A/N: Hello wonderful fanfic community! I am back with another story. Please let me know what you think of the premise as this is pretty different than what I usually do. During this pandemic I really got into Pride & Prejudice for the first time and was like wow...these personalities remind me of some of the Plum Characters so this story was born. The story won't strictly follow Pride & Prejudice but the characters should be similar. Most of the background from the Plum novels is the same with differences that will soon become clear. Also, you don't have to know anything about Pride & Prejudice to enjoy this fic. I've put the cast listing for reference but it's not necessary.

Disclaimer: I own none of JE's characters nor Jane Austin's. I'm just using them for my own amusement. I make no profit from this.

Plum & Prejudice

Cast

Elizabeth Bennet is Stephanie Plum

Jane Bennet is Valerie Plum

Mrs. Bennet is Helen Plum

Mr. Bennet is Frank Plum

George Wickham is Joseph Morelli

Charles Bingley is Steven "Ram" Bingley

Caroline Bingley is Caroline Bingley

Charlotte Lucas is Lucille Plum

William Collins is Vincent Plum

Fitzwilliam Darcy is Ricardo Carlos Manoso

Georgiana Darcy is Gigi Manoso

Colonel Fitzwilliam is Lester Santos

Mr. Gardiner is Joe Juniak

Mrs. Gardiner is Jennifer Juniak

Chapter 1:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

I groan and stretch as I wake blearily from sleep. I sigh as my feet bang into the footboard of my childhood bed. I roll over and lay on my back for a second as I keep my eyes closed. I soak in the warmth of the house, the smell of coffee, and homemade cinnamon rolls. I almost laugh as I hear my father and grandmother fighting for the only toilet in the house. Ah, to be home again.

I wipe my eyes and swing my legs off the bed. The soles of my feet slide softly on the worn carpet. I see that it's already nine o'clock. I'm surprised I was able to sleep in this long, especially with all of the noises in the house. I'm wearing my favorite pair of flannel pajamas that have been keeping me warm during this frigid December in New Jersey. I'm six months post-graduation and have been working in Newark at E.E. Martin. I've been utilizing my business degree, and free lingerie is a nice perk. I slowly go to the kitchen to start on coffee and breakfast as I know I won't be getting into the bathroom any time soon.

Valerie is sitting at the counter and shoots me a grin when she sees me. Valerie is two years older than me. She's blonde with blue eyes coming in at 5'5 and very petite. I have an extra two inches on her and maybe ten pounds. My mother and grandmother keep reminding us that we'll only have our quick metabolism for so long before we swell up like balloons. I see she's already finished with half a cup and is mid cinnamon roll. My eyes narrow as I sweep the kitchen.

"Where's our dear mother?" I ask only with a little bit of snark. I love my mother, I do. She just gets flustered very quickly and is always making a fuss about every little thing. Also, don't get me started on how much she reads into what the neighbors think or say about her.

"She popped out to Giovanni's muttering something about the perfect ham for Christmas Eve," Valerie says with a shrug as she takes another bite of her cinnamon roll. Valerie has always been dainty to my more awkward appearance. She's more mellow, where I'm more outspoken. She's always been sure of herself and known precisely what she's wanted. She's been teaching kindergarteners for two years already. She lives up to the 'Saint Valerie' name earned all through our childhood. I pour myself a cup of my morning brew and doctor it the way I like before putting a cinnamon roll on a plate and nuking it for a few seconds. The moment I take my first sip of coffee, I feel the caffeine hitting my blood. I close my eyes and savor the taste. Val laughs.

"You need help, Steph," she giggles, "you're addicted, really. It's not healthy." I quirk an eyebrow that ends up with both of my brows raised at her. My eyebrow attempt only makes her laugh more. I've never mastered the one arch brow. I settle for narrowing my eyes.

"So I need coffee to get through my day...and?" I take my breakfast to the seat next to her before I dig in. One thing about being home is homemade food. Honestly, I'm not sure how my dad doesn't weigh over 400lbs by this point. My mom's cooking is the best part of being home, but don't tell her I said that. Val and I eat in silence for a few moments before we're both startled by the front door opening and slamming shut.

"Girls? Girls?!" my mom shouts as she rustles and hustles into the kitchen with several grocery bags in her arms. She plops her purchased goods on the counter and pushes back a flyaway hair from her face. Her cheeks are rosy from the cold, and her eyes are glinting like she just got the juiciest bit of gossip.

My parents and sister live in Chambersburg, a borough of Trenton, New Jersey. I left for college and haven't returned to live in the place I grew up. It's a small town, and nosy neighbors are what keeps the wheel turning. The gossip is probably part (okay, most) of the reason I enjoy living in Newark. Val and I share a look before turning patiently back to our mom.

