My Secret Muse

by Calten

Michiru’s hard work has paid of with the publication of her first graphic novel. Now that she is officially a mangka, her new muse unexpectedly comes in the form of a tall blonde. How close can Michiru get before she’s too close and what will Haruka do when she sees her drawing?

11. If She’s Not Beside Me

(A/N) I do not own Sailor Moon

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Standing outside of the condo door, she hesitated momentarily before she knocked. Is this really a good idea... to watch the race with Seiya? Releasing a sigh as the door in front of her not volunteering a reason to leave, she alerted the occupants to her presence. Before she could lower her hand, a jovial Seiya flung open the door. Her eyes moving over his casual state before following him into the condo. Pausing in the entryway to remove her shoes, not sure what exactly to expect. She had not spent much time with the raven haired man, and never really thought to ask who else would be there. Moving past the entryway, she offered the package of beverages that she brought in gratitude for the invitation.

Closing the icebox door and offering Michiru a drink, Seiya lead her to the living area where a very large TV was mounted in between two sofas. He made some basic introductions to a taller brown haired man and a shorter white haired man that occupied a sofa each. She felt bad that she did not really catch their names, but at that moment Haruka was on the screen providing an interview. As the blonde disappeared from the screen, her eyes glanced around the room almost suddenly realizing where she was.

"The pit commander radio is over here," Seiya offered, bringing her back to focus on the those in the room with her. She caught the smirk on his face, taking a seat in the chair near the radio. Noticing the other occupants seemed to be nonchalant about her presence, she decided to relax herself. She was watching the race overview on the screen, recalling her last visit to the track. The excitement buzzing in the crowd and the busyness of the teams in the pits. Suddenly the radio cracked to life beside her, hearing the well known husky voice dancing over the airwaves. "That allows us to listen to what the team commander is saying to the racer, as well as details of what the team is doing," Seiya offered, nodding to the radio and obviously catching her amusement with being able to hear the racers stoic voice with the hint of teasing edge towards her teammates. She now understood slightly better why Seiya invited her, not so much to watch the race, but to practically hear the racers's thoughts as she navigated the track.

On the screen, the interviews had ended and the cars made their way to the starting positions. Over the radio, the commander could be clearly heard calling out numbers to each of the three drivers for the RedWing team. "He's giving them turn numbers, so they know which turn they should align themselves to overtake the car in front of each of them," he informed as his eyes never left the screen. "It seems like he doesn't want Haruka to try to pass Kojima for at least two laps." Turning back to the artist as a set of colorful curses came across the radio.

"Haruka seems to not be pleased with that plan," she giggled as a single deep "Damaru" silenced the blonde. "I am amazed with how clear they are on the radio. The noise was so intense at the track even when the cars were idling."

"There is a transmitter that helps limit the amount of noise. It's important to hear the spotter clearly..." Seiya started to explain, but her mind was quickly processing the voices that came across the radio as she watched the movements start on the screen. As the cars took off, the camera seemed to keep focused on the top cars, while Michiru kept her eyes on the red car with the wings on the roof. She watched the first few laps on the screen, the racer making her way to the top five cars before the commander pulled her in for fuel. Her attention turned back to the radio, listening to the directions called out and the blonde's short answers. She's so focused, so determined, her mind solely fixated with one objective.

"Fuck! Kojima is getting close!" Her eyes snapped to the raven haired man at his outburst. Seiya was still curing at the screen as she watched both the red car and the black car drop back a few positions. "I swear he's doing that on purpose.." he continued to growl as she drifted her attention back to the radio almost mimicking the curses spewed by Seiya. Giggling to herself with the observation that the racer and the assistant shared more than just their flair for sarcasm.

The other two men in the room were now standing with Seiya as they focused on the screen. The two cars moving their way back towards the front of the cars, dancing along each other the whole way. Her attention turned back to the radio and the quick instructions that were transmitted.

27...turn 3 and 6 with 30 degree incline. 07... turn 2 far right. 33... turn 11 after 27 with 45 degree. 27...throttle. 07...outside for 21. 27...pace for 6. 33... inside to block. Oi!...watch him. Shit!

