It had felt the most natural thing in the world, Helen mused as she lay in bed later that night, to entwine her fingers with James' as he had walked her back to the church door to meet her father and Jenny. It had been the same the night before. She'd barely even realised her hand was resting on James' shoulder until his fingers were entwined with hers. They were just drawn to each other. Helen wiped a solitary tear from her cheek. Her emotions were a maelstrom, and she'd been on the edge of tears ever since she'd told Hugh that she couldn't marry him. She inhaled, closing her eyes, trying not to relive that moment when she'd had to say that no, she couldn't do this. It had grieved her to see the surprise, the alarm and then the pain in Hugh's expression. They were old friends and she hated herself for hurting him, but it wasn't enough. She couldn't deny her affection for James any longer. He'd never stepped out of line, not once. He'd been the epitome of quiet support, but she knew when James looked at her that he felt the same way she did. And James had known, had come to find her, to console her, somehow managing to reassure her that he felt the same way without stepping beyond the limits of chivalry. Just before they'd left the church in the aftermath, they'd turned to each other, and he'd pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "It will be alright, Helen," he'd murmured, and she'd sighed as they leant their foreheads together, savouring a quiet moment together before her father had come to retrieve her and take her home.
Three days after Christmas, Jenny had pleaded to be allowed to go to Darrowby with their father to run errands and Helen had agreed, grateful for the routine of farm life and the quiet of having the house to herself. After the front door had closed, Helen had made herself a large mug of tea and sat down at the kitchen table, taking a few moments for herself. Her eyes filled with tears momentarily and she sniffed, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She knew she was being pathetic, but she didn't care. She couldn't very well sit around moping but she could have a sit down while she drank her tea. When she'd finished her tea, she set the cup down in the sink and went out into the yard. The chickens raced to her, pecking round her feet and trilling at her, optimistic that she would feed them. Helen went into the stables, and retrieved an apron full of grain, which she scattered to her flock, almost on auto pilot. A movement in the distance caught her eye, and she frowned, squinting in the direction of the road. Her breath caught in her throat as she recognised the car. It paused just before the turning for the farm, and Helen waited to see whether it would continue or turn up the driveway. She leant on the gate, allowed it to take her weight, trying to pretend she wasn't shaking, and inhaled slowly as the car made its way up the driveway. After what felt like an eternity, the car came to a halt, lurching slightly as the handbrake was applied, and Helen swallowed hard as the driver stepped out.
"I was just on my way back from the Chapmans," James said by way of explanation, as he came to stand in front of her, and Helen couldn't help but smile to see him, even if her hands had an inexplicable tremor running through them. "How are they doing?" Helen asked, her tone affectionate, for she was genuinely fond of the couple. "Well. The pups are grand, and the Chapmans seem delighted," James replied "they've named the pup after spices." Helen smiled broadly at the notion. "Oh?" she enquired and James smiled easily. "Nutmeg, Ginger, Clove, Pepper and Bay," he informed her, eyes dancing and Helen smiled to herself. "Those are lovely names," she replied softly and he nodded. "How are you?" James enquired in the same soft tones and she met his gaze steadily for a few moments. "I'm alright," she said and they shared a smile. "Good," James said, his gaze still resting on her and Helen felt her cheeks grow a little pink at the intensity of his gaze. "It's good to see you," James said after a few moments had passed and Helen considered him carefully before smiling at him, suddenly shy. "Yes," she murmured and their gaze met. "Where do we go from here?" James wondered, head slightly cocked but his gaze very much focussed on her and Helen leant on the gate, allowing it to take her weight as she considered her answer. "I honestly don't know," Helen owned, at length and James sighed. "I know this can't be easy for you," he said, longing to take her in his arms and hold her close. Helen sighed and James considered her, his hands shoved in his pockets. "It can't be easy for you either," Helen reminded him and he glanced away for a moment. "I just want to be with you," James said steadily "and I think you feel the same way. We're drawn to each other in a way I can't explain. So take all the time you need. I'll wait." They considered each other for a few more moments before Helen relented, and opened the gate to come and stand in front of him. She held out her hands to him and he captured them within his, caressing her fingers. "Thank you," Helen said softly and they smiled at each other. "Are you here by yourself?" James asked, frowning slightly and Helen nodded. "Dad took Jenny into Darrowby to run some errands," she explained and James' expression softened at the mention of Helen's mischievous little sister. "The farm always keeps me busy," Helen observed and James entwined their fingers more closely. "Of course," he demurred and Helen smiled. "I should get on," she said and James sighed. "And so should you. Siegfried won't be happy if he finds you dallying," Helen reminded him. "I just wanted to see you, even if it was only for a few moments," James confessed and Helen smiled. James squeezed her fingers again and made as though to withdraw, but Helen held onto his fingers. He looked at her curiously, and Helen tiptoed up to press a kiss to his cheek. "I do feel the same way," she murmured and he grinned immediately, instinctively. "I'm glad," he replied, his eyes dropping to her lips momentarily as she touched his cheek with her thumb, and his free hand came to rest on her waist. "Can I kiss you?" he asked in a hushed tone and Helen lifted her chin in response, meeting his kiss, cupping his cheek as she returned it. At length they drew apart, fingers still entwined and they smiled at each other. "Can I see you soon?" James asked hopefully and Helen nodded. "Yes," she said simply and James grinned boyishly. "Go on you," Helen said affectionately and he kissed her again before squeezing her hand, and turning back towards the car.