Contrary to popular opinion, my name is not "What Is It Now?" or "Oh No! Not Him Again!" I am called Zazu, a respectable name quite fitting for the king's majordomo, for it means movement. I am the king's eyes and ears throughout his realm. I am the voice of the king to his loyal subjects and the voice of concerned or admiring subjects to their rightful king.
I have few friends. My family disowned me as soon as I was appointed a position in the king's court. They despise me because they have grown jealous of my status. I believe my mother may feel pride in my accomplishments, but she's become a bit senile with age, so it's difficult to tell what her true opinions may be.
Being the king's majordomo is a tremendous honor and a great responsibility, but it is not without its risks. In my service at court, I have been trampled, sat upon by a rhino, scalded in a geyser, nearly eaten alive, imprisoned, plucked, falsely accused, temporarily demoted, frequently ignored, daily insulted, used as an object for pouncing demonstrations, struck, flung, kicked, pecked, burned, bruised, poisoned, concussed, sprained, fractured, bitten, clawed, buried alive, nearly drowned, beaten, impaled, mocked, tortured, hanged, knocked unconscious, and nearly decapitated. On a few occasions, I feared I would even be fired.
As King Simba has only recently returned to reign after a lengthy absence, he will no doubt benefit from hearing a full report of all his loyal subjects before I begin giving my thrice daily reports (morning, afternoon, and evening), especially since the herds have at last returned to the Pride Lands.