I Don't Belong Here
{Edited: 8/21/13 (but it still sucks)}
This is based off "Creep" by Radiohead, so yeah.
(Kendall's POV)
I wanted to look him right in the eye and tell him, but I just couldn't. He could never love me.
Logan is just like an angel; pale, soft skin, those deep chocolate eyes. He always looks so fragile. It makes me cry thinking he could be hurt. He floats through his life. The world is beautiful through his eyes. It's hell through mine. He's so fucking special, and he doesn't even realize it.
"Creep! Weirdo!" my mind tells me. I'm not deserving of this life. What the hell am I doing, wasting my time dreaming about a boy who likes girls? A fag like me doesn't belong here.
I'm getting what I want: Logan. He may not love me, but I love him, and I can't wait any longer. Just this once, I'll get what I've dreamed of.
"Hey, Logan," I call mock-innocently as I walk into our bedroom.
"Yeah?" he asks, hopping off of his bed to face me.
"I have something to tell you."
"Oh?" he wonders, stepping slowly toward me.
I grab his wrists, pinning him up against the door. I look at his face, horrified and frozen with shock.
"I want you," I whisper, thrusting my hips into his.
He shivers, trying to push me off.
"K-Kendall," he squeaks, "I-I…"
"Hush," I command, biting at his lips.
For a moment, I recognize that I'm really hurting him, someone who I love, but I ignore it. I need this; I need him. He continues trying to push me away, but his strength is much lesser than my own. I pull him to his bed, straddling him and covering his jaw line with bites and kisses.
I whisper in his ear, "You don't know how long I've wanted to do this for," as I begin to pull down his jeans. I rip off his and unbutton my own jeans, pulling them off along with my boxers. I begin to rub Logan through his boxers. He continues crying and writhing under me, an almost heartbreaking thing, as I pull of his boxers completely.
"I love you, Logie, but I need to do this," I whisper as I line myself up with his entrance and push in with one swift movement. Slowly, I begin to thrust in and out of him.
"Stop, Kendall" he screams almost inaudibly, "I-It hurts."
"I don't care if it hurts," I whisper back harshly, "I want to have control." He whimpers, but I ignore it. I need this perfect body of his, the one holding the possibly even more perfect soul that I've envied for so long.
I thrust in harder, faster, deeper, making him scream and writhe and sweat. I try to imagine that they're screams of pleasure, but who am I kidding? He's definitely not enjoying this.
Then it hits me again. "Creep! Weirdo! You shouldn't do this. You love him! What the hell are you doing?" I pull out slowly, gently kissing his lips and whispering, "I'm sorry" nervously countless times. I redress myself without another word. He slowly and timidly gets up to dress himself as well, staring at me, frightened, with those deep and innocent eyes, almost making me get lost in them yet another time.
"Don't speak of it," I warn, walking out of the room.
Nobody else is home, but I can't stay alone with Logan, so I grab the keys to the BTR-mobile and head out the door. I don't know where I'm going, but I sure as hell can't stay here. I don't belong here.