Dichotomy

Part 1

Meg

Meg had just finished sweeping the kitchen when Cas slouched downstairs. His cold, hard eyes glanced at her briefly before he headed outside. She didn't understand how he always got out of his chores. Okay, not always, but a lot of the time, and it pissed her off. Why did he get to slack off? The fucking shit. She had to have 'talks' too, but no, she never got a pass. She tried bringing the subject up with their foster parents but was told it was complicated.

This place sucks. I should run away.

Meg grit her teeth and tried not to brood over it but failed. Cas should be washing these fucking dishes not her. She saw him smoking out in the backyard. He was always smoking. She could not believe he got away with it, given how the Lincolns were about everything else.

Maybe he'll die of cancer.

She smiled at the thought while she scrubbed the last pot. Her glee turned sour after a few moments when she realized sixteen was way too fucking young to die. Plus she'd probably be the one taking care of his sick ass.

After wiping down all the countertops and flipping Cas the bird through the window, she went upstairs to do her homework. The first thing she did was pull out the book for her essay. Melville was not the easiest read, but she powered through. Meg's Sophomore year was packed full of not only regular classes but extra credits so she could graduate a year earlier. No way was she going to rot in this hell hole of a town longer than needed. She was finally in a stable enough home she could concentrate on more than getting enough to eat, not getting raped, and finding a safe place to sleep. A knock on the door derailed her thoughts on why Billy Budd needed to hang.

"Open." Meg turned to face the door. A smiling face greeted her.

"We are going to watch a movie. Want to join?"

It was Tamera, her foster mother. Her smile seemed genuine, which Meg often doubted, and she always was quiet, which Meg had considered weak, but found out was wrong. Tamera had the manner of a matronly grandmother-without the heavyset frame, grey hair, or spectacles- but was a mama bear when Meg was having trouble at school. No one had stood up for her like Tamera. Also, Meg had been quite surprised to find out that the woman with dark auburn hair, bright green eyes, and trim body, was a nickel from sixty instead of forty.

Meg smirked first but forced it into a strained smile and replied with a shake of her head. "I have to finish this essay and study for a Calculus test, but thanks." She patted the math book sitting next to her.

"Alright sweet- I'm sorry, Meg, I can't help myself. Good luck with studying." Tamera waved and left.

Meg's strained smile softened. She had made it clear she did not like any sort of pet names as terms of endearment; past foster parents had ruined that for her. However, she was warming up to Tamera.

Meg looked out her window to watch the last bits of the sunset fade away, something she never did before. The bright oranges and yellows were deepening with reds and hints of blue and grey. Movement caught her eye. She scanned the backyard noting Cas was not inside yet; he was still smoking out by the back fence, pacing. He was such a weird guy. He stared too long, rarely spoke, and he always looked pissed. She didn't know what had happened to land him here, but she did know this was the only foster family he'd lived with for the whole five years he'd been in the system. Lucky bastard. They never really talked past a few word exchanges but she found him blunt and rude, not too unlike herself. She hated being around him. He had the emotional range of a rock.

A couple of hours later, Meg stretched and called it a night. No way was she going to cram any more information into her brain. She took a shower, did her nightly routine, went to the bedroom next to hers and knocked.

"Hey, Alfie, you in there?" Meg asked through the door. Alfie Oliver Samandriel was the newest member of their family. He was a thirteen-year-old boy who had only recently been placed in the system due to neglect and abuse. He was painfully shy, which made people think he was slow, but was actually quite bright. For the two weeks he had been with them, he had only spoken with Meg. Luckily Ed and Tamera Lincoln were good, patient people, something which still shocked Meg after nine months.

The door opened a couple of inches showing a bright blue eye. "Yeah, I'm here," his voice was soft and guarded.

Meg smirked and gave a little wave. "Who'd you think it was?"

"I thought…" Alfie ducked his head as he opened the door the rest of the way. He stood behind it like a shield until he was sure Meg was just going to stand in the doorway.

"I'm just giving you shit." Meg leaned on the door jam, her arms crossed. She ignored his timid nature but respected his boundaries. "It's time for bed."

He wrapped his arms around his thin, rigid frame and nodded stiffly. She could tell he wanted to ask something, so she waited. It had not taken her long to learn his tells. After a moment he let out a ragged breath and relaxed enough to unwind his arms and scratch his head, further disheveling his dark blond hair.

He needs a haircut, Meg thought to herself.

"Are Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln good?" His face was scrunched in concentration. "I mean, you have been here a long time…"

Meg made an effort to soften her features, smoothing her smirk to a smile, and uncrossing her arms. This was as important to him as it had been to her. But unlike him, she had to figure it out all on her own.