"Holy Shit!" Echoed in the room, and she turned her attention back to the screen to see a red car and a black car with smoke pouring from them, and few more stopped on the track facing the wrong direction. Fear flowed through her veins at that point as a scream left her lips. Seiya ran over to her position where she had collapsed back into the chair.

"I am sure she's alright. Wings has reflexes likes no ones business. They'll say it's OK soon..." he tried to calm the artist as the slew of panic and curses could be heard on the radio. She held her breath and listened, hoping one of the voices she'd recognize. She gripped Seiya's shirt more tightly the longer she went without hearing the one thing she was waiting for, until she was pulling so hard she was choking him with the collar. Her hands relaxed as Seiya took her wrists to release her hold from him, rubbing her arm in attempt to get her to catch her breath. Pleading ocean eyes met midnight blues in asking. His concern is evident as well, "Com'on, Michiru. I can make a call and if we leave now we can make it to the hospital in a little over an hour. You'll see then that Wings has... well wings quick enough to get her out of anything." With that, he pulled her from her seat, grabbed a coat from the back of a door and made their way out of the condo wordlessly nodding to the two men remaining in the room.

(A/N) Damaru means roughly 'Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up' and the numbers called out by the spotter on the radio include the car number (Haruka is always 27) the turn in which they should make the pass and relevant information (such as incline of the road or the banked turn). This is used more in drifting than in formula one racing, but I liked the excitement.

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True to his word, Seiya drove almost as expertly as the racer himself, making a few calls along the way to confirm where those injured in the crash would have likely been taken. The best hospital was just on the outskirts of the city, which was a quick trip by helicopter from the track, but would provide the best treatment for the drivers. They parked quickly with Seiya practically running inside to determine where the racer would be. Michiru caught his mistake quickly, by actually asking the nurses at the check in desk. She had watched enough medical dramas to know they would not tell him shit if he wasn't a family member. While Seiya continued to yell at the nurses, she hung back along the edge of the room until she heard two orderlies talking.

"Did you see the burns on the racer? Man, he may not walk anymore like that."

"Well, they will keep him in a coma in the ICU. I am just worried when the fans start to arrive. They are putting up the security measures now..."

Michiru quietly but quickly walked towards the evaluator, and as she waited for the doors to open she glanced at the directory to confirm the floor that the ICU was on. Stepping in the car and selecting her floor, no one said a thing to her. The stone look set on her face conveyed that she knew where she was going ensure that no one would stop her. She made her way down the hall, listening to the murmurs of the workers enabling her to guess where the racer was laying. Stopping outside the ICU window she finally dropped the cold visage, leaning her head against the window as a tear began to fall.

Just as the orderly indicated, it did not look good. She could barely make out any details of the figure sleeping in the bed. It didn't matter to her what the figure looked like since her mind was flooded with thoughts of the blonde that she wouldn't be able to comprehend anything more at that point.

"Haruka... you promised..." she whispered as a tear began to roll down her cheek.

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Releasing a heavy breath as she exited the makeshift conference room, she paused in the hallway to get her bearings. Once she was bandaged up, she got word that the hospital was getting a number of inquiries about her teammate Fuminori's condition. Quickly deciding to do damage control, she had a press conference set up in one of the meeting rooms of the hospital to get the narrative of what happened straight. A block maneuver that went wrong when another driver attempted to make the gap. Several cars were effected by the error and those teams will release the status of their members as they see fit. As for Fuminori, he is resting and ask that he is given time with his family. The race association will investigate, and she couldn't speculate on any of the details. With that, she had quickly exited the room before anyone could ask additional questions. She returned to the floor where Fuminori's room was to wait for the arrival of his girlfriend. When she saw a smaller woman standing near the room's window, she felt a pang of guilt that she was not here at arrival. As she slowly approached as not to disturb the distraught woman, she was caught off guard as the color of the hair and the unmistakable scent of the ocean invaded her senses. Her mind searching all the possible scenarios for why the artist was at the hospital, the urge to comfort her overcame everything else.

