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—
Sebastian's nails dug into the soft flesh of Ciel's hips.
Tears welled in Ciel's sapphire eyes as she stared straight ahead.
Not a word passed between them.
In the fading light of day, the only sound in the room was of Sebastian's light panting as he took what was his.
Ciel laid there like a mannequin.
She consented, but just so.
It was only right.
This was the fee that she paid Sebastian.
Ciel Phantomhive had recently completed her revenge. In return, as they had agreed, Ciel gave herself to Sebastian.
Ciel hadn't really known what that meant at the establishment of their agreement, but after all these years, a part of her was hoping it may be a bit more…elegant?
Romantic?
No, apparently not.
Sebastian had undressed her wordlessly.
Sebastian had not kissed her.
Sebastian had not even looked at her.
Sebastian simply took what Ciel agreed to give him.
And when Sebastian was finished, he removed himself coldly and stood up.
Ciel flinched when she realized that Sebastian walked into the bathroom to wash all evidence of her off of him.
The bluenette frowned and rolled over on her side, pulling the covers over herself, attempting to hide from the world and everyone in it.
There were no pretensions between her and Sebastian, she knew he didn't care about her, but still…
Maybe an obligatory kiss would have been nice?
Somehow, this seemed worse than that time Ciel had spent trapped in the cage.
At least, those that treated her that way hadn't known her.
Sebastian knew her.
After years at her side, Sebastian knew everything about Ciel.
Apparently, he just didn't care, and that was what was most uncomfortable.
It hurt.
But Ciel's pout turned into a frown.
No.
No, it didn't hurt.
It couldn't hurt.
This was what Ciel had wanted.
This is what she had bargained for.
Now, she finally had it, her precious revenge.
Sebastian's fee was paid in full now.
But it didn't bring her parents back…
None of it did.
No, the bluenette never thought it would feel this….
Empty.
Ciel never thought that she would feel this empty.
As two silver tears slid down her pale cheeks, Ciel closed her eyes and fell into a troubled sleep.
—-
When Ciel woke in the morning, she found herself alone and still naked in her room.
She had overslept, it was nearly ten.
"Sebastian?" Ciel called, hastily pulling on a robe.
Silence.
That was odd.
Sebastian always came when he was called.
"Sebastian!" Ciel repeated after a minute.
Silence again!
Ciel stormed out of her room, frustrated and annoyed. She hastily sat off in search of her missing butler.
The other servants were all at their posts, but each one denied seeing Sebastian.
It was when Ciel finally checked Sebastian's room and saw his butler uniform folded neatly on the bed that her heart began to race in her chest.
So this was it, then?
So…..Sebastian was really….gone?
Ciel stared at the folded uniform for a minute.
She raised a shaky hand to her face.
Her shoulders began to shake.
Not with sobs, but with laughter.
Ciel leaned against the door and laughed and laughed.
What a joke this was!
After all this time, Sebastian didn't even wait until breakfast to leave her as soon as the mission was accomplished!
He had taken what he had wanted and was on his way.
Ciel's laughter ended and she smoothed out her hair.
That was fine.
It was what had been agreed.
Besides, she didn't need Sebastian anyway.
—-
Some time passed and life at Phantomhive manor went on as usual.
Ciel may not have needed Sebastian, but it soon became obvious that she needed a doctor.
The bluenette fell victim to migraine headaches unlike anything she had ever experienced, nausea that reduced her meals to once a day or none at all, and the most dreadful fatigue, leading to sleeping spells that could almost rival that of a corpse.
Tanaka, old as he was, had temporarily stepped in as the Phantomhive butler.
Despite his age, although he was not as remarkable as Sebastian, he was still quite adept at performing his duties.
A doctor came.
A doctor left.
The physician tipped his hat to the other servants as he left Ciel's room and let himself out of the manor.
Everyone noticed the large sum of money he held in his hand, easily ten times his usual fee.
The money wasn't for Ciel's exam.
The money was to keep him quiet.
But they didn't know that.
"Master Ciel?" Tanaka called, rapping at Ciel's door.
"I'm fine." Ciel said in a solemn voice.
Baldroy, Mey-Rin, Snake, and Finny all exchanged worried glances with Tanaka.
"Is there anything that you require, mistress?" Tanaka pressed.
"Solitude. That is all." Ciel's voice called firmly through the door.
The others shrugged and with heavy frowns of concern, they eventually shuffled off.
Tanaka was the last one left outside of Ciel's door.
He bowed even though she couldn't see him and said quietly, "If you need me, my lady, all you have to do is ring the bell."
"Thank you, Tanaka." Ciel's voice called.
She meant it to sound curt, but it came out as choked instead.
Tanaka's frown lines deepened as he walked away.
In her room, Ciel sat on her bed, clutching a pillow to her chest with tears welling in her large sapphire eyes.
The bluenette had never been so afraid…..
There was no one to help her.
Not with this.
Ciel supposed that she really did need Sebastian, after all.
Her parents' murders had left Ciel empty.
Revenge had left Ciel empty.
But Sebastian…..
