A/N: As promised, this is the beginning of part two for "Backsliding." I hope you all enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE

(JPOV)

Twenty-Four Days...

Thirty-Eight Days...

Fifty-Two Days...

I stood on dads porch, looking ahead at the freshly fallen snow, it's light coating barely being enough to cover the colorful leaves underneath on the forest floor. The house was full of people just behind me, but I felt utterly alone without Bella. The last seven weeks had been hell. Sam and I had mapped out every angle of our approach to Volterra, holding meetings and rallying the numbers we desperately needed for an attack of that size, but every plan had the same dead fucking end as the last one did. After the fourth and last failed attempt, Sam had hung his head and asked for a few days to regroup before coming up with another route to execute. The situation seemed damn impossible without us losing some, if not most, of our own. That was a risk neither one of us were willing to take and I'd lost all fucking patience with the wait and see approach a long time ago. I didn't want to lead us into a bloodbath, a massacre that would ruin our lands and our families who were left behind, but I had to get her back. One way or another. With all of them at my side, or on my own. I could feel the wolf trying to be set free almost every hour I was awake and I was beginning to think that I should cut my ties with the others and follow that instinct alone. That I'd be better off in doing so.

Sam wasn't a fool. He had me under watch lately because he knew how fucking desperate I was becoming. The last time I'd set out on my own, I had barely made it out of Washington before Seth and Paul caught up with me and demanded that they go along. I was damn tempted to let them and keep going, but one long look at Seth made me think of Sue and how truly devastated she would be if her boy didn't come back from this. I wouldn't be able to look her in the face again, knowing I could have stopped him from going in the first place. Against everything in me, I went back to the Reservation with them as angry as I'd ever been and spent the evening drawing up a new plan of action. One that didn't include anyone.

I'd be flying solo. That's the way I wanted it and the only way I could ensure the rest of the packs safety.

"There you are! What are you doing out here all by yourself? Are you heading out already?" Rachel called out from behind me, ripping me away from my thoughts when she approached me with a glass of hot apple cider in her hand. "Thought maybe you'd like some?"

"No thanks. I should be going." I quietly replied.

"It's not even seven yet. Billy and Charlie have been asking where you disappeared to. Come back inside. Please?"

"Rach, I just can't be in there right now." I admitted, finding it hard to talk around the solid lump in my throat. "Hurts too much."

"She's not gone." Rachel softly reminded me, wrapping her arms around my waist in a hug.

"She's not here with me where she belongs either." I hoarsely countered.

"Have you and Sam come up with something else with the elders aid now? Paul said something to me about how having their support could be the key to taking this fight to them?" She hopefully inquired.

"No, every time we try, we hit another roadblock. Another unforeseen factor that could end each one of us once in Volterra." I angrily countered, kicking the snow off my boot and seeing her shrink back some from my harsh tone.

"You don't think you can beat them?"

I met her fearful gaze and swallowed hard, not wanting to lie to her, but hating to fill her with that kind of worry at the same time.

"There's a damn good chance it will be a fucking slaughter if we don't play our cards right. Their powerful."

"So are you." She quipped, looking up at me with such pride. It was the very same way my mother used to look at me when I were a boy. "I think they've stupidly underestimated you and I think their going to pay for it."

I tore my gaze away from her, focusing on the forest straight ahead and trying not to show my reaction to her words. If she had any inkling of what I was planning to do, she'd run to Paul with it and they would all intervene before I had the chance to carry it out. I couldn't have that. Bella's life depended on it and I wouldn't fail her.

"You should go back inside. Cold out here." I suggested, trying to change the direction of this conversation.

"I have you for that little brother." She sighed, pressing herself into me with a shudder.

"I'm so damn glad you stayed, Rach. You have no idea what it means to dad. He's been thrilled these past few months with you here all the time. I don't think I've seen him smile that wide in a long time. It's nice to see the two of you getting closer. He needs that."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I'm just sad that I wasted all that precious time with him before." She sorrowfully replied.

"That's okay. Don't dwell on that. You two can grow in your relationship and make new memories. Better ones even. Promise me you won't take off like the last time? It would crush him, you know?"

"I promise. He needs the both of us, Jacob. I hope you know that."

"I do." I tensely replied, pulling back and glancing down into her unsuspecting face. She was happier than I'd seen her since before mom passed away and Paul was responsible for it. I had him to thank for trying to mend that broken heart of hers after all this time. He'd been slowly piecing it back together. I'd watched him with her since the imprint took hold, and he was always being sure that she was okay. He made her laugh and he reached for her hand whenever they were close enough to touch. The same way I had always done with Bella. His love for her was as real as it was true, and she was starting to figure out just how deep a bond like that could go. She was learning how not to run from what scared her, or pushed her toward something new and unfamiliar, but to stay and face it. To become rooted right where she was. She'd matured a lot since dad's stroke and she had stepped up for him in ways I couldn't right now. I was more than grateful to her for that.

I studied her beautiful features, seeing so much of my mother in every one of them and knowing that deep down, she still carried mom's fire and strength, and it would see her through anything life threw at her down the road.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She nervously asked, meeting my gaze with suspicion clear in her own. I shook my head and released her, knowing that if I didn't, she would soon catch on that something were off with me and the long line of questions would begin.

"No reason. I'm just proud of you is all. I really am."

"Why are you proud of me? I've screwed up in more ways-..."

"Doesn't matter anymore. You showed up when it really counted and you stayed this time. You didn't take off. That means everything." I assured her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I know you're technically older and the big sister and all, but I've always felt it should have been the other way around."

"It kind of is. Due to your size! No one dares to mess with me for that fact alone." She lightly teased with a nudge to my side.

"True." I agreed. "They wouldn't want to."

"Is this about Paul? Are you doubting things between the two of us?"

"No, I think he's right for you. In ways I would've never imagined but you're happy. He makes you happy. I can see that."

"He does." She cautiously replied with a heavy sigh.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Of course not. I'm just not used to it is all. The few guys I dated when I was away from home, well let's just say they were control freaks, and that would be putting it lightly."

I straightened at the timid way she said this, her simple and dismissive shrug, not settling the unease swirling around in my gut.

"Someone I need to pay a visit to?" I tensely hedged.

"No, I took care of it. Don't worry."

"If you say so."

"You would be the first person I'd tell if I were in some kind of trouble." She sincerely stated, as I wrapped a tight arm around her shoulders.

"Good."

"So, you're really okay with me and Paul then?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm happy for you, Rach. I know he'll be good to you and that he'll take care of you."

She paused by the front door, something in my tone seeming to catch her attention as I turned to go.

"Jake, wait." She asked, taking hold of my arm and trying to pull me back up the steps. "You're not leaving early to go somewhere else are you?"

"I told you, it's hard for me to be in there. Seeing everyone so happy is painful and I hate feeling that way. I'm better off on my own for a while. Don't want to spoil the Thanksgiving feast for everyone else."

"You're not, besides, there's still so much food left! Emily has at least half a dozen more pies that haven't even been cut into yet! You didn't eat much at dinner."

"Not hungry." I sighed, pulling my arm out of her hold and refusing to meet her gaze. "Go back in and enjoy the evening. Tell everyone I said goodbye. Will you do that for me?"

She reluctantly nodded in return and slowly opened the house door with a concerned look on her face.

"Don't do something stupid, Jake. I love you and dad loves you. We need you."

I turned without a word to her then and headed for the darkened woods, my destination clear with one returning thought to her innocent plea.

… and I need Bella.

A/N: Thank you for reading and HAPPY THANKSGIVING! :-) Please leave a review with your thoughts.