This feeling, these descriptions of a moment he could have sworn he'd dreamed of, they stopped him in his tracks. He approached the loading dock with some hesitance, staying just outside the open door with his eyes trained on the walls before him, inviting him in with the thought of seeing Albedo face to face. Wasn't this something he had wanted? Something both him and Jr. wanted to do, to feel the link between them and their missing brother? Nigredo -no, Gaignun- finally made his decision. It was one he decided on twofold, confirming that he truly wanted this. It could very well be a trap; Nigredo knew Albedo had wanted to kill him before, and Gaignun was uncertain if it was because of U-DO or because Albedo knew all about him.
Exiting his ship, Gaignun looked around with caution, his eyes taking in everything before him. It was so different than he expected. But then, what did he expect? Some demented form of artistic expression spattered on the walls? Maybe corpses decorating the corridors? Gaignun took a breath and slowly began to move himself forward, wary of any surprises along the way. He could sense his brother's presence, but he could also feel the death of consciousness, something not quite human but not entirely android either. His mind went to the blue haired Realians he'd see on ships, MOMO briefly crossing his mind as well. The thought made him more solemn than usual.
The strange memories Albedo had shared with him were the furthest things on his mind. He cared more about the feelings he had, the death, the hurt, the sweet stench of madness. He arrived before a door that lead him into a dark room, his brother's presence practically overtaking his mind, something strong and defiant that made him ache in a way that was foreign to him.
"Nigredo," Albedo's voice was patronizing, as if Gaignun's very existence was nothing more than a nuisance to him. "How good of you to seek me out so quickly. How horrible I feel looking at you. Did you feel special when I touched your mind almost immediately? Did you think that I wanted you, the eyes of someone else, to find me? Did you like that pathetic vision?" Albedo's line of questioning left Gaignun with little time to answer. He remained just as unaffected as before; his face did not shift into sorrow or embarrassment. He knew that there were things he could keep to himself, like that which Albedo had spoken of, and this was no exception. It felt like a moment of weakness, standing there and looking up at the twin he sought after, being spoken to like a hopeful idiot, desiring the very thing that stood before him.
"Albedo," Gaignun started with a hint of his own quiet attitude, his words slow and easy, as if he were speaking to a fool in white. "I did not think you would respond. I felt this was a trap from the very beginning and I still came here. I guess that makes me a fool, does it not?" His panicked reactions from before he had even considered Albedo's request were gone, replaced by the cold tone Gaignun held out for. He did not want Albedo to see the weakness within him. "I had hope that you would have become... tamer, I suppose. I was wrong to make such an assumption. Now," Gaignun strode closer to Albedo, standing at the bottom of the staircase. "What is it you really want from me?" The question felt more like a statement, a demand. Something that made Albedo's expression fall into momentary irritation.
"You're so boring, Nigredo. You've always been. No time to play, Just getting to the point." Albedo's smile slowly began to return as if against his own volition. "It makes me want to hurt you. A lot of things do, I've always wanted to watch the life drain from your beady little eyes." An exaggeration of Gaignun's features, sure, but the disgust was there. "Maybe this became more extreme thanks to the gift Rubedo plagued me with. Ah, the precious little master. Forever frozen in time, forever, eternal. Not like you. You were the bastard assigned to betray us. You fight it now, don't you? You want to keep Rubedo safe, don't you?" His voice raises an octave, his chilling laughter making Gaignun wince. "But you can't... you can never. Your existence should end now, but you have some unfortunate use for now. And Rubedo can't lose both of his brothers now can he? Even now he still clings to your same idea; to save your crazed brother. But I don't need saving."
Albedo's monologue made Gaignun's heart seize up in his chest, incurred something painful in his chest, twisting through his stomach. "That's enough," he spoke, staring Albedo directly in his familiar yet foreign eyes. "I didn't come to discuss myself. I know what I am. I know how I feel. I do not need to have it spoon-fed to me verbally, by a man setting up his own dangerous plans. What is your goal, Albedo?" The question was part of the information he desperately needed, something to make his travel worth it. "What are you after? You're making dangerous connections with those who consider us enemies. You're just using them for your own gain. So what is that?"
