He was an enigma. Quiet and reserved, somehow keeping to himself most of the time, and yet, the center of attention when surrounded by people. He moved with precision and a hint of hesitation, similar to when the sun's rays would peak through dark clouds after torrential rain. Some would mistake this as confidence, but Katara knew it was a shield, put there to protect his secrets.

She sat at a table a few feet away from him, watching his movements with unapologetic eyes. He was wearing a simple crewneck shirt that seemed to accentuate his biceps, and she could see the muscles move as he laughed, clapping his hands. She bit her lip, eyes trailing lazily down over his face, his sharp, angular jaw, to the pulse on his throat, the pale skin shining like marble. She assumed he was talking with a few of his classmates. She could hear his voice clearly over the chatter around her, rough and low, like it hadn't been used in centuries.

Katara watched as he crossed his arms over his chest, and the muscles on his back tightened. She forced herself to look down at her book, to hide the flush of her face, conceal her wandering gaze. She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head, trying to clear her mind of any lewd thoughts that were slipping in through the cracks. Once she was sure the redness in her cheeks had dissipated, Katara looked through her lashes. Be it luck or fate's cruel idea of a joke, she found herself caught in the headlights of his unblinking gaze. He bit his lip and winked at her discreetly before turning his attention back to his friends. Katara whipped her head back towards the books in front of her, a familiar warmth enveloping her, and her face once again turned a bright, burning crimson.

That was the second time he winked at her, the first being so long ago, in the warm embrace of a summer's day.

Katara had met him the summer before her third year of college at Ember Island. She had decided to accompany her brother, Sokka, and his girlfriend, Suki, on a vacation before the couple entered their last year of school. Katara tagged along, simply because she was tired of spending her summers in the biting cold of the South Pole.

It was a one-week vacation and Katara had no intention of meeting anyone of importance. It was her chance to disappear, become a nobody surrounded by the sea. She wanted to detach herself from the responsibilities that waited for her in Ba Sing Se – summer classes to improve her GPA and advisors that seemed to always have a stick up their ass. At Ember Island, she would be invisible.

On her second night at the beach, the three had decided to visit the local club, well known for its ear-splitting music that blared from the speakers as soon as night fell. Her heartbeat thrummed with the bass of the song and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol made her head spin, drowning her in a sea of pulsing lights and ecstasy.

Katara was responsible. She drank with caution, held her friends' hair up when they had a little too much, and watched for danger with suspicious eyes. However, that night she found herself with four shots of tequila pumping through her body and finishing the night grinding salaciously against a mysterious man with a scar across his face.

Ordinarily, Katara would have stood in the corner of the bar, watching as her friends enjoyed themselves with the alcohol flowing through their system. But that moment, lost to the pounding lights and sweatdrops against her skin, was her chance to be anyone but herself. With inhibitions long forgotten, Katara found herself bidding Suki and Sokka goodbye, the couple too inebriated themselves to notice anything, and dragged the mystery man out of the club by his wrist.

With common sense and alcohol mixing equally through her blood, Katara let him lead her down winding roads, pressing kisses in the shadow of streetlights to her neck, stealing away to the mystery boy's beach house. She let herself relax in his burning touch as his hands roamed freely over her body. She let herself kiss a complete stranger, giving into her desires. Clothes were quickly strewn haphazardly across the floor and heat overwhelmed her body despite it.

Katara caught a glimpse of his bright golden eyes, dark with desire, every time they pulled apart to catch their breath. His eyes burned holes all over her body as he scanned her, and she had never felt so much passion and shameless lust as much as she had with him. His lips found her neck and a moan escaped her mouth as she felt him nibble down on the tender skin. The mark would be a problem for tomorrow.

Her moan seemed to fuel something inside him; he snarled deep in his chest, and in a swift movement too fast for her hazy mind to comprehend, she was pressed against the wall with her legs around his waist and his lips once again pressed against hers.

With the cold wall stabilizing her, she stared at him with greed. Her hands roamed all over his chest, tracing the grooves of his muscles, and trailing down his arms before falling beneath the waistband of his underwear. He groaned and thrust against her palm and as she grew impatient, and she smirked, pulling the material off his hips.

