I feel familiar lips placing light kisses on my body. Lips I've felt and loved since I was sixteen years old. Lips of the most incredible woman to ever walk this earth. I have been privileged enough to have her love for the last nineteen years. Nineteen years of unconditional and unwavering love, love that people make movies and write stories about. A love that I never thought I was even capable of accepting or understanding.
Let me make sure I'm clear, everything wasn't a fairytale. With Rachel being a diva and me being stubborn, it caused for a very difficult relationship at times. We loved hard and we fought even harder. Fortunately for us, through all of the fights, arguments, and break ups we never lost sight of we wanted. To spend the rest of our lives loving each other and in the midst of our epic love we created four beautiful and wonderful children.
Everything in our lives has been going great for us. Rachel has been the biggest star in Hollywood for the last ten years and I'm doing pretty well for myself as Chief of Surgery of the number one hospital in the country. I'm so proud of how far the both of us have come from trying to escape Lima, Ohio to now living our dreams in Beverly Hills, California.
"So how long are you going to pretend to be asleep?" Her beautiful sultry voice whispers into my ear, her breath slightly tickles my ear.
"As long as you continue to kiss me." I hear a small laugh and now I feel her soft lips pressed against mine.
I open my eyes and see my beautiful wife sitting on top of me, straddling my hips.
"I must be the luckiest woman in the world to wake up to The Rachel Berry in my bed." I brush her hair out of her eyes with my fingers.
"Not as lucky as I am." Rachel leans down and places another kiss on my lips.
"Good morning my love." I say as her lips are still slightly pressed against mine.
"Good morning baby." She kisses me again, this one more passionate than the others. I play with the top of her underwear with one hand while I use the other to deepen the kiss but she pulls away.
"Quinn honey, we are not going to start something we can't finish."
"Oh Rachel you know I can be quick." I place my hands under her shirt to caress her perky breast but she quickly removes my hands.
"The last time you said that I was almost late to my own movie premiere." Rachel quickly responds.
"But we still made it and that's what's important."
"Quinn Fabray you're so bad." She teases.
"Only for you babe." I flip us over and it takes her completely by surprise.
Looking down at Rachel and she looks just as beautiful as the day I met her. Rachel takes her hand and traces the side of my face, her eyes staring directly into mine.
"I love you, Quinn Fabray."
"I love you too, Rachel Berry-Fabray." I lean down and interlock my lips with hers. Her soft lips melt against mine and instinctively she pulls me in closer deepening the kiss.
I let my tongue slide into her mouth and I can taste her sweet minty tongue on mine. I let my hands travel down her slim body until I get to my favorite place, her breathing hitches once I pull her panties to the side and trace my thumb over her clit. The wetness I feel on my thumb and the way she is writhing under me causes my penis to get hard against my boxers. I detach my lips from hers and the frustrated moan that escapes her lips is so sexy.
"Why did you stop?" She questions me with a frustrated look on her face.
"Because my tongue will be more useful between your legs."
I kiss her neck, working my way down to her chest..now down to her stomach. I hear Rachel let out a small moan in anticipation as I continue to work my way further down to her panties. I pull her panties to the side, my penis getting harder as I go in for my first taste.
"WAHHH!" Crying from the baby monitor stops me right in my tracks.
"Uh..Lily must be hungry or needs her diaper changed." Rachel flops her head back in frustration, cock blocked once again by my own child.
I get off of Rachel and she climbs off the bed and puts on clothes while I lay on the bed waiting for my boner to go down.
"I'll wake up the rest of the bunch." I tell my wife. I definitely won't be getting any morning sex today.
"Okay." Rachel gives me a quick kiss before running out of the room.
I put on a pair of pajamas then head down the hall to wake the kids up for school. I open the boys bedroom door and they are sleeping peacefully in their beds. Our sons Liam and Lexington are identical twins yet they are completely different from each other. Lexington seems to have more of my personality while Liam is a splitting image of Rachel. The two of them can be a handful at times but they are the most loving and caring little boys you could ask for.
Turning on the lights in the room and their small bodies begin to stir under the blankets.
