Chapter 2: A Clash of Ideals
"It's you again."
"I'm a member of this club, remember?"
This little exchange marked my arrival at the storage room that was being used as the Service Club's headquarters. For reference, this was my second day at the club, including the day I joined. The thing with most student clubs is that teachers prefer a hands-off approach, meaning they aren't really present in the clubrooms most of the time, and only arrive if needed. So, the person I'd joined up to help wasn't even around, leaving me in the company of the only other member of this club.
Yukinoshita Yukino. I knew her name because we'd both introduced ourselves the day before. I'd seen her before, of course. Once. She was in the car that had almost been involved in an accident right in front of my eyes. She wasn't the one driving though. Honestly, it wasn't even the chauffeur's fault. If anything, the dog's master should have been careful. But, hey. All's well that ends well. No one got hurt. Happy ending for all.
But coming back to the matter at hand, that was all I knew about Yukinoshita. I'd heard in passing that she was some kind of super over-achiever. Top of the class in a section full of over-achievers. That kind of thing didn't really mean anything to me, though. So far, my interactions with her were next to non-existent.
Well, whatever. I didn't particularly care either way. I was here to help Sensei. Putting up with the other member shouldn't be that hard. Besides, it made no difference if I was reading manga here, or at home. With this in mind, I withdrew from my bag a holy tome: a volume of Jojo's part III, otherwise known as Stardust Crusaders, and began to read. I wondered at first if Miss Overachiever would have anything to say about that, but she didn't. Time continued to pass, and I got engrossed in the story. Dio was dropping road rollers and stuff, and Jotaro was punching things. Good times, good times. However, all things must come to an end, and before long, I was done reading. Taking a look at my phone revealed that an hour had passed, meaning we still had an hour of club time to go. At this point, I could take out my art supplies and just draw, but I felt the need to move around a bit. Standing up, I walked over to the window and looked out. Down below, most of the outdoor sports clubs were still at work, showing that Soubu was still very much active.
"So does nothing ever happen here?" I asked my fellow member, not really sure if I'd get a response.
She replied by closing the book she was reading (with a bit of an overly showy gesture if you ask me), and closing her eyes, before finally turning towards me.
"What do you think the goal of this club is?"
Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Did she really just try that with me?
"I'll take that as a 'no', then," I said, before turning away.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her frowning slightly.
Hey, reader, you want a Jojo's reference?
One of the things I, Hikigaya Hachiman, enjoy the most, is putting people with an overly high opinion of themselves right back in their place.
In other words, I loved frustrating uppity folks who took themselves too seriously.
But I couldn't really spend an entire hour just bantering with her.
No sooner had I thought this than Yukinoshita immediately rose to the challenge.
"Hmph. As expected. The infamous lowlife of Soubu High is as rude as the rumours say."
"There are rumours about me now? What do they say?"
I was honestly curious now. My interactions with other students were, let's just say, limited.
Yukinoshita's face assumed a look of slight disgust, somewhat similar to what one has when one sees a bug on their windshield.
"Many things. None flattering."
"You're going to need to be more specific."
"That you're an individual with no tact or respect, and no ability to read the situation. Also that you're unpleasant."
Hmm. Was there a basis to these evaluations of me?
Well, there might be. I didn't really respect most of the students here. I certainly didn't play by their rules. And I didn't really give a fuck about their "situations". Also, like I said, I love being rude to rude people.
Put all of that together, and I can sort of see why a lot of people would think I'm an asshole.
But that doesn't matter. Right here and now, I could sense an interesting conversation in the works.
"Who, me?" I said, putting on a voice of mock surprise. "Impossible. I'm polite to a fault, and an overall nice guy."
"Your definition of 'politeness' needs some work, Lowlife kun."
"Maybe. But my definition of 'frigid' is spot on."
Slight widening of the eyes, before they narrow. Nostrils flared. Brows contracted into a 'V'. Ah yes, she's nice and angry now. To her credit, she instantly buries her initial reaction, and gives me what I'm sure she thinks is a withering glare.
To be honest, it might have worked, if I hadn't broken through her shell of indifference a couple of times already. Yukinoshita was a bit of a tricky opponent: she was good at a lot of things, and being good at things brought confidence.
But I could see right through that.
Hedonist tip #5: If someone looks down on others, it's not because they're good at something. It's because they're insecure.
