[Hello, friends. I don't own the characters and world, etc. Just felt like setting out for a JILY epic that I have planned for 20 more chapters. Pls enjoy, review and share your ideas for how this should go.]
How's a bloke supposed to move on? or Chapter 1.
Students clamored around the two Gryffindor sixth years in anticipation of some major jinxing between classes. Lily could hear a gaggle of Slytherin first year girls sniggering - or perhaps swooning behind her opponent.
The pettiness of it all… well it helped her push down her anger, reminding herself that as a prefect, she needed to be a role model - regardless of their house. Besides, trying to outscream someone as infuriating as James Potter was useless and would land them both in trouble. Prefects definitely didn't indulge in shouting matches.
She pocketed her wand and pushed through the crowd, yelling at the students to disperse. She was not going to waste her free period with that git's nonsense. She marched purposefully, refusing to glance back at any of the calls of "Oy, Evans!" behind her, willing the corridor to the library to get shorter.
She wasn't surprised when her tall opponent caught up with her, but she refused to engage, keeping her head down and reaching for the library door.
It was odd how she could be so focused on the corridor in front of her and still be so aware of him besides her - his hand ruffling his hair, his gait relaxed and cocky. Lilly just shook her head - she wished she could cast a spell to slow the adrenaline from the earlier altercation.
She rushed ahead and sat at the first table she saw, with Potter at her heels. She took out a book on Charms, but the infuriating boy slammed his hands down on, bending slightly over the table to try to catch her gaze.
"For Godric's sake, just… go out with me, Evans. Please," the boy said, barking out less of a plea and more of an order. Classic Marauder arrogance, she thought. No - classic James Potter arrogance.
"For the millionth time, why can't you move on to someone else? Someone… willing, perhaps?" she said tersely, hoping Madame Griffiths would come to shoo him out soon.
The boy's face set itself with determination as he leaned in closer.
"Like who?" he smirked at her.
That's when she faltered.
"Like- like.. Literally any girl in the school that's - idunno - pining right now for a hot Quidditch captain," she said, trying to pry her book from under his hands.
"You fancy that I'm a hot quidditch captain, then?" he said, rocking back on his heels triumphantly.
"Ugh.. just leave!" she forgot her volume on that last one, feeling her cheeks begin to betray her.
After so many terms together at the magical school, she should have known there was no chance Potter would listen to her once she began to blend in with her hair.
"No… sorry," he said, feigning a conciliatory look that she didn't trust in the least. "But if I'm going to be 'moving on', I need to know whom to lavish with all of my attention and candid ardor. Be precise."
Lily rolled her eyes.
"Off the top of my head… Sirius? Blimey, just let me do my work, you-"
"No, I cannot accept that non-answer. You need to put actual effort into this," he said, breezing right past her insult. He had the gall to sit down on her table, taking up most of the space in front of her. "If you want results, you're going to have to present some compelling candidates," he added matter of factly, tapping his chin.
"Wha- you must be joking. It's not my problem who you bloody fancy, I am just asking that it not be me! I want nothing to do with you," she said fiercely, hoping to burn him with her temerity and wipe the grin off his face.
"Well that's my offer, Evans."
"No," she said, shaking a bit. "I am not responsible for all your ridiculous displays when you have no regard at all for my feelings on the matter."
This did make him pause. But, just as she had seen him recover from the blow of a bludger during a Quidditch match, he snapped himself out of it and persisted.
"It's not as maddening as all that!" he said plainly, before switching over to a more confident tone. "It's simple arithmancy, really. I find you perfect and irresistible. You say I must give up the notion. I can't just re-track my hopeless, hopeless heart on my own like this - not after… so many years of pining! For which you're practically responsible for - on account of the perfect-ness and irresistible...ness."
If she had the strength, Lily would have lifted the whole table and sent him crashing on his sodding arse right there. He DID NOT just use the same tone he takes to get out of detentions with McGonagall to try to reason with her to set him up on a bloody date.
"You're- you're pathetic, Potter! Just give a witch her peace!"
"I would! But where in the world could I go next?" he raised his hands comically. She really, really hated him.
"You there, Potter! Out now!" the librarian strode over, flicking her wand at the offending Gryffindor.
Lily breathed a sigh of relief as James did a light hop off of the library table.