"Liam and Lexington wake up, it's time to get ready for school." Neither one of them make an effort to get out of their beds, instead they sink further underneath their blankets.
"Lexington and Liam wake up!" Still nothing.
"Okay, since you guys won't wake up for school I'll just have to go and get the tickle monster!" The tickle monster always gets the boys right out of their beds. As my fingers tickle the bottom of their small feet, both of them laugh and squirm around in their beds, my tickling too much for them to handle.
"Okay mama!" Both Liam and Lexington say at the same time, peeking their curly blonde heads from under the blankets.
"You sure I can put the tickle monster away?"
"Yes mama we are up now." Liam says. They pull the blankets off of them and climb out of their bunk beds.
"Alright let's go wash those cute little faces." The boys follow me into the bathroom, I place them on top of the bathroom counter near the sink.
"Mama when are we going to hand out our birthday invitations, I want to give one to Tommy and Mason." Crap I completely forgot to pick up the boys birthday invitations for their party in two weeks.
"I'm going to pick them up today and you can hand them out to all of your friends tomorrow."
"Yes!" Liam and Lexington high five each other, they are just so cute.
"I can't believe you two are going to be seven years old already. My little babies are growing up too fast, I just want you to stay small forever." Seems like it was just yesterday that Rachel and I found out that she was having twins. Rachel and I were so excited because we'd always wanted twins, Rachel especially. In high school whenever we would talk about our future children Rachel always said she wanted twins, one that had her personality and one that had mine. Now they are almost seven years old and I just wish that time would slow down, just a little.
"But we want to get bigger mama, I don't want to stay small forever." Liam expresses.
"Yeah mama I want to get big so I can play basketball in the NBA." Lexington proclaims.
"Aww I know but it's just going by too fast for mama." I kiss the both of them at the top of their heads.
"Mama."
"Yes Liam?"
"I don't want to be a teenager."
I can't help but chuckle at this comment. "Why Liam?"
"Because they all act like Beth."
"And what's wrong with your big sister?"
"She's a brat." Liam and Lexington say in unison.
I can't really disagree with them there, Beth has definitely been very bratty lately but she's a teenage girl with lots of emotions and I can admit although I wasn't as bratty as Beth, I definitely had a bad attitude at times.
"Your sister is just going through a phase right now but she will grow out of it."
"Well I hope she grows out of it soon, it's annoying." Says Lexington.
"Just remember that no matter how much your sister annoys you, she's your big sister and she loves you and will always have your back, okay?"
They nod their heads in understanding.
"Alright now let's get you all cleaned up."
I get the boys washed and dressed in their uniforms and send them downstairs for breakfast. Walking inside Beth's room and surprisingly she isn't there, can't believe she actually woke up on her own today.
As I enter the kitchen I can hear the voice of our oldest going on another early morning rant.
The boys are sitting at the kitchen table already enjoying their breakfast while Rachel is standing by the island with Lily in her arms watching Beth as she paces back and forth.
Beth is our beautiful first born, piercing hazel eyes and long blonde hair which she has in a ponytail just like I used to wear as a Cheerio.
"And what's this rant about?" Lily reaches out for me as I come up next to Rachel, so I take her out of Rachel's arms.
"She thinks it's unfair that she's not allowed to date." Rachel whispers as Beth continues to go off on her rant.
"Interesting."Beth continues on while I play with Lily in my arms. Our adorable and sweet one year old daughter Lily Grace. She doesn't give me attitude or back talk she just looks up at me with her beautiful hazel eyes and god her little chubby cheeks are everything. She puts her small fingers in my mouth and I pretend to nibble on them and it makes her laugh.
"Mama!" Beth's voice interrupts my thoughts.
"Yes Elizabeth?"
"How is it fair that all of my friends are allowed to date but I can't." Even with the frustrated look on her face I swear Beth is the spitting image of me. With hands on her hips and a scowling expression on her face, not only has she inherited my looks but also my attitude.
"Well that's a simple answer." I clear my throat for dramatic effect. "Because you are our daughter and we set the rules for you and everyone who lives in this house. We are not your friends parents, we are yours and our rule is no dating until you turn seventeen. That's not going to change unless your mother and I decide otherwise. It will have nothing to do with what your friends can and can't do because I could care less."
