Emerie raised an eyebrow when Gwyn stepped into their temporary training ring at the River House, Azriel close behind her. Gwyn ignored her, making a beeline for the windows and threw them open, more to avoid having to answer questions than for the cooling breeze, but they'd want them open later anyway. Emerie took the hint and didn't pester her as they fell into their familiar rhythm, Gwyn's attention faltering just for a moment when Cassian and Azriel cleared a space and dropped into their fighting stances. Emerie snickered beside her, and Gwyn's cheeks flamed,
"Good for you, Gwyn," she whispered,
"No, Em, it's not like you think," Emerie raised an eyebrow, "It's not!" Gwyn insisted,
"Uh-huh,"
"Em, we didn't do anything!" She snapped her mouth shut when Nesta raised an eyebrow from across the room, and glared at Emerie, Your fault, she mouthed, and resolved to kick her ass when her friend just snorted with laughter and winked. Despite herself, Gwyn couldn't halt the laugh that escaped her at Emerie's knowing look towards Azriel, but she clamped down on the sound when Azriel raised an eyebrow at her, losing his concentration for just a moment, but it was long enough for Cassian's fist to connect with his jaw, sending him reeling. Gwyn snorted again,
"Better luck next time," she shouted as she made her way to the weapons rack, "If we start steady, that'll help my balance," she started as Nesta met her there,
"Do you need me to go easy?"
"No, just don't go all out to start off with, let me get into it first, it's the wings, I'm not a hundred percent used to them, so give me a minute, that's all,"
"Okay," Nesta slowly circled to her left, then her right, her feet never crossing in front of each other, her balance perfect, movements smooth and unhurried, sword pointing to the ground. Gwyn internally bristled at the implied insult, she wasn't so off balance that Nesta didn't need to guard!
"Your weight's all on your left leg," it wasn't, but when Nesta glanced to look, Gwyn lunged forwards, hammering a series of blows that Nesta only just managed to block, losing precious seconds raising her sword. Each blow forced her to concede another step, but she narrowed her eyes, matching Gwyn's blows each time, and stepped sideways, forcing Gwyn to halt her assault or risk falling.
"Low blow, Gwyn,"
"What can I say, it work-" before she'd finished speaking, Gwyn struck again, knocking Nesta's sword to the side before striking at her exposed side, but hissed in annoyance when Nesta drew the dagger at her hip, deflecting Gwyn's sword and launched her own attack, putting Gwyn on the defensive again. She hissed in annoyance again at the sound of coins clinking together, she didn't need to look to know that Cassian and Azriel were watching, betting on them, Emerie too. She gritted her teeth, feinting left and striking right, sending Nesta's sword flying, a flap of her wings boosting her speed as she pinned her holding the wrist of the hand still clutching the dagger against the floor. Nesta harrumphed in annoyance, but conceded defeat, albeit only after she'd ascertained that there was no way to escape Gwyn's hold without hurting her.
Gwyn tossed her head back, flicking the stray hairs that had escaped her braid out of her eyes, her cheeks rising into a soft smile at Cassian's scowl as he dropped a few coins into Azriel's waiting palm. Azriel shot her a triumphant glare, and then the bastard winked, sending her blood roaring in her ears, the moment of distraction plenty for Nesta to surge upwards, throwing Gwyn off her to the side. Azriel's eyes twinkled with amusement, We're even, his grin seemed to say, and Gwyn flipped him off, earning a short bark of laughter as he turned to offer Emerie a few words of advice where she was sparring with Cassian.
"Not bad," Nesta held out a hand, and Gwyn took it, if only to attempt to tug her down, and failing, but Nesta grunted with the effort of maintaining her balance,
"Any luck with the healers' courses?" Nesta's face lit up,
"Yes, almost half the Illyrian females have taken up the lessons, the others have children or other obligations they can't leave, but it's more than enough, and, Elain came to find me the other day, she said you'd spoken to her, she wants to join the training. I haven't seen her so alive in ages, so thank you."
