corn.

NOTE TO READERS: Ukyo will still be a girl; Kenma only thought she was a boy because of how she was dressed, not to mention little boys have high-pitched voices, so it was easy for him to make that mistake at his age.

2ND NOTE: This fanfiction will cover some of the arcs from the anime and manga, as well as some of the O.V.A.s & films...not to mention some of the final arcs.