"That's so not fair." Beth rolls her eyes at me and crosses her arms around her chest.
"Well Beth life isn't fair and the way you've been acting lately, has only further convinced me that you're not mature enough to be in a relationship. Your mother and I have made our decision and it gets dropped right here. Now sit down and eat your breakfast, it's way too early for your attitude."
Beth looks at Rachel expecting help but of course my wife doesn't. We've already discussed that we need to put our foot down with Beth since her attitude seems to be getting worse lately.
"Fine." Beth finally says, giving me another eye roll before sitting down at the table with her brothers.
I use my free hand to check the time on my watch.
"Alright boys we are leaving in twenty minutes."
I have to drop off the boys at school before heading to the hospital, Beth has her own car and drives herself to school every morning.
Rachel places a plate of food and a cup of coffee on the island in front of me.
"Thanks babe."
"You're welcome." Rachel gives me a sweet kiss on the lips.
With Lily in my arms I alternate between feeding myself and feeding Lily Grace the bowl of banana yogurt Rachel prepared.
"So what do you have planned for today babe?"
"Well I have one interview in a couple of hours but after that I'll probably just stay home and work on the album."
"Any progress?" The last time I asked Rachel about her album she had only written one song in four months.
"Absolutely not and the label expects a completed album in four months. I don't know what's wrong with me, I haven't had a problem with writing songs since high school. I'm just not feeling inspired to write anything and this whole album is just going to be a complete flop." Rachel has been stressing about this album since she started working on it. Ten straight years of being at the top and Rachel is still just as passionate and driven as she was in Glee Club. She never settled for anything less than perfection.
"Babe stop, your album is not going to flop. You've always managed to finish your albums on time and they always come out amazing." Rachel smiles but doesn't seem convinced.
"Come here." I switch Lily over to my hip and pull Rachel in close to me so that we are now chest to chest.
"Remember how stressed out we were trying to conceive Lily. A full year of our sex life being planned and scheduled. We did all that planning yet nothing happened until we took that spontaneous trip to Anguilla and made love all weekend without any set schedules or redundant sexual positions. A month later and voilà, you were pregnant."
Rachel gives me a suspicious look."So are you saying that a spontaneous trip to a secluded island to have nonstop sex, is the only way for me to get free of my writer's block?"
"Although that wouldn't be a bad idea. I'm just saying that magic happens when you least expect it. So stop stressing and worrying about some deadline and just let the songs come to you. You're Rachel Berry and there is nothing that can stop you."
Rachel takes me by surprise and kisses my lips. "I love you so much, you always know the right things to say."
"Some would call it a gift." I joke.
"Oh really."
"Mhmm." I pull Rachel in for another kiss, wrapping my arm tightly around her waist. Rachel sneaks her fingers into my hair deepening our kiss.
"Eww can you two not do that in front of us, it's so gross." Beth's words cause Rachel to pull away and I instantly miss her lips. I will be away from my wife for twelve hours and I don't think I'm asking for much by wanting to make out with her in my own kitchen.
"Beth sweetie there is nothing gross about love." Rachel says.
"Exactly babe." I give Rachel a quick and gentle kiss.
"Also Beth, how do you think you got here huh? Your mom and I were doing a lot more than just kissing."
"Quinn!" Rachel smacks my arm.
"Mama!" Beth looks mortified. So dramatic.
"What it's true."
"Mom I don't know how you deal with her." Beth questions.
"She's charming and easy on the eyes so it makes her just a little bearable." Rachel jokes.
I can think of another reason but right now it would be inappropriate to bring up.
"Anyway let's get going boys, say goodbye to your mom and sisters."
The twins grab their backpacks from behind their chairs before giving Beth a quick high five and blowing Lily Grace goodbye kisses.
"Bye mom, I love you." Lexington walks up to Rachel to say goodbye, followed by Liam.
"Love you too Lexington and I love you Liam." Rachel hugs them both and gives them kisses on their forehead.
"Have a great day at school."
"We will." Lexington and Liam say.
"Alright I'll meet you in the car." The twins run out of the kitchen and race each other to the car.
