AN- So it's been forever since I read the books I'm currently re-reading as the tv show has re awakened my love for the books. I got this idea not sure how it will work or where it will go. So Review and let me know what you guys think.
Nothing is ever lost or can be lost,
The body,sluggish, aged and cold,
The embers left from earlier fires,
The light in the eyes grow dim,
Shall dully flame again. -Walt Whitman.
Alec smiled over at Magnus as they walked together hand and hand. They had left little Max with Jace and Clary for a few hours so they could have a date night. Magnus hadn't realize how much work having a baby would be even though they were together every night Magnus felt like he and Alec didn't get much time for just themselves. It was a hard adjustment to go through, most couples had nine months to get used to the idea of having a child they hadn't even had nine minutes of preparation for a child.
Magnus had never really thought about having children or even raising one the idea never even crossed his mind. The most he had ever come to thinking about kids was having a cat, but never a real live baby that he needed every ounce of Alec's attention and even his own. Magnus wouldn't change the decision even if he could, he loved having a son with Alec and he loved that they were a family, but sometimes he missed spending a whole Sunday without the couple even leaving their bed.
He loved the way Alec was with the baby so caring, so soft. Seeing the baby in Alec's arms always made Magnus feel a way he never thought he could. He had always known he loved Alec but seeing him with the baby made him love the man even more. Especially because the child was a warlock and Alec didn't see the baby as anything but a baby in need of a home. He smiled just thinking of how open-minded Alec was, how he didn't seem to care that his whole family was downworlders. Alec was a child of the angles, but didn't let that blind him.
In all his years Magnus had always wanted to find someone to love him and for him to love. Many times he came close and a few people had loved him the way he had loved them, but in the end they had chose to move on to have a 'real' life with someone. In the end everyone always chose to leave him, in the end his heart was always broken. He knew he would lose Alec one day, but he knew it would never be because Alec chose to leave.
"I love you." Magnus said stopping and pulled Alec to him so they were chest to chest.
"I love you too." Alec told him. He leaned forward and kissed Magnus.
Magnus loved kissing Alec because unlike any of his past relationships kissing someone had always felt like the passion fell away with every kiss. Yet with Alec every kiss felt like the first one. Every kiss made him fall more and more in love with his partner. No one had ever made him feel this way and Magnus had kissed a lot of people in his long life.
Thinking back on that moment in his life Magnus wished he hadn't been so wrapped up in loving Alec, because perhaps if he had then he would have known what was to come next. He would have known in only moments his life would be ripped apart.
Alec loved every part of being wrapped in Magnus's arms. It was hard to believe a few years ago he never would have thought this possible. A few years ago he would have thought being wrapped in a warlocks arms let alone a man's was a dirty deed. If he had seen this in his past he would have thought it gross thought it wrong. He hated how for so long he had believed everything his family tried to teach him. Caring for any downworlders was wrong, loving men was wrong. He had believed for so long he was dirt, he was wrong. He grew up hating himself for the way he felt he hated his feelings that he fought everyday.
It took a long time for him to fully understand he was different then Jace, different then most shadow hunters his age. When he realized his feelings for his best friend he was only thirteen years old and he had cried himself to sleep realizing what those feelings meant. He lived each day hating himself, never thinking he was worthy of anything. Perhaps that was why he always put everyone else first why he always had Jace's and Izzy's back because he didn't see the point in having someone watch his. In a way deep down he knew he wanted a demon to sneak up on him, to take him out so he wouldn't have the feelings he did, so he could escape the pain he lived in.
He learned to hate himself and hate every fantasy that came to his mind that is until he met Magnus. The warlock had unlocked a whole new world to the young shadow hunter. Even if it started out slow Magnus was always kind to him, always slow enough always thinking about him. Magnus was the first one to put him first, to see him over Jace and Izzy. Magnus was the first that didn't want Jace, didn't want Izzy, but him. Only back then Alec had still thought his feelings were wrong especially when he began to realize he was attracted to a warlock.
Being attracted to a downworlders was frowned upon and greatly disproved of among shadow hunters, but being gay was worse. Being gay and attracted to a downworlders just wasn't done. Alec had hid everything from those he cared about, or he thought he did. When it came down to it Jace had always known Alec was gay and so did Izzy. It didn't faze them, they still loved him and they were happy for him when he realized that being gay didn't make him an awful person. They also didn't care he was falling for a warlock.
In the end his whole family had decided to love him instead of push him away. They didn't care who Alec loved because they loved him and if he loved Magnus then they accepted it. They had even approved of Alec adopting the young warlock boy wanting him to even name the baby after his late little brother. They decided to chose loving their son over hundreds of years of prejudice the shadowhunters always had.
Life was good right now that much Alec knew. He loved living with Magnus he loved having a son with him. He loved how accepting his family was he couldn't complain about anything he had in his life right now. "As much as I love being out with you right now." Alec told his lover. "I think it's time we head home."
Magnus smiled at Alec his face close enough that just a slight tilt of his head would cause their lips to touch. "Is that so?" he asked.
