Count to three and everything should be fine. Just count to goddamn three and everything will be just, fucking, fine.
"Mama? Are you mad at me?" asked a shy, timid voice, that was so normally full of snark and liveliness.
Immediately, Tobio felt his anger disappear. He couldn't stay mad at his boy. He couldn't.
"Oh, sweetheart. I could never be mad at you even if I tried, okay? Come here." he cooed in, what he hoped, was his least most condescending voice.
Immediately, a frame too small for their age came running at him and Tobio caught him in a hug.
"I d-didn't m-mean to i-" the small boy sobbed in his arms and Tobio merely cooed at him, whispering that it was okay.
He was talking about the broken picture frame of his first year in middle school with the volleyball team. At first, he had treasured it because it had been one of the few moments where Oikawa wasn't a total asshole to him. However, as time grew on the photo only bought him despair and it reminded him about how he had failed everyone.
Looking at the broken frame where glass surrounded the picture, a piece of glass puncturing a hole where Oikawa was standing, he couldn't help the vindictive feeling of pleasure. Finally, he longer had to look at it. His cowardice from earlier refused to let him take it down, thinking that he deserved to be reminded of his failures.
"I just want to make sure you aren't hurt, baby," he reassured softly, knowing that if his team were here he would get teased mercilessly, but right now he had to focus on his son. He was more important right now.
"B-but-"
"But nothing. I'm actually glad that you had destroyed it," he told the boy honestly, letting out his more friendlier smiles, the one he reserves for those truly close to him. "I had been wanting to get rid of it for quite a while now, so I'm glad that you got rid of it. Kinda poetic actually," he said jokingly.
"Really?" asked Akito and Tobio hummed in affirmation. He gently guided the boy into his lap and gently rocked him, running his fingers through his soft, brunette locks. "How is it poetic?" the boy asked, voice still timid. Tobio shook his head and continued his soothing gestures before answering
"In my first year in middle school I used to look up to one of my senpais because a) he was a really amazing setter and b) he was way more charismatic than I could ever be." Tobio's voice was soft recalling memories of him looking up to Oikawa, wanting to learn from the best of the best. Oh, how time has changed things.
"One day." he continued, trying his hardest to not let his voice crack, "I asked him to help me with my jump serve. He…" Kageyama hesitated, looking at the boy in his arms before continuing, there was no use in keeping secrets. "didn't have the best of reactions. One moment he was just standing there and the next minute his best friend was holding his arm to make sure he didn't slap me."
Tobio heard the soft gasp and when he looked down again those wide blue eyes of his son looked up at him, full of sadness for the younger version of himself. He simply kissed the boy's forehead before continuing.
"After that, I still continued to ask him for it and thankfully he didn't try to attack me. However, he did show his dislike for me much more. Eventually, the rest of the school caught up to it and everyone began avoiding me. Some even taunted me." Tobio was shocked at how sad his voice was but he supposed that even he couldn't keep up the emotionless mask, especially around Akito.
"That's horrible." Akito huffed, feeling angry on Tobio's behalf. He couldn't help the small laugh that he let out, even more laughter escaping as Akito puffed up his cheeks at him.
"Truly," he said dryly, but there was truth behind those words. It had been absolutely horrible. "Anyways, eventually my only escape had been volleyball. But due to that, I became a…perfectionist. I yelled at my team to go faster. To be better. I became a tyrant." he spat those words out as if they were poison.
He felt the grip around him tighten, Akito pushing his head closer to the nape of his neck so the only visible thing was his brown hair.
"You aren't anymore, are you?" Akito asked, voice small.
Poor child, whilst not afraid to mouth off and call him mama, was still afraid to ask him questions. It made Tobio's heart break and renew his vow to protect the boy with all he had.
"No. Well at least I hope not," he reassured both himself and his son. "I have a new team. A team who…cares." he voiced softly and bubbly laughter escaped the gremlin in his arms.
"Of course they should, mama!" and there was that cheeky little brat.
"Mhm. Thanks, baby. Anyway, as I was saying." he continued, voice becoming more serious. "Whilst Oikawa was the catalyst for how certain things happened in my life, bad things, you were the catalyst to all good things in my life. Thanks to you, baby, my life's gotten ten times better than it used to be."
"Even if you have to split high school, volleyball and me?" and come back with a timid voice.
"Absolutely. You are worth every single second," he reassured before standing up, Akito in his arms.
"Come on. Let's clean up this mess and go make dinner. I can make curry with egg on top?"
"Yes!" yelled Akito victoriously, wiggling out of his arms successfully and dashing to the kitchen to get cleaning supplies, being careful as to not step on any of the glass.
Tobio watched the boy run off fondly.
True, it had been an absolute nightmare at the beginning with having to deal with a prickly kid who switched from a timid angel to a salty demon. Adding along with that his constant need to make sure his grades stayed on top and to manage volleyball as well had been a nightmare.
However, with the constant support of distant family from all over, he managed.
Whilst, sure they didn't visit him they still made sure he had everything he could wish for. And when he wished for material to help him look after his 7 year old son they had given it to him with minimal question.
The only person who had questioned it had been Miwa. When she had found out she had tried to scold him as if he was still a child but he didn't back down. He still had a lot of suppressed emotions from when he was in middle school.
Eventually, they had managed to sort things out to a point. This point was a point where she would pick up Akito from school and that was that. Nothing else. She didn't stick around for anything after.
Tobio wishes things were different and maybe they will be in the future. But for right now, things were better than they are now.
And sure, having to go to practice whilst also worrying about your son was not ideal but at least nobody questioned it. Well they did, it's just the question 'Do you have a child?' never comes up when they do question him so To io can't be blamed. It's not like he's lying to them, he's just not sharing information which they did not ask for.
"Mama! Come on! I already cleaned up! "
That immediately snapped Tobio away from his thoughts, eyes shooting towards his son.
The little gremlin had the nerve to smile innocently at him, holding a broom in one hand and in the other was an empty dustpan.
"Brat," he muttered, taking the cleaning equipment from his hands and cleaning up himself the vindictive pleasure from before returning as glass gathered up and brushed over Oikawa's ripped photo.
"But you still love me!" came the sing song voice and Tobio couldn't help but agree.
"True." and he smirked when Akito flushed, not expecting the natural agreement.
"Humph." he harrumphed, turning around and crossing his arms whilst puffing out his cheeks. Briefly, Tobio thinks about how he does the same thing and he wonders if he looks half as adorable as this.
"Awe." he cooed before making his way to the kitchen, ignoring the indignant sounds coming from Akito. He disposed of the trash before he started to riffle through his cabinets to get the ingredients to make them dinner.
"Come on, Aki-chan. Help your 'mother' with cooking." and he couldn't help the smile on his face as he heard the childish giggle from his son.
His situation wasn't perfect, but this moment right here was. It felt like home.