Chapter 5 - It's not a dream
If the marking on Glenys' arm had been more defined, we could have said for sure if it were the same symbol, however convincing Kimbela of that was like having a political debate with a maths teacher. She was convinced it had to be the same. True, it was the only thing that linked us.
We followed Celeborn's instructions and didn't leave our quarters. Celebrían and Galadriel brought us dinner, which saw the addition of a table and chairs in our room. But the company was much appreciated.
"Any news of the Southern boarder patrol?" I asked gingerly, noting that Celeborn still had not returned from that morning.
Celebrían's face fell slightly, and reached out to take my hand in hers, but it was Galadriel's grave voice that dealt the blow.
"There are no survivors."
x x x
The daughters from beyond the stars remained under the radar while Lorinand went into mourning.
Haldir returned three days after the event, having cremated the majority of the initial hundred and twenty Orc mass, and securely retrieved the eight fallen Wardens. Weary and devastated, his countenance brightened when he saw Kimbela waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs to her talon.
"~I'm so sorry for your loss.~" She spoke in elvish, her accent adding a strange but pleasant lilt to the words.
"~Thank you.~" He replied, wrapping his arms around her—allowing himself a moment to appreciate the small frame pressed against him. He thanked the Valar once again for her safety.
The Wardens were laid to rest by their families and friends, quiet affairs that the King commemorated with an honorary feast.
The 'sisters' sat with Celeborn's family, following the proceedings and many toasts as best they could.
All three companions felt scrutinising eyes bore into their backs as they left. Their presence had largely been ignored—a few side glances and murmurs, but nothing they hadn't expected. Yet, as they made their exit, Glenys found one particularly upright looking elf watched them with a disturbing amount of interest, or perhaps dislike.
While being escorted to their room, Haldir kept Kimbela behind and presented her with a once familiar object. Her para-cord which he had retrieved and crafted into a bracelet once again, using decorative elven knots. It fit snuggly around her thin wrist. Little did Kimbela know then, but this was the first of many gifts and hours whiled away with the Marchwarden.
Sun and moon passed over head, their passing counted dutifully as days turned to weeks. Music and stories filled the time the daughters from the stars spent together. They shared tales about their lives, passions and hopes, and what lay ahead of them in life—which inevitably ended in fantasising about what adventures were to be had in Middle-earth.
Gunda taught Kimbela to play the guitar and indulged Glenys in a polka or two.
"I don't know what I want to do in life. But I don't want to limit myself. Just because I'm good at music…doesn't mean it's all I've got going for me." Gunda pondered aloud when Glenys asked if she would take up teaching music full-time. "I feel…I have more to give. Like I need to DO something."
Glenys raised a disbelieving brow. "Is there anything you can't do?! I mean, you play music. You dance. You Sing. You tell stories. You sew. You bake. You're practically a walking encyclopaedia for this place," Glenys was rapidly running out of fingers. "Now you can fight Orc's too."
"I mean something meaningful!" Gunda pushed Glenys' shoulder playfully.
Kimbela recounted stories of a happy life. A father who encouraged her to do everything she wanted to do, that nothing could restrain her but herself. Her plans had shifted between being a park ranger, a historical warfare specialist, and her latest musing to study wood joinery or creating a new affordable type of housing.
"You mean like tiny houses?" Gunda asked, fascinated.
Kimbela shrugged undecidedly. "A bit more eco friendly. Though, I'm not sure that's possible in our society."
"People can't live without social media. There will always be demand for technology." Glenys sighed, inspecting her nails.
"You seem to be doing fine."
Glenys cast them an impish grin before deadpanning. "I'm suffering in silence."
Kimbela's thoughts were incredibly in depth and they had many philosophical discussions about the 'after life' and 'alternative dimensions'. She argued that Middle-earth had to exist because its concept was conceived by a human mind. Gunda added that if it did not exist, how where they there? Glenys just nodded and listened happily like they were bed time stories. Adding in her own thoughts on the supernatural, which she said she had once contacted.
A young man Glenys believed had died long ago for he had worn ancient looking clothes. He had looked handsome, she recounted, long hair and combed beard, braided and beaded. He had smiled at her, as if thankful to have seen her. "But that must have been my imagination."