"So I'll see you tonight, hopefully if everything goes as planned I will be done by eight."
"Okay." Rachel takes Lily Grace out of my arms.
"Also, try to save some energy for me Dr. Fabray. We still have some unfinished business." Rachel kisses me and gives my bottom lip a bite.
God this woman.
"I'll have more than enough energy, don't you worry."
"Good, I'll see you tonight." Rachel gives me another quick sensual kiss.
Lily Grace stares at me with her big brown eyes.
"Bye bye Lily Grace, mama loves you." I plant a big sloppy kiss on her chubby cheeks which she loves so much, it always makes her laugh.
I go over to Beth and place a kiss on top of her head.
"You know I love you right Beth?" After our little argument this morning I don't want to leave with tension still between Beth and I.
"Of course mama, I love you too." Beth gives me a reluctant smile. Clearly she's still a little upset but I know a part of her understands that everything we do is because we love her.
"Alright, I'm leaving. Text me or call my office if you need anything. Love you guys."
I grab my things and rush out the door, ready take on whatever the day throws at me.
—-
"Make sure we have his neck stabilized!"
My first trauma patient of the day, a thirty-eight year old male hit by a car while riding his motorcycle. He's having trouble breathing and complaining of pain in his upper chest and back. This might sound horrible for me to say but I was so happy when the trauma call came through. My day has been filled with nothing but paperwork and yelling at interns. Now I finally get some action and besides my family, nothing makes me more happy than the chaos of a trauma. Everything is so intense but also methodical, controlled chaos is what we like to call it.
"My chest is killing me!" The patient yells, trying to rip off his oxygen mask. I feel around his upper chest and he screams out in pain. I can feel air trapped between his ribs and lungs, it has to be a collapsed lung.
"He has a collapsed lung on his left side, we need to put in a chest tube." The nurses and other doctors around me move quickly as we work on the patient.
"Sir, what's your name?"
"James..my name is James." He struggles to get his name out.
"Hello James my name is Dr. Fabray. Due to the impact of the crash you have a collapsed lung and broken ribs. Now I know that sounds scary but you have the best doctors and nurses working on you right now. The broken ribs you don't need to worry about but we need to take care of that collapsed lung immediately. To do that I need to place a tube inside your chest to inflate your lungs. I'm going to be honest with you, it's a very painful process."
"Oh god no!" James panics and tries to remove his mask once again.
"James calm down, it's going to be okay I promise. Once we get this tube inside your chest you're going to feel so much better. We have to do this or you are going to die. So I want you to hold onto my hand and squeeze as hard as you need to. Yell as loud as you need to but I have to get this tube inside your chest."
He looks up at me with a pain expression. "Okay doc, do what you got to do." James tells me through strangled breathing. He grabs a hold of my hand and squeezes tightly.
"Okay let's get ready to put in the chest tube." I announce it to the rest of the team.
I quickly clean the wound and use a local anesthetic to numb the area. I make a two centimeter incision through the skin and now the easy part is over.
"Alright James here comes the tube, 1..2..3."
"AHHHH!"
—-
After getting James stable I had multiple trauma patients and after about seven hours I am finally able to take my lunch. I get to my office and I send Rachel a quick text to remind her to pick up the twins birthday invitation just before I dig into my lunch.
Two soft knocks come at my office door.
"Come in."
The door opens and in walks my best friend Santana Lopez, a pink lunch box in her hand and a flustered look on her face.
"I just came from removing a knife lodged in a guy's head. Him and his idiot friends spent the afternoon drinking beer and recreating fight scenes from action movies. One idiot ends up stabbing his idiot friend in the head with a kitchen knife and somehow misses every major artery. I safely removed the knife and he's getting discharged in a couple of hours. Meanwhile my twelve year old hit and run victim died during surgery this morning. She's dead after doing something as innocent as walking to the bus stop, what fucking sense does that make." Santana flops down on my couch throwing her lunch box on the table.
"I'm sorry to hear about your patient Santana. I learned a long time ago that life rarely makes sense."
"So why do we do it? Why do we put ourselves through this day after day after day." Santana leans her head back against the couch.
