"Looks like it's just us again."

Jesse hadn't really been paying attention; he'd been too busy staring off at the concrete wall across from him. Jesse was sitting on his mat, his back pressed up against the wall while he propped his elbows on top of his knees. He stressed the chain that locked his ankles together, pulling them apart as far as he could. Todd's voice rung in his ears from above but he kept unmoving, like he was still processing the words but his focus couldn't be bothered to react.

"Jesse?"

"Hm?" Jesse grunted softly before tilting his chin up.

Todd stood over the grate, his wide excited eyes peered down between the bars like a child would stare at a lion in a zoo exhibit. But now Todd was studying Jesse, somewhat of a worried expression on his face.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." Jesse's voice came out as a rasp, giving a curt nod at the end of it.

"Did you hear me? That everyone left again?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah," Todd sighed as he stretched out his back. "They're dealing with some group Lydia was worried about in Nevada. And everyone wanted to go on account that they would get to stay in Vegas. So they should be there for a few days."

"Hm." Jesse turned back to his wall.

"Perfect timing cause that means I can go on my trip without them breathing down my neck."

Jesse perked up. A trickling fear of the word. "Trip?"

"Yeah I gotta go out of town." Todd nodded. "Lydia met these guys in Houston that want to expand our distribution down south and they want to make a deal with us. Lydia wants me there with her so I can give my input."

A sinking feeling was filling Jesse's chest. "Well...what about me?"

"Actually," Todd leaned over more. "I was thinking you might come with."

"You want me...to come with?"

"Sure. I thought it'd be fun." Todd shrugged. "I don't like traveling alone, plus Lydia keeps saying how she wants to check in on the state of you and stuff so maybe I could hit two birds with one stone. Also I think these guys have their own set up down there and maybe we could show you cooking. Just so they really know how good you are and what they'd be missing if they said no."

"Why don't you just, like, give them a sample?"

"We could." Todd nodded again. "But it's not as impactful, you know? Uncle Jack always tells me how important first impressions are. I think them actually seeing you work would be really awesome."

Jesse blinked and looked back at his feet. "I don't know Todd...that seems pretty risky."

"No it's fine. And if anything happens, I'll take care of you. Don't worry."

Closing his eyes, Jesse took in a sharp intake of air before pushing it out slowly, letting those words roll off of him before glancing back up at Todd.

"And your Uncle's okay with this?"

Todd seemed to shift at that. His face twisting uncomfortably before looking back at Jesse. "He won't find out. We'll be back the day before they come back, don't worry."

"So he's not okay with it?"

Letting out a low sigh, Todd crossed his arms. "He wouldn't understand. But this is my business. I'm in charge of it, he told me so himself. So really he can't be mad even if he does find out."

Then why do we have to come back a day early?

Is what Jesse wanted to say. But he pushed too much today. Jesse already knows the answer anyways. No need to get Todd upset if he doesn't have to.

"So what do you say then?"

Jesse's eyes met Todd's eager ones once again. He sat there a second, mustering up his strength. "Todd, I don't think this is a good idea."

Todd's expression dropped along with his shoulders. He looked off past Jesse's cage a moment before scratching the back of his head. "Well...it's either this or I'll have to leave you alone in here for a couple of days."

A different fear began to grow inside Jesse. For every reason he had for not wanting to go on a road trip with Todd he had double that for being left alone in the hole for days on end.

"Can't...can't you reschedule or something?"

"If I reschedule then Kenny or Uncle Jack will want to come with me. Then I won't be able to make the negotiations myself which is really what I want the experience with." Todd gave another heavy sigh. "Also I thought you'd want a break from all this. It'd be cool to just get out of here again. Maybe recharge a bit."

"Yeah I just...I'm just worried about your uncle. That's all."

"Like I said, we'll be back before him. No problem." Todd cocked his head. "Unless you'd rather stay here alone."

"No!" Jesse snapped. His voice coming out scratchy at the unfamiliar volume he set it at. Clearing his throat, Jesse dropped his voice. "I mean, no. I'd...I'd rather come with you."

Todd's face lit up. He didn't take a beat before unlocking the cage door and sliding the ladder down into the pit. The ladder's legs banged against the floor as Jesse pulled himself to his feet. He groaned at his stiff shoulders and slowly began creeping upward; his chains letting out a jangling sound that bounced off the walls around him.

When Jesse finally made it to the surface, he stood and watched as Todd pulled the ladder back up, putting it in its proper place alongside the wall of the building across from the caged hole in the ground. After that, Todd dusted off his hands and moved back in front of him. Jesse watched Todd stare him down before letting out a breath.

"So this is a long trip and that means its gonna require a lot more trust then before." He said calmly. "Now, last time can't ever happen again. You understand?"

