I won't stop looking. The relationships and connections are always clear. It's just a matter of finding the right one. But, as always, research is an inverse bell curve of certainty. I begin by knowing what I long for, and there is always a length of uncertainty until I know how to obtain it.
There is a cure for the insufferable disease that is ignorant life, and I intend to find it. Every struggle they make to survive is another sin against science and progress. I will see to it that one day, there will be no more fools.
I am prepared to create that cleansing plague.
I thought differently, once. He still shines brightly in her eyes. When I see her, I see promise, as well as memories of a sickening optimism and a heart, my heart, that thought there could be more to life than just progress.
Dr. Paquette: such a brilliant mind. I would stare into his eyes and see the stars explode, knowing the depth of thoughts and creation that lay behind them. And I would often crack a smile at his turn of phrase, even if it was a tad clichéd at times. Watching him work was like seeing the gods of old envision and manifest entire worlds. Science was but paper in his masterful hands, always being reshaped into a practical origami. He was the closest I ever came to believing in the primal concept of "soulmates," and I cherished every moment we worked together.
When I saw him, I saw his promise, and it instilled within me a quickening optimism, injected in a heart that once thought there was nothing more in life than progress. He still shines so brightly in her eyes. It's still hard to believe I was in love, once.
I was not prepared for when the sickness came.
I could no longer see that day when we would be lovestruck old fools. Every struggle he made to survive was a burden to my heart and soul. There was no cure for the suffering disease that took his incredible life, although I had once hoped to find it.
It ended in knowing I longed for him, but there was only that one certainty left after I knew I had lost him. As always, love is a bell curve of happiness. It's just a matter of time until it all is lost. New relationships and connections could still be clear. But I've stopped looking.