"Because it's the lives we save that make it all worth it. Just like when you treated Tracy and every other surgeon said that her brain tumor was inoperable and gave her only a year to live. You being the badass surgeon you are, got the tumor out and now her kids don't have to grow up without a mother. That's why we do it, because we save more lives than we lose."
Santana nods her head in agreement. "You're right Q, it's just sometimes this job gets to me."
Santana has a reputation amongst the interns and residents as being stern and cold but the exact opposite when it came to her patients.
"It does get rough but that's why we are here for each other. You keep me centered and I do the same for you."
Santana has been my best friend since elementary school and we've been through everything together. After college we both went to medical school, I went to medical school in New York and Santana went to school in California. We were ecstatic when we got the job at UCLA Medical Center together. Just ten years later Santana and I are leading the charge. Santana the Chief of Neurosurgery and I the Chief of Trauma & Surgical Care.
"So how's Rachel and the kids?" Santana asks, taking her food out of a pink hello kitty lunch box. I've never seen it before but I'm almost certain it has something to do with Santana's wife, Brittany.
"They're good, Rachel's working on her next album, Lexington and Liam are getting into anything and everything they can. Lily is still precious, and Beth is giving us hell." I dig my fork into the apple pecan salad I packed for lunch, my stomach is practically growling.
"Like mother, like daughter I see. I remember all the trouble you got into at fifteen. Even dying your hair pink like you were some bad-ass."
"First off I was a bad-ass and secondly if I remember correctly you were right with me getting into all of that trouble."
"And I regret nothing, think of all the fun we had being young and rebellious. Going to parties,almost getting arrested, sneaking out of the house, sneaking girls into the house."
Once Rachel and I started dating all of that stopped so don't judge me.
"Well that's exactly what I'm trying to keep Beth from. I need to keep her on the right path so she won't make the same dumb decisions I did. If I can get her graduated and off to college without a teen pregnancy, my mission is accomplished."
"Q, Beth is going to be fine. You and Rachel have raised her right, she's just being a hormonal teenager right now. All parents go through it, you just have to ride this wave."
"I'm trying but I hope this wave calms down soon because I'm really tired of the early morning rants."
Santana chuckles. "Now that she definitely gets from Rachel. I wonder how many hours we lost in glee club listening to Rachel rant about God knows what everyday."
"Hey that's my wife you're talking about and I found most of Rachel's rants not only adorable but valid."
"Of course you did, you were practically drooling over her every time she opened her mouth in Glee Club." Santana teases.
"And you were the same way with Brittany anytime she had a dance number to perform."
"You got me there."
"Speaking of Brittany, Rachel wanted me to invite you and Brittany to dinner on Friday. Rachel and the kids really miss Brittany and Jace being around."
"I know it's just been so hectic with Brittany off of maternity leave and me working these twelve hour shifts. We barely have time for each other and making time for family and friends has been impossible."
"Everything's good though right?" This is the first time Santana has mentioned this to me.
"Between me and Britt? Oh yeah we're good, I just wish we could spend some alone time together."
"How about one day this week you let Rachel and I babysit Jace, give you and Brittany some alone time."
"Are you sure? You and Rachel already have a full house."
"Of course I'm sure, it's a win-win situation. You get some alone time with Brittany and I get to spend time with my handsome nephew."
Santana nods her head in agreement. "That would be awesome, thanks Quinn."
"No problem."
My office phone rings, I check the caller I.D and see it's from the nursing station in the emergency room.
I quickly pick up the phone. "Hello Dr. Fabray speaking."
"Hello, Dr. Fabray, this is Angela Brown the charge nurse in the ER and we have a young man down here who's insisting on getting treated by you and only you."
"What are his injuries?"
"Seventeen years old crashed his motorcycle, no serious injuries, just some cuts and bruises. He has a deep cut on his forearm that will need stitches but other than that he's fine."
"Then why does he want to get treated by me?"
"I have no clue doctor but he insists on seeing."
"Alright I will be down in a minute." I hang up the phone.
"What was that?" Santana asks.
"Some guy in the ER is refusing treatment unless it's from me. I'm going to go down to see what's going on."
"I'll come with you."