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"Oi... Michiru...". Welcoming husky voice muttered beside her. She spun around, her eyes wide with surprise and then relief as she clung to the racer.

"Haruka... oh thank Kami you're not burned to a crisp... the orderlies said the racer wouldn't walk..." she sputtered out barely coherently for the blonde to follow. The racer wrapped her arms around the artist, holding her close and cooing softly to her in attempt to calm her.

"What are you doing here? How did you get here?" The racer questioned allowed, not really towards anyone specific.

"We were watching... and then the smoke...and Seiya..." The racer just pulling her closer as she decided no more explanation was needed. Although she knew deep inside she should be elated at the closeness between the two as Haruka tried to calm her, but her emotions were in overdrive with the anxiety of the whole trip there. Surprisingly, not a single soul interrupted the two standing just outside of the hospital room.

Once her tears had calmed enough, Haruka led her to a comfort room so she could arrange herself before they attempted to leave the hospital. Inside the small room, she leaned on the counter staring at her somber reflection in the mirror. Her head was throbbing, and she realized at that moment all the sounds around her seemed to be out of tune. Using the washcloth to pat the redness from here eyes, erasing the blatant evidence of her tears only a short while ago. Tears that fell at the thought of the blonde being taken from her. Taking a deep breath, as she washed her hands to signify her exit, she had only one goal.

Exiting the room, she found the blonde waiting in the hallway just as she was placing her phone back in her pocket. "It's late and there is a storm coming soon. I will take you to my hotel and Seiya will meet us there. There is a circus starting out front so we may have to leave out a side door... when you're ready," reaching her hand for the artist. They made their way down the corridor to the elevator. As they waited for the elevator car, the racer removed her racing jacket and draped it over her shoulders. "The sun has gone down, I don't want you to be cold," she smiled as she raised the collar of the jacket. As they rode the elevator down, Michiru noticed for the first time the handful of bandages on the racer's right arm. Searching the racer's form in an attempt to determine if she was hurt. Before she could get out a word to the racer, the elevator doors opened. Haruka placed a shoulder gently around her and moved her quickly down the corridor .

"Tenoh! Tenoh! Any update on Fuminori's condition?" A shout came from the side of the room as the racer's pace quickened. More shouting followed, Michiru lowered her head confused on what was going on. Haruka seemed to shield her from the source of the noise as they exited the hospital and entered a waiting car. The short ride back to the hotel was spent in silence, Michiru just wrapping the jacket tighter around her and inhaling the scent of the racer. Without question, she followed the blonde through the lobby, up the elevator, and to her hotel door. Swiping the key card, she opened the door and allowed the artist to enter.

"Once I realized that Seiya brought you, I had him meet us back here as the best place to regroup." Leading the artist to the empty sofa to take a seat, as she moved around to the kitchenette to start some tea. Sinking into the sofa still wrapped in the jacket, she felt her body relax slightly.

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As she stood in the kitchen letting the kettle warm, she watched the shrunken form of the artist on the sofa. The whistle of the kettle brought her focus back to the task at hand. She poured two cups and carried them to the sitting area handing one to the artist. Ocean eyes looked up at her in thanks as she accepted the cup. Taking a seat across from her, taking a sip from her cup thinking of what to say to the artist.

"I am sorry to impose..." she started, but the blonde quickly took her hand, silencing her thought.

"You are not imposing. I am lucky to have such a good friend who would come all this way to ensure that I am alright."

"But you're hurt," the artist observed as she used the blonde's hand to turn her arm and examining the bandages that adorned the back side of her arm. Looking back at the teal eyes, the concern clear in her own, "how bad is it?"

Haruka released a sigh, mostly into her cup as she glanced away. "Only a scratch, they just wouldn't let me be until I bandaged it. I was only there because I arrived with my teammate." Attempting a deflect from her injuries, but the ocean blue eyes letting her know that she wouldn't get away with it.

"When I saw the smoke from the cars, I was scared... I have found that it hurts to not knowing if you're alright. It's like auto pilot took over until I could see for myself." Michiru seeming murmuring to the floor as neither woman was really looking at each other. "I am still not convinced that you are not hurt," the subtle teasing tone in her voice as she lightly traced her fingertips over the racer's bandages on her arm.

