1. Soul-Insert

Harry Potter was a weird 12-year-old kid, who in 2 years of schooling had faced dangers that fully grown wizards have not. And he had a habit of getting into weird and unbelievable situations.

But I never expected to be dumped into the body of the Boy-Who-Lived. I was a non-thrill seeking creature of habit, who enjoyed peace and hated confrontation.

But alas! I was dumped here and I had to only look at myself in the mirror to see the truth staring back at me.

I was a scrawny kid, with knobby knees and bright green eyes hidden behind spellotaped glasses. When I gazed at the mirror in my bedroom at the Dursley house, I saw a 12-year-old kid instead of the 30-year-old. I had pale skin instead of the warm caramel denoting my sub continental ancestry. I was short and malnourished. I immediately removed my t-shirt and checked for any scars.

From what I gathered reading the books, the Dursleys were neglectful cunts but not physically abusive. And the same seemed to be true here, as I could not find any scars from a beating or anything. There were minor scrapes from fighting the basilisk and the predominant scars were the ones on my forehead and the one on my arm where the fang had pierced.

I was locked in the room with Cat flaps and that suited me just fine for the moment. As it allowed me to freak out and panic without being in anyone's presence.

After my freak out, I cried for a day straight for my lost parents. I mean my parents who were alive and well not Harry's. I would never see them again. I had no idea how I was transported here, who did it? How it happened? And why?

I needed time to grieve and come to terms with my situation and then I needed to move on. I was not in the body of an unimportant character, nor an OC. I was unwillingly and perilously ensconced within the body of the savior of the British Isles, past and future. I knew the kid was brave, extremely loyal and quick on his feet, but was no Dumbledore. And I couldn't really fault him. He was an average jock with lot of responsibility on his shoulders and a conditioning to always fly under the radar. He was never trained to be Voldemort's equal.

A lot of speculation on the HP fanfiction forums were how Dumbledore was a meddlesome fool and never trained Harry. But in my perspective, Dumbledore honed Harry's strong points. I knew the first-year obstacle course was to inculcate a sense of bravery and critical thinking in stressful situations. The CoS was not, it was Harry's own saving people thing that moved him to confront Tom Riddle in the CoS.

Third year onwards, he was allowed to test himself against increasing danger to improve his mettle. He was never going to be the next Albus Dumbledore, Gellert Grindelwald or Voldemort. He had a very specific set of skills which was honed to a razor-sharp edge which allowed him to defeat Voldemort. Without Dumbledore's manipulations Harry Potter would have died sooner and with no chance of victory. Every move was calculated with several fail safes to protect Harry and to chip away at Voldemort.

I was not Harry Potter. I did not jump into situations hoping to think on the fly and emerge gloriously victorious on the other side. I was problem solver and a rigorous planner.

First things first, I have to think of a way to solve my health issues. I need to eat properly and put on some weight. I did not plan to go the summer, surviving on scraps of food served up the Dursleys. I needed proper nutrition and to see if there were any inoculations that were missed.

First for the food, I thought of doing what Harry did in his third year and send a request out to Ron and Hermione for food. But it was just the 2nd day of vacation and I still had months to go before the start of third year. And I cannot depend on parcels for an entire summer. If my calculations were correct Marge would visit sometime into the future. If I kept the timeline straight, I could leave and have some freedom to roam the wizarding world. In the HP verse we only saw a few shops were described. I wanted to explore and find out more about the wizarding world. Every Potterhead's dream was not about slaying Basilisks or winning the Triwizard tournament or defeating Voldemort, it was always about exploring the wonderful world of Wizarding Britain and its counterparts.

And I had the perfect opportunity, first the food situation. And I smacked myself, how could I forget about Dobby, I had just freed him and he was probably looking for a job.

"Dobby" I spoke clearly.

And with a popping sound, there stood the house elf, who had bravely sacrificed himself to save him and his friends.

"The great and wonderful Harry Potter sir has called Dobby, what is he needing Dobby for? Dobby can help with anything Great Harry Potter Sir!"

"Calm down Dobby, how are you enjoying your freedom?"

Dobby's ears perked up before flattening against his head sadly before saying,

"I is very happy to leave the bad masters service Great Harry Potter sir, but no one is taking Dobby in because, I is asking for pay!"

"Do you want to work for me-"And with a great leap, Dobby was hugging me around my waist and speaking rapidly

"Yes yes yes, The great and wonderful Harry Potter Sir, Dobby would love to work for you"

"Great, then about your salary, it would be a galleon a month and Sundays will be off"

Dobby however shook his head and said "1 sickle a month and 1 day off is enough for Dobby"

We haggled, but I could not change Dobby's mind,

"Ok Dobby, but we will review your work at the end of every year and we will raise your salary based on your performance."

"Dobby accepts"

"So, is there a need to bond Dobby?"

"Yes, great and wonderful Harry Potter sir, you need to give me clothes this will signify the beginning of our bond."

Harry rummaged around his wardrobe and found a shirt from his primary school years which was in good condition and gave it to Dobby

"Take this, and before you agree to the bond, this are some of the rules that you will follow, ok Dobby.

No punishing yourself without my permission.

Use your magic to defend yourself in a dangerous situation.

Call me Harry or Master Harry. "

Spoke Harry clearly and Dobby nodded.

"So, what can you do as part of your duties, Dobby?"

"Dobby can cook, clean, garden and do any household chore Master Harry sir"

"Can you buy things for me Dobby?"

"Yes, Master Harry Sir but house elves are not permitted to buy wizarding artifacts for their masters, only wizards can"

"So, you can't buy trunks, wands and such items, right?

"Yes Sir, but Dobby can buy meat, flour and other groceries for cooking sir, but where do I cook sir?"

Harry thought about it and thought about Newt Scamander's trunk.

"Dobby, are there any trunk shops that sell trunk with huge interiors like rooms inside a trunk"

"No sir, those kinds of trunks are usually owned by old families or you need to ask for such a trunk to be made Harry Potter Sir."

"Ok Dobby, first thing tomorrow morning, we will be going to Gringotts and then to a trunk enchanter"

"Ok Harry Potter Sir" Dobby vigorously nodded.

Notes: This is a self insert fic, this is wish fulfillment, yes but also what a potter fan would do when dropped into the Potterverse. I have read countless SI fics. Most are about creating a harem, absorbing voldemort's memories and kicking Dumbledore's ass politically with a moronic Dumbledore at the helm.
I have endeavored to question everything, think from Dumbledore's perspective and how the series ended and how it could have gone had everyone depended on HP's magical prowess rather than the 3-D chess that Dumbledore played with Voldemort. Here I have tried to add a wrench in the plans of both by dropping an adult with a similar IQ to both Albus and Tom.
Harry was supposed to be one of the magical juggernauts, and he will become one in this AU SI.