Glenys made no mention of her home life, or of her tendency to be extremely shy, nor that acting up was her defence. She didn't want to make excuses, though she suspected her companions were figuring her out slowly. Instead she happily reminisced on her time studying to be an actor but had quickly discovered it was not what she had expected (too much Shakespeare), and had switched to midwifery instead.
As days rolled past, they braved the outside and ventured out for walks, desperate to avoid cabin fever. The guards were inevitable, they realised, and a direct order from the King.
The King didn't ask to see them, which for the most part the girls felt was a god-send, but they could not shake off the feeling that the radio silence had unseen and unwanted consequences.
Gradually, Lord Celeborn's abode became their favourite place to retreat, and friendship was quick to blossom with Celebrían who eagerly helped Gunda answer Glenys' questions about code and conduct. This thrilled Glenys who started to look less and less like a thundercloud when out and about. Knowing it was no crime to admire the lithe beings, so long as one didn't ogle them or say someone looked 'hot' in public.
Celeborn and Galadriel were patient and gracious guardians. Open minded and good listeners as the three girls batted ideas between themselves. What, if anything, linked them. How the weapons worked. What were they doing there in the first place, and what to do about Gunda's 'gift'.
"Am I seen as a threat?" Gunda asked cautiously when she had a moment alone with the lordly couple.
Celeborn shared a look with his wife, and drew a long steady breath.
"Your words were vague and open ended. Bare that in mind Gunda. And prepare to be asked difficult questions."
Gunda nodded, her gaze far off. "If something happens to me. Will you look after Kimbela and Glenys? Please."
Her forward request was met with agreement, though Galadriel assured her it would not be necessary. Gunda smiled. She only wished to cover any and all possibilities.
Three weeks from the day of the attack fast approached, nearing mid to end of September if the girls own calendar was correct. Walks through fair Lorinand brought no certainty of the seasons. The leaves remained green, but cooler guests blew through the trees, bringing the scent of moss and soft damp branches.
The guards whom Amdír had assigned to watch over the 'Sellathelen', would tell them the date and season, however they counted from equinoxes which only confused them—Glenys especially.
"No, like, what month is it? September? August?"
Gunda could only look perplexed as the Wardens explained the counting of the Loa. "They don't have words for those months…they go by seasons." She listened some more, and translated. "Of which there are six."
"Naw fuck that. I'll stick to my cold season and less cold season." At Gunda and Kimbela's furrowed brows she added. "I come from the Northern Isles. We have wet and windy, and cold and windy—with a few lovely days in-between."
"That sounds harsh." Haldir commented from where he walked beside Kimbela. Hands touching but not entwined.
The three companions didn't complain about the chained freedom they had been afforded. Though they didn't like it, it was made easier by the fact that they knew those who escorted them.
They meandered through another morning, wishing something—anything—might offer answers, or adventure. A restlessness gnawing at their souls demanded it.
x x x
"If I may, I wish to keep Kimbela a moment longer." Haldir smiled kindly, polite as ever.
A broad smile swept across my face as Kimbela's gaze met mine, a plea to please let her stay a little longer in his company.
"Of course. You needn't ask!" I beamed, winking at Kimbela as I swept Glenys into the bathing talon.
Having been out for a long walk in the forest, breathing the crisp fresh air and delighting in its beauty, I felt in need of a bath. My hair was becoming greasy and I was sure if I left bathing any longer I'd see elves wrinkling their noses in disgust. Not that I smelled too bad, but I had to remember that elven senses were that much keener then our human ones.
"What do you suppose is going on there?" Glenys asked, positively overflowing with girlish giggles.
I shrugged. "The same as has been happening for three weeks at this point." I said, pulling my dress over my head. "So nothing out of the ordinary. You having a bath?"
Glenys had seated herself on the bench, contemplating one thing or another. I would never understand how her mind worked, then again where was the fun in that?
"Actually, yeah. A bath sounds great, give me a second."
I waved an acknowledging hand, wading into the steaming waters. I had wondered how they get the water so fresh and hot, but decided not to worry myself with science in a world of magic.