We take the elevator down to the emergency room. I see nurse Brown standing next to a young African American kid wearing a cut up leather jacket.
"Nurse Brown, I got it from here." I dismissed her so she could deal with other patients.
"Hello sir, my name is Dr. Fabray and this is Dr. Lopez. I hear you asked for me by name, is there a reason why?"
The young man sitting on the bed has dark hazel eyes, light caramel skin, and short dark brown hair.
"Yeah..I..uhh..yeah." He seems very nervous as he stutters his words.
"Hey just take a deep breath, you're going to be fine. No broken bones or fractures, all you need is some stitches for the laceration on your forearm." My words don't seem to elevate his worry, he still looks very nervous but his eyes never leave mine.
"That's not why I'm nervous." Santana and I give each other a confused look, I'm starting to get nervous seeing how nervous he is.
"Then what is it?"
He clears his throat before he speaks. "My name is Jordan Baker and uh..I'm your son."
What In The Hell Is This Kid Talking About.
"Um Jordan I'm sorry but you have the wrong person. Someone must have given you the wrong information because it's impossible for Quinn to be your mom." Santana speaks up for me before I could speak up for myself.
"Dr. Lopez is right, all of my kids are at home with my wife right now. Maybe you have me confused with Dr. Quincy Fabray from Sacramento, people get our names mixed up all the time."
"I'm not confused, there's not many people with your condition plus my mom gave me this picture of you." He digs into his pocket and hands me a folded up picture.
I begin to unravel the photo even though I know it's no way in the world this kid HOLY SHIT!
"Quinn what is it?" I didn't know I said the holy shit part out loud. Santana gives me a very quizzical and concerned look.
Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Breathe Quinn, calm down. Don't let him see you freaking the fuck out!
"Dr. Lopez can I talk to you in private for a moment, Jordan just give us one second we'll be right back." I hand him back the photo, I grab Santana by her arm and drag her down to the on call room and shut the door behind us.
"What the hell Q, what's going on?" Santana commands.
"Santana, do you remember when you and I took that trip to Vegas our freshman year of college. It was right after Rachel broke up with me and you wanted to cheer me up."
"Yeah I remember, what about it?"
"Do you remember the girl I hooked up with that night, I think her name was Tia..no Nia."
"Kind of but that was like eighteen years ago and...Holy shit!" Santana cups her hand over her mouth.
"Yeah holy shit!" I pace back and forth, my heart is beating like crazy. This can not be happening.
"Oh my god Q, it's no way."
My mind races back to that night. I'm one hundred percent sure we didn't use a condom because I didn't bring any with me not expecting to hook up with anyone. I know it was so irresponsible of me but I was young, drunk, heartbroken and horny. Still that doesn't mean he's my son, it could all be a crazy coincidence.
"Look there is no reason to panic right now, it's a simple solution. We get a DNA test today and find out the results tomorrow."
"You're right but fuck what if it's true. How am I going to tell Rachel and the kids." Pacing back and forth is the only thing keeping me from not passing out. "Oh my god I never told Rachel about that night, she asked me if I hooked up with anyone while we were broken up and I said no. I fucking lied and said no." She's going to kill me, she is literally going to kill me.
"Fuck Q." Santana runs her fingers through her jet black hair.
"Look you're going to have to just face this head on. You're going to go home tonight and just lay it all out. Tell her all about that night and hope she doesn't kill you."
"Santana please don't make jokes right now."
"I'm not joking, Rachel might actually kill you."
I give her a stern look, this is not what I need to hear right now.
"What I'm really trying to say is you're Quinn and Rachel you can get through anything. You just have to be honest with her."
Now that's much better.
"I hope you're right Santana." I take a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down. My heart beating at a rate too fast for me to count.
"I'm going to go down to the lab to see if Libby can perform the DNA test and rush the results."
"Thanks Santana."
Santana comes over and comforts me by rubbing my shoulders. "It's going to be alright Q, nobody's perfect."
Santana leaves out the room and after taking a few more deep breaths I do the same, I need to talk to Jordan.
I get the supplies from the medical cart before sitting down next to Jordan who is looking around confused.
"Hi."
"Hey." His hazel eyes meet mine.