"We did come to discuss you, little monster." Albedo had ignored everything else that had come out of his mouth, as if saving it for later. Or to never speak of it at all. Gaignun could tell Albedo had another motive for their meeting, but he was starting to regret wanting to know. "We came to discuss what you put into my head!" Albedo's soft laugh returned, though his eyes held nothing but disgust. "I've been plagued with that dream, those images ever since that day. When you came to help poor sniveling Albedo, satisfying some desire you forbade yourself from expressing. But the link was still open when you fell asleep. It was a short time, but enough time." Albedo's voice now dropped, his smile leaving his lips. "That memory you saw, that's what you imprinted onto me, my last memory of you before I became engulfed with this power." He raised his hand, an eerie red light emanating from it. Albedo watched in wonder, as if still baffled by his own gift and his own curse.
Gaignun could not speak. He was too far in disbelief to process what Albedo was saying. The genuine look in Albedo's eyes had confirmed it; it was as if U-DO himself dissipated, the sane expression Albedo had a fragment of who he used to be. He could not believe it, would not, yet he could feel somewhere in his mind, his 'soul', his very being that this was most definitely the truth. "I... don't understand why you're telling me this," Gaignun began slowly, his gaze faltering, a crack in his neutral expression. "Why did you-"
"I wanted to rip my eyes out." Albedo slowly descended from the top of the steps, deliberately stepping over something Gaignun could not quite see. "Do you know how horrible I felt when I looked at you? You were just a depraved pawn, something that started having its own feelings, thoughts that should have been extinguished." He stopped a few steps away from Gaignun, who could not bring himself to look at Albedo for more than a handful of seconds. This was no weakness he would have ever registered before, something from his past he was forced to relive despite it never happening in the first place. "But then, I thought to myself, how pitiful for him to want me. The weakling. Someone who was supposed to be stronger than him. The one who couldn't die. And then, I thought to myself, why would I ever even think about you in such a way? Would I do it to hurt you? I think I would, I would. I would!" The sound of his continued onslaught of words began to slowly sink into madness, Gaignun could feel it. "After all, you were built to harm us. Why would I ever need you? Why, Nigredo? Why? What could you hope to gain, you wouldn't have made it if you stayed with me. I would have killed you. I wanted to, I wanted your head mounted on that rifle of yours.
"I decided you and Rubedo weren't worth chasing. Wouldn't it be so convenient for him to choose you? After Nigredo risked his useless life for Rubedo? We both needed him, didn't we little brother?" Albedo's question was met with silence, which made him take a step forward, Gaignun glued to the ground on which he stood. "DIDN'T WE?" Albedo shouted, falling into a fit of laughter. "So then, then I thought, oh how poetic would it be that the dependent ones should find each other? To comfort each other, despite your directive and my hatred for you? Oh, oh Nigredo, you pathetic little slave. You honestly thought I would tell you? Well, well, well... maybe I will. Your voice seems to be caught in your throat! Speak, you dog. Tell me what you want." Albedo took the second step forward, his gaze boring into Gaignun's conflicted face. "What is it you crave right now, you fool?" His voice dropped again, this time in sound. The whisper was eerie, Gaignun's inner turmoil practically palpable. "If you don't speak, I guess I should... guess." He hissed out the last word, slowly beginning to circle Gaignun, making a show of pondering the reason for Gaignun's appearance.
"You have information I need," Gaignun began, his voice surprisingly steady. "And you answered the rest. You told me the reason for that... vision. You've explained quite enough. I'm surprised, Albedo. I never thought you'd be putting this much effort into trying to humiliate me. I'm too aware of my... obsessions, if you will. I do my best to ignore them, but it gets hard when your immature older brother can't sleep too long without me. He probably just wants you, but not... He wants you to come back. To be saved. There is no god in existence that can save you, Albedo. I've begun to accept the fact. If you're going to keep antagonizing me then I simply request to take my leave. It's a tragedy that I did that to you, sticking my thoughts onto you was cruel." His voice begins to shift into a less confident sound. "There's nothing in the world I would rather do than extract that from you. Maybe one day you'll kill me for your own reason, not for what I've done to you." His voice truly sounds apologetic, and he finds himself looking at Albedo slowly, seeing the gleeful look in his eyes.
