A/N: A massive thank you to everyone who has read my other fics, especially those who've taken the time to review – I really appreciate it. Ever since writing Clothes Maketh the Man I've wanted to explore Nell's past, but I quickly realized that with all her walls a one-shot just wasn't going to cut it. That said: these two fics are nothing alike. We're delving into her psyche but there's also a case and, of course, end game HEA for Neric.

Dedication: For SilverSentianal21 for her advice, support, general awesomeness and for reminding me that we all have a saga waiting to be written. Hopefully it will live up to expectations.

Disclaimer: NCIS, NCIS:LA and all of the characters sadly remain property of CBS.

Chapter 1: All I Ever Wanted

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. .:. .. .: The Mission, Los Angeles :. .. .:. .

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"Didn't you ever wish that there'd been an error? That someone would walk into your classroom and say 'Sorry, there'd been a mistake! Nell's not meant to be in this grade but the one down the hall, with the kids two or three grades up.' That you belonged, not with the people who were technically your own age but with all the other kids who were doing the same work as you. So that you wouldn't be the odd one out, sitting off to the side with 'advanced' coursework. That for once, you got to do exactly what everyone else was doing without feeling like you were stuck playing with baby toys? For once we have the opportunity to right a wrong in our school system before she learns what the word Nerd means or how kids use it."

Nell had expected the frustration, maybe even an emotional appeal but the raw emotion in Eric's voice, the pleading look in his eyes and the echoes of clearly painful memories buried just below the surface? Those brought her something close to physical pain. She was pretty sure she would have rather had part of her slashed to ribbons than be standing here right now. Being here meant having to think about a time in her life when she didn't have the tungsten strength walls shielding her from the world. When she'd felt like the cracks in her paper-thin shell were being held together with sticky tape and she didn't want to open that door. But this was bigger than either of them. Bigger than protecting the vulnerable part of herself she kept hidden deep inside. This was about irrevocably changing a little girl's life.

"This isn't just a number on a page at the bottom of a file, Eric. We'd be changing a fundamental part of who she is. Changing the year she was born could create irrevocable damage in other parts of her life. While you're at school your age is everything but we don't spend our whole life at school. And just because it wasn't good for us, doesn't mean her experience will be the same." It hadn't come out in the clinical, logical tone she'd wanted. She could hear the banked up emotion slipping in, echoing some of Eric's.

"How many times have you been 'the youngest person to' do whatever it is you're doing?" Eric snapped back. "How often do people question if you're the right person for the job based solely on the year on your birth certificate? Because that certainly didn't stop when I left College let alone high school." For the first time since they'd started this conversation, Eric sounded angry.

Nell couldn't help wincing inwardly at the truth in what he said. The only difference between being 'the youngest' at high school and after she'd left, had been that she'd learned how not to let it hurt her.

If she'd had time to think about it she would have realized she'd never actually seen him get angry before. Annoyed, protective, frustrated but somehow there was always a part of him that seemed to hold back, that stopped him from ever reaching that tipping point of true anger, the kind that could escalate into rage. The kind of emotion that made people without control lash out at whatever was closest with their tongues or fists.

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"Mr. Beale. Miss Jones." Hetty's voice cut through the tension in the room like a knife, denying Nell her chance to answer.

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For just a moment she thought Eric was going to tell Hetty to keep out of it; that he would lose some of the non-confrontational nature which seemed infused in his very being. But while the intensity still burned in his eyes he acknowledged Hetty and allowed her to take control of the situation. He hadn't given up his case but was prepared to be temporarily redirected.

Nell had never been so relieved to hear Hetty's voice as she was right now. She knew it was cowardly, and she'd hate herself for it later, but she didn't want to answer. Eric was one of the only people in her life she didn't have to lie to but in this case, what would the truth have cost her? She'd locked all those memories up in a box and there was nothing good that could come of opening that lid. She had not just survived but walked away stronger, that was all she cared to remember.

