We Play Pretend
By: Aviantei
An Ao no Exorcist One Shot
[Twelve Shots of Summer 2/12]
Renzo walks into the room, acting like nothing's wrong, and Izumo glares at him like she wants nothing more than to castrate him. It's been this same sort of routine for every day the past two weeks: Renzo does all sorts of nice things like bring Izumo food and take her to clean herself up and actually give her human conversation that isn't about experiments on her bloodline, and she still hates his guts.
It's exactly the sort of thing that shouldn't bother him, but Renzo knows that there's still a tiny part of him hanging onto the feelings of a façade he should have already abandoned.
The feelings that Renzo has for Izumo aren't easily compartmentalized. They start out as half part of his act and half not, considering that despite his detest for the rest of the world, girls aren't all that bad. The rest falls in line with his orders; if he's supposed to be keeping an eye on Kamiki Izumo and learning about her, it's easiest to hide that desire underneath the act of a crush.
But before long it's a little bit more than that, and half of the attempts to woo Izumo are part of a way to gain her trust and half because it's a bit too cute watching her pull off her usual tsundere routine. Renzo puts a little bit more and more into his mask of affections for her day after day, and it's a bit hard to see through the blurred lines of how much is genuine and how much is the lie.
"Hey there, Izumo-chan," Renzo says, almost singing. He puts a smile on his face because it's how Izumo knew him beforehand, even if now she knows it's all just a ruse. Still, Renzo keeps up the act, mainly because it's easiest this way. "I brought you some dinner."
And sure enough, just like always, Izumo just scowls even more. Renzo grips onto the tray he's holding just a little bit harder than necessary. He doesn't know why, but sometimes Izumo just so happens to be the type of person he wants to knock out. That sort of thing would definitely get him in trouble, though, so he holds back.
"Come on, don't be that way," Renzo coaxes. He hooks his foot around the leg of the only other chair in the room and drags it over beside Izumo's. She doesn't look any friendlier than usual, but Renzo takes a chance to joke anyway. "You're acting a bit crankier. Were the experiments rougher today?"
Izumo scoffs. "I thought your whole goal in visiting me was not to remind me of what's going on," she says, eyebrows furrowed.
Renzo can't help but smile a little bit at her words. "Ah, but it gets you to talk, doesn't it?" Izumo almost pouts, even if it doesn't match the situation at all. "Besides, judging by the way you always look at me when I come in, I'm guessing that I don't help at all."
"You got that right. I'd rather have that pig of a scientist take care of me instead of you."
Izumo's feelings for Renzo are a bit harder for him to figure out, no matter how hard he tries. It takes some time, but eventually she builds up a grudging respect for him as a teammate, which is a good start. Really, that's all he should have been aiming for. Still, much like his own feelings, what Renzo ends up wanting from Izumo ends up being a bit beyond his control.
Renzo's alright at reading people sometimes, so it stands that he should be able to read Izumo alright, too, especially with all the time he's been studying her. It's a little bit troublesome because of all the effort she puts into shutting other people out, but finally Renzo gets a bit of a grip on it. Despite the fact that she doesn't want to, Izumo at the very least starts to regard him as a friend, which isn't too far from but at least better than designated teammate.
If it's only taken a few months to get past her first layer of barriers, Renzo wants to know how much more effort it would take to get even closer. Sure, she puts up a tough act, but after a little bit of time, it couldn't be that difficult. Izumo's the type of girl that would shoot Renzo down for years, but eventually give in in the end. They could date, get married even. It would be easy for them to live out that sort of story.
It doesn't change the fact that there's just not enough time.
Renzo does his best to make his wince look more like a faked production. "Oh, come on, you don't mean that, Izumo-chan," he says. The laugh that burbles up his throat is almost hollow. "At least I treat you like a person. He's just a few centimeters away from calling you livestock."
"I don't care," Izumo says, and Renzo knows she means it. "I really don't care, Shima, so why don't you drop the act? You can stop saying my name like that, too. Really, this whole thing just gets more and more disgusting by the day."
Renzo can't help it; his smile drops into a frown within seconds. He's been working so hard to get her approval, even if it's in a less than ideal way, and she just pushes this onto him. "Okay, fine, it's an act," he admits. Izumo's eyes widen a bit, like she wasn't expecting him to give in so easily. "So what if it is? It's been for your sake, you know. You can't blame me for thinking, maybe, you'd want a little bit of something to make you forget what's happening to you."
"I can't just forget!" It's the first time Izumo's let her anger show in weeks. Renzo doesn't care. It's better than the near unresponsive girl that he's been stuck force-feeding day in and day out because she won't even accept food from him. He shouldn't, but he wants more of it. "I don't know what you get to do every damn day, Shima, but I have that shitty scientist trying to force some summoning out of me. I have to sit in this room without even being able to move on my own. And worst of all I have to deal with you coming in and acting like everything's the same as always when it's not!"