"I bet Jace and Clary are in above their heads." Alec whispered.
"They need the practice." Magnus whispered. "Now that they have their little accident on the way."
"That's not a nice thing to say." Alec's eyes fell to Magnus lips. Magnus pushed up against Alec more but didn't respond, he slid his arms down Alec's back and just grinned at him.
They kissed again, a kiss that Magnus would remember forever. In the moment he never would have known how important that kiss was, how much he would go back and reply the kiss over and over in his mind. He would reply this moment in his mind time and time again, hoping praying it would play out different. Yet each time it would always end the same. This would be the last kiss they shared.
In all the years Magnus had been alive he had lost many people he cared about, but his heart never broke the way it did when he lost Alec. He never knew he could feel that kind of pain. He had held many people as they left the world because many people he loved had died in front of him before, but watching the life leave Alec had been the hardest.
This kiss hinted that when they got home and when little Max was asleep they would stay up a little extra late and enjoy each other's company, but that promise would never come. Magnus heard a noise that sounded like flesh ripping and in that moment Alec's kiss grew stiff. Alec gasped breaking the kiss a look Magnus had never seen in Alec's eyes washed over those beautiful blue eyes. For a moment the warlock was confused he didn't know what happened. Alec began to fall away Magnus tried to hold on to him, but he was too heavy. Alec fell to his knees as he held his stomach. Magnus stumbled back slightly looking down he felt a small pain and noticed something had stabbed him too, but it hadn't gone far only a simple flesh wound for Magnus, but Alec wasn't a simple flesh wound. In horror Magnus realized someone, something had stabbed Alec straight through the stomach.
Magnus fell to his knees as he grabbed Alec as Alec began to fall. Magnus guided Alec to the ground his head in his lap softly as fear began to grip him. He looked around, but saw no one, felt no one. He put his hand over Alec's wound and began to heal it, but it wasn't working. He tried pouring all his magic into Alec, but the wound wasn't healing it wasn't even attempting to heal.
"No, no, no." Magnus began to chant, this couldn't be happening. Alec's blood was pouring onto the ground Magnus was kneeling in it now staining his designer clothing, but he didn't care. All he cared about was Alec and that was far to much blood to be coming out of him.
"It's not working." Alec gasped as he grabbed Magnus's hand, "It's not going to work."
"No." Was all Magnus could say, tears were beginning to form in his eyes. He was losing him he was losing his Angel.
"I love you." He gasped, "And Max. Tell him I love him."
"You tell him yourself." Magnus tried to say calmly, "You're going to be fine, and we are going to go home."
"Jace." He chocked. "Tell him, I'm-" he coughed blood began falling from his mouth, "I love him and I'm sorry for leaving."
"You aren't leaving." Magnus told him, "You can't leave me."
"We knew this coming." Alec moved his hand with great effort and stroked Magnus's cheek, "It just came earlier then we thought."
"We were supposed to have years." Magnus couldn't stop the tears now. "You were supposed to die an old man in our bed."
Alec gave a weak bloody smile, "You taught me how to live Magnus." His voice was only a soft whisper now, "Thank you." As the words left his mouth his hand fell away from Magnus's face hitting the ground heavy. "I love you." His voice whispered fading away.
"No!" Magnus yelled, "Alec! Alec." But Alec's head fell to the side and Magnus saw his chest stop struggling to rise. "Come back to me." He whispered he never wished someone could come back to him like he did right now. "ALEC!" he yelled.
An anger began to fill him and anger he couldn't control, his magic began to pour out of him as he tried time and time again to heal Alec's broken body, this couldn't be the end, this couldn't be how their story ended. They had been through so much, seen to much to end like this.
"Magnus!" a voice yelled behind him "Alec I felt-" Jace's voice broke away as he saw Magnus holding Alec's body. "No." he whispered, "It can't be."
Magnus couldn't hear Jace or rather he didn't care his magic was flowing out of him, it had been a long time since he lost control like this, he had only been a child the last time he lost control. He could hear Jace calling him, but it was as if he was miles away. And then a green light seemed to blind him for a moment and a strong heat made Magnus fall backwards. When he could see again he could feel Jace by his side. He looked to where Alec's body had been, but there was only a pile of ashes. Magnus wasn't sure what happened perhaps the magic that he had lost control of kept trying to heal Alec until it burned up his body Magnus didn't know. He just shook he shook as the tears fell from his eyes. Alec was gone. Alec was gone.
Two years had gone by and Magnus still felt like it was yesterday that he held Alec in his arms. The only thing that had kept him going since Alec's death was little Max the baby was the last part of Alec that he had. Sure Max wasn't the biological son of Alec, but he held Alec's last name and he held everything Alec had hoped for their future together. Magnus had to go on for the baby, their baby.