"It's really nothing to worry about," she gently reassured as she moved towards the same sofa as the artist. Siting down, she slowly unwrapped the bandage around her arm. In an attempt to calm the artist, she revealed the irritated skin on her arm. She did not pay much attention to the artist as the focused on her arm. "As soon as I saw the flames, I guess I was able to remove myself from my car quickly. I was standing outside when the emergency team arrived. I could only focus on getting the other drivers out of their cars, so I sprinted to the car closest and pulled Kojima out. When I got to Fuminori's car, it exploded," pausing to look at her arm yet again. Closing her eyes, disappointment flowing through her veins that she wasn't able to help her teammate. Frustration that she had to show the artist that she was faulty and unable to help him.

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Raising her eyes, the racer watched assiduously as delicate hands carefully took the injured arm, meticulously touching only the non-irritated skin as she assessed the severity. "Well, you did more than most other people could," she softly cooed to the confused looking blonde next to her. Receiving an honest smile from the blonde for her efforts, the warmth returned to her for the first time since the blonde's departure. She knew that moment she did not want to let it go. Wrapping her arms around the blonde as carefully as she could as not to injure her further, holding her close. She felt the her tense slightly before relaxing into the embrace, guessing she was just as nervous as she was. Looking up once again into the bright teal eyes, entranced that they were brighter than she previously recalled. Tilting her head up towards the inviting lips of the racer, she met them with the tentative light brush of her own. Soft lips returned the touch and soon were moving in orchestra with her own. Encouraged, she wrapped her arms tighter to deepen the kiss.

"Ow! Shit!" The blonde hissed against her lips and Michiru jumped back abruptly. Surprise quickly turned to concern, as she realized that she found another injury on the blonde. Her eyes went to the floor, both in shame that she wasn't cautious of the racer's injuries and disappointment that she didn't disclose how bad they were.

"Gomen, I didn't mean to react like that," releasing a heavy breath. "I was just...surprised that's all." The sheepish response didn't help her mood at all as she still didn't meet the blonde's eyes. A determination came over her startlingly as she rose from her seat. A set of teal eyes watched her carefully as she moved to the kitchenette. She moved swiftly with purpose as she filled a basin with warm water, retrieving a sponge from the supply cabinet as well as a few other items, she returned to the sofa where the vexed looking blonde remained.

Gently taking the injured arm she examined earlier, she gently cleaned the skin with the damp sponge. "If you refused to let them tend to you at the hospital as you claim, then it is surly needs to be cleaned and properly dressed." She looked challengingly at the blonde, who only smirked at the artist's infallible logic. Smiling at the job she did on the arm, she glanced up at the racer once more. "Are the any other's that you are hiding?" The racer looked away as she nodded her head. A tinge of red came to cheeks, causing Michiru to raise an eye brow. "Well, let me see them," she calmly demanded.

Hesitating for a few moments, looking as if she was going to say something, the racer silently shifted in her position. With her back to the artist, Michiru was unsure of what the blonde was up to until the shirt started to drape off her shoulders. She watched as more red skin was exposed, concentrated on the right side of her back. She helped the blonde to carefully remove the button down shirt, leaving the racer's exposed back save for the bandeau she wore. Rewetting the cloth, she gently focused on cleaning the irritated skin. A comfortable silence remained between them with the occasional soft hiss from the racer followed by the gentle cooing of the artist as she diligently worked on the wounds.

"Haruka, you need to take your pants off..." she flatly demanded.

"Nani?" Squealed the blonde, causing the artist to giggle at the sound she didn't think the racer to be capable.

"The burn obviously continues below the waistband, and its not good to have the fabric rub on it. I wish for you to heal quickly to return to the brash racer director best friend of mine. Quit being a baby," she chided, as the racer stared at the requested clothing.

"Could you at least turn around?" She pleaded as she waved her good hand in a spinning motion.

"I didn't know the fearless Haruka Tenoh was so easily embarrassed," giggling as she stood as well to turn her back to the racer.

