Daniel:
It's passed midnight. I've had enough tossing and turning in bed. I give up. I just can't sleep. I've been here, in the future, or wherever and whenever we are, for weeks, though it seems like years. Sometimes I feel lost, confused by the advanced technology and phrases I don't understand. But oddly, I feel right at home. There's no place else I'd rather be; fighting alongside honorable people for the protection of the whole world. I couldn't have asked for a better team.
But I can't sleep.
I can't stop thinking of her. Not just because Daisy is the most beautiful woman I've ever known. She's an amazing agent, brave, intelligent, funny, dedicated to her team and making the Earth a safe place. I have so much respect for her. But also, it's more than that.
I don't know what to do about these feelings, if anything. I've been fighting the urge to make a move, because that's a line I just can't cross. It's unprofessional. But what if she feels the same way? How will I know unless I ask? Is that what men do these days? Ask? What she would expect? Am I supposed to wait for her to initiate anything beyond the team relationship we have?
It's not like I can take her out on a date.
I'm pacing the floors of these dark and quiet hallways in the underground lighthouse base since there's no use lying in bed. I feel anxious, restless. I grab a water bottle and sit on the break room couch to try to sort out my thoughts. I'm not even there 30 seconds when I hear the familiar sound of her voice.
"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" Daisy smiles as she plops on the couch across from me with a smile.
"No. You?"
"Me? I'm just sleepwalking. I won't remember this in the morning." She replies with no trace of a smile.
I have no idea if she's joking.
"Are you serious?"
Her stoic expression breaks and a smile stretches to her cheeks and she laughs at my gullibility.
"No, of course not. I just have a lot on my mind," she replies picking imaginary lint off of her black, standard issue pajama bottoms.
"Me too." Is it possible we are both thinking of each other and it has led us here? Is this a sign from the universe that we were meant to be? Should I take this chance right here and now? I look her in the eyes to see if my answers might lie there.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She seems genuinely willing to listen to me talk about whatever keeps me up at night. Does she know it's her?
"Sure. If anyone can help me, it's you, Daisy." I say her name deliberately, softly. "I'm at a crossroad of sorts, it seems. I've been thinking about what it means for me to be here, in this timeline...what I'm supposed to learn...what my future looks like. Who I want in it. Where I want to be."
"You're not thinking of leaving S.H.I.E.L.D. are you?" She looks momentarily concerned.
"No. I like it here. I like the people. I want to stop the Chronicoms, whenever we figure out how. I know I don't fit in exactly, but I'm trying. I don't want to leave." Ever.
"Good, I'm glad." She seems relieved, but there's an awkward pause that goes on for too long as I'm debating how much to tell her. I take the coward's way out.
"What about you? What's got you up walking around at night?" I inquire sincerely as I set my water bottle down on the table and lean forward.
"Oh, um. It's nothing really. I was just...thinking about the same things actually. It seems like there's always a problem to solve, which is great because I like my job and I get to help...not that I want there to be horrible problems in the world just so I have a job, it's just that...because there is, I get to train and be better and I don't really know what the future holds or what it will look like or whatever..."
She is rambling and becoming aware of that fact quickly so she just stopped mid sentence and stood up promptly.
"Um, thanks Agent Sousa, I feel better now. Good talk. I'll see you in the morning."
"It's technically morning." I state matter of factly. "I wish you would stay. I like talking to you." I try not to sound desperate.
"I like talking to you too." She says. Though she's still standing like she wants to bolt for the door. "A lot." She tacks on. "But it's late and I should get back to bed. Eventually, I'll fall asleep, right?" She laughs awkwardly and walks away before I can stop her.
I sigh a heavy and self-disappointed sigh and drag my palm across my face. I shouldn't have let her go. I need to tell her how I feel. Or show her. I have to DO something. Keeping all this bottled up inside is no good. I try to get the words perfect in my head, but I can still feel her here, the scent of her coconut shampoo lingers. I may end up looking like a fool, but I know she's awake and I know where she is and I'm heading straight there before I can talk myself out of what I'm about to do.