Standing with hands clasped behind her back, her expression foreboding, Hetty looked at her two Techs facing one another on opposite sides of the Island, their stances combative. It had already been an extremely stressful case and with one of the other pairs, she had the feeling they would have already moved this conversation to the gym so that they could channel all their frustration into physical action. Eric, for the first time ever, looked like he almost wanted to hit something - but Hetty knew was stronger than that. He had no affinity with violence and unless forced to fight by extreme duress, she had the feeling he never would. Nell on the other hand was capable of violence but it still wasn't instinctive. There were people like Callen, Ziva, and Herself who had it written into their DNA; people like Gibbs and Sam whose training had redefined their instincts; and people like Kensi and Deeks who'd found institutions to help control that violent part of them that the harsh realities of life had exposed. But Nell was different. She didn't fit any of the normal agent profiles. Although she had shown she could perform highly as an agent, her motivation was a desire to have the most balanced skillset possible. It enabled her to understand so much more than just intelligence analysis, diplomacy, or logistics. By being trained in the field she could anticipate problems, get the right information to the right people and respond rather than react without the usual burdens of formulaic logistical planning. The one thing she lacked was the indestructible nature of an agent, but her compassion was also a strength. Yes, Hetty was very glad to have Nell at her disposal. She'd known there would be teething problems - the best often liked to work alone, but each pair she created balanced one another.

She'd known, as soon as the case had come to her attention, that it would test Nell and Eric more than anyone else on the team but she'd hoped she wouldn't be needed as a mediator so quickly. Then again, she wasn't strictly needed yet, but right now she needed their A-game and that meant them working together. If this situation didn't have the unpleasant stench of an inside job there would be other options: safe houses, well-known and highly trained agents but right now, what she needed was a way to hide in plain sight, even if it meant breaking protocol.

"You both," Hetty began, looking from one to the other significantly, "make excellent points. However, something has happened which means we need to change our plans. It will no longer be sufficient to merely create a new identity for Bethany and assist in her movement into foster care and hopefully adoption. Her life is still at risk and until we can neutralize that threat I am sending you undercover as her guardians."

Almost as soon as Hetty completed her sentence Nell and Eric were opening their mouths but before either of them could get a single syllable out in protest, Hetty held up a hand and continued.

"We have a six-year-old girl with an IQ rivaling yours Mr. Beale, who has just lost both her parents - who, need I remind you, were some of our own. We do not know yet why they are after her but the only people who have managed to break down her walls and gain a little of her trust so far have been the two of you. Miss Blye and Mr. Deeks, while more accustomed to undercover work, can't relate, and sadly to blend into a community with the least possible scrutiny, you still need a mother and a father, which rules out Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna. There will, of course, be surveillance and your training Miss Jones will be sufficient to protect you until back up arrives in the highly unlikely event that this red-herring style operation becomes dangerous."

Nell's mind was in a tailspin. She was not the right person to be put in charge of any six-year-old let alone one who was grieving her parents' deaths and being hunted by unknown forces. "But–Hetty, I don't know anything about kids. I'm really not parenting material."

"Are you kidding? You're great with kids, Nell. Didn't your sister say her two didn't want to leave after their last sleepover at your place?" Eric protested.

"That's because staying with me is a novelty! They're on their best behavior, I'm feeding them sweets and putting on movies and none of us ever get enough sleep but it's okay because it gives my sister and her husband a night off and then I get to give them back the next day." Nell sighed, the fight draining out of her as she got the crux of the matter. The fact she just isn't good at opening her heart to people, letting them people in close enough to get attached. It was just easier to keep everyone at arm's length, it didn't hurt so much that way when they eventually left. "They're not relying on me, Eric. Not the way Bethany would be. She's just lost both her parents and she's going to need…she's going to need so much."

"But you wouldn't have to do it alone, Nell. It doesn't have to all rest on your shoulders, that's what partners are for."

"What she needs right now Miss Jones, is for the people protecting her to have some hope of distracting her from that loss. Your colleagues almost turned this place upside down hunting through every cupboard and drawer looking for anything she could play with. She sat in the middle of every pencil, crayon, and bobble-headed desk accessory we have, quiet and withdrawn. Didn't crack so much as a smile despite some truly woeful attempts at drawing and even sadder attempts at puppetry. What they couldn't see was that she was no more likely to be stimulated by those activities than they were. She needs to be challenged, the way Mr. Beale did with that Sudoku, and you did with the treasure hunt. We can't change the past, but we can help make the next weeks as comfortable for her as possible."