"I didn't remember ordering a glass of your sarcasm..." the racer mocked before she paused. "...I'm ready... but remember I tried to decline any unnecessary foolishness." Michiru turned and found the blonde in sitting on the sofa dressed in only bandeau and boxers, allowing her side to faced Michiru. She looked at the marks which were luckily focused on her back, and the small part that extended down to just above the boxers.

"You're lucky that it didn't extend any lower," she teased as she gently dabbed the racer's skin just above her hip bone.

"That's why I have fireproof underwear!" The racer smirked back.

"Ara, wouldn't it be smarter to have the whole racing suit made of the same material?"

"It's a fire suit..."the blonde added with a sigh. "I was too close... I just was able to turn as the explosion happened..." Her tone much more somber this time around. "...If only I was quicker..." she whispered more to herself as Michiru finished her task. Reaching for the bandage, she silently taped up the more tender looking areas to protect them. Luckily there were few of those, most of it did not blister, so the suit did its job, she though in relief.

Once she finished, she stood and carried the bowl of water back to the kitchenette as the racer silently slipped her shirt back onto her shoulders. Rinsing the items, she overheard a notification alert from the racer's phone and a growl escape the blonde.

"Everything ok?" She called out as she walked back into the sitting area.

"Seiya just sent a note..." grumbling still staring at her phone. "He got tied up with dealing with the press at the hospital. He likely won't be able to head back home until much later tonight." She looked up at the artist apologetically for a moment before she looked down at her phone again. "I told him not to get involved... I can arrange for a car to take you home, I am sorry you got caught up in this..."

"I can just stay here..." Michiru blurted out of nowhere. Teal eyes raised and looked at her hesitantly. "I mean if it is alright with you... I don't wish to impose... but in case you need anything with your injuries..." she continued to mumble as the blonde raised a skeptical eyebrow before shrugging.

"If that is what the mermaid wishes... I will let Seiya know you're content here for the evening so he doesn't worry," she smiled as she appeared to type a reply. Standing from the sofa, she started walking toward the separate room. "Come, let get you ready for bed so you can relax from such an eventful day," leading the smaller woman into the room. She opened the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. "These may be a little large, but they should do," smiling as she handed them to the artist. "You can have the bed here and I will take the sofa..." she continued as she pulled a blanket out of the wardrobe.

"You shouldn't have to sleep on a sofa. Your injured after all," taking the racer's bandaged arm in concern.

"If the mermaid prefers, she can have a bath through there," the artist giggled slightly at her attempts at deflection. "I will be out there if you need anything," tucking the blanket under her good arm as she turned towards the door. "I need to rest my injuries," she smirked back as she headed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

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Michiru silently changed into the offered clothing, smiling as she took in the faint scent that could only be described as Haruka on the otherwise clean clothes. She hesitated for a moment, as she wanted to return to the blonde. A desire to be near her, to talk to her more. But the racer was right, it was a long day for them all and they needed their rest. She was walking around in her underwear without realizing it for crying out loud, she smiled in remembrance as she relaxed back into the bed. As her head rested on the pillow, and thoughts of the blonde danced through her head her eyes became heavy with the sleep she didn't realize was waiting to overtake her.

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"What am I going to do with you, mermaid?" She asked to no one particular as she made her way towards the sofa. She relaxed on the soft back of the sofa, resting her eyes in attempt to suppress the frustrations from the day. Part of her wondered if this was all an illusion of her brain. That she was hurt in the accident and this was her brain's way of coping with the pain. Shrugging off that thought, as she wouldn't want to wake up if that was the case. Instead she focused on the mermaid who insisted on taking care of her. How she gently care for her wounds. Her face turning red as she realized that she was still in her boxers and unbuttoned shirt. A sudden sound of thunder roared through the room from the approaching storm broke her thoughts. Nestling herself under the blanket, she relaxed some to allow sleep to come to her tired body. She'll face her problems tomorrow as long as the mermaid is by her side.