"I'm going to clean your cut and stitch you up, if that's okay?"
"Yeah that's fine." He sits up straighter in the bed. His hands shaking slightly.
This is the most nervous I've ever been in my entire life. Here I am sitting across from a young man who could possibly be my son. What am I even supposed to say? I didn't learn about situations like this in college or medical school.
"I'm sorry about how I just left, I didn't mean to be rude. This is all just a lot to take in."
"I know, I've been preparing basically my whole life for this moment." He gives me a nervous smile and it's hard to ignore the similarities in his features and mine.
"So your mom, Nia right?"
"Yes, Nia Baker."
"Does she uh, know you're here?"
He looks down at his hands. "My mom actually passed away seven years ago. She gave me that picture of you before she died."
"Oh my god, Jordan I'm so sorry." I was not expecting to hear that.
"Yeah cancer is a bitch." He looks down at the picture in his hand. It's a picture of his mom and I on the Las Vegas strip, she was on my back with a big smile on her face. "It's okay though, it's something I've came to terms with a long time ago."
"What happened after your mom passed?"
"Well, my mom didn't have any family members that wanted to take me in so I was put in foster care. I've spent the last seven years being bounced around from foster homes to group homes. Finally when I turned seventeen a couple of months ago I was released from the system."
"Jordan I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that."
"It's okay, I'm tough."
He may be tough but I can still see the pain behind his eyes.
I have so many questions running through my mind."So how did you find me?"
"When I left the group home they gave me my birth certificate and your name was on it so I did my research to find you. I saved up enough money to buy an old motorcycle from a friend and drove here from Chicago, unfortunately I crashed my bike on the way here."
She put my name on the birth certificate..this is all getting too real. I just don't understand why didn't she try to find me? Why didn't she tell me she was pregnant and that I had a kid? If she really thought I mothered her child then why not inform me?
"This is going to burn a little but I need to clean the wound, this cut is pretty deep."
"Okay."
Cleaning the wound and stitching him up and he doesn't even flinch. Definitely a tough kid.
"I hope you know I had no idea about you, if I did I promise I would have been a part of your life. I would have done everything I could to be there for you."
"You don't have to explain anything to me, I already know."
"Okay..If you are my son I just don't want you to feel like I abandoned you."
"There is no if, my mom wouldn't lie."
"I'm not saying she did but sometimes people can be mistaken. Your mom and I were intimate but that doesn't automatically mean—."
"It does because my mom put you on the birth certificate. If you don't want anything to do with me that's fine but don't speak on my mother like you know her. If my mother put your name on that birth certificate it's because that's where it belonged." Jordan tries to get off the bed but I quickly push him back down.
"Wait a minute Jordan. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you and you're right I don't know your mom. All I'm asking is for a DNA test to put my mind at ease. I have a wife and four children who I am going to have to explain this to in the best way I can. A DNA test will just make the process much easier for everyone. I don't want there to be any doubt, especially when it comes to integrating you into the family."
"You want me to be a part of your family?"
"Of course, if you're my kid I want to be there for you."
"Why are you being so nice? This isn't really the reaction I was expecting." A perplexed expression written on his face.
"Because it's the right thing to do and family is the most important thing to me." I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
He smiles at me and I smile back.
"So my friend Libby works down at the lab and she's going to come and take some DNA swabs from you. Are you sure you're okay with getting the test done?"
"Yes it's cool."
"Okay." I give his hand a gentle squeeze.
Libby takes us into a conference room and performs the DNA test. Never in my life would I have thought I would ever need to take a DNA test. Yet here I sit with cotton getting swabbed around my mouth. I don't even know how I'm going to handle all of this if Jordan is my son. It's going to completely change my life..our lives.
Jordan and I walk out of the conference room together. "So do you have a place to stay set up?"
"Not really, I was just going to wing it until I could make enough money to rent an apartment."
Well that's definitely not happening.
"I can't let you do that, you can just stay at my place while we figure all of this out." Even if he's not my son he's come all this way thinking he is. The least I can do is make sure he has a place to stay until everything is figured out.
"I couldn't ask you to do that, I don't want to make your wife and kids uncomfortable."
