It's been so long since I last posted I nearly forgot how to use the doc manager. Yikes.

Somebody left a review asking me to update Go the Distance, so of course I churned out a 4k first chapter of a JATP minific instead. Sorry lol. This show has pretty much consumed my life, and I am not going to be able to write about anything else until it has been purged from my body. Aka be prepared for some more jukebox content lmao.

I started an Ao3 account! If you prefer that platform, I will be posting this fic on both sites. Same username.

Hope you guys enjoy!

December 20th, 2020. 17:00. 5 Days to Christmas.

Julie Molina isn't quite sure where this cabbie found the confidence to fully jam out to Mariah Carrie's "All I Want for Christmas" while she's sitting in the backseat, but she isn't going to complain about it. Part of her kind of wants to go live on Instagram to showcase what looks like a waist-up rendition of the Mean Girls Christmas choreography, but that would mean stopping what is undoubtedly this person's moment to ask for permission. If she's learned anything from growing up in East Hollywood, it's that interrupting a diva at work is the ultimate sin.

She does take a video to send to Reggie, though, along with several pictures of the sign strapped to the back of the passenger seat that reads, "CHRISTMAS PARTIE MOBILE! WITH KANDIE KANE THE NAUGHTY ELF". She'd be a bad sister if she didn't.

His only response, "THAT'S FUCKING INCREDIBLE LMAO," comes just as the cabbie turns off the main road into her neighbourhood, so Julie taps out a quick heads up before slipping her phone back into her pocket and digging for her wallet. She tips Kandie Kane an extra ten dollars for entertainment value, grinning widely as they shimmy their red and green tinsel boa in thanks before slipping out of the backseat to grab her suitcase.

"Holy shit! You weren't kidding!" Reggie comes sprinting down the driveway before she can get the trunk open, forgoing helping his favourite sister, she stews, in favour of leaning into the driver's window to gush about how he is already "Their biggest fan!" By the time Julie has wrestled her suitcase to the ground, Reggie has learned Kandie Kane's real name ("Trevor has such a nice ring to it! You're going to be a star") and earned a handful of signed headshots and a Christmas Partie Elf BOGO50 voucher. The last they see of Trevor as they drive away is the flashing reindeer antlers strapped to roof and their tinsel boa waving gently in the breeze.

Reggie turns to her with mock tears in his eyes. "That was some fucking Christmas magic," he sniffs, and before she can stop laughing, he's scooped her up into a bear hug and is twirling her in circles on the sidewalk.

"Reg, I'm gonna throw up," Julie gasps, flailing her arms wildly in an attempt to dislodge herself from his grip. This kind of behaviour is exactly why she tried to convince their parents to sell him to the Cirque Du Soleil people when she was nine. Not only is her brother a fucking lunatic, he's got the reflexive skills of a chimpanzee. She smacks him a little harder.

"But I missed you so much," he wails dramatically. "You were gone for so long—"

"I text you every day— "

"But I never see your face—"

"I FaceTimed you at the airport this morning, you loser!" She smacks him again as he finally lets her down, and then tackles him again in a proper hug. "I missed you too," she mumbles, face pressed into the shoulder of his signature leather jacket. They don't speak for a long moment.

Mom gave him this jacket for his eighteenth birthday. Julie remembers the look on his face while she smoothed the hair out of his eyes and called him a proper rock star. She remembers how he sang Drops of Jupiter for the whole ward that night.

He slept in it for a year after the funeral.

They pull away eventually, and he ruffles her hair in that casually irritating way only big brothers can. "Oh, yeah. Before we go in, I should probably give you a heads up that Dad and Tía Victoria kind of invited the entire extended family," he warns sheepishly. Catching her accusatory glare, he holds his hands up in defense. "Hey, don't look at me. I tried to tell them you wouldn't want to come home to a Christmas party, but you know how Carlos gets about seeing Sabrina." Julie groans, burying her face in her hands. Her little brother's crush on their cousin's best friend is not a good enough reason to force her into awkward small talk with people she hasn't seen in nearly three years.

"Reggie, I hate people," she whines in a perfect impression of her little brother. "Can't you just hide me in the studio and tell them my flight got delayed or something?"

He snorts. "If bluffing worked, I would've been camped out there myself. Dad already knows you're here, so there's no escaping. Besides, the boys want to see you!"

She feels like she's been doused in a bucket of ice water. Her throat is suddenly parched. "Luke and Alex are here?" She spins around to face the street, scanning the row of parked cars until she spots it: Luke's old tour van, muddy tires and all. She spins back and smacks her brother again.

"Ow!"

"Why wouldn't you warn me that Luke and Alex were going to be here?" she hisses.