"I just told her what she needed to hear,"
"Still, it's brilliant, Elain has a steady supply of herbs, new varieties, better ones as well, so Madja can really teach properly, obviously injuries is different, but she has ways of getting around the lack of actual injuries to practice on, Rhys or Feyre can do it by glamour, or she can make a sort of dummy, but it's going really well," Nesta was practically bouncing on her toes as she spoke,
"And the combat training?" Nesta nodded,
"It's going well, we're focusing on hand to hand combat like Cass said, which I can actually help teach, so it's moving faster than we'd anticipated with the numbers we have, I'm hopeful that they'll be ready when we need them, depending on how much we can slow down the rebel force." Of course, everything hinged on that, how much time they could gain, whether Feyre and Amren could find and learn a spell, whether the medic force could be ready, whether the Darkbringers could be ready to fight. It was a start, even with everything that could go wrong, likely would go wrong, it was a start. Gwyn matched Nesta's grin,
"Who will command them, you?"
"Cauldron no," Nesta snorted, "They'll be under Madja's command as healers, but it'll be up to Cass where they're sent during a battle, if he wants them out of the way, or if they're needed to collect casualties or as an auxiliary force." Nesta glanced back to Cassian, "We'll need to prove, really prove, that they're ready though, or he won't consider letting them anywhere near a battlefield, medics or not,"
"True, but you said it was going well,"
"It is, but it's Cass, you know what he's like, he won't risk them if he doesn't think they're one hundred percent ready,"
"We can't control that, all we can do now is get them as ready as possible before they're needed and hope it's enough. With me and Az back surely we can speed things up, there's not much training I'd be confident teaching, but I can do bits and pieces here and there to give Az a bit more time to teach at least." Nesta smirked and raised an eyebrow,
"About that-"
"Don't start, I already had this from Emerie, I love him and he loves me, that's all you need to know," Nesta hummed disbelievingly, but dropped the matter, after giving Gwyn one more smirk and nodding towards Azriel. Gwyn swore under her breath at the sight of his shirt discarded beside the ring, his shirtless form immaculate in the late morning sun. Nesta chuckled beside her,
"Right, nothing more," she teased, and darted sideways out of range of any retaliation, so Gwyn settled for just rolling her eyes. Perhaps there was something more, but she didn't want to voice it yet, last night was as far as she was willing to go for now, a start, it was a start, one she hadn't known she was waiting to take, waiting for him.
Azriel couldn't help the occasional glance back towards the training ring, as if he might see through the walls between and catch a glimpse of auburn hair, hear the quiet lilt of her laugh, the twinkle in her eyes when she smiled, the way her nose scrunched when she laughed-
"Az?"
"What?" Cassian let out a sharp bark of laughter,
"Attack teams,"
"Right, I knew that," Azriel shook his head to clear the image of Gwyn, holding it in his chest, right by his heart where she belonged, his shadows laughing at him as he focused on the list before him.
Gwyn.
Fuck off, I'm working.
Gwwwyyynn.
Azriel rolled his eyes, forcing himself to focus on each one of Cassian's words as he put forth their options,
"No, he'll drag his men into a skirmish that they won't win, he's too hotheaded," Azriel pursed his lips and suggested another name, but shook his head again, too inexperienced, no-one seemed right, they were all too young, or too impulsive, too inflexible, too indecisive. He resisted the urge to punch something, frustration shortening his temper, and glared at the list, willing someone to stand out, anyone, and then his gaze landed on a name. Cassian followed his gaze,
"Risky,"
"Do we have much choice?"
"He's young, but perhaps that's a good thing, he won't be constrained by his ideas about how things are done,"
"Exactly, and he's shown great promise, I know you've been keeping an eye on him,"
"I have. I'm not sure if he's ready though, if it goes wrong it'll destroy his confidence,"
"But if it goes right, it'll start his journey towards command," Azriel countered, "So long as you think his orders will be obeyed, he's our best option,"
"I'll give him the youngsters, the less prejudiced ones, they know and trust him at least," of course, because despite his talent, the young male was bastard-born, to one of the rebels no less, and he didn't have a High Lord's son to vouch for him, but Azriel hadn't seen talent like that for at least a century, and he was powerful, requiring three siphons, he nodded, this would be a good start for him up the chain of command. That made ten attack teams, all that was left was to wait for the rebel army to land, to sit and wait.