Glenys and I relaxed against the edge of the pool, watching Lorinand as we usually did.
"Has it really been three weeks?" Glenys sighed, running her fingers through her wet hair. The blonde had begun to grow out, revealing dark hair a few shades lighter than her bewitching eyes.
"Feels like longer." I answered, and she nodded.
I sank into the water and groaned as the muscles in my back loosened. "Oh I could really use a nice mug of hot chocolate right about now. What about you?"
"Nah, I need coffee!" Glenys said dismissively, smiling. "A nice big mocha with extra foam in the shape of a rose."
I looked at her with amusement. I had half expected her to say she missed her manicures.
Her long nails drummed on the tiles, assessing the look I gave her.
"What? I'm not a morning person. I need my morning coffee to function."
"No need to tell us, we know." I joshed.
Glenys gave a heavy sigh and rested her head on her crossed arms.
"Gee?"
"Hmm." I hummed back as I too rested my chin on my arms. By now I had been given the nickname of 'Gee' by Glenys, though she didn't use it in polite company—yet.
"Do you think, um, that there is someone, out there, in this world…for us?" Her tone was slightly somber, a hint of longing clinging to it.
"I don't see why not." I replied truthfully, answered by a low drawn out hum. "Why do you ask?" I turned my head to look at her properly.
She huffed and glanced at me. I offered her a kind smile as a thoughtful expression crossed her face. "Do you have someone at home?" I added and her eyes widened.
"N-no."
I wished to recoil inwardly. I had hit a nerve.
She swallowed thickly, eyes down cast.
"I broke up with Dave for good…" She wetted her parted lips. A shallow breath escaping her. "I guess I just miss the company of a boyfriend. If you get me…"
I rested a hand on her shoulder briefly and jokingly chirped, "Well, you learned not to go for Elven Kings."
"Oh he is sooo not my type." She drawled, rolling her eyes dramatically.
I blinked. "What?"
She grinned at me. "Good to know I've still got the talent."
"Okay, then please humour me. What was the whole thing with King Amdír?"
The look she gave me was the type that said she'd take her secrets to the grave.
"You were scared, and he wanted to know about your 'foresight'."
I frowned, bewildered. "So you tried to flirt with him?!"
She burst out laughing, bringing her hand to her chest as though insulted. "If that's how you want to see it. I'm an actor remember?"
I shook my head in relieved disbelief. "But why?" I asked, more baffled than ever.
"Because…I didn't know how else to help you. Other than to distract him." For the briefest moment, a haunted look crossed her soft carven features. "And I won't lie, I did it for myself too. I wanted to feel alive again." Her voice faded to no more than a breath.
"Thank you."
Glenys looked surprised. Not expecting to be thanked, but her appreciation was mirrored in her beaming grin.
"No problem. You're a nice person Gunda. I don't say that lightly."
My gut clenched painfully, cautiousness simmering. I had to turn to the window, mumbling a 'thanks, you too' so as to avoid looking angry at her. I didn't feel I deserved such praise.
I played my usual game of 'spot the difference', though little ever changed. Possibly a few birds flying across the sky.
As our conversation died down, my mind returned to troublesome thoughts.
It had occurred to me as I lay awake one night, that I'd understood what the Orcs had shouted during the attack. The only sane thing to do had been to visit Galadriel. She'd suggested I was gifted with languages. It perplexed me enough to to speak Sindarin fluently, where before I had none, but to add Black Speech to the list?
As if to prove her point, she had asked, in that lilting voice of hers;
"Ma istal quet'Eldarin?"
My mouth had nearly hit the floor while my brain hopped out my skull. I knew it was not Sindarin, and yet understood the gist of her words. With a knowing smile, Galadriel started an introductory lesson in Quenyan. I was probably overly enthusiastic about it, but Galadriel seemed equally so as her mother tongue was banned in the Sindar Realms.
That discovery only led to more bothersome questions. Why could I understand these languages?
It's not a dangerous discovery, I just want something else to be annoyed at.
"Do you ever find yourself playing spot the difference?" Glenys asked, breaking the silence. If ever there was a deja-vu moment, this was one of them.
"Yes!" I nodded, chuckling.