Renzo raises an eyebrow, impressed. "That's some pretty foul language for such a cute girl, Izumo-chan," he trills.
Izumo's eyes only narrow more. "Oh, fuck you," she growls out.
Renzo chuckles, but keeps the obvious lewd comment to himself. He shouldn't be encouraging this sort of behavior, but it's the most alive Izumo's acted since she tried to escape. "Look, I know I can't fix any of it. I'm just trying to give you an out, here. I guess it's like a fantasy."
Izumo only stares at him. Renzo hopes that she still has some sort of energy left in her to respond.
He leans back in his chair, making sure the probably by now less than warm tray of food doesn't slip off his legs. "I don't know if I ever really liked you, Izumo-chan. By now, the lines between what I really feel and what I make myself feel are too hard to read."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Izumo retorts. There's still a harshness in her voice, but it's regressed a little, and her volume has decreased. Through the top layers, Renzo can pick up a hint of curiosity.
"It's a disclaimer, I guess. Just so you know that there's a chance my feelings aren't completely honest." Izumo only rolls her eyes, like that much should be obvious. Renzo can't blame her for the reaction. "Even so, there's part of me that wants to pretend like it is, just so I can be closer to you. Between me and you, I think we could really block out everything from the Illuminati to the Knights of the True Cross if we tried hard enough."
Izumo pauses, like she's actually thinking about what he's saying. Renzo can't help but look back to her while she does. "So what you're saying is that you want to just sit around and pretend like nothing ever happened."
"Pretty much," Renzo confirms.
"Like you didn't kidnap me, like you didn't kill Uke and Mike, like it's not your fault I'm here," Izumo lists off. "Is that what you're telling me, Shima? 'Cause if it is, it's not like that'll be easy if it even is possible."
"I never said that it would be." The seriousness in Renzo's tone probably surprises him more than it does Izumo, even if it has to be a close one. "But I think that by trying to forget is the only way I'm going to be able to accept the world I'm living in and move on from it." He looks Izumo in the eye, and by some chance, she doesn't avoid it. "I think that it's the only way for you, too."
The scowl comes back to Izumo's face with full force. "You're really selfish, you know," she says. It was probably meant to be a denial, but Renzo can easily hear the but lingering at the end of her words. It occurs to him that this is easy, even when it shouldn't be, not after everything, but the sigh coming from Izumo's mouth lets him know that it is. "Though I'm selfish, too," Izumo continues, closing her eyes. "Whatever you had in mind, I don't care. Let's just make it go away."
"Okay," Renzo says, and the only thing he can think to start with is bringing his lips to hers.
It's nothing like the kisses that he's imagined before, but he can pretend that it is. Whatever Izumo's decided on, Renzo doesn't care. The fact right now is that he can at least act it out, pretend that these feelings are real, and it won't matter if they're not. For now, it's just him and Izumo, and whatever happens once he goes back to the outside world can be damned.
"I love you," he whispers, even if he knows the words are a lie, even if those words could break everything. He wills them to be true, and so they are.
"Yeah," Izumo says, the notes that make up her voice sounding like they're about to crack, "I love you, too."
I am the only one that took the Twelve Shots of Summer prompt and made it this angsty. Not sure how I feel about that.
Um, since you probably can't tell, the prompt was "Romance Most Contrived." (coughs) As it was, the easiest option was to write a parody or commentary on relationships that have no business existing (which I almost did with KagePro). However, I was struck with the idea of "Hey, what if the characters are the ones contriving the romance! Shit, let's go with that!" and then Renzo and Izumo happened and this was the result.
In summation, I'm not allowed to write happy things with Renzo involved. Apparently like, ever.
I have several mixed feelings about Renzo and Izumo as a couple, particularly given the developments in canon over the past year. When Renzo "saved" Izumo from Takara, I was really about to go all out with shipping, and then the traitor bombshell dropped. Now, I'm stuck in the same trap as I am with Shuuya where I don't know what Renzo says is true or not 'cause he's a liar, so I just improvise. One of my possible theories is what I used here: Renzo fakes it for his mission then it gets a bit out of hand to the point that even he doesn't know if it's real or not.
I'm not completely convinced by this interpretation, but I still like it nonetheless.
This is my second entry in the Twelve Shots of Summer challenge. If you're interested in what it's all about or just want to read something not as depressing as this, there are several options for you over on the forum (since I'm the only one that didn't write something reasonable). Feel free to sign up, too, if you feel like it! Everyone there is a wonderful person and we'd be glad to have you!
The next prompt is "Tea Party." The idea I have in mind should be...interesting to say the least.
[POST] 061814