"Did you get the ham for tonight?" Valerie asks innocently. My mother claps before shrugging out of her winter coat.

"Better!" she exclaims as she starts to sort her groceries, "I was just at Giovanni's, and you'll never guess who I ran into!"

"Who?" I ask to keep her story going. She loves dragging these out.

"Mrs. Steiger at the market, and she told me that Steven Bingley is back in town!" she claps again and shoots Val a meaningful look. Valerie blushes and looks down at her plate. I internally roll my eyes to avoid the lecture from Mom. Steve and Val were inseparable in high school, and both of our families expected them to get married.

Unfortunately, 9/11 happened during their senior year of high school, and Steve decided to enlist after graduation. He broke it off with Valerie because he didn't want her waiting for him if something happened. It looks like he survived. Val was heartbroken and hadn't had a serious relationship since then. I shoot Mom a look, which she ignores.

"Apparently, he's out of the Army and starting up a security business with some men he worked with right here in Trenton! Also, he's still single!" My mom's voice is getting progressively higher and higher pitched as she ends the sentence with a clap of her hands.

"Ellen, for goodness sake! What is all this talk about?" my dad asks as he strolls into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. "That boy broke our daughter's heart." Val looks up.

"Mom, Dad, that was so long ago. Steve means nothing to me now. I could walk past him and not feel anything in the slightest," Val replies, seemingly very poised. I see mom pausing to consider this before ignoring it altogether.

"Well, they're having an after Christmas community ball fundraiser," she states excitedly, "it's the perfect opportunity to find husbands!" My dad clears his throat and raises an eyebrow.

"We don't need husbands," I retort as I stab my cinnamon roll and shove the rest of it in my mouth.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum! Who will take care of you and support you when you have children? Do you know what you do to my nerves?" This time I can't help myself from rolling my eyes.

"Keep doing that, and your eyes will get stuck that way, young lady," my mother says quickly in response.

"Well, Ellen, I'm doing mighty fine on my own!" Grandma Mazur chooses this time to make herself known, "though I do miss Harry, god rest his soul."

I've always had a special bond with Grandma Mazur. Sadly, she's been living with my parents for the last year since Grandpa Mazur went to the big pork roast in the sky. She always seemed to understand me, and her house was my solace growing up. My mother didn't quite get me. Grandma would give me space, let me get lost in a world of books, and always had a chocolate chip cookie ready for me. I was continuously reading, climbing trees, and doing things my mom didn't consider lady-like. I've always believed in marrying for love, which rubbed my mother the wrong way when 'golden boy' Richard Orr proposed to me during my second year of college. Thankfully, my father has always been my biggest supporter and had my back when I refused that proposal.

"Well, Mother, you had a beautiful life with Daddy! My girls are going to grow old alone if they don't find suitable young men soon," my mom says as she puts the last of the groceries away and stuffs the plastic bags into a cloth bag hanging in the cabinet under the sink. Grandma winks at us.

"There's a lot you didn't know about Harry and me, Ellen. Like the fact that we were in love and my mother disapproved. Anyway, I'm headed to the Senior Center for some Christmas Eve BINGO and carols. Maybe even find me a hot date for Mass." My mother makes the sign of the cross. My father mutters something about moving out under his breath. Val giggles, but I can tell she's still shaken up about the news on Steve.

"I also heard that Steven is in business with men who served together. Stephanie, one of them could be perfect for you!" she says, starting to season the ham, "the charity ball is the perfect opportunity for you both!" Val and I shoot each other's looks.

I discreetly text my best friend, Mary Lou. She seems excited about the ball even though she's been married for two years and has her first baby on the way. Tina is also excited. Tina is another good friend from high school, who is also still single. Then even Lucille texts me. Lucille is my cousin Vinnie's wife. I was always disappointed in the pairing as my cousin is a real slimeball. Lucille and Vinnie dated in high school when they got into a bad car wreck. Lucille was hurt pretty badly, leaving her with a limp for the rest of her life. Her father, Harry the Hammer, was pissed and basically forced Vinnie into marrying her. Lucille confessed to me one night in tears that she didn't really love Vinnie but didn't feel like she had any other options for marriage. She thought she'd never find a husband to "take care of her" if she didn't stick with Vinnie. I find the thought abhorrent as my belief is it should always be for love, but they seem content.

By 11:30, Val and I have finished breakfast and dressed for the day. We have tentative plans to get together the day after Christmas with the girls to go shopping for outfits for the ball later that night. Mary Lou and Lucille will be the only two of us going with dates. My mother is ecstatic and believes this will be the event that will get me, and Valerie married off.