"What is it, Nigredo?" Again it seemed Gaignun's words were ignored. "What is it you want from me really? Is it just to see me? To speak to me? Oh, I know-" Albedo's arm shot out suddenly, making Gaignun instinctively move back. The white-haired U.R.T.V. slowly brings his hand towards Gaignun's neck, the closeness making the younger's heart beat faster despite the malice he was expecting from Albedo's outstretched hand. The moment Albedo made contact with Gaignun's throat was the moment his soft laughter returned, the sound bitter. "You want touch, don't you? We all share that trait, the desperate need to touch, to feel concrete proof of comfort." His hand circled around Gaignun's neck for a moment before moving towards his face. Gaignun could no longer move, his mind blank as Albedo approached. He could smell that terrible scent of death, suffering at the hands of that which touched his face, Albedo holding him like some prize, something to enjoy. "You can't even move. What's the matter? You scared?" Albedo grinned yet the expression failed to meet his intense gaze.
"I find it troublesome that you think to manipulate me." Gaignun finally returned to himself after basking in the amazing feeling of Albedo's stained hands on him. "What do you want from me?" His voice was quiet, met with Albedo's giddy response.
"Don't you still want to join me? You can do as you're told, you can betray the Red Dragon, you can fulfill your pathetic little desires. Wouldn't you like that?" He began laughing, releasing Gaignun's face and turning around, his arms thrown into the air. "Don't you want to be my dog, Nigredo? Don't you want to report to me?"
Gaignun watched the other with an intense longing trapped inside him. "I've already got someone barking orders at me. I don't need another voice telling me what to do."
"Mmm, you're lying to yourself!" Albedo did not even turn to acknowledge him. "You know you want this. But you'll leave, all the same. You'll go back and you'll dream about it, you'll think of it every waking moment! Because you cannot help yourself, you obsessed swine, you are hopelessly attached to the idea of me that made you want this in the first place." He turned suddenly then, daring Gaignun to lie to him, to tell him that he wanted nothing to do with Albedo.
"Do not presume to know me anymore Albedo. I'm far different than the boy who stuck those images in your head. I won't be easily swayed by the rantings of a lunatic."
"You don't believe that," Albedo spat, squinting at him. "We both know that." He waited for a long moment before speaking again. "I need you Nigredo, I need you to help me." Albedo's gaze seemed to soften, emulating the scared look he remembered so vividly. "Won't you? I can't do it without you." He even attempted to keep his sickness at bay, yet he could feel himself beginning to smile again as he approached Gaignun once more. "What do you say? Will you help me?" His voice was tantalizingly sweet, something Gaignun could barely fend off. He found it difficult to stay focused as Albedo stood before him once again, this time his hand glowing as it reached toward Gaignun's face once more. Gaignun's lips parted, his breathing stuttered. It was unlike him, to feel fear and overpowering love at the same time.
"I... I can't-"
"You won't." Disappointment in Albedo's voice made Gaignun's chest ache again. It was just like before.
"I thought no one could help you," Gaignun whispered. "You said it. So why is it so different now?" He fought hard to keep himself from surrendering and leaning into Albedo's touch. He felt tired, mentally. He wanted to succumb to this, despite the hatred that rang true just moments before.
"What a keen memory you have, you bastard." Albedo snorted, gripping Gaignun's chin and pulling him closer. "Give me my answer. Will you or won't you?"
Gaignun couldn't help himself; his eyes could barely stay open, closing as if part of some defense mechanism. His breathing became shallow to just the slightest degree. He tried to convince himself that he didn't want the closeness, and that he wanted to be freed of these thoughts that shamed him. Yet the words that tumbled from his lips made Albedo's grin look crazed, gleeful. He brought his face closer to whisper against Gaignun's ear.
"What a good dog you are."
Gaignun's return to the ship was a thoughtless one; his mind drifting further and further away from thoughts of Albedo, save for the limited information his brother had given him. Albedo was well aware of Gaignun's next move the moment he boarded the Durandal again. He predicted Gaignun conveying his information in a cryptic enough way to hide the truth behind the source of his information. He would be questioned, of course, Rubedo twice as anxious as the others to know where exactly Gaignun had gotten his information. Gaignun would not waver, however. He was good at what he was made for, after all.