"Oh all right, I was just finishing up," he told Griffiths before turning back to her. "Don't worry, Evans. I'll give you some time to think up proper candidates and we can regroup on this whole 'focus of my deepest affections' thing this evening in the Common Room!" he said, pointing to her while striding out, as if he was their Potions master making an irrefusable invitation to tea or his private Slug Club parties.
Lily just covered her face and rubbed at her eyes for a moment. She had so much on her mind to give James Potter an ounce of her attention right now. And he didn't even deserve that much, the prat.
She looked up at Madam Griffiths to thank her quietly, and tried to focus on the book in front of her.
That boy was too maddening.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"You don't want to come to lunch, do you?" Felicity Cresswell nudged her fellow prefect. "Merlin, all this talk of potions ingredients has made me really hungry."
Lily rolled her eyes at her companion. "Newt eyes and chicken lips. Yummm."
The girls laughed as they picked up their books.
Felicity, a sixth year Hufflepuff, was just trying to balance her extra tomes for Advanced Care of Magical Creatures when a figure blew past their table sending Felicity backwards in her chair.
Lily looked up annoyed, but faltered at the look of hatred that one of the older Slytherin boys, Alexei Carrow, threw her and her friend.
He shuffled away, his own prefect badge gleaming, but his grumbling was unmistakeable: "Ruddy mudbloods."
The two trudged toward the Great Hall silently. Lily didn't know what Felicity was thinking but she could imagine it was some version of rage and exhaustion. In the last year, Hogwarts had become so hostile - the world had become so hostile.
"And to think. Carrow thought his good attitude would land him Head Boy this year," Felicity said, breaking the silence between them.
Lily tried laughing, before throwing an arm around her friend.
"It's weird being back, isn't it? At home, the only hatred I have to deal with is from my sister. Here, anyone could be judging us. And for what?"
"They're just jealous," Felicity said, throwing a genuine smile her way. "Purebloods sure seem touchy - constantly comparing themselves to muggle-born and then throwing hissy fits when they end up falling behind just because we work so much harder."
Lilly nodded, frustrated. "Sweet Circe! And if they do anything right or better than a muggle-born, they can be so.. So arrogant about it! Bloody bragging to every statue in school!"
Felicity laughed lightly.
"I really can't stand the way they walk around owning the place. You know what bloody Potter said tod-"
Before she could get properly revved up into a rant, her friend pulled her back.
"Wow. There's no way you're putting Potter's arrogance in the same bucket as literal Death Eaters," Felicity chided.
"Sorry, I was.. Obviously no. Just… being glib," Lily said quickly, her face flushing as she realized how she must have come across. "No. It's nice of Potter to not believe I'm inferior to him in every way," she agreed, "but now he's expecting me to set him up on dates."
"What? Merlin, that boy needs help!" Her friend laughed, patting the Gryffindor's arm. "You'll have to tell me more about that later, I think I know some interested candidates," she winked before leaving Lily to go to her own table.
Lily found herself sitting down across from the Slytherin table, warily glancing to see if her former friend was going to deign to join his housemates for lunch.
Yes, she thought once more, this year was already complicated enough to navigate without trying to sort out James Potter's love life.
She blushed slightly as she heard the clamor that customarily announced the four Marauders into the Great Hall. The boys strolled past her, as Remus Lupin pushed the golden brown hair from his face and gave her a little wave.
As a fellow prefect, Lily had quite warmed up to the quiet Marauder. She looked longingly after the close-knit group of friends. She never felt alone among all the young, brilliant witches and wizards at Hogwarts… but after the end of her fifth year, she really missed having a best friend by her side.
She sighed loudly. Maybe it was easier this way. Five years of defending an ungrateful… bigot to everyone else was long enough! She felt emotionally exhausted. Being a teenager was so much work.
She thought of all the drama that her sister would relay of her own schooling experience and smiled at the cliques and frenemies and boys lending their school blazers as a token of their interest. Being a muggle seemed so funny to her now, she realized as she looked down at her soup.
Maybe she could take a quick nap before the rest of her classes. She pushed her bowl away and rose with a smile to the Gryffindors sitting across from her. Someone further down the table was watching as well though.
"Oy, Evans! Any luck finding me a date yet?" James Potter called after her. She could just imagine him smiling to his friends like an idiot.