Glenys was looking rather intently at something a little further down, and had begun to pull herself out of the pool to get a closer look.
My curious side got the better of me and I too half pulled myself out to lie on the floor and look out the opening.
"Well, there's something you don't see everyday." Glenys smiled wickedly, pointing at one of the platforms built below us.
I followed the line of her finger and sure enough, there was a couple standing, talking. I squinted, the figures coming into focus. It was Haldir and Kimbela. Heating with self-consciousness, I slid back into the pool to give them some privacy, however Glenys did not.
"Glenys, she is perfectly alright, there is no need to spy on her!" I chided.
"I'm being a good friend and making sure no one else sees this." Glenys countered, obviously referring to the fact that King Amdír might have more eyes on us than we were aware of.
"Still…it isn't right!"
Glenys let out a gasp, I immediately assumed the worst. Had Amdír found them? I slid onto the floor again.
They were embracing.
"Really Glenys?" I sighed in exasperation, looking at her, a bit miffed that both of us were spying on Kimbela.
"What? You want to miss out on that?!"
I shook my head at her. "Miss wha- Oh!" My jaw nearly flopped open for the second time that day at the sight that greeted my eyes.
I had meant to slip back into the pool but this was hard to miss when my mind was subconsciously on high alert for Amdír or anyone who might tell him of…that.
I remained shocked into stillness before shaking myself back into my senses and slid back into the water, pulling Glenys in after me. Glenys still tried to convince me to go back and make sure no one else was privy to their 'alone time'.
"How would you like it if someone was spying on you kissing someone you fancied? Huh?" I asked, arching a brow at her. She raised a finger, mouth open, but a thoughtful expression crossed her face and she declined to counter my argument.
"Should we tell her?" Glenys asked, her tone now coloured with embarrassment.
"Absolutely not! We saw nothing, savvy?" I tilted my head to the side as if to ask if she understood.
"Savvy." Glenys grinned. "I think they're cute together."
"They certainly compliment each other." I answered dreamily as I got out the pool and proceeded to dry myself.
"Are you jealous?" Glenys asked as she too got out of the water and wrapped her towel around her.
"No." I answered, amused that she would think that. "Why? Are you?"
She rolled her head from side to side before concluding,
"A little. They just seemed to snap right away."
I smiled at her and gave a slight shrug. "Some people just know."
Her expression became disconnected as she adjusted the towel around her shapely frame. Her mind miles away from her body. She looked peaceful, and yet pensive.
"Chin up, one day you'll meet someone and you'll just 'click'." I said, snapping my fingers for emphasis. She looked at me with shy but hopeful eyes.
"Can I ask you something Gee? And don't judge me for it."
I nodded with a reassuring 'of course'. She sat down beside me as I pulled on a pair of silk slippers that matched my dress.
"Do you think me stupid for believing in love?"
"No." I answered without missing a heart beat. "No I do not."
Her whole being lit up like a lamp, as though this were the first time anyone had agreed with her. "Really?!"
"Yes." I giggled, pressing my palms into the edge of the bench and leaning forward.
"What makes you believe?"
I held her gaze. She was like a toddler, asking deep reaching questions I had no real concrete answer to. What did I believe?
I remembered my parents. The sometimes childish antics and bright laughter when Pappa chased Mamma with the icing sugar duster. The kitchen looked like winter on a pathetically low budget and I'd wanted to wash my eyes with strong soap after witnessing my parents kiss. I remembered what they said of love and how they always seemed to show the exact opposite. Then again, they'd had years of working at it.
"Nothing but faith."
Glenys looked as if I'd given her the most wholesome response life could answer. "So you're a believer too?"
I shrugged a shoulder. "The romantic in me believes wholeheartedly. The pragmatist in me says I can't trust it as far as I can throw it."
Glenys arched a brow. A beam of light painted her skin golden, highlighting her light freckles. "Forget the pragmatist for now. What does the right side say?"
I grinned at her eagerness. Exploring this endearing side of my usually grumpy companion was most satisfactory.
"Yes. I'm a believer."
We emerged from the bathroom sweet smelling and dressed in ash silver tunic dresses. Though they reached our ankles, they still needed ribbons and belts to fit to our bodies. I preferred simple and practical over some of the finer dresses Vanya brought us from time to time.
