Have You Ever?

This is usually an interesting drinking game played by a group of people over a bottle of Whiskey or tequila that you shoot or mix with a chaser. In this edition we have one straight edge player shooting sparkling grape juice and three whiskey drinkers.

Darby: "I have to ask. Why play this with me knowing I will remember everything you don't?"

Jessica: "Its as good as truth or dare."

Darby: "Oooh, I love truth or dare. I'm good at that one."

Roxy: "You can't always pick truth either. You have to take our dares."

Darby: "Babe, I do it all. No fears or fucks given here."

Maddie: "So we basically have two Mox present."

Mox: "Can you handle two of us? Only one is sober though."

Roxy: "Sounds like my kind of party."

Jessica: "Hell yeah."

She spins and empty Angry Orchid bottle around to see who goes first and it lands on Darby.

Jessica: "We're breaking in the new guy."

He crawls over and kisses her and Jessica kisses back.

Jessica: "I liked it. Now it's time to pick a challenge from the bowl."

She shakes a bowl full of papers with different stuff written on it folded over so no one could see.

Darby: "My challenge or do I pick a victim to do it."

Jessica: "Its your challenge to do. The bottle picks who."

Darby: "OK. So its random. I get it."

Jessica: "Yeah. So read the challenge and choose your faith. You either do what it says or suffer a consequence."

Darby: "Yeah. My version had to do with hot peppers."

Jessica: "Do you accept?"

Darby: "I accept. Have you ever been embarrassed in public?"

Jessica: "Share with the class. We won't judge because we are drinking."

Everyone takes a shot. Darby looks around at Roxy, Maddie, Mox, Wardlow and Jessica.

Mox: "With all that shit you do on Instagram is it even possible to embarrass you?"

Darby: "Yes it is possible. I remember this one time I was with Priscilla and we were just horsing around wrestling and doing different moves on each other. She got me in some sort of weird ass head scissor thing. My head between her legs and her damn near choking me with her thighs. I, being a man and her being my wife, thought I could entice her into letting me loose by smacking her gently on the ass as a tap out. Well, she let up on the hold alright. But not before we both regretted that particular move."

Jessica: "Dude, seriously? She's squeezing you with her leg muscles of course that's a bad idea. You let up on the squeeze enough she's going to fart and that's not a place for your face."

Darby: "So, is that the voice of experience talking or a bad recap."

Jessica: "I've been accused of doing it on purpose so I relate."

Darby: "In the ring? That's not surprising to me."

Jessica: "You try taking a Coffin Drop or a frog splash from someone who out weighs you and is aiming for your mid section and see how it ends."

Mox: "It all sucks in public with the audience asking for "one more time" like you can just hit rewind and do it again."

Darby: "Yeah. I never experienced anyone landing a Coffin Drop on me other then this 8 year old who mimics me."

Maddie: "Your ex never Coffin dropped you."

Darby: "She tried it a couple times. It was fun. Did Roman try to spear you?"

Maddie: "No. But the sex version of his triple power bomb was hot as hell."

Darby: "Anything to ride that tounge action. I think some women are more fixated on oral sex then guys ever are."

Maddie: "No. A woman will offer up oral sex before a guy even thinks about it."

Darby: "And what women do you know do that? A real gentlemen knows it's a give and take. You both walk away mutually satisfied and wanting each other in the morning."

Jessica: "Have you met the 21st century millennial? They know nothing of the morning after or mutual satisfaction."

Darby: "I'm 28. I was born in 1994. Yeah. I am the 21st century millennial."

Jessica: "Dude, I graduated high school in 1994. My impression of two modern day 20 something year olds trying to date. First of all, the phone is the enemy. Nobody calls to talk to anyone. It's face time or video call on Facebook. They don't talk. They text each other 24/7. They send videos on Instagram or TickTok and that's supposed to be a first impression. They don't go out alone ever. Its group dates and party scenes where its too loud to hear the other one speak. They know nothing other then social media posted information and when they do have a one on one conversation it sounds just like the text messages on their phone. "Omg. You're tods adorbes. We so should hook up. Ok byeeeee." Meanwhile, the real adults are going " Is she fucking brain dead? No thanks. Give me a real guy who speaks English not text talk."

Darby: "Hi. Not the brain dead mule you just described or dating them. I like conversations face to face not over the phone or texting. I answer my messages and return phone calls. I'm old fashioned."

Jessica: "I agree with that. Ok. Who is up next?"

She throws out the question Darby just asked. Darby spins the bottle around and it lands on Mox.

Mox: "OK. I don't have to kiss him, right?"

Roxy: "Only if your both comfortable and yes, cheeks and foreheads count."

Darby: "I've never done this with a dude. So, excuse the Awkwardness."

Mox: "No worries. Cheeks and foreheads count too."

He quickly leans in and pecks his lips.

Mox: "Not totally uncomfortable. That was different."

Darby: "Sober dude kissing. I'd say yeah. It was awkward. But it pretty much wasn't bad."

Roxy: "Should I start singing "You kissed a boy and you liked it" or no."

Mox starts laughing.

Mox: "Shut the fuck up."

Roxy: "Make me."

Mox: "Keep on talking shit and I might."

Roxy: "Not with Darby slobber on you."

Darby: "Ha ha ha. Very funny. I do not give wet sloppy kisses unless I'm fucking around and its usually a lick."