August 2006

I can feel the slight droplets of rain on my skin with the wind making the temperature of my skin drop, but whatever is around me in that moment is so far away from my thoughts that all I can feel and hear is my own voice screaming, my lungs are burning, my heart has shattered into a million pieces

The pain is too much, this cant be happening, this can't be real, I am stood frozen in place, shock and disbelief is running through my veins making my blood turn to ice, my body begins to shake. The world has stopped on its axel in the matter of seconds, everything around me has stopped, I feel my hand gripping my phone before I fall to the floor

There is blood everywhere

My hands are covered in blood

I see lights flashing, and a truck pulls up behind me, I scream for help, but I am only dragged away, screaming trying to get back.

My heart is broken, my world ended in the matter of seconds

--

August 2017

"please come with me Ruby, you know Lily can't take another Saturday off work" I say

"Emma, it is expensive" Ruby says while she is currently nursing a very dramatic hangover.

"I never ask you to do anything, this is the one time I am asking you to do this for me, you love the show just as much as me and you know how bad I am wanting to meet her" I say as I walking into the kitchen to grab some paracetamol and some fresh orange juice for her.

"urgh, will you drop this if I say I will think about it"

"maybe, maybe not, you have said you will think about this for weeks now. I need to know as the tickets will sell out soon and I refuse to miss yet another convention because you are unsure" I say getting more pissed off.

"RIGHT, fine I will come. I will do anything for silence, my head fucking is banging Emma" Ruby says through clenched teeth

"Well that's what you get for downing a million shots of Tequila and refusing to get a taxi home" I say throwing the tablets at her.

"Why are you being so moody lately, this past week you have been on edge, you even shouted at the checkout lady in the shop yesterday, for absolutely no reason" Ruby says trying to sound calm but I know she is getting angry at me. I don't know what to say, Ruby does not know why I am on edge, she knows nothing of my past and I wouldn't even want her to know. I know I can be a bitch this time of year. So, I really try and keep myself to myself.

"I was just having an off day, work is stressful at the moment" I lie "I am sorry, I don't mean to take it out on you, or random checkout girls" I grin trying to lighten the mood

"That's okay Emma, but you know I am here if you want to talk about anything, besides, that checkout girl was hot, she was checking you out just before you shouted at her, you should have seen her face when you walked away, she looked like she was slapped in the face with a wet fish" she said laughing at the memory

"RUBY, I am getting married to Lily in 6-months. you cannot tell me how hot someone is and say they were checking me out. Now I want to go back and apologize and see if she really was hot" I am comfortable saying this to Ruby as she knows what I am like. I have never cheated on anyone and I hopefully never will. However, I can be the biggest flirt as I thrive off the attention. I never used to be like this when I was younger. Lily knows what I am like also. She has never questioned it, she trusts me 100% as I trust her.

I have been with Lily for over 4 years now. I meet her within a 1 year of moving to London. I was known as the new girl and was also known as 'fresh meat' so to speak. I had a lot of fun in that first year being in London.

I met Ruby the day I moved to London. I got off the train, went straight to the bar and started chatting up the barmaid, she was tanned skin and around 5.5ft had long black hair, little bit too thin for my liking but at the time I was frustrated and it really didn't matter what her weight was. Turned out the barmaid was the owner, she needed a new member of staff. I needed a job. So, fate brought us together and we have been best friends since. We never did get together, not even kissed. As soon as she gave me the job the flirting stopped. I can be sensible when I want to be. Ruby introduced me to Lily one night. I was looking for a for a new hairdresser. Ruby went on and on about how good she was. When she walked into the bar my jaw practically dropped to the floor.

Goddess!

"Pick that jaw off the floor Emma" Ruby said whilst passing behind me in the bar. I couldn't believe how god dam sexy she was. She walked in with such confidence that she had me weak at the knees.

"Hi, can I have a Jack and coke please" oh my god her voice. I was drawn in from that moment on. Got her into my bed that night and the rest they say is history.

"Earth to Emma" Ruby grabs me out of my thoughts, waving her hand in front of my face with a look of concern. "where did you just go"

"Sorry was just thinking about when I first moved here and meet you and Lily" little did Sarah know they were the first good Memories I had after 5 years and I will always cherish them

"that was some crazy times when you moved here Emma, I am pleased you're not that wild player party girl you once were, Lily certainly tamed the beast" Ruby says laughing

"hey, don't hate the player hate the game, besides you loved me like that" I said standing back up whilst we are both laughing "I am off back to bed, you coming?

"Only if I can be big spoon and I need to be up in an hour to open the bar"

"OK, big spoon it is, I need to be up also as I am taking Lily out to taste some wedding cakes" I say getting into bed and letting Sarah under the covers also, she snuggled into my back and puts her head between my shoulders"

"I bet it's not the only thing you will let Lily taste" she says laughing uncontrollably.

"Ruby, you dirty cow, and to think I was going to pay for your ticket to the convention"

"HAHA, no you weren't, you are too tight with your money. Goodnight"

"Whatever, shh"