She noted that the rest of the conversations in the Great Hall had not slowed down and she forced herself to look composed as she pushed towards her dormitory. She definitely needed a nap.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"What's this about, Prongs?" Remus asked, looking sympathetically after the red-headed girl.
"Just another stroke of brilliance on my part, Moony," James said with a self-satisfied smirk. "This is the year that I finally get Lily Evans to go out with me. I know it."
"Oh. Is it already the year we set impossible goals? This is the year that I start stuffing Slytherins into broom closets then!" Peter said proudly, banging his fist on the table for effect, all the while soup dribbled down his face.
"Good one, Wormy!" Sirius said, laughing at his best mate's expense. "I reckon you will have that whole house cowering in their dungeon before Prongsy, here, so much as gets a snog from Evans."
James ran a hand through his messy hair, trying to keep his grin in place. "Yeah, yeah… you're all rubbish mates, y'know?"
He proceeded to pick at the food before him.
"Idunno though," he told the boys. "I think… Lily Evans hates me with the passion of a thousand suns -"
"Ten thousand," Remus corrected.
"- fine! Ten thousand suns.. On account of always seeing me pick on Snivelly or what-have-you. She has no clue at all what I'm like. So if she can just… let her guard down and, idunno, talk to me.. I think the world would fall into its rightful place, y'know?"
"Aye, that's not conceited at all, mate," Sirius said, patting James on the shoulder hard. "Next, why don't you tell us how you get to marry Evans to bring about Wizarding Peace?"
James snorted at this friend, intent on playing along. "Well, they'll have to stop the fighting for the day, I mean! After all, the Ministry will be declaring it a grand holiday!"
The boys laughed among themselves. This was going to be a great year. They were sure of it.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The following evening, James glowered at the sight of his favorite redhead laughing with Ravenclaw Keeper Benjy Fenwick in the library. The two were often together at Slug-Club events, but he knew Fenwick was seeing someone else.
Still. James Potter did not like the way the girl's face lit up, or the way she leaned forward and touched his arm. Lily's laughter, full of warmth, was a rare and genuine thing that James most definitely coveted.
He had yet to elicit such a free and sweet response himself. And so, he drew in a breath and tried to swagger over, confidently. He bit down on a smile when he sensed that he'd drawn the redheaded girl's attention.
"Potter," Benjy said with a nod, after the Gryffindor captain dropped into a seat across from him.
"Hello, ladies, how's the library keeping you?" he shot back coolly, sending a challenging look to his perceived rival.
Lily shot out an arm to Benjy's shoulder and rolled her eyes. "Please go bother someone else, you nitwit."
James pretended to look around, as if considering his options. "Meh," he shrugged, sitting back in his chair. "Maybe if you lot get boring."
"Is he still harassing you these days then, Lily?" Benjy said, puffing out his chest a bit as he looked fully at the girl.
Lily didn't know why - she never quite knew why this happened - but she felt herself redden.
"He's just - Potter," she settled, rolling her eyes. "Can't help himself, he says."
"That's a rather immature way to go about things, I figure," Benjy said pointedly, not yet taking his eyes off of Lily. "Seems to me a bloke should know when he's not wanted and stop casting stupid jinxes to get a girl's attention."
James opted to lean further in his chair and suck his teeth, instead of reaching for his wand. That's maturity, he thought to himself.
"Seems to me, a bloke should have the guts to tell me what they thought to my face. I mean, I should think you don't need courage to rival a Gryffindor for a simple conversation, but… maybe that's why you couldn't cut it as House captain, Fenwick."
Lily sighed loudly and tried to get him to stop, but he marched on. "By the way, seems to me Ultima Rosier would want word if her boyfriend's chatting up another girl, wouldn't she?"
He watched with mirth, still leaning on the back legs of his chair, as Benjy rolled his eyes and made his excuse to Lily. The girl had turned red again, but this time she knew why: she was furious.
She swung her arm at him, nearly knocking him back. James' Quidditch instincts kicked in and he shifted forward, grasping the hand that was meant to smack him.
"What'd you do that for?" she said, trying to pry her hand away. "We're just mates!"
"You'd be mates with an idiot but you won't be mates with me?"
Lily continued trying to squirm out of his grip. She wanted to cover her face and scream just then.
