"You heading back to the bloodsuckers?" Leah asked me.
"Maybe," I answered carefully.
"It's hard for you to be there, but hard to stay away, too. I know how that feels." Leah continued. As if she understood what I was going through. To see Bella and that...that bloodsucker together all happy, it disgusts me. That should be ME and Bella. Not the leech and Bella.
"You know, Leah, you might want to think a little bit about the future, about what you really want to do. My head isn't gonna be the happiest place on Earth. And you'll have to suffer right along with me." I responded. Wolves in the same pack have wolf telepathy, we can read each other's thoughts. We can't talk as wolves so we think what we want to say and that's how wolves talk. I'm the Alpha of my pack, which consists of Seth and Leah Clearwater. Seth is Leah's younger brother, a nice kid. Leah and my ex-pack leader (Sam Uley) were together until he imprinted on Leah's cousin Emily Young.
Imprinting isn't like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it's not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother, maybe even a father.
Leah thought about how to answer me. "Wow, this is gonna sound bad. But, honestly, it'll be easier to deal with your pain than to face mine."
"Fair enough," I replied. We were thinking all of this because we were in our wolf forms.
"I know it's going to be bad for you, Jacob. I understand that - maybe better than you think. I don't like her, but...she's your Sam. She's everything you want and everything you can't have." I couldn't answer. Maybe she did understand me better than I thought.
"I know it's worse for you. At least Sam is happy. At least he's alive and well. I love him enough that I want that. I want him to have what's best for him." She sighed. "I just don't want to stick around and watch..."
"Do we need to talk about this?" I thought with a little ferocity.
"I think we do. Because I want you to know that I won't make it worse for you. Hell, maybe I'll even help. I wasn't born a compassionless shrew. I used to be sort of nice, you know."
"My memory doesn't go that far back." We both laughed once.
"I'm sorry about this, Jacob. I'm sorry you're in pain. I'm sorry it's getting worse and not better."
"Thanks, Leah." I felt happier after that.