October 2019

"Doing security for him and everything like that, it gave my life purpose; helped me turn my whole life around. I just wish I was able to tell him that. Now I never will." Ben sighed sadly as the realization washed over him. Ciara looped her arms loosely around Ben's neck and rested her head on his shoulder.

After a moment, Ciara picked her head back up. As Ciara shrugged her shoulders slightly she softly said, "What if you can?" Ben turned his head slightly to face Ciara, "What...? You said Stefan has no brain activity and if he wasn't on those machines..." Ben couldn't finish his thought and let out a shaky sigh. C

iara thinned her lips to a line, "I know Stefan won't be able to hear you say those words but it might make you feel better, to at least know you said those words to him." Ciara shook her head slightly, "Ne—nevermind. I—it was a stupid idea." Ciara sat up straight. Ben bit his lip, considering Ciara's words carefully.

After a long moment of silence, Ben spoke one word, "Okay." Ciara turned to face Ben, "'Okay'? Ben nodded, "Yeah, you're right." Ben took a deep breath, "Will... will you go to the hospital with me? I don't know if I can do it on my own" Ciara nodded slightly and smiled ever so slightly, "Of course."

Ben clutched Ciara's back tightly as he slowly knocked on Stefan's hospital room door. Ciara opened it slightly and cleared her throat, "Gabi?" Gabi turned around slightly and saw Ciara and Ben standing there. Gabi sighed and stood up sharply. "If you're here about my husband's heart, I don't want to hear it." Gabi crossed her arms and gave Ciara a little glare. Ciara slowly stepped toward Gabi with her hands raised, "I'm not here for my Grandma. Please."

Gabi eyed Ciara for a second and nodded ever so slightly. Ben stepped into the room and looked over to Stefan. Ben looked at his boss and friend is disbelief, "No, no. This can't possibly be right." Gabi nodded, "I so wish that was the case. But it's true." Gabi let out an emotional shaky sigh, "Stefan has no chance of recovering." Ben took a step toward Gabi and scoffed, "How many people has that been said about in this town? Can-can't that Dr. Rolf make some kinda magic serum and bring Stefan back or something?"

Ben's words only caused more tears to form in Gabi's eyes. Ciara softly said, "Ben…" Ben felt two small hands on his shoulder and a kiss on his spine. Ben walked over to Stefan's bed and Gabi looked at Ciara with her arms still crossed, "If you're not here about Julie, then why are you here?" Ciara pointed at Ben, "I'm just here to support Ben. He... he wanted to say goodbye to Stefan." Gabi glanced at Ben and her face softened ever so slightly. As much as Gabi hated to admit it, she and Ben were in a similar boat: both losing one of the only people that cared about them.

Gabi sighed, "Why don't you spend a few minutes with Stefan? I-I need to go check on Ari." Gabi left without another word.

Ben let out a heavy sigh and Ciara leaned down and kissed the side of Ben's head, "I'll give you some space." Ciara turned to walk away when Ben gripped her lower arm, "Would you? Stay?" Ciara nodded and smiled ever so slightly. Softly Ciara said, "Of course."

Ciara placed a supportive hand on Ben's shoulder and Ben put one hand on top of Ciara's. Ben looked at Stefan hooked up to all these machines, only alive BECAUSE of these machines. "I can't believe this man, this can't be true." Ben closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard, "Not even a year ago, we were the biggest pariahs in this town. You were there for me man, and you gave me a chance when nobody else would. When… when I wanted to give up on myself and that I could be happy or deserved to be; that I could love and be loved, you didn't let me. You didn't let me go down the rabbit hole. You gave me a place to stay and I owe my life to you."

Ben looked up at Ciara for a moment and wrapped an arm around her back, "I wouldn't be where I am without you. I-I…" Ben chuckled slightly for a moment, "I always thought you would get to return the favor." Ciara cocked her head at Ben slightly confused and Ben cleared his throat, "Being my best man while I married the woman I love." Ciara smiled ever so slightly and moved her hand back and forth on Ben's shoulder. "I-I can't imagine you not being there. We wouldn't of had a chance or gotten back together if it wasn't for you. I was fully prepared to be alone and miserable for the rest of my life walking away from Ciara to protect her. But you helped me. You helped me see that I wasn't doing either of us any favors." Ben sniffed, "Stefan, I will NEVER forget all that you did for me. And I promise you, I will look out for Gabi, just like I know you would Ciara if the roles were reversed." Ben sighed heavily, "I will never ever forget you or everything you did for me, your friendship, giving me a chance, and supporting my relationship with Ciara and not letting me go to that dark place. Even…" Ben chuckled slightly through the tears that threatened to fall, "Even that time that you hit me with that folder. Told me I was being an idiot for letting Ciara get away." Ben tightened his grip on Ciara's back and felt Ciara snake her arm around his shoulder. "Saying that I was an idiot, I had a woman who wanted to be with me and stand by me through bad and good. You literally slapped some sense into me. I will never be able to thank you enough." All lightheartnedness was gone from Ben's face and replaced with devastation.

In a voice just barely below a whisper Ben said "Goodbye". Ben stood up and fell into Ciara's arms. Ciara snaked her arms up, wrapping her hands around Ben's shoulders. Ciara rested her head under Ben's chin and moved her hands to tightly hug Ben's waist. After a moment, Ciara pulled back slightly and rested her hands on Ben's cheeks, "I love you Ben." Ben smiled slightly, "I love you too." Ciara and Ben turned and saw Gabi walking back in. Gabi stood in front of the couple.