So as confident and aloof as Yukinoshita appeared to be, her strength was only skin deep. The core of Yukinoshita Yukino was weak, making her easy to ruffle if I knew what to say.
Which again, I did. If she had to announce it any clearer, she'd have to write it on her face. Now I could tell you how I deduced that… but this is a Hikigaya Hachiman story, not a Sherlock Holmes one.
Hedonist tip #2: Make sure you're the protagonist of your own life.
But be all that as it may, this was turning out to be far too easy. If I pushed any further, this situation would devolve into an outright mudslinging battle, an ugly spat. And that's really no fun. Honestly, in a different world, a more tolerant, hesitant me would have made an ideal companion for her. The perfect sadist and the resigned masochist.
I shuddered.
Pushing the thought out of my mind, I decided to change subjects.
"How many requests have the Club had so far?" I asked.
Yukinoshita didn't miss a beat. Ever to the point, she had already put the little exchange behind her, and had her neutral face on.
"None," she answered shortly.
"How long has the Club existed?"
"... A week."
This time I was the one surprised.
She'd been coming up here and sitting alone in this room, waiting for a request despite not getting any, for a week?
That was some dedication.
I could respect that.
But I could also see why the Club hadn't really done anything yet.
"We don't have any advertising," I said. "Up until yesterday, I didn't even know this Club existed. Now I'm not the most up-to-date guy when it comes to school happenings, but I'm pretty sure most people here still don't know it exists. If a Club wants people to come to it, it needs to get the word out."
Yukinoshita looked mildly surprised that I had said something she could agree with.
"Oho. You have a point, Lowlife kun-"
"That name's going to be a thing, isn't it?"
"Ahem. As I was saying, you have a point, Lowlife kun. But how do you propose we spread the word?"
"Well…" I scratched my head. "Let's see… the existence of most sports clubs is obvious, since the facilities are out there on the grounds, and the teams practice everyday for the whole school to see. With the large cultural clubs, like Drama, they have enthusiastic members who go advertise from class to class. Oh yeah, and then there are teachers who might recommend students to clubs they oversee."
That last one was how I got recruited. We weren't trying to recruit here, but the methods would remain the same… normally.
I couldn't really see the Service Club being as glamorous an option as say, the Football Club.
Which meant, our best option was…
"Word of mouth," I said.
Yukinoshita gave me a deadpan stare, and I realised that my answer had been a general descriptor.
I decided to elaborate.
"We can't rely on aggressive advertising. The Service Club isn't that attractive an option, and our goal at the moment isn't to recruit members. People come here to have their problems solved, right? That means, the best way to get people to come here is for others they know to tell them that they got their problems solved here. Hey, did you know, a Service Club exists, and they can get the job done. That will make people keep us in mind. So next time they're in trouble, or someone they know is, they'll come to us."
"Hmm. I would normally say that's a surprisingly good solution, except for one fact. We haven't had a single successful mission yet."
Yes, that's what it all came down to. That elusive first job.
But how were we to do that?
Short of actively seeking out people with a problem, I didn't have a clue.
"Why does this Club even exist, anyway?" I wondered aloud.
I mean, sure, I sort of knew the reason why.
Sensei was one of those people who genuinely wanted to help others. This Club was probably her brainchild.
Why was Yukinoshita here though? Surely Sensei hadn't strong armed her into joining.
"Why are you even here?" I asked. "Surely the so-called pinnacle of Soubu High could have joined any Club she wanted. One where you'd actually get to push your skills to the limit."
Yukinoshita looked at me for a moment.
"Your words betray how basic your thoughts are. Why do you assume that the only reason I'd do anything would be to benefit myself?"
"What other reasons are there? Everybody does things because there's something to gain from it."
Her face now regained the look of disgust it had had moments ago.
"Certainly, I can see that some people only do things for gain."
"Hey, I'll be the first to admit that I do things because of what I can get out of them. But you… I still can't figure out why you'd join this Club."
With an air of one who knew they had the moral high ground, Yukinoshita raised her head.
"I joined the Service Club because I believe it's my duty to help others. Such is the burden of the superior. Noblesse oblige, as it is called."
I stared in shock, and my jaw dropped open in awe.
I stuttered to speak, as I struggled to fully absorb her answer.
"That's… that's…"
Her lip began to curl, probably into a smile.
"... the biggest load of horse shit I've ever heard", I finished.