As we crossed the flet, Kimbela came hurrying across one of the abridging platforms. An urgent look on her sweet face.
"Hey! What's up?" I asked, knitting my brows together and taking her outstretched hands in mine.
What had happened to her? Had they been discovered? Worry shot through me like a sharp sting, shortly followed by weighty guilt.
"You have to come! Something's happening!" She panted slightly. Eyes wide.
"Calm down." I soothed. "I'm sure it can't be all that bad-"
"They are talking about you!"
Her panicked state was most unlike her. Who had she been eves-dropping on?
"Lord Celeborn and the King!" Kimbela finished, looking desperately to Glenys as well. "I think they are having a serious disagreement."
x
A little while later all three of us were skulking around the suspended pathways that meandered through the trees.
I knew we were in the wrong. Acting suspiciously and heading to listen in on the King no less, but Kimbela had insisted I come and translate. Glenys was of course onboard. After our little heart to heart I had begun to see her in another light. It didn't stop my heart and head from pounding with dubiousness.
Kimbela led us to a particularly large tree with a sizeable clearing below. It resembled a private garden. A spring with a fountain in the centre, marble carved benches and beautiful flowers lined the circumference of the grass. It was almost a lawn it was so pristine.
Kimbela continued to a platform that looked like it hadn't been used in a while. Branches laden with green leaves hung so low we would have to scramble on our fronts to get to the other side.
Kimbela turned to us and whispered hastily. "Glenys, will you take watch. Make sure to alert us if someone is coming our way."
"Why not Gunda?!" Glenys hissed, half forgetting why we were sneaking around in the first place. Kimbela rolled her eyes.
"Because Gunda can understand elvish." She hissed back.
"Oh yeah…shit. Go!" Glenys shooed us on, standing close to the tree to keep an eye on the various pathways above and around us.
Kimbela crouched down and scuttled under the greenery. The next thing I saw was her hand poking out from the leaves, waving at me to follow her.
With a regretful groan, I knelt down and crawled on my belly along the wooden surface.
"How did you even come across this place?" I whispered to Kimbela who had taken up position on the very edge of the platform, her head hanging over so she could see the garden below.
I copied her while waiting for an answer.
"Haldir was called away to deal with something and I decided to take a wander."
"Okay." I said but she shushed me, raised a finger and pointed to a pair of tall light haired figures who were walking along the outer edge of the grass.
Sure enough, it was Lord Celeborn and King Amdír, hands by their sides or clasped behind them.
Their voices carried on the air and I turned my head to the side to hear them better. After a few moments, I looked at Kimbela and gave her a look as if to say 'nothing interesting'.
"They are talking about someone coming back…I think it's Amdír's son." I whispered.
"Anything about you, or us?" Kimbela was determined there was something fishy going on. Her voice, though in a whisper, gave that much away.
"Well, a little. They are going to ask us to attend the big welcome home feast they are throwing for the prince. Celeborn doesn't sound happy about something though."
"Are you sure that's all?" Kimbela's whispering voice was becoming stressed. "I thought I heard them mention something…what's a Gil-Galad?"
I groaned internally, sliding back fully onto the platform. I wasn't in the mood to explain that Gil-Galad was a 'who', not a 'what'. Nor that he was the High-King I had so shamelessly sung about. Did the High-King think me a threat too?
I held my head in my hands, unsure of what to do.
Kimbela rolled to my side and touched my shoulder. The shadows dulled her kind but questioning eyes.
"~…arrangement. I dislike that the three of them belong to no race nor tribe of man. Tis logical in an illogical situation.~" King Amdír spoke from below. His voice taut, like ice on a lake fracturing rapidly.
"~I disagree.~" The Lord said, stern but not impertinent. "~She is young and afraid. Do not force such a decision on her. Protecting them from outside forces may only open them to an internal one.~"
My breath caught in my chest. Eyes catching Kimbela's in a moment of intense fright.
"~As their Guardian, I strongly object.~" Lord Celeborn finished.
"~Do not forget your place here Celeborn.~"
I clamped a hand over Kimbela's mouth as she went to speak. Urgently pressing my finger to my lips then pointing at the floor between us, indicating they were directly below us.