"Alfie, yes, I have been here a while, about nine months and Ed and Tamera have been good to me. Lord knows I don't know why. I was a bitch when I got here, and still am!" Meg let out a laugh at her depreciating comment. She knew what kind of person she was.

Alfie smiled and then frowned. He flopped down on his bed and pulled his knees up to his chest. "But Cas has been here forever and is so, so…" He waved his hand as if trying to grab the right word out of the air.

Meg rolled her eyes, stepped over to his desk, and sat down on his chair. "Listen to me. Don't judge the Lincolns by Cas. He was already here when I got here. At first, I was thinking maybe he is just shy or standoffish, but then I got to know him. Well, not really, I don't know shit about him. It just scared me how he acted. I mean, who were these weirdos that raised a freak like Cas? What kind of people were Ed and Tamera? Seriously, I thought they were either the strictest, religious nut jobs or closeted psychopaths. Thinking about it damn near scared me to death. I mean, these could be the worst fuckers yet. However, I learned that Cas is different, like the complete opposite of them, so you can't go by him. I don't know what issues the dude has, but I don't think it's anything the Lincolns did. So relax, and when you're ready, go talk to them. They told me they would wait for you."

"Okay, Meg," Alfie responded, releasing his legs and unfolding.

Meg smiled again as she got up to leave. At the door, she turned back to him and said, "You can go ahead and shower. I'm done and Cas is not in yet."

Alfie stood and was gathering his night clothes. He nodded and gave her a tired smile. He had a lot to process. This was an improvement, one she was careful not to point to out. Every other night he would have just nodded and shut the door. She smiled at the boy, thirteen years old and all arms and legs. He was slowly relaxing. If he'd been through half the experiences she had… Meg gave a shudder and shook her head to rid herself of the oncoming memories she did not want to relive. He was lucky this was his first foster home.

Meg headed downstairs to bid the Lincolns good night when she smelled smoke. Cas rounded the corner, looking up he hesitated on the landing but continued, his head down.

"Hello, Meg," he grumbled.

"You stink." She scrunched up her face, waving her hand in front of her nose. She was never one to pass up a barb.

"Thank you, Meg." Cas nodded to her without a glance.

His monotone speech rubbed her the wrong way, too. She was sure he had been born a robot. Meg rolled her eyes and went to the living room. She spotted Ed, a balding man of fifty-eight, six-foot-two with a mostly athletic build, in his recliner by the big picture window.

"Hey, Alfie's in the shower, so he'll be in bed soon." She accepted the role of go-between for the time being. "So goodnight."

"Thank you, Megan," Ed said, giving her a wide smile. "Have a good night and good luck on your test tomorrow."

"Thank you, Ed, and it's just Meg." She had to correct him nearly every day. She was beginning to think he was yanking her chain.

"Oh, that's right," he chuckled, hitting his head with a mock reprimand. "I'll get it right one day."

"Ed, I swear." Tamera gave her husband a stern but playful look as she walked into the room from the kitchen. She patted Meg on the shoulder on her way to her recliner beside Ed's. "He thinks he is so funny. Sweet dreams."

"Exactly." Meg rolled her eyes. "Anyway, see you tomorrow." She waved and turned to leave. Ed's question stopped her just past the doorway. It just occurred to her that she didn't register the pat on the shoulder from Tamera. Shit, I am getting too soft.

"Just a moment, did Cas come in?"

Meg leaned back in and pointed upstairs. "Yeah, I met him going up right before I came in here."

"Thank you. I need to talk to him about his behavior lately." Ed's face was creased with a concerned frown.

"Honey, didn't you have a talk with him earlier?" Tamera gave him a look of concern.

Ed turned his gaze to her. "Yes, Hun, but that was about his history test and his grades. Haven't you noticed that he has not been doing his share of the chores?"

Tamera thought for a moment. "Now that you mention it. I know he has had a lot of homework and tests lately, but that is no excuse. We need to remind him that we all do our part in this family."

Ed nodded and turned back to Meg. "Meg, could you let him know we need to talk?"

Finally. Meg thought with an internal sigh of relief. "Sure, Ed."

Meg gave a final wave and headed back upstairs. She knocked on Alfie's door to make sure he was not sneaking a read. She spun around when the bathroom door opened. Alfie was as shocked as she was, but recovered quickly.

"I'm done." He shuffled from foot to foot.

"That was a fast shower," she said, trying to save face. She had forgotten he went to do that right before she went downstairs.

"I don't take long. Dad gets mad… I was going to bed, honest." Alfie was such an eager child, always wanting to please. He ducked his head and slipped past her to his room. When he did not immediately shut the door, Meg took the hint and stayed. Leaning against the door jam again, she waited for him to begin. He leaned in close. She bent down since he was being conspiratorial. She noticed how he twisted his fingers into his pajama top.

