prompt: Person A gives a 'just because' give to Person B because whatever it is reminds them of Person B.
More Than Friends
Sometimes it hurt how much she fancied him. From the moment he arrived at Crawley Financial, Anna Smith could tell that John Bates was unlike any other man she had ever known and her opinion hadn't wavered in the three years since. She had no doubt about her feelings but absolutely no clue about his.
She knew he considered her a friend, so she had that much going for her at least. At one point, she was his only friend; the welcome he received on his first day at the office was lukewarm. Three other employees wanted his job and assumed there would be a promotion announced any day. Instead Robert Crawley hired from outside and there were hard feelings about it. To make matters worse, Thomas Barrow learned that John was an old friend of Mr. Crawley and started his usual scheming to get John fired . It was an uphill battle for John to fit in and develop a working rapport with most of the staff.
Except for Anna. She was on his side from the start. She fell harder each time he won over another colleague with his integrity and kindness. He had the sweetest voice, the nicest eyes… he was proud without being arrogant and generous without being a pushover. As a man, he was one of the good ones. And the good ones aren't like buses; there won't be another one around in ten minutes' time.
Still, for every wonderful attribute she could list for him, there was one less endearing quality she couldn't deny. He was a constant mystery. Oh, he dropped hints every once in a while. He revealed that he had a wife, though they were separated for years. Still, she had to suss out how miserable the situation had been since he refused to say a word against anyone, even the wretch of a woman that was chronically unfaithful and nasty. He trusted her enough to confide about his past battle with alcohol, but refused to discuss what landed him at rock bottom. For all his honor, he wouldn't talk about his past except to say he was trying to be a better man. Anna refused to accept that he was ever less than the wonderful man she knew now.
Working him out was becoming routine for Anna, and for the most part she didn't mind; everything about him was interesting and appealing. But when it came to knowing how he felt about her, she was at a complete loss. Some days he would laugh with her, smiling at her in a way that she was sure was meant only for her to see. The way he said her name, the way he listened to her like she was the only person in the room, the way he could walk or sit close to her and not realize she could barely catch her breath… it was a heady trip how he made her feel. But did he feel the same?
"Hey, take a break," John said as he suddenly entered their shared office, causing Anna to jump. She could feel the heat rising in her face, sure he could tell she was daydreaming about him again. "You seem quite engrossed with work today so I brought you lunch," he said, setting a paper sack on the corner of her desk. "I got you the usual and one of Patmore's lemon squares. Fresh out of the oven, so she said."
"Thanks," she said, offering him a flustered smile. "How much do I owe you for this?"
"My treat," he dismissed, dropping into his chair and taking a sip of his coffee.
Anna looked in the bag and could smell the cornish pasty, her favorite. He knew her so well, she thought, why couldn't he see how good they could be together?
"Aren't you eating?"
"I'm not very hungry," he explained. "But if you don't think you want the lemon square…"
"You could have just kept it for yourself. Here," she sighed with feigned annoyance. She pulled the treat out of the bag and leaned over to hand it to him. "Thank you for this, it's very thoughtful."
"My pleasure." John bit into the square and moaned, causing Anna to wonder if that pleasure was bringing her food or the lemon square. He gulped down the bite and held the pastry up in appreciation. "You know, the key to a good lemon square is the shortbread. My mother made the best, so buttery it would just melt in the mouth." Anna looked at him in wonder. Some days she could barely get two words out of him and here he was practically waxing poetic about shortbread.
"You're rather jolly today," she commented. "Is there a reason?"
"Am I?" He flashed her a curious smile and wiggled his eyebrows. But before Anna could pursue the matter, there was a knock on the door.
"Hello, Anna," Joe Molesley greeted as he stepped into the office. "I brought you that book we talked about." He held out a slim volume to her. Anna had no choice but to take it.
"Thank you, Mr. Molesley," she said politely. "How kind." She looked at the cover and then glanced at John. He continued to grin, almost as if something was amusing to him .
"Not at all," he shrugged with a nervous laugh, clearly pleased "I was, uh, wondering if, uh, we could get together and discuss it." Anna stared at him, her mouth dropping open to say something though she wasn't exactly sure what. "You know, when you've read it."
"Um, well, maybe we can get a few others and start a book club," she countered. She held up the book to John. "Have you read it?" He shook his head, popping the last bite of lemon square into his mouth.
"Oh, uh, yes," he replied, his facing falling slightly. "Or we could talk about it, just the two of us." He gave a shaky laugh. "You know, either way."
Anna set the book gently down and took a deep breath. "Well, I certainly look forward to reading it, but I am not sure when I'll find the time. I'm awfully busy with… things."
"Oh, that's fine," Molesley nodded rather vigorously. "When you get to it, just let me know. We'll discuss it. I mean, discuss when we can discuss it, or, you know, well, whatever." He gave John a short nod and after an uncomfortable moment of no one speaking, turned around and left. Anna exhaled and fell back in her chair.