Nell had been watching from the balcony when Eric had made the breakthrough. Clearing a space and sitting down beside her, tablet outstretched, asking her for help with his Sudoku because he was stuck and her dad at once told him she was a master at solving them. The rest of the team had winced and bitten down hard on their tongues, holding their breath and hoping this wasn't going to be what broke her. They'd all tried so hard not to mention her parents. But the dejected little girl had come alive. Confident little hands had reached for the tablet and to everyone's amazement, she began to chatter away about how they were her favorite thing to do. Her face clouded as she told Eric she got to help her dad with the one in the paper every morning but with some gentle encouragement from Eric, she was working away eagerly again on his puzzle. Going so far as to climb into his lap with him holding the tablet so she had two free hands to try to solve the puzzle. Bethany, with her serious expression and the tip of her tongue poking out the corner of her mouth in concentration, was utterly gorgeous. But it was Eric who held Nell's attention the longest. She'd never thought about him being a father one day, but looking at the way he played with Bethany, she couldn't help but hope he had his own little girl someday.

Bethany had become so attached to Eric that he'd ended up having to stay doing Samurai Sudokus with her and it had been Nell, hours later who'd finally managed to entice Bethany, with the promise of Oreos and a treasure hunt she'd set up in the gym so that Eric could have a short break and set up the conference call between Hetty & Sec Nav to update him on the progress in the case. She'd tired Bethany out enough to hand her over to Kensi to supervise her nap, which is how both she and Eric were now back in Ops.

Nell's thoughts were derailed by the swoosh of the Ops doors sliding open and she looked up to see a blur of red and white charging towards Eric. It took Nell a second to realize, as impossible as it should have been for Bethany to find them, she had. Eric meanwhile had already reached down to swing her up into his arms.

"What are you doing up here, Munchkin?" he asked as she wrapped arms and legs around him as though clinging on for dear life.

Bethany was saved from answering by the doors of Ops sweeping open a second time to reveal an out-of-breath Kensi. "I swear I only took my eyes off her for a second. One minute she's sleeping peacefully on the couch the next thing I know she's halfway up the stairs and all she had to do when she reached the top was say 'Eric' and some helpful - uh - person - pointed her in here! I'm telling you, she's going to be a sprint champion one day."

Eric, however, wasn't listening. He'd gently shifted so that he had a free hand to tuck the curtain of blonde hair hiding Bethany's face, back behind her ear.

"Why didn't you tell Kensi you'd woken up?" He asked quietly. "I would have come back downstairs like I promised."

"I thought I'd lost you!" Bethany began with a sniff. "Then I remembered you said you worked upstairs and I thought if I came up here then you wouldn't have to go away again. I can sit quietly I promise, just don't make me go away." Eric's heart had melted the moment she'd thrown herself at him. Between her effort not to cry and her big hazel eyes looking up into his, he knew he was a goner. He might not be ready to be a father, terrible at undercover ops, and way too in love with Nell to come out unscathed after pretending to be married to her - but there was no way he was going to let anything happen to this little girl. If Hetty said this was their best shot at protecting her, then he was prepared to give up his chair in Ops for a house in some sleepy neighborhood.

"It's ok, I'm not going anywhere. I've got you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you," Eric said earnestly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she rested it on his shoulder.

Looking up, Eric's eyes met the other pair of hazel eyes he was unable to resist. He knew the idea of them looking after Bethany scared her, but he couldn't look after Bethany alone.

Nell knew they didn't really have a choice, Bethany had forced their hands. There was no way to separate Bethany from Eric now and he was her partner so by default it was her job to protect them. Her logical mind told her that NCIS: Office of Special Projects did have other female agents but Nell felt a stab of something like pain at the idea of Eric pretending to be married to someone else. She wasn't jealous; it just might not be safe - for Bethany. No, it definitely wouldn't be safe. After all, Eric couldn't act, but at least he and Nell spent so much time together they anticipated the other's actions, which would minimize telling mistakes.

Nell took a moment to try and strengthen her walls. She had a feeling that while Eric seemed to have an art for getting her to lower them around him, the combination of Eric and Bethany would defy even the tensile strength of tungsten. Then she stepped forward to stand beside Eric, placing a hand on Bethany's back.

Looking at Hetty, she nodded, signing herself up for what would probably be the hardest mission of her life.