He kept her pressed against the wall with his chest, and she watched him through hazy eyes as he trailed his hands down to her core, his fingers working into her underwear and through the wetness of her folds. The moan that escaped her mouth was loud and wanton. He smirked and pressed feather light kisses around her exposed breasts, pushing his fingers into her slowly.

Like that? He whispered, the deep baritone of his voice reverberating up and through her bones, and Katara moaned again, arching into him. His hands made no indication of stopping until Katara was sure she could see stars behind her eyes.

He kissed her, mouth demanding, and she could taste the alcohol and spice on his tongue. Crying out, she stiffened, back arching into his grip as he pressed his fingers into her, pumping and stroking with confident twists of his wrist. His thumb expertly met with the bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in her. Katara jerked, throwing her head back, felt the brush of his teeth across her throat, before collapsing back against the wall. He pushed his chest against hers once more, biting her ear as she gasped for air.

Before Katara had a chance to catch her breath, he pushed himself inside her and she moaned loudly at the feel of his length filling her. He gripped her wrists above her head as he set an unforgivable pace.

Katara's moans echoed in her ears and her hands balled into fists as he thrust his hips roughly against hers. She tried to match his pace, pushing her hips down to meet his desperately, squeezing her muscles around his length as best as she could. His mouth was next to her ear and he let out a throaty groan.

You're so hot and tight around me, I can't get enough of you.

Time seemed to disappear as she savored the feel of him. Each thrust elicited a whine she didn't know she could make. The pressure began to build low in her stomach and her legs began to tremble.

Ah, fuck yes, come for me, baby.

Katara was overwhelmed with pleasure and her jaw opened in a silent scream as his fingers made their way to her clit. His rubbing combined with his thrusting made her head spin and her orgasm washed over her like the waves crashing in the sea.

He caught her lips in his as he came after her, his body pressing her flush against the wall.

Katara had every intention of this interaction only being a one-night stand. They woke the next morning, exchanged pleasantries, and she was out of his beach house in a swift beat. His name was still a mystery, but Katara had convinced herself that it was better not to know so she wouldn't be tempted to look him up.

So, when she saw him sitting in a desk in the corner of the room of her senior level statistics summer class on the first day, her stomach practically fell out of her mouth. There was no mistaking the angry red scar across his face. The way he sat coolly in the chair reminded her of the night in Ember Island, making her fingers tingle and her mind slip to a time when she was pressed against those strong legs, the focus of those burning eyes.

It made her feel better to know that he had practically fallen out of his chair when their eyes met. At least she wasn't the only one shocked by this horrifyingly wonderful predicament.

She felt his eyes bore into the back of her head as the class carried on, and when it ended, she raced for the door to escape any sort of confrontation. But he was faster, catching her before she could disappear.

The boy who stood before her was shockingly similar to the boy from that drunken night so long ago, and yet somehow so different. He was still confident, oozing sarcasm and wit, but he rubbed at the back of his head, golden eyes darting around in hesitation, and quietly stammered out a would you like to get dinner with me?

Hesitantly, she agreed to get dinner with him and learned that this man – Zuko, she discovered – was graduating at the end of the year and that even sober, Katara still felt the same warmth low in her belly as he talked. If she lingered on it, maybe she'd still feel the way his fingers gripped her wrists, eliciting cries of pleasure and lust, golden eyes seared into the memory of warm summer nights.

She was taken with him; his low gravelly voice, the way his hands fiddled with the glass of water, the scar that adorned the left side of his face. Before she knew it, it was 3 hours later, and the owners of the restaurant were ushering them out of the store. In her vulnerability – and honestly, her budding desire – Katara invited him over to her place, and she found herself replaying their night at Ember Island.

Looking back, Katara knew she had better sense than to have dinner, let alone sleep, with a man that she met once on a beach. She wasn't naïve, she knew the risks of accepting the invite of a stranger. She grew up with her Gran Gran reminding her of her strength, but also of the realities of this world. The realities that had taken her innocence long before innocence should have been taken. She had a brother who grew up wanting to be the protector of the world, shielding Katara from any mishap or crime that happened around the corner of her house.

