So I should be writing our school activity wherein we have to make a song parody about our chosen professions, but I got this instead…
"Dear Mr. Bennet"
Song Recommended: Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor
Here it goes…
MR. BENNET'S STUDY – DAY
The room is moderately large but neat. The bookshelves and desk are filled with books of different genres and topics. Two chairs are facing one another in front of the wooden desk and another chair is place behind it.
MR BENNET sits at the chair behind his desk, holding a book in his right hand. He flicks the book to the next page, using his other hand when the door opens to reveal an excited MRS BENNET who settled herself on one of the two chairs across her husband.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
Dear Mr. Bennet
Here's a few things
You'll need to do if you don't want
Poor nerves to haunt you all your life
MR BENNET sets down his book and looks at his wife. He props up his chin both hands, looking ready to listen. He knows his wife will not leave him alone until she says what she has to say so he lets her continue.
The spotlight is on MRS. BENNET.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
Go to Netherfield
Meet Mr. Bingley
And introduce the girls at the Assemba-lay
'Cause if you do it right
Here, MRS BENNET straightens on her sit and smiles at her husband.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
I'll be the perfect wife
Won't complain at all
And rest my poor nerves
You got your own mission
But, my dear, so do I
MRS BENNET stands up.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies
I could ask Hill and Cook
While you go read your book
MRS BENNET walks towards MR BENNET's side.
The spotlight follows MRS BENNET.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
Match-make with me
Come, match-make with me
You gotta know how to find the girls a husband
And when my poor nerves are vexed
Tell me everything's alright
MRS BENNET places her chin or MR BENNET's shoulder.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
Dear Mr. Bennet
Here's a few things
You'll need to do if you don't want
Poor nerves to haunt you all your life
MRS BENNET now sits herself on the wooden desk and dangles her legs on the side.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
Dear Mr. Bennet
If you really want that peace and quiet
Tell me you visited that young man on dinner tonight
MRS BENNET realises that she's sitting on a book. She stands up again, picks up the book and place it on the nearest shelf.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe help me set the girls up with a man
Even if I was wrong
MRS BENNET points at herself in disbelief and shakes her head.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
You know I'm never wrong
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?
MRS BENNET then drapes herself on the curtain behind MR BENNET.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
You gotta know how to find the girls a husband
Even if they don't want it
Tell me everything's alright
MRS BENNET then settles herself on MR BENNET's lap and smiles at him.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
Dear Mr. Bennet
Here's a few things
You'll need to do if you don't want
Poor nerves to haunt you all your life
MRS BENNET pulls on MR BENNET's cravat so that their faces are closer.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
Dear Mr. Bennet
Match make with me
Don't tease me dearest
I don't want to end up in hedgerows when you die
MRS BENNET kisses MR BENNET on the cheek before she stands up and walks toward the door. Before she opens the door, MRS BENNET turns her head back to her husband.
MRS BENNET
(Singing)
Mr. Bennet, don't vex me now
The door to MR BENNET's study closes shut and MR BENNET sits in silence.
FADE TO BLACK.
BONUS:
LONGBOURN'S SITTING ROOM – DAY
The room is large but not spacious. A couch is place on the middle and two coffee tables of different shape and size are beside it. There are also a few wooden chairs scattered around and a cabinet is located on the corner.
Multiple frames and decorations hang on the wall but nobody looks at it. The BENNET SISTERS' gazes are all focus on MR BENNET's study where MRS BENNET just exits from.
LYDIA and KITTY are sitting on the two chairs behind the couch, giggling uncontrollably. ELIZABETH is on the far end of the couch, her hands grasping the couch's arm, her expression full of shock. JANE is standing beside her, one hand rubbing ELIZABETH's back. MARY sits on the corner across them, looking in disapproval.
KITTY
(Spoken in between giggles)
Who knew Mama could sing like that?
LYDIA
(Spoken in between giggles)
Maybe you should take singing lessons from Mama, Mary.
MARY
(Spoken quietly)
I do not want to sing like that.
ELIZABETH
(Spoken in disbelief)
I could not believe it.
JANE
(Spoken)
I told you eavesdropping is bad.
This is so weird even I can't comprehend what happened.