I chortled and tried to contain my laughter.
"Noblesse oblige? Hahahaha… rich!"
I looked at her, to see her face darkened with anger. Gone was any levity in her expression.
"Holy shit, you were actually serious," I said.
This was incredible. I'd already spotted the contradictions between her words and nature, but I won't point them out for now. Bonus points for the observant readers who've also noticed, but try to keep it a secret for now, huh? Don't spoil the reveal I'm saving up for the endgame.
But for the moment, I decided to play along.
"All right, so noblesse oblige then. Helping others. How exactly do you plan to do that?"
"I don't believe in giving a starving man fish. I believe in teaching him how to fish."
I nodded. That much made sense to me.
"What about people who aren't hungry though? What about people who're just… unhappy?"
Japan is a pretty developed nation. And Soubu is a school of the economically comfortable and academically decent, if not the affluent and the elite. In other words, every request the Service Club would ever deal with would most likely be a first world problem.
I wanted to know how Yukinoshita would deal with an issue that wasn't so easy to pinpoint and isolate.
You can be well-fed, clothed, sheltered, have a good income or grades, a family, and a social circle… and still be unhappy.
And I'm not even getting started on the many, many students at Soubu High who don't even have every one of those variables in their favour.
"Unhappiness stems from living a life different from the one you wish to lead," said Yukinoshita. "And in such cases, the reason is, more often than not, that the person simply does not do what they need to in order to change their life. One changes oneself, and in doing so, one changes their world, and their life. The Service Club is my opportunity to do exactly that: to change the world, through excellence."
Idealistic.
And in some ways, even practical.
But she had missed the point entirely.
"Unhappiness, or by the same token, happiness, has nothing to do with excellence," I said. "Unhappiness is simply the result of a disbalance between expectations and reality. You don't think many people are unhappy though they are experts in their fields? Have you not heard of Robin Williams? Chester Bennington? Chris Cornell?"
"Clinical depression cannot be used to generalise the actions of all individuals-"
"Granted. Then take a look at the people of Japan. Take a good look at the people in your class. The students you see out on the streets. The professionals and businessmen you see and read about. Heck, if you think an unhealthy lifestyle is a factor, then take a look at professional athletes. Now tell me: do they look happy to you?"
Yukinoshita began to speak, but the words caught in her throat.
"They- you are using rhetoric to make a point. This can hardly be called ethical-"
I shrugged.
She was right.
I could have pointed out the rising rates of depression and suicide around the world. I might even have pointed out the declining birth rates in Japan. Note to self: it's because of all that NTR hentai. Dads are afraid of having sons because they think they might be cucked by them. SMH, the world needs better smut.
But anyway. Numbers and figures weren't what I wanted to use here. I knew I was right, because I'd lived that way once.
If the world rejected me, it must be because I wasn't doing something right. So I'd tried to change myself to fit the world's standards. I'd done everything… and I'd still failed.
So I didn't think that changing to fit in was useless.
I knew that changing to fit in was useless.
That's not to say that Yukinoshita was suggesting one should "fit in". Not in the typical way at least. She wasn't saying one should accept mediocrity, and just follow the tide of others' opinions in order to be accepted by then.
No, she was saying that one could get rid of one's unhappiness by pursuing and achieving excellence.
But then, who decided what "excellence" was?
Ding ding ding, you guessed right.
Society.
Yukinoshita wasn't the average kind of fit-inner.
She was the worst kind of fit-inner.
The kind that believed in the idea of "duty for society" and the "greater good".
Even if you took altruism and sacrifice out of the equation, and only took the parts of her solution that suggested improving oneself, you still wouldn't be happy.
Because you still wouldn't even have looked at the real reason for your unhappiness, instead going with the initial idea you came with: that you were dissatisfied.
Maybe because you thought your house was small. Or because you didn't have a car. Because your job sucked. Or because that girl you liked was actually interested in the class jock. Or because you're on the track team, but you're always the back up, just not good enough to be the starter.
These all seem like logical reasons, right?
Wrong.
None of these would be the reason.
If you were to work hard, earn more money, or become a better athlete, or become more charming, then you'd be able to fix those issues right? At least, there's a chance you would. Let's say you succeeded.
If you were to get a bigger house, you'd want an even bigger one than that.
If you got promoted to manager, you'd start comparing yourself to the post just above that.