Sebastian hadn't left Ciel empty.
—
In the immediate days after, Ciel went into a sort of psychosis.
How could this have happened?
It was only once.
She and Sebastian had relations one single time.
How?!
This wasn't fair!
But now ...what to do?
What to do?
The bluenette spent entire days and nights pacing in her room, turning over possible scenarios in her mind.
Raise the child.
No.
There was no husband, no father.
There was no way.
She would lose everything she had.
She would be ostracized, outcast from society, stripped of her title and her fortune.
The child would starve in the streets along with her.
Give the child up for adoption.
How to do that discreetly?
The chances that no one would notice or find out?
Next to impossible.
There was another option that rattled in Ciel's mind.
A horrible option that she didn't like to think of, but as reality became more apparent, it seemed like the best choice.
The child would have to….
Ciel needed to…
With a roll of pure nausea at the sickening mental image, Ciel finally emerged from her room one morning.
The other servants were busy. They didn't see her walking about in the manor.
Ciel made her way to the library and collected a couple of medical textbooks.
After reviewing several of them, she rummaged around the manor for some supplies.
A piece of rubber tubing, clean cloths, a vacuum-like device.
A syringe.
It only had a bit of rust on it, surely it would be acceptable to use.
Right?
With all of her equipment in tow, the bluenette made her way back to her bedroom unnoticed.
Ciel had no medical training….no experience.
She walked into the bathroom and laid her supplies on the counter, preparing to begin the procedure that could very well end her life.
Unfolding some white towels to drape on the floor, Ciel took a deep breath and read over the medical texts again, trying to line up her own body with the illustrations.
Picking up the syringe and the piece of tubing with a heavy hand and a heavier heart, she took a deep breath.
—-
For once, though, it seemed that Ciel's dark world may become a little brighter.
Luck.
A spot of luck.
It was pure and simple luck that that same morning, a carriage rumbled along the road to Phantomhive manor.
The outside of the carriage bore the engravings of cobwebs.
Spiders….
"I do hope Ciel will be happy to see me, Claude!" A joyous, smooth voice exclaimed inside the carriage.
Claude Faustus was silent, choosing to adjust his glasses instead of reply.
Feathery blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, and a slim physique made the adult Alois Trancy quite the subject of admiration to the debutantes of Victorian English society.
The blonde flirted for fun but otherwise pretended not to notice.
He wasn't interested in those girls.
Alois Trancy was a fairly frequent visitor to the Phantomhive estate though.
Ciel and Alois had met as rivals and started out as bitter enemies. But after their rivalry was laid to rest, and a few misunderstandings were resolved, they had become business partners in several investments.
Ciel had been happy about the diversement opportunities.
Alois was just happy for the opportunity to see Ciel more often.
Alois Trancy had thought Ciel Phantomhive was beautiful since the night he had met her at his ball years ago.
Admittedly, he had thought she was a male at first, but it didn't turn Alois away that Ciel was in fact, female.
Ciel was gorgeous.
But Ciel was already claimed.
Sebastian had made that abundantly clear.
Still, that didn't stop Alois from admiring her.
And it certainly didn't stop Alois from caring about the bluenette either.
A smile illuminated Alois's face as his carriage pulled up to Phantomhive manor.
Alois swaggered out of the vehicle with Claude trailing behind.
Confidently, Alois knocked on the front door.
Tanaka slowly made his way over and answered it. "Yes? Oh, good morning, Earl Trancy."
"Mr. Tanaka." Alois said in surprise. "Where's Sebastian?" He asked with a gleeful smile.
There was a snip of sarcasm in his voice.
Oh dear, what a shame that would be if Sebastian ...just happened to tragically fall off a cliff or something….
"I'm afraid Sebastian is no longer serving the Phantomhive family." Tanaka said with a polite nod.
Alois's eyes widened.
What?!
"R….really?" Alois asked in disbelief.
Sebastian was…no longer….?!
What madness was this?!
As glued to Ciel as he always was, Alois had been pretty sure that Sebastian would have followed Ciel to the grave.
"That's right, Earl Trancy." Tanaka nodded.
Alois was completely caught off guard. He almost forgot that he was standing on the front step.
"Well…...um...may I see Ciel?" The blonde asked, pulling his wits together.
"I'm afraid my master is quite ill, but she hasn't told me to stop visitors." Tanaka said. Standing to the side, he let Alois and Claude enter with a bow. "Please be careful not to exhaust her."
"Thank you, Tanaka." Alois said as he crossed the threshold and began to make his way towards Ciel's room.
Claude stayed behind and exchanged small talk with Tanaka.
Alois knew that Ciel kept to herself when she wasn't well….
But then again, Alois knew a lot about Ciel.
If only he realized how much he didn't know….
—
Alois made it to Ciel's room just as she picked up the rubber tubing.
"Ciel?" Alois called, knocking at the door.
Ciel was so focused, she didn't hear.
Her breath was labored.
Her hands were sweating.
Ciel felt her arms start to shake.
Murderer.