Jesse nodded quickly. His gaze now on the ground in front of Todd.

"I didn't tell Uncle Jack about that cause I wanted to protect you. You know that right? If he had found out about that I think he would've done a lot of things that you wouldn't've liked. And I really don't want that to happen to you Jess." Todd frowned. "But if something like that ever happened again I'd have to tell him. You understand that right?"

Jesse gave another sharp desperate nod.

"Could you say it for me?"

Jesse felt his teeth clench and his eyes close as the seconds ticked by. There was a surge of emotion that hit him that Jesse was trying so desperately suppress. There was no point in feeling that way if he couldn't act on it.

Finally, his eyes met Todd's as he spoke in a half whisper. "I'll be good, I promise."

Todd smiled, nodding back to him. "I didn't think I had to say all that anyways. You understand now. Definitely."

Taking the palm of his hand, Todd patted the side of Jesse's cheek. Jesse closed his eyes again at that, keeping them closed as Todd fished for his bundle of keys from his pocket. Jesse opened his eyes again as Todd knelt down in front of him. The locks around his ankles clicked open as he pulled them off. Jesse's gaze followed Todd as he stood and took his wrists now. The chains were dropped at his knees and Todd made his way around to Jesse's back. Once the shackles were unlocked from around his waist, Todd tossed them over by the cage door.

He then made his way back in front of Jesse, his eyes glazing over him. Jesse suddenly stiffened when Todd grabbed him by his jaw. It wasn't rough or forceful. It didn't need to be, not anymore. Jesse knew what he was now. He was simply here to do with as Todd seemed fit. And that meant letting him do what he wanted without a fight. Todd raised Jesse's chin up and shifted his face from left and right, studying the grime and dirt covering his skin as he did.

"The trip is pretty long, you'll have to be cleaned up before we leave so we don't have to hide you so much." Todd let go of Jesse and waved him forward. "Come on, I got something for you."

The shower was outside. 'Some kind of work shower' is the only description that Todd could give. It reminded Jesse of those showers by the beach to rinse off sand before you go home. Maybe that was the idea, to rinse of the desert before they went inside. But Jesse doubted any of them used it. He couldn't really picture Jack or the others really caring about their sandy footprints in the house.

Jesse could feel Todd staring at him. He sat on the bench in the shade of the clubhouse. Todd was watching Jesse closely as he soaked his hair, following every move he made. Jesse was relieved he was allowed to keep his boxers on, so at least he had that shred of dignity out here in the open. Not like he had much now a days anyway. Everyone in this compound had found a way to humiliate Jesse in some form. Dignity was a funny word now.

But Jesse didn't want to think about that. He wanted to think about the warm water on his back and the grime sliding off his skin and billowing at his feet before finally disappearing down the drain. He wanted to feel what it was like to be a normal person again who wasn't regularly showered with a fire hose like a car or a warehouse floor. Like he was made of flesh and bone, not plastic or concrete.

If Jesse closed his eyes he could almost forget that he was outside being watched over by Todd. He could picture himself at home in his own shower. Jesse imagined the three walls around him and the glass door off to his left. He imagined the pavement below him was actually white clean tile and it was smooth against the bottoms of his feet. And finally, Jesse imagined he was alone. No one guarding him or taunting him. He was just alone in the shower, cleaning himself up for the new day.

Jesse was snapped out of his simple fantasy when he began using the pungent men's conditioner that Todd had given him. As he lathered it in the soap, Jesse ran his fingers through his hair. It was so long. Longer then it had ever been.

Jesse hated it.

His hair was just something else for them to touch. To grab. To yank. To pull. He hated his hair. He wanted to rip it out piece by piece but that wouldn't go over well with Todd. Jesse would've preferred the pain with his hair to the other option. While Jack's men used it against Jesse, Todd would try and do the opposite. He'd pet it if Jesse had done something good or complemented it on a day he felt the need to, saying it was soft or shiny or that he liked to color. Each one made Jesse sick to his stomach.

One day, Jesse had begged Todd for a pair of scissors so he could cut his hair himself. Todd had said, "Why would you want to do that? I think it looks much better like this."

After that, Jesse didn't ever ask again. That's when he knew any choices about even himself were in the hands of Todd to make for him.

The shower head made a chunk sound as Jesse flipped it off. He looked down and watched the last of his dirt slip down the drain before he looked up at Todd. Now, with the water off, Jesse became cold. He wrapped his arms around himself as he shivered in the cool breeze that blew past the clouded morning sky. Jesse had guessed it was winter. No clue what month it was now, but it was much too cold to be anything else.

He stood there shivering a moment. When Jesse realized Todd was waiting on him, he began making his way across the pavement into the shade.