If you managed to get that girl to go out with you, you'd be paranoid about losing her affections to someone else.
If you managed to be the starting track athlete, you'd then be nervous about that star runner from the neighbouring school, who's been beating your school for the last two years.
You ask yourself… when does the rat race end?
It's not a race.
It's a maze.
And when you reach the cheese, that trap's about to come down on you.
You see what the real problem is?
Anxiety. Fear. Insecurity. Loneliness.
You were a good enough athlete to begin with. That's how you got on the team, right?
You had a job. Enough money to eat and have a roof over your head. Isn't that enough?
Your house was big enough for a clean, comfortable life.
And as for that girl… it's obvious she never liked you. Did she really earn your affections?
And that was why… Yukinoshita was wrong.
I realized that I had gotten excited.
A minute had passed and no words had been exchanged, as I'd been caught up in my thoughts.
"It doesn't matter. The proof will be evident, if we ever get a request," I said aloud.
Yukinoshita treated my admittedly vague statement with wariness, but decided to ask a question of her own.
"And you, Hikigaya?"
It did not escape my notice that she had used my proper name this time.
"Why are you here?" she asked.
For a moment, I was about to say that I was there to have fun.
That was true, of course. It generally was.
But as I've explained before, even if my ultimate goal behind doing something might be to have fun, sometimes the activity itself was not so pleasurable.
So, no, I wasn't really in the Service Club to enjoy myself.
"To pay back a debt," I answered shortly.
Yukinoshita looked puzzled at that, but I wasn't going to say anything more on the subject.
As we faded back into silence, I wondered.
Was that the only reason I was there?
To pay back Hiratsuka Sensei for always being a good teacher? For being genuinely concerned about me? For being kind?
Was it to help her out? For the pleasure of being able to do something for someone I actually admired?
Or did it have something to do with that ridiculous fantasy that may or may not have been associated with the phrase "hot for teacher"?
I shook my head. I didn't have an answer yet.
Well, that's okay. For now, I'll just see where this leads. It hasn't been as boring as I thought it'd be.
At that moment, the person I'd just been thinking about chose to make her appearance.
Sliding the door all the way open, and striking a pose that would have had Jolyne asking for pointers, she put on her best imitation voice, and said, "I AM HERE!"
I applauded.
"Well done, Sensei. I rate 9 out of 10."
"Hah! I won't be outdone by you, Hikigaya!"
"Sensei, please knock before you enter."
"You can't do a dynamic entry if you knock beforehand," I objected. Raising my hand, I turned to Sensei. "Requesting permission to enter via flying kick next time."
Hiratsuka looked torn between the two options.
I could see how badly she wanted to approve, just so that she could do it herself.
But ultimately…
"Denied," she said, sadly.
I sighed. It had been worth a try.
Yukinoshita was shaking her head in exasperation.
Sensei probably took that as her cue to get to the point before she found herself down to one member again.
"So. How have the two of you been getting along?" she asked.
"He's despicable."
"She's full of it."
We ended up answering at the same time. At this point, I was so used to this cliche, I didn't even acknowledge it.
Sensei blinked.
"Really? I mean, I wasn't expecting the two of you to be friends or anything, but isn't that a bit much?"
"Sensei, you should not have let this lowlife into the Club."
"Sensei, even the people who turn up will leave if they talk to her."
"Uhh…" Hiratsuka looked like she was trying to decide how to deal with the situation. "Is there a reason behind this disagreement?"
"Call it a difference of opinion," I said.
"On that, at least, we can agree," said Yukinoshita.
"Elaborate, please."
"Someone who only does things because of what they might gain out of it can never help others."
"Someone who doesn't even understand the reason behind unhappiness can't help anyone."
I turned to face Yukinoshita, and we ended up glaring at each other.
"All right, all right, stop. Sheesh. You guys just can't get over this, can you? Hmm.. maybe if we try it a different way. All right… how about this, then? If you can't work using the same methods, why don't we see whose methods are better?"
"Hmm… interesting," I admitted.
"Right?" said Sensei. "According to the traditions of Shounen Jump, we'll be settling this with a good old fashioned competition. Each of you will try to help the people who come here in your own way. The goal will be to satisfy them. As for whose methods were more effective… I will be the judge!"
"Not bad… not bad at all," I said.
"Interesting proposition," said Yukinoshita.
We locked glares again.
"You're on!"