Ciel had killed many, but never before had she felt like she deserved that title, not until now.
To destroy something, someone, so innocent, so unknowing, so undeserving.
Tears welled in Ciel's eyes and she squeezed them shut.
No better….
She was no better than those people that had brutalized her and the other children.
"I'm so sorry…." Ciel whispered in a hushed voice as she picked up the syringe in her other hand. "I'm so sorry."
Her unborn child should have been honored.
To receive an apology from Ciel Phantomhive was no small feat.
Alois was afraid something was wrong, so he tried the door.
Unlocked, the knob turned easily, and he stepped into the room.
Noticing the bed was empty, Alois heard a noise in the bathroom.
"Ciel?" Alois called.
Ciel heard Alois and whirled around to find herself face to face with the blonde.
It was difficult to tell who looked more shocked.
Ciel, that Alois was there and that he had found her like that, or Alois, that Ciel had the equipment and everything positioned.
Alois had a rough childhood and had unfortunately spent time with many impoverished and desperate people.
He knew what the equipment was for.
But…..
"Ciel," Alois asked with a startled chuckle. "What's going on?"
Ciel was too mortified to speak. She held her resolve until tears clouded her sapphire eyes so badly that Alois felt he was looking back at two pools of water.
Alois's first reaction was to be afraid.
Was she in pain?
Alois quickly glanced behind Ciel.
The towels were clean.
Her clothes were in tact.
"Have you done it yet?" Alois asked.
Ciel looked away and wordlessly shook her head.
Alois reached out.
Ciel flinched.
The blonde gently took the tubing out of her hand, then the syringe.
Ciel sobbed into her wrist while Alois walked her over to her bed and sat down on it with her.
He put an arm comfortingly around the crying bluenette.
"You're with child." Alois said quietly.
"I didn't tell you that!" Ciel snapped, as if he had just said something very offensive.
"No, I told you." Alois said with a raised brow. "I know what all that's for, Ciel. Have you forgotten where I came from? I certainly haven't."
Ciel turned her face away and dissolved into quiet sobs again.
Alois tightened his grip on her, trying to soothe the bluenette.
So Ciel was pregnant and Sebastian had mysteriously vanished…..
That bloody villain.
That careless, greedy oaf!
Alois fought his own tears that threatened to pour from his eyes as he watched the distraught bluenette sob into her sleeve.
Alois was an abuse survivor.
Even if that wasn't the case here, Sebastian had clearly taken advantage of Ciel, at least to some degree.
Ciel….
Oh, not Ciel….
A person as regal and beautiful as Ciel.
As kind…...
Ciel tried to show otherwise, but really, Ciel was actually very kind.
It broke Alois's heart that this had happened to Ciel.
His poor little butterfly….
"You don't have to do it, Ciel." Alois said very quietly after a few moments passed.
"Of course I do! I have no choice!" Ciel retorted.
"You have lots of choices." Alois said calmly.
Ciel scoffed. "This isn't a game for once, Alois. I'll be ruined. I refuse to let Sebastian ruin me."
"Sebastian isn't going to ruin you or my baby." Alois said, taking Ciel's hand in his.
Ciel blinked. "Your…what?"
"This baby isn't Sebastian's. It's mine. That's what we'll tell everyone." Alois said. His ocean blue eyes lit up as a maniacal idea seized his mind. "That's it, Ciel! Come and marry me, we'll say the child is ours! At least then, you can give it a chance to live! If you decide to rid yourself of it, we'll see that it goes to a good home!"
Ciel looked on agape as Alois spoke.
Alois sat down beside her again, "And if you decide to keep it, then we'll raise a baby together~."
Ciel stared deep into Alois's exuberant eyes.
"You're really serious." Ciel said incredulously.
"Of course I am." Alois sniffed.
Why was that so hard to believe?
Alois spent his days trying to escape the soul-crushing loneliness and futility of his manor and of his position as the Earl Trancy.
Having a pregnant wife and eventually a family would be a dream come true for Alois.
Although, Ciel had no idea that Alois had been secretly in love with her for years….
That was definitely a contributing factor in his offer.
Ciel looked away, taking a second to consider.
This was all quite generous of Mr. Trancy.
Well…
What did Ciel really have to do now?
Run her estate and company.
Ciel could do that as Alois's wife.
Maybe this way, Ciel could at least give the child a chance to live.
She could sleep peacefully at night.
Her conscience would be clear.
Ciel straightened her back and looked Alois in the eye.
She gave him a very formal nod.
Alois smirked and knelt down in front of her. "Ciel Phantomhive, will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Earl Alois Trancy, the lady of Trancy manor?"
"I shall." Ciel said very formally.
For a makeshift engagement ring, Alois slid his gold Trancy ring off and placed it around Ciel's delicate finger.
Ciel stared down at it.
She felt her stomach turn in apprehension.
Was she making a mistake?
Worse than the mistakes she had already made?
Alois smiled brightly.
He wanted to jump for joy!
Finally, after what felt like a lifetime of wishful hoping, Ciel was going to be his!
There would even be papers to prove it!