"~I do not. But I urge you not to let your dignity rule your conscience.~"
My lungs screamed for air and I sucked in a painfully shallow breath, trying to be quiet. My mind ran on high alert. What arrangement? What threat?
"~They stand a better chance of being protected from any threats if she complies. Gunda is a smart girl. She will understand. Do not challenge me further. I know of your preference for an alternative, however marriage is effective and recognised immediately.~"
Those words dealt a heavy blow to my chest. My lungs crumpled like a letter set on fire, and I felt any sense of worldly worth trickle out my being.
I hated feeling trapped.
"~What of Gunda's happiness?~"
I couldn't sit and listen to them anymore. I dropped my hand from Kimbela's mouth and crawled out from the dense cover of leaves.
"Gee!" Kimbela hissed, scrambling out after me.
Glenys, who was keenly staring off into the distance before my emerging, stopped me and gave me the same bewildered look as Kimbela did a second later.
"Girl what the hell's happened? What did they say?" Kimbela urged in a hushed whisper, slapping my cheek gently to get a response from me.
My chest heaved, trying to get air into my lungs which were under attack from some heavy unseen pressure pushing down on me. I looked between calm blue and deep dark eyes, then dredging up a morsel of courage I answered.
"I—I think we're in trouble."
x
My heart beat so hard it hurt. The world around me blurred. The only sure thing I was aware of was that both Kimbela and Glenys held my hands as we walked back.
Every so often Kimbela would assure curious elves I was alright.
"~Warden.~" A calm male voice called, having stopped us and given me a look over.
"~Yes my Lord?~" An unfamiliar voice answered.
Dazed, head reeling, I caught only the vaguest details of the Lord. His eyes. They instilled a creeping terror in me.
I shivered and beside me Glenys gripped my arm tighter as if in warning.
"~Escort these Ladies to their room. This one does not look well.~"
The Warden wasted no time in picking me up and carrying me swiftly to our talon. Setting me down by the door and asking if we needed anything.
x
The water cup trembled in my hold.
Kimbela and Glenys sat on the other side of the table from me. Barely holding back their impatience.
"Gee, what do you mean we're in trouble?" Kimbela asked as I took another long sip.
"Gee?!" Glenys pressed, making me jump.
"He…Celeborn…Kim you were right."
"Please don't ever call me that." Kimbela deadpanned.
"Sorry." My brain stalled. If I pushed to make sense of what I'd heard everything went blank and swamped in disbelieving. I swallowed slowly. Forcing my lips and tongue to form words. "Celeborn…hinted at a possible threat."
"To us?" Glenys' shrill voice caused me to wince. "Do you think it's that elf who's been watching us?"
I shrugged, not really paying attention. "There is to be a…feast for Amdír's son. We will be invited…and I think…"
The words caught in my throat. Was I assuming to know what would happen? Celeborn had sounded genuinely upset when he asked if my happiness meant anything to the King.
"I think he's going to marry me off."
The silence that followed spoke for itself.
"Marry you off? To who?" Glenys demanded, stretching across the table and shaking my forearms roughly until Kimbela told her to leave me alone.
"Can't you see she's in shock?!" Kimbela scowled at Glenys—who payed her no heed.
"I don't know Glenys." I said shakily. "But from the way he spoke, it could only be one person."
"Fuuuuck. Not the Prince?!"
With a nod from me, Glenys raked her fingers through her hair and planted her forehead on the table. Kimbela remained frozen.
I clenched my hand into a tight fist. Refusing to let the anger building inside me win. It raged within me, like a storm captured in a bottle that threw its mights against the glass. Sometimes, that glass was so dangerously close to breaking.
The anger was a part of me. A dark part of me and I hated it. So much.
I pushed my fists into my temples, gritting my teeth together.
Marriage. To keep us safe…could I do that? Could I be that selfless? I had heard what they'd said. But did I understand?
"Just tell them to fuck right off. They can't do this! They have no right to-"
I slammed my fists on the table. "THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT!"
Glenys started in her seat at the shards of glass that splintered through my voice, reverberating around the room.