"I just did!" he yelps, dodging out of the way as she reaches for him again.

"Okay, why wouldn't you warn me that Luke and Alex were going to be here before I told Dad I was coming home?"

"I thought you knew!" he protests, rubbing his now mildly bruised arm. "Alex came with us to visit you last year, and it's just Luke. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that I haven't seen Luke in three years and it's fucking awkward! I haven't talked to him since he left for that music thing!" her voice is steadily rising in volume and pitch.

"Well, if you never came home to visit after Mom died it's your problem!" Reggie snaps back.

She's not sure if he means for it to come out as harshly as it does. Nevertheless, she catches the guilt in his eyes before he turns away, rubbing his temples and looking like he's fighting off a headache. It's only fair, she reasons, blinking the mist out of her eyes. She stares unseeingly at the sidewalk. She hasn't been home since she left for Vancouver three years ago, avoiding her family's invitations to home for Christmas. They fly up every year for the countdown instead, and she spends the time showing them the city and introducing them to her new friends. It's a system everyone is happy with, or at least that's what she tells herself. Then again, she knows her brother, knows how much he relies on family now that Mom is gone, and she can't help but pinch her lips together at the guilt that's now churning in her stomach. She's here now though, right? That has to count for something. She can't exactly make amends for not being there in the past, but she can do what she can to make this year special.

So she surrenders, the only apology that true siblings really know how to give. She takes a deep breath, shaking her head at the half-smile he aims her way and bending to hoist her duffle bag back over her arm. Reggie snags her suitcase in one hand, slinging his other arm over her shoulder, and together they march up the driveway like two soldiers going to war.

20:00.

There is not enough spike in this spiked eggnog. It's the first thing out of her mouth when she sees Alex again, who just laughs and envelopes her in his big bear hug.

"I think your dad thought it would be inappropriate to get everyone hammered at a family function," he grins, joining her in her refuge by the kitchen counter. She's decided that it's the perfect spot for Polite Introverts. It's both far enough from the action that none of her relatives will try to have the same mind-numbing conversation with her again ("How old are you now?" "Are you in school?" "What are you studying?") and close enough that her dad can't give her a disappointed lecture about acting like a "brooding teenager". Still, as annoyed as she is about being corralled into social interaction on her first night home, she can't help but smile to herself as she watches the members of her family. Her dad in the living room, lounged on the couch with Tío Edgar and shouting good-naturedly about their kids' rival soccer teams. Carlos in his red Los Feliz jersey, who's almost as tall as Reggie and nearly as lanky, sprawled on the pile of beanbag chairs in the corner. The tips of his ears are pink as Cousin Chelsea and Sabrina celebrate victory on Mushroom Gorge. Although, knowing how many hours her brother dedicates to his Nintendo Switch every day, Julie is pretty sure his blush has more to do with the wide smile that splits Sabrina's face when he lets her win.

"You missed them, huh?" Alex's sudden voice in her ear nearly makes her slosh the eggnog onto the carpet.

"Yeah," she smiles ruefully, not taking her eyes off the three teens. "I think about them every day."

"How come you're not over there with them?" She stares pointedly at her Tías Victoria and Maria, who are holding what seems to be a full out interrogation over her cousin Greyson's lack of university aspirations. The poor kid is fourteen, and he's already been sacrificed to the elders. She turns her head as he tries to catch her attention, eyes screaming for rescue. Sorry, kid. It's every Molina for themselves.

Alex grins. "Have they asked you where you study yet?"

"Only seven times in the last hour," she groans.

"And what did you tell them, Miss Scholar of the Family?" he teases, bumping her shoulder. She laughs and leans into him. Come to think of it, the eggnog is making her a little sleepy. Huh. Setting her glass on the counter, she puts on her best Good Girl smile and pitches her voice higher into what Flynn likes to refer to as her "customer service voice".

"Thanks for asking, Tía! I'm actually studying at UBC in Vancouver at the moment. I'm aiming for a Bachelor of Arts with a major in Psychology. Yes, it's in Canada. Yes, there's snow. No, the cold doesn't bother me too much. No, I'm not dating anyone, I'm focusing on school. Thank you for telling me that my mother never went to college and I should be proud," she rattles off the gist of her last five encounters until she and Alex dissolve into a fit of giggles behind the counter.

"How's Willie?" she asks when they've caught their breath. "I haven't seen him since you guys came up last year."

Alex's eyes soften visibly at the mention of his boyfriend. "He's doing really well! He's been working a lot these days, but since most of the kids are away for the holidays I've been able to see him more."