However, it was Katara who had ultimately taught herself what was necessary to survive.

She grew up too quickly, too abruptly. She was only seven, and Sokka only eight, when their mother was killed in a home invasion. They would've been killed too, if it wasn't for the cops showing up as the murderers rounded the corner to their room. Fast enough to save the lives of two children, but not fast enough to apprehend a criminal, a murderer.

In desperation and obvious anger, their father fled after a few years of unbearable depression, popping up only when either Sokka or Katara had a birthday. And even then, it was usually a measly card with his name scribbled at the bottom. It was Gran Gran who shouldered the responsibility, who raised an abandoned brother and sister, raised them until it was time for college.

It was a weird childhood for Katara, having to take care of her brother who could be an idiot, but seemed to constantly hover over her with every step she took. He even took the liberty of deciding that becoming an FBI agent would resolve every underlying issue and trauma that they carried into adulthood. In the midst of it all, he also decided that being a part of every aspect of Katara's life would be the best idea. This resulted in them attending the same college, almost the same classes – even though he was a Computer Science major and she was in Biology – and background checks on everyone she encountered.

Including who she dated, and in this case, who she fucked.

So, in everyone's best interest, she kept Zuko to herself.

It had been three months since their first dinner, and three months since she and Zuko decided that whatever was happening between them would stay between them. Considering she had an overprotective brother and he had a relentless sister, hellbent on ruining his life, it was better in the long run for things to remain secret.

And Katara liked it. She liked the mystery of having Zuko to herself, knowing him in the quiet darkness right before dawn, knowing the whispered pleas and the harsh breaths no one else knew. She liked the way his eyes smoldered in pleasure, how his lips quirked in her direction in a crowded room, how his fingers brushed hers in a quiet display of affection even when surrounded by people.

In those months, she discovered different things about him that he said he'd never told anyone else. She found out that his father was in jail for crimes too unholy to say out loud, but also for afflicting him with the heavy scar on his face. Iron to the face, he'd told her, and she had cried. She found out that he lived alone, but his uncle was just outside of the city and he spent most of his time with him. Uncle Iroh by blood, but Zuko confessed to her that he was more of a father to him, love over blood. The real kicker was discovering that his mother had mysteriously disappeared when he was ten, without a trace. But in the quiet moments where darkness shrouded them like a blanket, he whispered to her, my mother was killed in a plane crash after visiting her parents. But my father is a liar, and my sister thinks he can do no wrong. Zuko was convinced it was all a front to hide something much more sinister, and after months of being with him and learning his family's secrets, Katara believed it too.

The invitation into his life drew Katara closer to him, closer to anyone she had known. It solidified her intent to keep him away from the craziness that her brother brought. Her beliefs were reflected in Zuko, who confessed he wanted to spare her from his uncle's crazy delusions of grandkids, but also from his sister's scheming mind.

To what her schemes were, Katara was at a loss. If she was anything like Sokka, she was thankful to be kept away.

Another reason Katara felt so content with this scarred boy was how supportive and vulnerable he was. His openness made her comfortable enough to share her own demons for the first time in her life as well.

In the three months that they had spent together, Katara had learned that there was nowhere else she'd want to spend her time. She would go to class, in a daze and dreaming, until she could stalk over to his apartment and wrap her arms and legs around him. Since Suki and Sokka lived together, sometimes he would go over to her apartment and they would lie on the couch just holding each other. They cooked together and studied together and laughed together. Life with Zuko was simple, domestic, and easy.

There wasn't a definition or a title to what she would consider their relationship. Friends with benefits was too broad, because there was more to it than that. Katara felt it in her bones and she knew Zuko did too. But the baggage that they both carried was far too heavy for the both of them to support. Sometimes Katara would wake up in a sweat, her mother's screams echoing loudly in her ears. Sometimes Zuko would cry out his father's name in his sleep, a constant nightmare that never left him. They became each other's escape, and somewhere along the lines they became each other's.

Katara looked back up from her books and stared at him through her eyelashes. He caught her eye again and smiled the gentle smile that always left her with butterflies in her stomach. She tugged on the braid that was hanging over her shoulder and grumbled to herself.