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Feeling herself floating, she opened her eyes to take in her surroundings. She was floating in water amidst a sky filled with blues and greens. A calming sound of a waterfall could be heard in the distance, recognizing this place as one she had dreamed often. It was her sanctuary on Neptune, existing only in her mind. Sitting up as she expertly treaded water, looking around as she no longer felt as if she was alone. Strange for her normal dream, as she had always felt alone here. Calming solitary, but alone.

She moved her head in each ancillary direction, finding nothing along each horizon. A yellow glow caught her attention above her head, moving her eyes to find a familiar silhouette gliding above her head supported by a pair of large white wings. As she watched the figure above her, the calm was still there, but the isolated feeling was gone. Laying back into the water and relaxing under the watchful eye of the winged watcher above her, new feelings began to replace the constant loneliness. She felt loyalty to the watcher and could feel their unquestioned loyalty to her without a single word shared between them. She saw the winged being glide lower towards her, and she reached out her hand to touch them, feeling the soft breeze through her fingers as they passed overhead. She prepared herself as the watcher seemingly glided a little lower and Michiru would finally be able to see them. She focused on the approaching figure, but the skies turned dark behind them looking like a sudden and dangerous storm. She willed the watcher to reach her quickly, but her heart dropped as a loud thunderclap was heard and she lost sight of them.

Sitting up in the bed, she could hear the heavy rain of the storm over her heavy breathing. Taking a moment to determine where she was, she recounted the strange dream she had. She slowly scooted to the edge of the bed, placing her feet on the floor. Raising and slowly heading towards the door, determine to find where the blonde and more determined to make sure she was close to her.

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Feet pounding on the ground below her, lungs burning for air with each step as she ran as fast as she could towards her goal. What was at the end of this path, she was not certain but was determined to get there as fast as she could. Suddenly, something teal caught her eye from her side. She chanced a glance, trusting her feet to continue to carry her unabated. A teal haired mermaid breached from the water adjacent to her path, seemingly keeping pace with her and moving along with her. She smiled to have a companion on this journey to an unknown destination, her pace quickening with the thought of someone alongside. The breeze picked up around her, and she suddenly realized she was floating up in the air, as if she was flying. Elated for a moment, as she could reach her destination faster, she glanced back to her side only to realize the mermaid was gone. She had left the water behind and the mermaid could not follow. Glancing down, she was met with ocean blue eyes of the mermaid looking longingly to her, extending a hand towards her. She tried to adjust her path, to turn around for the mermaid, but the wind forced her along. She turned her whole body into the headwind, swinging her arms in feeble attempts to get the hold on her released. She did not want to continue on this path if it meant leaving he mermaid behind, so she fought with all she had. Suddenly, the wind seemed to give up on her and give her what she desired, dropping her body from the sky. Her mind panicked, trying to think of a way out but she could only close her eyes before she hit the ground.

Sitting up on the sofa, startled by the thunder outside she took a few steps to calm her breath. Glancing around, she placed her head in her hands as she reminisced her strange dream.

A sound near the bedroom door caught her attention, and she quickly glanced in that direction. There stood the teal haired artist, timid and unsure in the doorway. "Michiru, are you ok?" She murmured, the concern evident.

"I had a strange dream... and the storm surprised me... I wanted to make sure you were alright and afraid of the storm," her eye watching the floor. Haruka stood, softly walking to the artist. Her mind circling back to her dream, that her path was not as important if she had to leave the mermaid behind.

"So you came to make sure I was not afraid of the storm?" she coyly asked the artist, who just looked at her concerned. "Do you want to lay out here until you are ready to go back to sleep?" Nodding towards the sofa with her suggestion. Michiru looked at the sofa questionably, but took a few steps towards it regardless. She sat on the sofa and watched curiously as the blonde picked up the blanket at the end of the sofa. Placing the blanket over her shoulder almost as if it was cape as she knelt on the edge of the sofa. Looking at the artist askingly, she leaned over the smaller woman taking her in a soft embrace as the blanket covered both of them.

"You're not suggesting to sleep out here..." Michiru said with a giggle.

"Well if you're not comfortable and want me to move..." the blonde teased. She was silenced when the artist simply pulled her head down to rest on her shoulder. Resting into the small woman below her until the rhythmic sounds of breath lulled her to sleep.