"That's awesome," she tells him, squeezing his hand. Willie teaches Beginner and Intermediate Youth Skateboarding down at the community centre. His go with the flow energy is the perfect balance for Alex's jittery nerves. "I'm so glad you're happy." She remembers all the times Alex used to come over in high school to hide from his parents. His parents were always the uber-religious, impersonal type, forcing their kids to grow up under the mold of a conservative society. The last she ever heard of Mr. and Mrs. Mercer was when Alex got himself emancipated after he came out. He lived with her family for over a year until he moved out on his own. Her stomach twists as she remembers how devastated he was when they left him behind for Arizona, not leaving him so much as a text goodbye – sans new address, of course.

Alex squeezes back. "It's good to have you home," he says softly, and then straightens up and flings out his arms. "You're the guest of honour and you haven't even said hello to everyone yet," he announces, grabbing her hand again and proceeding to drag her out the front door. "There's one more person you have to see."

Julie's palms are sweating. She's been avoiding this moment all night, ducking into the bathroom at convenient times and just generally making sure she doesn't run into one person in particular. "Alex, really, it's fine," she insists, trying to pull him back into the house. "I really don't need to see him."

"He's been looking for you all night. I told him I'd let him know when I found you."

"I know he has! I've just been making sure we are conveniently never in the same space at the same time," she admits, her sneakers squeaking as she braces them against the concrete. Alex's sigh is big enough to inflate a helium balloon. He turns to face her. Try as she might, she can't tug her hand out of his iron grasp, so they stand there pretending she isn't being held hostage in her own driveway.

The knowing look he gives her makes her feel like she is two years old. "Julie, you can't avoid Luke forever."

Her free arm coils around her middle protectively. "Alex, the last time I saw him I humiliated myself in front of the entire student body. It's too weird."

"Why does that make it weird?" When she merely stares at him, he prods her gently in the side. "Pretend I'm an idiot. Spell it out for me."

She lets out a breath. "Look, nobody here is blind. Everyone knows I had a giant crush on him growing up."

Alex furrows his brow. "So what? So did most of the other girls who went to our school. Well, except for the ones that were into Reggie," he amends.

"But that's the thing," she pushes. "They barely talked to any of them. They were both so invested in music and their guitars that they didn't notice everybody else either tearing me down for thinking I had a chance with Luke or kissing my ass to get close to Reggie." There's a look of guilt in his eyes, then, because she knows he remembers that she came to him for advice when she couldn't tell Reggie why she was crying in the girls' locker room.

"You and Reggie are my brothers. There's nothing weird there; I'd smack you for being stupid even if we hadn't seen each other in ten years," she grins as he pokes her playfully. "But I'm not some tweenage fangirl anymore. I don't know how to act like we're 'just friends'. And I'm sure as hell not going to start treating him like he's always been my brother because that's weird as shit." She's pacing back and forth across the driveway now, furious at her own cowardice. She's known this guy since she was in diapers, for fuck's sake. She watched him eat a worm once in third grade because Reggie dared him to. How pathetic is it that she can't face a worm-eater in her own house?

"Alex, I'm afraid of a worm-eater," she wails, not providing any further context. He blanches, but the look on his face simply reads, not going to go there.

"Julie, I promise it is not going to be weird. You're both adults, you can act like nothing happened and you didn't keep a picture of his face inside your phone case in middle school."

…What?

"How the fuck do you know about that?" she hisses, but he darts out of her grasp, grinning broadly. She chases him down the driveway, yelling, "I didn't even know you!". Alex cackles maniacally, ducking under the garage doors before she can grab the strap of his stupid fanny pack and force him to erase his own brain. She's going to murder him and then Reggie, the snitch.

It's not until she registers the sound of a guitar wailing that she remembers who else is in the studio tonight. Luke and Reggie are huddled around the piano, jamming out to a song she recognizes from Sunset Curve's many Instagram stories.

She will die before she lets Alex find out she's been stalking Luke's account to see what he's up to.

He looks different than she remembers. His shoulders are a little broader, and instead of the usual cropped sides and swept up bangs, he's grown his hair out a little past his ears. Despite the chillier temperatures, he's still rocking his favourite Landed in the USA! shirt with the sleeves cut off and he's currently attempting a stupid knee slide on her mom's blue area rug.

He looks, as Flynn would say, like a fucking snack.

Alex, sauntering up to the piano, catches her staring and smirks. He points to his phone in his back pocket. She flips him off, and his sickly-sweet smile is nothing less than vindictive when he leans over and mutters in Luke's ear.

She's actually going to kill him.

Luke spins around to face her, and despite her trepidation the disarming smile that splits his face is enough to wipe her mind of murder. He passes his guitar to Reggie and bounds across the room, stopping directly in front of her and grinning with childlike delight from ear to ear. He bounces on his heels, and she takes a moment to observe the familiar habit before breaking out into a tentative smile.

