AN: Hi everyone! These are going to be OS that may or may not be connected. Since life doesn't seem to let me finish anything I start, I don't want to write a potentially long story. I can't promise I'll be updating soon, either. As said, my life is a mess. I'm a nurse and I also work as a trainer for future health carers, so between the virus and online classes, I've got way too much on my plate. Thank goodness, I got a few days off and, as I don't want to get too close to my people yet, I've been catching up on some shows. Loved this season!! I really hope I'm wrong, but I believe next season things are going to get worse, before they get better. So this is my take on the worse part.

May y'all stay happy and healthy!!

PS: Excuse my English! Still not my first language ;P

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

It was the first day Andy was back to work. She had taken some time off to deal with the shocking news about her mother, that had been so hard on her. The story Elena had told her wasn't even close to enough for her liking and it was too late to hear her father's side of it, which made her even angrier. It was devastating. She was also disappointed in herself, she wasn't like that, she was strong and fearless. What was wrong with her? That she didn't know, but the truth was that she didn't feel either strong or fearless. These past few days had been tough and she was a mess. Although she wasn't ready to admit it yet, a big part of all the pain she was going through at that moment had been selfinflicted, but she was so mad at the world, that she wasn't seeing things clearly. So, after a couple of days spinning out alone at home, she had decided to go back to work, even though she had to confront some of the people she was mad at. If she was honest with herself, which she wasn't prepared to do just yet, she was the only person that she was truly mad at, because she had let her parents issues to get on the way of her own life, a life she used to love and was happy with.

After a few seconds of unsureness inside her car, she decided to get into the station, up to the locker room and from there straight to her asigned chores, deliberately skipping the beanery, since she was not ready to face her friends.

A while later, Andy heard the team approaching and got nervous. She knew Maya had kept them informed about her mom, which she was grateful for in some way, since she didn't have to go through saying it out loud again, but on the other hand, she could see a lot of questioning coming in her way. Hopefully, they'll see she wasn't in the mood to talk about anything at all.

"Hey! Maya told us you were coming, but we didn't notice you were already here! We just finished breakfast." Vic greeted her, happily. "Hi..I..uh..didn't feel like eating." Andy answered without making eye contact, and they all realized she wasn't in the best place. "Well, welcome back!" Travis said, after a few seconds of awkward silence. Luckily for everyone, the alarm sounded and they all had to get ready for the call.

"Can I be on Aid car today?" Andy asked quietly to Maya before leaving. Her friend and captain frowned but agreed instantly, knowing that she wouldn't ask something like that if she didn't have a good reason. "Montgomery, you're on engine today!"

The call was a major fire that took half of their day and left them exhausted. Once they had finished and were on their way back to the station from Grey Sloan on the ambulance, Miller took a chance and talked. "Hey, if there is anything I can do...I mean, it might've been really hard..." He rambled, not sure if he was doing the right thing starting that conversation. "Thank you." Herrera answered, sincerelly. Dean was probably the only member of their team that she wasn't mad at, and she silently thanked the universe that it was him the one paired up with her that day.

"How is Pru?" Andy asked naturally, but with a painfull shadow crossing her face when she realized she had just said her father's name. Dean noticed her struggle and tried to lighten the mood. "She's great. She's letting me sleep more, so..." "That's good. I'm glad. You're such a good dad... It goes both ways, you know? If you ever need something..." Herrera added and left Miller surprised. It wasn't only that he could have sworn it was the longest sentence he had heard from her that day, but also, that he wasn't expecting her offer. "Would you babysit my baby?" "Sure, why not? I mean, I'm not super experienced or anything, but I think I can handle your baby." They both chuckled, which helped Andy to feel a bit more like herself again.

Dean grimaced funnily then. "And could the chief handle my baby?" He was still laughing a little at the thought when he noticed Andy tighten her grip to the steering wheel, and he knew right that second, he had unintentionally pushed a button.

For a minute, Miller looked down and played with his hands, as the awkward silence was back. He wasn't planning on saying anything else, but then he saw his friend from the corner of his eye, fighting the tears and couldn't leave it alone. "Is everything ok, Andy?" That's all he came up with, still not looking up, but she didn't aswered. "Is Sullivan alright?" He insisted calmly, this time already making eye contact with her. "I don't know." She replied, choking. "I don't know."

"Did something happened to him? Did the surgery..."

"No! It went well." She cut him. "So what is it? Is he using again or...?"

"No, he's clean. He needed morphine the first couple of days...it was too painful, but he's clean." She said with a sad smile. "That's great then! It's a big step!" Miller celebrated, trying to cheer her up. "He's going to be ok, you'll see! He's a tough guy." He added with an encouraging nod.

"Can you keep this conversation between us?" Herrera requested him, still with a glassy look. "Ok, I will. But if there's something bothering you...you know you can count on us, right?"

"Right" She repeated, with a hint of irony that didn't go unnoticed by her friend. "It's true, you can. We're family."

"You know, I haven't been myself in a long time and I'm sorry that you had to bear with me and my grief. I'm also grateful for what you did for my father's funeral, but just be honest, I can't count on you, not with this, anyway." The sadness in her voice, broke Dean's heart. Was that what she really thought? That she couldn't count on them?

"Where is all that coming from? You know we are a family."

"Well, this family joked and talked ill about my marriage, which was one of the reasons why I didn't feel like I could tell you. And this family also set up my husband to confess his addiction to the corrupt Fire Chief while I needed him the most, something he was already planning on doing by himself, by the way. But things got messy pretty quickly. And yet, Ben couldn't wait a bit, although he didn't seem to have any moral conflict to empathize with a totally stranger drug addict, that also stole fentanyl from his PRT at gun point and shot Avery in the process. And Jack, he...he got into my head and told me to get an annulement and I..." But she couldn't finish, her voice breaking around the lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry, Andy. I didn't realize you were going through so much...I...uh.."

"It's ok. I am the one who's sorry. You weren't even included in all of this. It looks like you are the only one who doesn't have an opinion about it." She apologized.

They stayed quiet for a while, but Miller talked again, not being able to shake the feeling that there was something else going on with his partner.

"Where is Sullivan, Andy?"

She looked at him for an instant, shocked by his question, before breaking eye contact again, a single tear rushing down her cheek. "I don't know."