Ben cleared his throat and crossed his arms, "So… what are you planning on doing? A-are you going to donate Stefan's heart or take him off the machines?" Gabi's eyes turned red with anger, "So this IS about Julie!" Gabi pointed at the door, "Get out, jus-just get OUT!" Ciara took a step toward Gabi, "Gabi, that's not what Ben meant. I-I think Ben was just trying to see where your head is at. I told you that this visit wasn't about Julie and I meant it."

Ciara sighed heavily as she looked from Stefan to Gabi. As tears began to fill Ciara's eyes she looked Gabi in the eye, "Look, as..." Ciara cleared her throat, "As much as I want my grandmother to live, I won't hold it against you if you choose not to donate Stefan's heart." Gabi's anger softened ever so slightly as she looked at Ciara trying to judge if she was telling the truth. Ciara continued, "I know that after you killed Nick, Grandma Julie made your life nothing short of a living hell. And..." Ciara glanced at back at Ben for a moment. Tears filled Ciara's eyes, "If it was Ben who was brain dead…" Ciara let out a shaky sigh, "…and the person who needed his heart was someone who hated him, hated me and I didn't feel confident they would return the favor if the roles were reversed… I... I don't know what I would do." Ciara took a deep breath, "Whatever you decide, I won't hold it against you." Gabi's features softened slightly, "You wouldn't?" Ciara shook her head. Gabi sighed, "I don't know what I was expecting you to say especially considering you're a Horton."

Gabi chuckled bitterly, "No one not even my own 'loved ones' have thought about what this is like for me, what I'M going through. How I am never going to see Stefan again. I am never going to feel his hands holding me, smiling at me, throwing me onto the bed." Gabi's face turned hard, "Because of Lani." Gabi's anger quickly turned back to sadness as she bursted into sobs and Ciara wrapped her arms around Gabi. Ciara glanced back at Ben as she tried to soothe Gabi. Ciara noticed tears brimmed Ben's eyes as he pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. Gabi's shaking sobs subsided and Ciara pulled away slightly and wiped a few of Gabi's tears.

Ciara held Gabi's shoulders in her hands, "Whatever you choose, whatever you decide, Ben and I have your back." Gabi peered over to Ben who nodded slightly. Ben walked over to Gabi. "Ciara's right, Gabi." Ben chuckled slightly, "Pariahs in this town gotta stick together." Ciara rolled her eyes slightly and the corner of Gabi's mouth curled up ever so slightly, "I— I'm just trying to think of what Stefan would do, what HE would want." Gabi blew out a breath, "Everyone in his town minus you two have treated Stefan like he is nothing, me too but this is about Stefan. And now? Now everyone wants to act like he's a totaled car and want to strip him for PARTS!"

Gabi let out a shaky sigh trying to regain her composure. Gabi ran a hand through her hair, "Could... could you guys give me some time alone with my husband? I—I need to think." Ciara nodded slightly, "Of course." Ciara gently put a hand on Gabi's shoulder, "We're here if you need us."

Gabi nodded and Ben let out a heavy sigh, "Gabi, I know you and I don't have the best history and haven't always seen eye-to-eye but I promised Stefan that I would look out for you and I have every intention of keeping my word." Gabi inhaled sharply and walked over to Stefan. Gabi looked back at the couple for a moment and Ciara and Ben walked out of the room without another word.

As soon as Ciara and Ben were in the gatehouse, Ciara pushed Ben against the door and captured his lips in a rough and passionate kiss. Ciara giggled as a smile spread across her lips as Ben lifted her up and carried her to their bed.

Ben gently laid Ciara down and crawled on top of her. As Ciara and Ben tongues fought for dominance, Ben reached over to the nightstand and pulled the drawer open. Ciara inched her arm up just enough and shut the drawer. Ben pulled up slightly and looked at Ciara in confusion, "Do you not want to?"

Ciara smirked and shook her head, "Oh no, I do. I just thought we'd rawhide it tonight." Ben looked at Ciara in confusion, "Are you saying...?" Ciara bit her lip and nodded.

Ben sat up on the bed and Ciara followed suit. Ben swallowed hard and placed his hands on top of Ciara's in her lap, "Are you sure?" Ciara pressed her lips together and nodded, "Yeah, I am. Ben, Stefan's death has taught me one thing: there are no guarantees in life. Tomorrow isn't promised. And I love you and I know that you are the person that I want to father any children I may have." Ciara's face fell slightly, "Un—unless you're not there or don't want that with me."

Ciara stood up and walked over to the couch resting her hands on her back. Ciara turned to face Ben, "Af—after what you said in the pub a few months ago, I just thought that..." Ciara shook her head and forced a smile to her lips, "Nevermind."

Ben slowly got up and walked over to Ciara. Ben put his hands in Ciara's and looked right into her eyes, "That... couldn't be any further from the truth." Ciara looked up to face Ben, "No?" Ben shook his head and smiled, "No." Ben bit his lip and sighed, "Ciara, I love you and I've known that I've wanted you to mother any children I could have for a long time now. When... when I said that in the pub and you didn't say anything, I thought that you weren't ready for that. And I didn't want to push it. You weren't ready for that step. Which I was fine with, I was fine with waiting until you were ready."

Ciara smiled, "Ben, seeing you with David and all of the love that you have for that little boy shows me what kind of father you would be." Ciara bit her lip and spoke lowly, "And if I'm being honest... that's really hot." Ben chuckled lightly, "Yeah?" Ciara laughed lightly and nodded her head, "Yeah."

Ben closed to gap between them and hoisted Ciara up. Ciara yelped out and tightly wrapped her arms around Ben's neck. Ben smirked at Ciara, "Now, where were we?" Ciara returned Ben's smirked look and gave him an eyebrow raise, "I believe we were just about to give David a little cousin." Ben's smirk grew, "Ah, of course."

Ciara giggled as Ben playfully threw her onto the bed.

THE END