It was harder then he thought raising the child, he had thought having a baby when it was the two of them was hard, but being a single father was by far more challenging then having his partner by his side. The Lightwoods helped when they could, but Magnus couldn't help but feel Alec's parents blamed him for the death of their son, Magnus hadn't been able to save him. Thinking back to the day he lost his lover he still couldn't figure out why he hadn't been able to heal him or what had attacked them that night. He cursed himself for not paying more attention to what was going on that day. That night, that kiss. Magnus played it over and over in his mind trying to pick up on details that could help him, but he was so wrapped up in being in Alec's arms, kissing him he hadn't sensed anything, felt anything other then Alec.
"Papa." Max said running up to him, "Home!" the little boy was excited as Magnus walked through the front door. Izzy was close behind him smiling at seeing how much the little boy loved his father.
"Yes." Magnus said scooping up the child a smile coming to his face, a smile that only Alec and Max could bring to him. Alec was gone now so the only one that could bring forth the smile was little Max.
"He has been wanting you all day." Izzy spoke.
"I missed you too my little blue berry." Magnus spoke looking at his son.
Izzy picked up her coat, "Thanks for letting me watch him." Izzy said.
"No thank you, the usual sitter backed out last second thanks for coming short notice." It was still hard to see Izzy at times. Every time Magnus looked at her he thought of Alec he thought of how much he had failed the girl by not keeping her brother alive.
"I missed him." Izzy said, "any time you need me I'll be here."
"It will be harder for you to keep up with him in the months to come." Magnus said looking at her stomach. Her once provocative clothing was gone now in exchange for a more respectable outfit that still showed off her body, but in a classy way revealing a slight bump where her and Simon's child was now growing.
Izzy smiled and put her hand on her stomach, but her smile faded for a moment and Magnus knew it was because she thought of Alec, her brother who would never know his nephew.
"I'm sorry." Magnus said softly his heart hurting again.
"There is nothing you have to be sorry for." Izzy told him, "That night wasn't your fault, you have to stop blaming yourself. Shadowhunters die young." She tried to make it sound reasonable why Alec had died, that they all should have been ready for it, but he knew it was her way of trying to stay strong, her way of coping.
Magnus nodded his head, but he knew Alec died to young, he missed out on so much. "How are the others?" Magnus asked he hadn't seen much of Jace or Clary since Alec's death. Clary still dropped by from time to time, but Jace didn't take losing Alec well. Jace blamed himself he said he should have always been there for Alec and it left a hole within the young shadowhunter it was almost as if a part of Jace had died that night.
Izzy shrugged, "They put on a good front, but I don't know something feels off." She told him, "Jace isn't the same and Clary I don't know if she can take much more. Jace is hardly home, always hunting always trying to find who ever it was that-" she stopped before she said 'killed Alec.'
Magnus nodded his head knowing where she was going, "They will work it out." He said, but he wasn't sure if that was the truth or not. Izzy nodded her head agreeing with him.
"Anyways, I should head home. Simon will be wanting dinner." She said. Magnus smiled,
"You mean you want dinner and Simon will cook it?"
Izzy gave him a playful dare, "I don't see why none of you ever want me to cook I'm not that bad."
"Let's ask the expert." Magnus grinned, "Max how is Aunt Izzy's cooking."
Max wrinkled his nose, "Yucky."
"Thanks little guy." Izzy pretended to glare at him, but couldn't hold back the smile. She looked up at Magnus then, "Call me if you need anything." She told him, "You are still family."
Magnus nodded his head as the girl put her jacket on and left leaving Magnus alone with his son.
He couldn't get the image out of his mind it was never a full image and often came to him when he was sleeping, but he could remember dark hair, dark skin and a smile, a smile that made him smile. It was warm it was inviting it was home.
And the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen eyes that made no sense. It was almost like an image that would haunt him both day and night. The look in the eyes seemed to be pleading, begging, but for what he didn't know.
He sighed and rolled over in his bed glancing next to him he frowned, Laia wasn't there. That didn't matter often he tossed and turned too much and Laia would get up and start cleaning the house or doing some other chore that hadn't been done that day.
He looked up at the ceiling thinking of Laia's eyes they were brown and normal nothing like the enchanted eyes he saw in his sleep, Laia's hair was blonde there was no hint of dark anywhere. He loved Laia with all his heart, but the image of dark hair and enchanting eyes wouldn't stop playing in his mind. Laia had a beautiful smile, but it wasn't the lips he dreamt about.
A noise from the doorway made him turn his head to see his wife walking into the room.
"You're up." Laia said smiling as she climbed onto the bed. She then brushed some hair out of his face and put a soft smile, "You were tossing and turning all night."
"Sorry." He muttered
"No need to be sorry, I just wanted to see if you were alright." She paused, "Nightmares again?"
"I'm fine, I promise." he replied kissing her as he grinned and glanced down placing his hand on Laia's stomach, "How did I get so lucky to have a beautiful wife like you, with a baby on the way?"
Laia grinned, "Some guys have all the luck." She leaned down and kissed him and he pulled her down on top of him she let out a squeal as her husband surprised her.
AN-So what do you guys think worth continuing?