"You know, this is why you wear holes through all your jeans," she teases, and then he's sweeping her up into his arms and lifting her off the ground in one fluid motion and she's laughing because she can't believe she ever convinced herself that seeing him again would feel like anything less than coming home. He smells like eggnog and vanilla and that one cologne she got him for his eighteenth birthday, she notes offhandedly, burying her face in his chest.

"Hey stranger," he whispers in her ear. She doesn't need to pull away to hear the smile in his voice.

"Hi," she hugs him a little tighter. "Heard you guys played the Pit last month."

"It was sick!" He rests his chin on top of her head, a chuckle rumbling in his throat. "Wasn't the same without our lucky charm, though."

"You and Reggie could always just hug each other."

"You know nobody loves the bromance more than Alex, but sadly it doesn't always do the trick." She pulls away to roll her eyes and he just laughs, leading her over to the other guys with one arm still slung over her shoulder.

She's still kind of reeling at the easy way they've settled back into their usual dynamic: she's sandwiched between Luke and Reggie on the couch with Alex perched on the coffee table in front of them, poking fun at each other like she never left. She and Reggie tell Alex about Kandie Kane the Elf ("Are you fucking serious? Why wouldn't you invite me?"). The next thing she knows, Alex and Reggie have leapt to their feet in an attempt to imitate the choreography from the video she took, complete with hip wiggles and mimed flourishing of the tinsel boa. Luke grabs his electric, and together the four of them belt out Mariah's chorus with enough enthusiasm to rival the Macy's parade.

Reggie was right. This is some fucking Christmas magic.

Eventually, they settle down enough to head inside, drawn by the prospect of snacks and the fact that the driveway is no longer a battleground of family sedans. Ray Molina is standing at the kitchen counter as they enter, still giggling, but Julie laughter dies in her throat when she catches sight of his face. She elbows Reggie, who snaps his mouth shut to stand at attention.

"Where have you been?"

"We were just in the studio, jamming—" Luke flings his arm over Alex's shoulder, clamping his hand over the blonde's mouth and plastering a winning smile across his face. Beside them, the two siblings are locked in an intense staring match.

"You're older," Julie mutters. "It's only right that you die first."

"You're Dad's favourite," her brother hisses back, giving her a not so gentle shove forward. She shoots a deadly glare at him over her shoulder. Why does she always have to be the sacrifice? She smacks his hand away as her reaches to push her again. In front of them, Ray clears his throat impatiently.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she takes a few steps forward, feeling like she's approaching the bench in a court of law. Either that, or a wild bear in the woods.

"You promised me you were going to make an effort to spend time with family tonight," he reminds her sternly.

"And I did! I said hi to everyone and even talked about snow with Tía Maria for like ten minutes. She told me I'm probably going to get hypothermia and then have to get rescued by 'hooligans in polar bear skin'. I don't think she's a fan." The corner of Ray's mouth twitching and it looks like he's fighting a smile. The three boys watch with bated breath as Julie crosses the final few feet of distance between them, tucking herself under her father's arm. "I just wanted to say hi to the boys, and I had a really good time. Thank you for arranging everything, Daddy." And she closes her argument with her most agreeable smile.

Luke looks like wants to give this girl an Oscar. Ray Molina never could withstand the charm of the women in his family. Reggie can see him cracking, gaze flitting between his two children and his pseudo-sons, all of whom have their best puppy dog eyes on full display. He throws his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Alright, fine." He points at Alex and Reggie. "You boys better count your lucky stars that your sister is home. Don't stay up to late." Dropping a kiss to her forehead, he wanders up the stairs, shaking his head.

They stay perfectly still until he is out of sight.

"Our hero," Alex gasps, pretending to drop into a dead faint in Julie's arms.

"Do you know how many times Dad has busted me for doing dumb shit while you were gone? I never would've gotten away with your voodoo witch magic," her brother complains.

"It's not my fault you have no tact," Julie snickers back unsympathetically.

"It shouldn't matter! I'm the cute one in this family!" he all but shrieks. Beside him, Alex mimes stomping his foot, his face twisted in a poor imitation of Reggie's petulant expression. Luke is laughing so hard he's nearly doubled over onto the kitchen table, his face glowing cherry red.

Yes, it's good to be home.

The scene with Ray always makes me laugh. My sister is 3 years older than me, which is age the difference I like to imagine between Julie and the boys. This is pretty much our dynamic lol.

What did you think? Drop me a review if you liked it! I'm currently working on the next chapter as we speak so hopefully I'll have the whole thing up by Christmas. Then again, who knows? Make sure you follow so you don't miss an update :)