Tears stung my eyes. "We wandered into their lands. We don't belong here. We were not born in Middle-earth, we do not belong to any of the races here, not even men. And this fucking 'foresight' just makes everything so much more complicated!" I looked to them both, wide eyes betraying my inner most thoughts.
"But why would he want you to marry his son if it's so complicated?" Glenys asked, tone sharp but words well meaning.
"I don't know." I trembled, feeling my voice vibrate from holding back sobs. "I'm sorry…I just don't know."
I buried my face in my crossed arms and let sob after shuddering sob wrack my body.
I searched my soul for a scrap of resilience, of meaning, anything to ward off the emptiness that gnawed away at me since my arrival. A swirling pit of jagged blackness. Cold and desolate. What would I fear more if I called into it? The echo, or an answer.
Once, I had wondered what life on my own would feel like. What bravery I needed to overcome the fractured reflection I saw in the mirrors. To take that step, and make my destiny mine.
But to what end?
Hands gently pulled me up and guided me to a thin shoulder. Another set of arms wrapped around me from behind. Wet patches formed on my shoulder and back where their silent tears fell too.
"It's alright Gee. Just let it all out." Glenys soothed, voice soft and siren like as she rocked us gently from side to side. "I didn't mean to make you upset."
"It's not you." I sniffed. "It's the whole situation."
"I'm scared."
Kimbela's soft plea tugged on my heart strings.
I wrapped my arm over her shoulders and kissed the crown of her head, resting my hand on Glenys' arm.
"Me too."
I squeezed Glenys' arm, nodding in what felt like defeat to myself.
"So am I." I admitted, drawing breath after breath. "I think we have to start facing the possibility that Middle-earth…isn't a dream anymore."
I felt them both nod. Kimbela nuzzling her head into my shoulder for comfort.
"I felt this should have be a dream too. But all my instincts and senses scream that this place is very much real." Kimbela sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "I mean…it fits. We all have the blank in our memories. The dreams. We were all in Stockholm. We also have this symbol in common."
"It's just piecing together what it all means." Glenys finished off.
Dread rumbled inside me. All these clues, after all that had befallen us, the blank was like not knowing what the future held. People wanted to know it so badly, until they knew it.
"What if that blank is protecting us from something. What if…finding out what we can't remember will only cause us harm?"
We fell silent for a moment. Knowing we would get nowhere without some answers to other questions first.
"Can we be honest with ourselves a moment? Because unsettling as things are at the moment, I've never felt more alive than I have here." The smile Glenys wore was soft and sweet—dream-like. "There's nothing sane about blue fire lamps, elves, swimming pools in trees or those creatures we kill like we've been taught to fight since we walked. But it's…invigorating. No?"
"I like it here too. A lot." Kimbela chimed, sitting up, crossing her legs and resting her chin in her hands.
"You mean you like Mr. Handsome. A lot." Glenys teased, winking at her as she righted herself.
I giggled.
"Yes, Haldir is part of the reason I like it here." Kimbela admitted without shame. "But have you ever felt so at peace? Not that killing those weird dudes out there is peaceful, but there is a tranquility here, a feeling of being able to relax and just being able to…be."
I couldn't deny that I liked the ambiance of Lorinand. There was no rush. People took their time and savoured their tasks. As though entering the golden forest hit a hiatus button on life itself.
"I don't know how we ended up here." Kimbela continued after a brief pause. "But I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe we weren't fulfilling our full potential in 'our world', so we've been sent here to do just that."
"Yeah, 'cos we're too awesome for a world with just humans!" Glenys cheered, punching the air with her fist in triumph.
"Hell yeah!" Kimbela and Glenys high-fived then crashed into me from both sides in a crushing bear hug.
Kimbela glanced at me with purposeful eyes. "Speaking of which, we need plan how to get you out of this stupid arrangement."
I sighed. Her positivity was infectious, and it was difficult to refuse when they formed human walls either side of me.
Celebrían's lively person glided in five minutes later with a late lunch.
Fresh cheese scones and roasted vegetables. We ate far too much, but Celebrían encouraged it. She hated left overs, and I could see her cooking skills coming in handy when she had two lively boys running around her in the distant future.