Jesse stood in front of Todd a second before speaking. "Um...can I get a towel?"

"Oh yeah-" Todd reached over and picked up the clean towel from beside him. He held it out for Jesse to take. "There you go."

Quickly, Jesse wiped his face first. Then he moved to his legs and shoulders before finally not being able to stand the cold anymore and wrapping himself tightly in the towel. He hugged himself together, his eyes squinted shut.

"Here, let me help."

Jesse opened to eyes to see Todd had grabbed another towel. He stood in front of him and draped it over Jesse's head. He flinched for a second before Todd began drying out his soaking hair. He stayed in place as Todd worked on it before finally pulling the towel off.

"There you go." He grinned before dropping the towel back on the bench. Todd then looked over Jesse's hair again before letting out a thoughtful sigh. "Here, let me..."

Jesse stiffened again, gripping his towel like it was some kind of defense as Todd approached him. Todd didn't hesitate to run his fingers through Jesse's hair, smoothing it out and placing it nice and neatly on his head.

When he was done, Todd stepped back to admire his work. A small proud smile on his lips. "There we go. It's fluffy but not too fluffy." His eyes met Jesse's. "I read that in some magazine that woman like it best when you can balance messy hair with neat."

"Makes you look like you're not trying to hard." Jesse nodded.

"Exactly." Todd smiled again. "My hair doesn't really work well with that but yours is like, perfect. Like magazine model perfect."

Jesse wished he had a lighter so he could burn his magazine modelhair right off.

"I also got you some new clothes since we're gonna be out in public." Todd moved back to the bench. "You're gonna need something that's gonna fit you better than my old stuff."

Todd dropped the pile of new clothes in the seat beside him for Jesse to see. Slowly approaching the folded stack, Jesse reached down and picked up a pair of black boxers. A couple seconds went by and Jesse realized Todd wasn't planning on giving him any privacy. So, towel in hand, Jesse maneuvered it at his waist. One hand kept his privacy screen up and the other struggled to make the change. The wet cloth clung to his skin, making the swap much more difficult then it would've been. A few grunts and sighs later, Jesse had finally replaced the old and soaking for the new and dry.

His dignity, debatably, in tact.

Jesse then dropped the towel on the bench and picked up a pair of dark jeans. They were much skinnier then the baggy pants he had and when he slipped them on they fit him perfectly. Jesse caught sight of another proud smile on Todd. Obviously happy he had guessed Jesse's size right. Jesse looped the belt through the jeans and looked down at the shirt. Taking it carefully in his hands, Jesse held it up so he could get a better look at it. It was a black long sleeve with the faint outline of a gray skull printed on the front.

"I remembered you used to wear a lot of dark stuff with skulls on it." Todd nodded. "I thought you might like that one."

"Thanks Todd." Jesse said as he slipped the shirt over.

'Thanks Todd' had become most of Jesse's vocabulary at this point. It didn't matter if he meant it or not, it was just what Jesse said. The words had engraved themselves in his lips and on his tongue. He'd gotten so used to thanking him, Jesse would find himself accidentally saying it to people or things that weren't Todd. If something decent happened to Jesse, anything at all that wasn't immediate pain or torture, Jesse would thank Todd. Cause that's what he was supposed to do. Jesse had started to think that's what he was always meant to do.

His socks and shoes were the same. Just cleaned and washed. Jesse had forgotten his shoes used to be gray. He'd been working with them black for so long he had forgotten the color; much like him, Jesse thought. His shoes were the one thing in this place that belonged to him completely. The one thing they hadn't taken from him. And they too were stained and frayed from being in this place. Jesse was sure if he caught himself in a mirror he would've forgotten what his skin looked like without the dirt and black too.

Jesse turned around to see Todd holding up a leather jacket. It was black with a hood hanging off the back. Todd grinned excitedly as he held out the gift. "I thought you could use a jacket too. Lydia says it's pretty cold down there this time of year." He dropped the jacket in Jesse's hands. "Plus, you've been doing so great lately. Like, A+ work and behaving really, really good; I thought you deserved something cool."

Jesse looked over the jacket. It must've been expensive.

"Thanks Todd."

He slipped it over his shoulders. The cuffs of the sleeves hung past his wrists and the inside of the coat was soft and warm. It was just a couple sizes too big but Jesse didn't mind. He preferred jackets like that anyways. They made him feel like a turtle, protected in his shell that he could easily slip inside if there was danger. Of course that wasn't a real strategy, but the thought of it was nice.

"Pretty badass right?"

"Yeah." Jesse nodded. "Badass."

"I have some more stuff you can wear for the trip in a bag. Everything's packed in the car, you ready?"

Jesse looked up from the jacket. "Yeah." He eyed Todd before giving another short nod. "Yeah, I'm ready."