Her day had ended early, but she was still wiped out from the assignments that she was given. Her organic chemistry class had piled on three pages of reactions that she had to decipher, and her genetics class had given her Punnett squares too complicated to even comprehend. Her frustration with her classes and the growing heat in between her legs made her head spin and she knew that any attempt of studying was futile.

Katara shoved her books in her backpack with a grunt and pushed her chair out with a large squeal. She knew it was loud enough to grab Zuko's attention, but she turned on her heel and slung her bag onto her shoulder. She couldn't look at him anymore unless she wanted to make a fool of herself in front of the entire student body.

Katara pulled her phone out and typed a quick text to Sokka not to expect her for dinner. It had been the third time she bailed, but in her clouded head, it didn't matter to her. She would brace herself with Sokka's fury later. Zuko's classes didn't end until an hour later, but it didn't stop her from furiously typing out a text to send to him.

Please.

She groaned, running a hand over her face. Katara was embarrassed that she couldn't control herself in a public setting. She knew her face was flushed, and she thanked the gods that she had been born a woman.

Her legs carried her through the school sidewalks and towards the all too familiar apartment building that was right outside the campus. Her fingers clenched into fists as she tried to steady her breathing. She would be arriving at an empty apartment, but she could use the time to make herself be less of a feral animal.

Katara walked through the gravel path that led to Zuko's apartment, her legs heavy with each stair step that she climbed. Her blood was rushing in her ears and her breath came out in ragged breaths. She didn't realize how fast she was walking until she stopped in front of his apartment door and leaned her forehead against the cool painted wood.

Chest heaving, Katara laughed at the incredulousness of it all. She prided herself in her independence, her continuous need to fend for herself. But when it came to Zuko, she felt those shackles release themselves and she was able to be as free as she could let herself. No responsibilities, no anger. Just Zuko.

Katara turned around and leaned her head back against the door with her eyes closed.

"You couldn't wait until tonight, could you?"

Katara's eyes shot open and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of Zuko standing in front of her, his breath just as staggered. She bit her lip and shook her head.

"I thought you had class until six?" Her voice came out quiet and hoarse, more of a croak that conveyed too much need and not enough of him. Zuko smirked and took a few steps towards her. Katara gripped the hem of her shorts, the chill breeze of early fall in Ba Sing Se making goosebumps appear along the length of her thighs. The wind swept Zuko's hair to the side, and Katara saw his usually golden eyes darken with rounded pupils as he drew closer.

"It's just a test review, I don't need it." He stepped closer to her, his chest millimeters from her as he reached around to unlock his door. Katara scoffed at his arrogance and he looked down at her, the smirk heavy on his lips.

"Besides, your text sounded urgent," he murmured, voice low and heavy with need. He blew a stray piece of hair away from Katara's forehead, and on his breath Katara smelled cinnamon and ginger.

"What did you need?" Zuko whispered in her ear. He leaned down and openedthe door behind her.

Katara had self-control. She had the power to stop herself from making bad decisions. But this was Zuko, and any reservation she had was long gone that night in Ember Island.

Katara grabbed the collar of his shirt and stumbled into the apartment, her lips meeting his with a muffled moan. He stumbled in after her, kicking the door shut and wrapping one arm around her waist, the other running through her hair and pushing her head closer to his.

"I need you."

authors note:

HELLO and welcome friends to this angsty, smutty, dark adventure of mine. i really hope you enjoy your stay.

first i would like to thank my DEAREST FRIEND MarkedMage for helping me edit and essentially beta-ing for me out of the sheer kindness of her heart. this fic is for her and she deserves it. thank you friend for your sweet encouragement and i hope this lives up to your expectations.

this is my first time writing a full length, multi-chap fic and i am determined to make myself responsible and keep updating until its finished. most everything is planned and plotted, its just putting it to words that i have trouble with BUT we will make it through so help me god or i will be struck by lightning.

i plan for this fic to be mysterious and modern and everything will start making sense, i just didnt want spoilers in the tags BUT if you have questions/guesses this early on i'd love to hear them.

i would love to hear your thoughts, so please share! there is a lot of world building and character development so please fasten your seatbelts and keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times.