"You're an angel Celebrían, don't ever change."
"What's an angel?" Her blue eyes sparkled with intrigue, tucking a lock of her silvery hair behind the delicate point of her ear.
"It is someone with a beautiful and kind soul." Glenys continued, tilting her head to the side, delighting in Celebrían's delicate blush at having been called such.
"Thank you Mellon. You are all angels too."
Kimbela flicked her brows at me and made horns with her index fingers, and we fell into a fit of giggles when Celebrían copied her.
"Think of the Valar as the angels, and the enemies of the Valar as demons." I smiled after explaining the meaning behind the gesture.
"Do you use it as an insult? The way some would use the term Orc?" Celebrían asked.
"Er…you could." Kimbela answered, arching a suspicious eyebrow.
"It depends on the context." Glenys added.
Celebrían went quiet for a moment. "I hope you will not think me or my parents demons after tonight."
"No. Why would we?" I asked, worried by the forlorn look on her face and wondering if I should admit to our little excursion that morning.
"The Prince is arriving. And we," she indicated the four of us, "Are invited to the feast. I dare not say any more, but-"
"We know." I said flatly. "And it does not reflect badly on you or your family. His Majesty is no doubt doing what he deems is in everyones best interest."
All three looked at me with shock or surprise. Sadness flashed across Glenys' face.
Celebrían looked at me with something close to helplessness and took my hand in hers. "I should have guessed you would know."
"We eavesdropped on the King and your father earlier." Kimbela stated dryly, resting her chin on her drawn-up knee.
Celebrían chuckled to herself, reclining in her seat. "You are full of surprises. Father will not allow it to pass easily." She glanced out the window and sighed. "I am afraid I must take my leave now. I will come for you later and we shall get ready together. But do not leave for any other reason."
Celebrían's absence left a heaviness hanging in the air. One none of us felt particularly keen on addressing.
My eyelids grew heavy. Good food and nights of bad sleep pushed me towards my bed. Kimbela asked if I felt alright and I answered that I was simply tired.
They lay either side of me, a cozy embrace to keep warm and to fit on the bed. My heart weighed heavily in my chest. Guilt. I wasn't ready to give up my life for anyone. I wanted the right person—if that was anyone at all.
Do we really have a choice?
"Who is watching us?"
"Not sure, I thought it was that Lord we met on our way back."
"He's probably working for Amdír." Kimbela whispered as I slid into oblivion.
x x x
The dream was unlike the others.
Storm winds whipped my skin.
"Your journey has only just begun."
The earth pulsed beneath my feet. Rooting me to the spot.
"Fate favours the brave."
Black clouds accumulated above me. I wanted to run and yet dared it to do it's worst.
"You are not without weakness."
Thunder rumbled, reverberating in my very blood. Something called to me. Greater than anything I could compare it to.
"Together."
Lightening struck right behind me, scorching my back.
x x x
I started awake. My back felt uncomfortable and my head buzzed.
There was a strange noise outside. I frowned and woke the others.
"Do you suppose it's the Prince?" Kimbela asked, crossing her arms to keep warm as we peered out the window.
We couldn't see anything, but there was an unusual din of horses, clinking of metal and chatter.
"Gee, please tell me you're not considering marrying him." Glenys' voice was fragile enough to be considered pleading.
I didn't answer right away. My mind in too many places at once to contemplate her words immediately.
"Would you hate me if I did. If it meant keeping us safe."
Their reactions were instant.
"I'd kill you, bring you back to life and kill you again!" Glenys exploded.
"You're not marrying anyone against your will girl. End of." Kimbela sliced a hand through the air. "And if we are in danger, we will deal with it."
Their support was an overwhelming comfort. I pulled them into me before I reduced myself to tears again.
Three weeks, and we acted as though we'd known each other for years—a lifetime.
This is what friendship should feel like, right?
I sensed someone enter the room and looked up expecting to find Celebrían.
A Warden stood, cloaked and hooded, at the far end.
A steel blade gleamed in his hand and a chair had been propped under the door handle.
Thanks for reading!
Quenya
Ma istal quet'Eldarin? - Can you speak Elvish?
Sindarin
Sellathelen - star daughters