"Benjy Fenwick is a Ravenclaw that is brilliant enough to have been offered a prefect position. And you should know he made a responsible decision to step down as Quidditch Captain after year four because he just had too much going on to put the team first!"
James felt his pride melt at her description of the boy. So what? I'm as gifted as Dragonbreath Fenwick.
He tried another approach, clasping her hand in both of his: "Evans, I get that he's nice to you, but why do you give him the time of day when he's dating one of Slytherin's princesses? If he's snogging someone that is so clearly steeped in pureblood mania, how is he any better?"
He knew it worked because she stopped fighting his hold on her hand. He stared at her intently as she considered his point.
"It's.. not that easy, Potter," she said darkly. "I can't just avoid every witch and wizard that is less than… five degrees of separation away from a pureblood family."
James twisted his face a little, disappointed in her. "You need better standards for friendship, Evans. If you snog a Death Eater, you're, you know, letting them know that Death Eaters get snogged."
Pleased with himself, he finally relinquished her soft hand and leaned back in his chair. Lily proceeded to bury her face in her hands.
"I don't know that Ultima believes in all that, don't see a lot of Slytherin girls sneaking around whispering of magical cleansings," she mumbled, trying not to shudder at the thought.
James shrugged. "Her cousin Bellatrix does. A lot. That bird is madder for Voldemort than her own boyfriend. Though I hear he fancies him quite a bit as well," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Lily, to his great disappointment, did not laugh her effortless laugh. She just scrunched her brow together and looked away from him.
James thought maybe he should apologize. He ran a hand through his dark mop of hair. What was he even sorry for? Telling her the truth? Rosiers were top dark wizard sympathisers and Fenwick was actually worse than him at Quidditch.
Before he could think of something, she asked him why he was still here. Why, indeed?
"Just.. thought I'd come over and try to make you laugh," he said simply. Lily did not glance his way, but he continued to fix his face into a look that he hoped looked earnest and irresistible.
"Well, thanks for the reminder that I'm hated by a quarter of the student population and only just tolerated by most," she said, her voice hitching a bit.
Oh, no. He hadn't meant that.
His heart was in freefall as he detected the notes of distress in her voice.
"No - Oy, no one hates you! You're… You're bloody Lily Evans! You'll probably be Head Girl next year!" he said, trying to catch her emerald eyes as she shook her head. "No, Lil- Listen, Evans! I just… mean that there're a lot of sodding idiots who are leaning toward the wrong side of the war! Obviously Fenwick and every other friend you've got is drawn to you and thinks highly of you… super platonically, most like!" he added swiftly.
Lily just put her chin on her hands and waited for him to leave. He didn't budge. Eventually, she just sighed - letting out a big breath as if to blow away all the insanity before her.
"Why does being magic have to be harder than actually doing magic?" she asked, mostly to herself.
James, who was smart in his own right and had fancied that he'd make a better Ravenclaw than ol' Slytherin-snogging Benjy, knew enough to stay silent.
Something in his stomach twitched as he looked at the small, brave smile on the girl's face. This is the longest conversation I've had without getting us both kicked out of the library, he thought in wonder.
"Will you please leave me alone?" she said quietly, trading out the scroll she had been working on with Benjy for her Advanced Charms book.
He didn't even pretend to consider it.
"I'm kinda here to stay," he said, unapologetically.
"Why?" she said, anger flashing through her frustration - her green eyes were on him, shining dangerously.
Because I need you. Because I very well might love you. Because I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go. Because I want to kiss you right now and hold you away from all of the senseless evil in the world.
Instead of telling her the truth, he cleared his throat and tried flat out lying again.
"I already told you - I need to find someone else. Not Sirius! Some other… girl... to dote on, as you continue to refuse to be the focus of my affection," his hands swept out before him dramatically. "Would you, Lily Evans, help a bloke move on with some other bird?"
He thought he saw her lips twitch into a smile.
She sighed. "If you promise to leave me alone," she said, waiting for James to nod, "I will set you up with one of my friends, sure."
James' grin could not be contained. He was in! He was going to be hanging about with Lily Evans. Amicably!
She looked down at a passage in charms and dismissed him with her hand. He shrugged and pulled out his own books, much to her annoyance.
He pretended to re-read a passage of his assignment as he watched the studious girl in her element.
"I still think you'd be best matched with Sirius," she snarled.
[UPDATE coming on Friday. You're welcome.]