No number of reports from his spies, training sessions with the medics-in-training, sparring sessions with Cassian, not even walking with Gwyn, talking to her, none of it could drag his mind away from the insistence that he should be doing something. It didn't matter what he'd said to Gwyn, this was her first war, he'd done this more times than he cared to remember, and he'd always been able to provide better intelligence than a half-baked idea of possible landing sites. Everything was normal around him, Feyre trying keep spirits up, Mor keeping their people relaxed by being seen regularly at Rita's, even Cassian and Nesta were going out occasionally for that purpose. Still, something felt wrong, like he should be doing something, and perhaps Rhys had noticed because he's silently slipped into Azriel's office, silently until a cry split the air. Azriel's gaze shot up, but softened at the sight of his nephew,
"Rhys," he nodded in greeting, and Rhys just raised an eyebrow, "You got something for me to do?"
"Yeah actually, stop being a brooding prick, everyone's noticed, Gwyn asked me for help, she doesn't know how to snap you out of it, and believe me, she's tried just about everything." Azriel paused, and set his pen down,
"She said that?" He'd ruined it, just as he ruined everything,
"She didn't have to," was this it? Had she finally had enough? He wouldn't be surprised, everyone ran when they saw who he really was, but he had never felt like this before, he was used to it, but this time, this time it, it hurt, like a dagger had been plunged into his chest, drawing the tears he could never shed to his eyes, "Az, you didn't do anything wrong, she loves you, that's why she wants to help,"
"To help?"
"Of course, she wouldn't run now, she's not running now, you know she loves you," Azriel shrugged, some part of him, a shield of sorts melting as he whispered,
"That didn't matter before,"
"Then whatever it was before wasn't love, I'm not gonna pretend to know exactly who you mean or how she, or they, felt, but it was not what Gwyn feels for you, she feels for you as I do for Feyre, and as she does for me." That wasn't possible, but he appreciated the thought, Rhys and Feyre were mates, that kind of love was impossible if you weren't, but he couldn't help the relief flooding through him, then surprise at the realization that his hands were shaking,
"I'll talk to her, I don't mean to worry her,"
"She knows that, we all do, but you're right, you need something to do, something to take your mind off tomorrow," tomorrow, the day they'd chosen to break up the rebels' ambush, by walking into it. "Speaking of Feyre, she's tired, so am I, but it's worse for her, she needs a good night's rest, we'd like you and Gwyn to watch Nyx tonight if that's alright."
"You want me to babysit?" Why? That one word rang through his mind again and again, being around Nyx was one thing, playing with him, but he was in no way a good choice for a babysitter, Rhys couldn't be trusting him with a baby, his son,
"Yes, he loves you, and I know you've hardly had time to see him lately," that was true, and Azriel loved the boy, he really did, but he didn't know what to do with an infant, "Gwyn will help, all you have to do is look after him, follow Gwyn's lead, we've been over everything with her,"
"Okay," he smiled softly when Nyx reached out for a shadow that had ventured towards him, grabbing with both hands when it slipped away. He turned and fixed Azriel with those big blue eyes, and his heart melted. For the first time, when Rhys handed Nyx to Azriel, he didn't look for a way to give him back, he just smiled and let him grasp his finger with a whole hand, but he did look to Rhys in alarm when Nyx squealed, wriggling in Azriel's arms,
"He's excited, that's all," Rhys chuckled, then raised an eyebrow at his son, "You going be a good boy for Uncle Az and Auntie Gwyn?" Nyx gurgled, almost a confirmation, and Azriel chuckled to himself, partially at the baby, and partially at the sight of Rhys so happy, his future already in motion.
"Go and look after Feyre," Azriel murmured, not taking his eyes off the tiny, giggling, child in his arms, tiny wings flapping occasionally, at least until he carefully gathered them up to hold him more securely. Nyx crooned softly at the sound of his voice, so he kept talking as he walked back to his and Gwyn's room, he was still talking when he nudged the door open, coming face to face with Gwyn, worry lifting off her features immediately at the sight of him, his own stress having faded, the smile gracing his lips.