"I was thinking about telling Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln that I appreciate them taking me in and taking care of me." His eyes darted around the room, finally landing on something behind Meg, his eyes wide as he took a step back.

She turned, blocking the door, and saw Cas going into the bathroom.

"Hey Cas," she called out. She wasn't' being nice, she had to relay Ed's message. She watched as he stopped and slowly turned to face her.

"Hello, Meg." His blue eyes pierced hers from under his long hair. He nodded behind her. "Hello, Alfie." His eyes went back to Meg.

Why is he always so fucking intense?

"Ed and Tamera need to talk to you when you're done. They're downstairs."

Cas' eyes flashed wide for a second and she thought he might have paled a bit, but she must have been mistaken. He just scowled at her.

"Thank you, Meg," he said formally and turned around and went into the bathroom.

She remembered Alfie turned back around. He was trembling in the middle of his room still staring at the bathroom door. She cleared her throat and gave him a real smile, leaning back on the doorframe. She knew better than to try to touch him. She had made the mistake of putting her hand on his shoulder once and the reaction was not fun. Also, she was not a hugger so no danger there.

"Alfie, I understand." Picking up the conversation where they had left it, she continued, "You want to trust because you want something good to happen. I don't trust easily, either. I've been placed in so many crappy homes where things were shitty and the people were bastards." She raised her right hand when she noticed the tears appearing in his eyes and the slight tremble of his bottom lip. "That's all I am going to say on the subject, so trust me. Ed and Tamera, they... They've never pushed or pried or touched me when I didn't want it. Give them a chance. When you are ready."

Meg heard a loud thump come from the bathroom. She glanced over her shoulder and debated asking if Cas was okay, and tossed that thought aside. If he needed help, he could yell.

Alfie frowned at the bathroom door but calmed when he looked back at Meg.

"Thank you. I- I am just so… jumbled. Mom said no one cares about -"

"Shut up. Stop that. You're here and you're safe. We're all safe." She didn't know what his mother had said, but she had an idea and she really did not want to hear it.

Another thump from the bathroom caused them both to stare at the door. Alfie looked at Meg with questions on his face and tears that were about to fall forgotten. Meg looked back at him and shrugged. Despite his fear, he tilted his head to the door. Meg rolled her eyes and mouthed, 'Fine.'

She took two steps to the door and pounded on it twice. "Hey, you okay in there?" She could hear muffled sounds but could not make out anything. She thought about picking the lock-it was a simple spring action-when Cas replied.

"I'm fine." As always his tone held no inflection or animation of any kind.

A moment later she could hear the shower running. Meg frowned but schooled her features when she turned back to Alfie.

"Is Cas always so -" Alfie asked.

"Pissy? Yes, generally."

"I was going to say emotionless, but yeah. He scares me." Alfie whispered that last part and looked nervous.

Meg smirked. "Don't worry, he won't do anything to you while I'm around. He won't do anything, period. What you see is what you get with him. Hell, he barely talks to me and I bet he has not said two words to you."

Alfie's frown deepened into confusion, and he nodded, "He says hello, greetings mostly. But I haven't really been the most talkative since I moved in." He was staring at his sock-covered toes.

Meg bent down to catch his eye. "Don't. It's not your fault he's a dick. I swear that is the most animated I have seen him since I moved in. Now come on, get in bed, we have school tomorrow. Goodnight."

Alfie looked up at her and smiled. "Goodnight, Meg."

Meg went to her room. She was tired but needed to work on her journal her therapist had suggested. She struggled for a half an hour to get a couple of pages in before she decided she had to pee. She got up and opened her door to see a tired-looking Cas walking out of his bedroom directly across from hers.

He didn't spare her a glance as he turned toward the spiral staircase leading to Ed and Tamera's bedroom. They had converted their attic into a master bedroom to make more space when they became foster parents ten years ago. Half of it was their bedroom and the other half was still storage.

Maybe he'll do his own work from now on. Meg heaved a sigh and went to the bathroom. Later that night something woke Meg. She thought it was a scream but when she strained to listen nothing else came to her ears. She got up and checked on Alfie. He had nightmares and she wanted to be sure he was okay. She had to cover him back up because, like the many nights before, he had kicked off his covers, otherwise he was sleeping peacefully. She went and peed, and as she was going back to bed she thought she heard a cry. She looked to Cas' closed door.

If he was crying, then he was human.

She crept over to his room and pressed her ear to the door, listening hard. Nothing. She shrugged and went back to bed.