"It's fine, I have a spare bedroom and plenty of space. I'm not going to let you live on the streets, you can stay with me until we get the results. Once we get the results we will figure everything out from there."
Jordan gives me a questionable look. "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like I came here to use you. I just wanted to meet you."
"That thought never crossed my mind."
"Okay." A nervous smile appears on his face.
"I don't get off of work for another two hours so you can either hang out in my office or go to the mall across the street."
"I'm sure I can find something to do."
"Okay, meet me at the entrance in two hours."
"Cool."
I spend the rest of the night doing my best to focus on my patients and my work without letting the craziness of the day distract me. I get finished with my rounds at around seven-forty five and wait for Jordan at the entrance of the hospital. I run into Santana as I'm exiting the building.
"So how did everything go with you and the kid?"
"It went okay, he's been through a lot. His mom passed away about seven years ago and he's been through foster care ever since. He saw my name on his birth certificate and decided to come look for me, so here we are."
"Damn Q, that's heavy."
"Yeah."
"Have you decided if you're going to tell Rachel tonight?"
"I have no choice, Jordan is coming home with me."
Santana looks at me as if I've lost my mind. "What? Quinn are you crazy, you don't know this kid."
"Santana, he could be my son."
"And it's a possibility that he isn't."
"He has nowhere else to go and as long as it's a possibility I'm not going to abandon him. He's already been through enough in his life and you can't tell me you don't see the resemblance. He looks just like me, tell me you don't see it.
"You're right Q, this is all just crazy."
"I know." I don't smoke but right now I wish I did.
"I'm terrified just thinking about how Rachel is going to react when I tell her."
"Yeah I'm almost certain it's not going to go well but if you need anything or just want to talk call me."
"Thanks Santana."
"Anytime, I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."
"Love you too."
I watch as Santana walks down the sidewalk into the parking lot, just missing Jordan as he walks up.
"Hey."
"Hey, what did you get into?"
"Went to check out this really cool bookstore I saw online."
"A seventeen year old kid that actually likes to read, that's something I didn't think it existed anymore."
"Yeah well, living on the south-side of Chicago and getting bounced around from foster home to foster home. Most of the time you need an escape from reality."
Looking into Jordan's eyes tells you all you need to know about the life he's lived. So much pain behind his eyes.
"I'm sorry." I feel compelled to say.
"Don't, I'm not trying to get any pity or sympathy."
"I'm not, I just—"
"Don't worry about it." The both of us just stand in front of each other for a few awkward seconds.
"So you ready to go?" I finally break the awkward silence.
"Yeah."
He follows me to the employee parking lot and to my car.
"Buckle up, safety first." I don't know why I just said that. I really hope I'm not going to be awkward this whole car ride home.
"Got it."
I turn the radio on, low enough so that if he wants to talk I can hear him but high enough that the silence isn't as noticeable.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He looks over at me with a downcast expression.
"What do you mean?"
"While I was in the bookstore I was thinking about how I'm just barging in on your life. You have a wife and kids, their whole lives are going to change in the snap of a finger. I don't want to cause problems for you and your family. I'm just some kid who for seventeen years you never knew existed, I can get out of this car right now and we can pretend that we never met each other."
Has this kid been hurt so much in his life that he thinks he shouldn't be loved or even cared for?
"The only place you're going is home with me. We all have our battles to fight and this just happens to be mine. I'm never going to run away from my responsibilities. Tomorrow we will get the results back and go from there."
"Okay." He nods his head in understanding.
We didn't talk the whole drive home, the music playing on the radio helps fill the void of the silence in the car.
We pull into the driveway and I stop to put the code in to my front gate.
"Damn is this your house?" His eyes widen as we drive through the gate and up the driveway.
"They don't have houses like this where I'm from."
I park my car in the garage and I can feel my stomach twisting and turning into knots. I have no clue how this conversation will go but I know it won't go well. I just hope that no matter what Rachel finds it in her heart to forgive me, I love my wife and I don't want to lose her.
I try to get out of the car but my body won't move, as if it knows that from this moment on my life will never be the same again.
"Are we going in?" Jordan asks.
I take one big inhale and one big exhale. Here goes nothing.
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