"Hi," she closed the door behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, scrunching her face up to make Nyx giggle. Azriel pressed a kiss to her head,
"Thank you," he whispered, "Rhys spoke to me, so, thank you,"
"I love you," that was her only response, the only explanation needed. She was still smiling when Azriel set Nyx down on a rug, his shadows darting around, playing without needing any direction, keeping the giggling child's attention as Gwyn produced two mugs of hot cocoa, "To family,"
"To family," Azriel echoed, grinning as she leaned into him to watch Nyx crawling slowly after a retreating shadow, at least until it vanished, Nyx sat back, looking around for the shadow, and then at Azriel, tears in his eyes, "Oh, Nyxie," he crooned, "Did the nasty shadow run away?" Nyx wailed in outrage, grabbing at the air as if he was hoping the shadow might reappear, Azriel glanced to Gwyn, but she just gestured towards Nyx. Figure it out, she seemed to be saying, so he would, it couldn't be that hard.
It was very hard. Rocking the child in his arms worked for a few moments, but then he was crying again, his diaper didn't need changing, and he didn't want the bottle. Azriel was running out of options when he started humming in desperation, then singing, he wasn't thinking about the words, just thinking that he needed to calm the crying baby,
Arrorró mi niño
Arrorró mi sol
Duérmase pedazo
De mi corazón
Cierre los ojitos
Ya se va a dormir
Que el pícaro sueño
No quiere venir.
He was so distracted that he didn't notice the door opening, only realizing that someone was there when Gwyn spoke, reassuring someone that they were fine. Azriel turned to find his mother standing by the door, tears shining in her eyes,
"Mom? What happened? Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?"
"Whoa, Azzy, slow down, I'm fine, you're singing your lullaby, that's all, it's nice to see you like this, both of you." Azriel could see the unspoken words, If you decide you want your own, you'll be a wonderful father, he'd never expected to have that choice, but he supposed that maybe he could now, yes, if Gwyn wanted it, just her, no-one else, but if she wanted that future, he would be only too glad to fight for it with her. He started singing again, aware of his mother's gaze as she asked Gwyn if they needed anything before bidding them both goodnight.
Azriel's mind didn't drift back to the war as it usually did before he fell asleep, it remained on the female already sleeping in his arms, her head resting on his chest, wings tucked inside his own, and on Nyx, having slept for a couple of hours already.
Still, Azriel could see why Feyre and Rhys were so tired when Nyx screamed at midnight, crying for a feed. Gwyn blinked her eyes open, but Azriel kissed her temple,
"I got it," he slipped out of bed, cradling Nyx in his arms as he fed, and Azriel thanked the Cauldron for the bottle, Mother knew what he would have done without it. But he hummed softly to lull the child back to sleep, perhaps holding him a little longer than was strictly necessary before returning to bed, his heart lighter than it had been in a long time. Recently it had been better, because of Gwyn, but his worry for her was part of it at the moment, Nyx was the reminder of what he had, what he had to focus on.
Still, morning came an awful lot quicker than usual with the frequent cries from across the room, even with Gwyn there to deal with Nyx half of the time, but surprisingly, Azriel felt more rested than he had these past few days, the sleep he'd gotten having been so much better than usual.
Feyre had smiled and laughed when Azriel had returned her son to her, but her joy had faded at the reminder of what today would entail, four of them, that was all they had, any more and it would be too suspicious, with Nesta and Emerie necessary for training the females, Rhys had volunteered to go, along with Cassian and Gwyn. Despite the risk to Feyre having vanished with the magic when Nyx was born, the Cauldron's power having severed their death-bargain, it would be the first time Rhys was in real danger since Nyx was born, and Feyre couldn't leave Nyx all day to be with him,
"I'll defend him with my life, Feyre, I promise," she nodded,
"I know you will, all of you, I just worry, I'll be fine once you're home, once I know he's safe again," Azriel didn't know what to say, how to reassure her, but Cassian saved him from having to,
"We'll watch out for him," he swore, and drew Feyre into a hug,
"Go on then, the sooner you leave, the sooner you get back," she was right, but Azriel still didn't want to leave her worrying, despite knowing that nothing would stop it, nothing short of their safe return. He glanced over his shoulder once, holding back tears at Feyre's words,
"Daddy's going be back soon, baby, I promise," he'd do anything to make sure she could keep that promise, to make sure that Nyx always had his father.