Survivor: Malfoy Manor Style!
Ok, this is an idea I've been toying with for a while, based on two similar stories that cross my favorite anime, Bleach, with the reality TV show called Survivor. This is supposed to be a crack/parody but l don't know if that will happen. I hope I can, at least, make it humorous and give you a laugh or two.
Lord Voldemort was bored. He'd never realized attempting to rule the world was such a dull job. Due to his appearance, he ventured outside of Malfoy Manor or the Riddle house very infrequently. Bad things tended to happen at times like this. His faithful Death Eaters were getting burned out with the nightly attacks and raids on the Muggle world. He was currently in the spacious office Lucius had so kindly given him upon his return.
He found that there was a Muggle television in there. He had turned it on one evening. Draco had apparently heard Mudblood Granger talking about them with Pothead and decided that he needed one too. He nagged and nagged his father until Lucius, in a fit of temper, went out and bought one. He set it up in this unused study and hoped like hell Draco got bored of it fairly soon. Unfortunately, he didn't count on himself getting hooked on the Muggle newscasts. It was hugely amusing, listening to how they explained away unexpected weather conditions and unexplained fighting in the cities. Narcissa and Bella loved watching QVC and the other shopping channels. Draco and his friends enjoyed watching MTV and the movie channels.
Since the Dark Lord's return, none of the Malfoys had been able to watch the news or any programs on it. Instead, they found themselves watching a whacked out show called Survivor. The Dark Lord had found it one night while channel surfing. He became quite interested in it. Those crazy Americans! What would they come up with next!
The rules of the show were apparently simple. Two teams, a number of challenges (reward and immunity) completed, each week one eliminated until the teams merged, then it turned into a free for all. One person walked away with the cash.
Knowing his faithful were getting worn down by the constant fighting and raids, he began taking notes on the show. One day, after watching his weekly installment of Survivor, Voldemort came up with an absolutely scrumptious idea. He didn't tell Lucius as it involved the entire Malfoy Estate. He rubbed his hands together gleefully.
Lucius Malfoy was worried. His master had been asking very peculiar questions lately. Today, he'd noticed more elves than normal, streaming out of his house, going to the gardens. When asked what they were doing, he was informed it was a surprise for him from his master. He almost fainted from sheer fright. He wondered exactly what kind of 'surprise' it was.
Voldemort spent the next few days planning his 'surprise' before he thought he should really let Lucius in on it, seeing as how Lucius was going to be part of it, after all. He had the hardest time trying to decide who all he was going to have participating. Then he needed to ready the invitations but first he needed to run them past Lucius and see what he thought. Finally he had to draft out a copy of the invitations and set labels to them.
Lucius walked into his study and was startled to see the Dark Lord sitting behind his desk, scribbling madly on a piece of parchment, mumbling to himself. "My Lord, is there anything I can help you with?"
"Does this look good to you? Does it look right?" Voldemort asked took the paper and read the message. "Presenting the Wizarding version of Survivor! Twenty people enter, one leaves with the prize! You are formally invited to participate! All games will be played at Malfoy Estate." Lucius raised an eyebrow." We'll be playing here, my Lord?"
"With your permission of course, Lucius, after all you will be playing as well." Lucius was shocked and it showed for just a brief minute. Then his face went expressionless again.
"As you wish, my Lord." He bowed his head.