"That was awkward," she mumbled, moving the book aside and reaching for her food.
"Mr Molesley is awfully keen," John observed. Anna scoffed at the very idea.
"Mr. Molesley is going to be disappointed," Anna intoned with agitation.
"You could do worse."
Anna froze and glared. "You can't be serious. Me and Mr Molesley? Like that would ever happen."
"Don't be unkind," John chided. "He's a very nice man and I'm sure he has a lot to offer a woman willing to give him a chance."
"I have no doubt," Anna snapped. She opened the bag, but then quickly shut it and tossed it aside. She suddenly lost her appetite.
"I'm just saying," he continued, saying each word slowly. "You don't have to marry him, but…"
"Oh, I don't? Thanks," Anna shot at him.
"Anna," he started.
"Why are you being like this?" She could hear her voice rising and shaking.
"I'm only teasing," he said helplessly and Anna shot him a disapproving look. "Isn't that what friends do?"
He said it, that terrible word that she had come to dread; friends. They were friends, only friends. Nothing more. It seemed that was all she would ever be to him. The truth of it made her want to hide in a hole and cry.
"Don't you want to meet someone?" He continued, adding to her feeling of hopelessness. "You deserve to be happy-"
"You clearly have no idea what will make me happy!" She snapped at him with such anguish in her voice that it caught John by surprise. She rubbed at her temples and took a deep breath. She could feel hot tears building. She couldn't look at him. "I'm not feeling very well so… I'm just going to take the rest of the day." She quickly shut down her computer, grabbed her phone and tote and stood to leave.
"I'm sorry if I said something to upset you."
"No, it's fine," she lied, pushing her chair into her desk a bit too forcefully. "I'm fine. It's fine."
"What about your lunch?"
"You eat it," she muttered angrily as she made a quick escape.
It was late afternoon when Anna sat in her pajamas eating ice cream straight from the container. She had cried most of the way home but now she was simply resigned. If she didn't know how John felt about her before today, she had no doubt now; she was just a friend. He encouraged her to find someone to love, someone that he clearly didn't want to be him.
It would serve him right if she did find someone else, someone who didn't hide his emotions behind a veil of mystery. It would serve him right if she went out and found a better man.
Of course, the problem is that there wasn't one. If she dated a million men, she would never find someone she loved more than John Bates.
She shoved a large scoop of ice cream in her mouth before she started crying again. She reached for the tv remote hoping to find something to watch that wouldl not make her think about romance or heartache.
"A baking show, perfect!" She tossed the remote aside and filled her spoon with ice cream again.
Good afternoon and welcome to the show! Today we are going to be showing you how to make one of my favorite spring time treats, something with a bit of zesty tartness and creamy sweetness… that's right, we are making lemon squares. Now the secret to a good lemon square is the shortbread…
"You've got to be kidding me," she scowled at the television, ice cream dripping off the spoon held in mid-air. She felt sick again. She turned off the tv when suddenly there was a knock at the door. She dropped her head back and closed her eyes. She could tell it was John. "God, I even know what his knock sounds like."
"Anna? Please open the door," he pleaded from outside her flat. She shoved the spoon back into the container and tossed it all on a table as she shuffled her way to the door. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, reached for the door handle and took a deep breath. She only held the door halfway open to make sure he knew she wasn't particularly interested in company.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"I wanted to check and see that you are ok," he said. "May I come in?" Anna seemed to consider it for a couple seconds before backing up and opening the door wider as an invitation. John read her mood, though, and hesitated before finally entering. He repeated his reason for stopping by. "I wanted to see if you were feeling better and… well, apologize for teasing you like that. I didn't mean anything by it. I had no idea it would upset you."
"Thank you but it's not necessary," she said with an edge in her voice. "Anyway, I'm fine." She looked up and met his gaze. He was watching her with such tenderness and concern that she was struggling to remember why she was annoyed with him. "Truly. I'm fine."
"That's good," he replied. "I thought you might want something to eat since you never had lunch so… this is for you. A couple more pasties and another lemon square. And you don't have to share." Anna gave a small chuckle as she took the bag when he produced something else from behind his back.
"What's this?"
"Just some flowers," he shrugged. He held them out and she slowly accepted the small clutch of forget-me-nots. She looked at the flowers and then at him. He was doing it again, making a gesture that was enough to make her wonder if he considered her more than a friend yet not enough for her to know for sure. It was maddening. "They made me think of you."
"Th-they did?"
"Blue," he continued. "Like your eyes."
Anna froze. "I don't understand."
"Well, it's just…," John stammered and ran his hand through his hair. "Sorry, it seemed romantic when I saw them."
"Romantic?" Anna started to breathe faster. Finally she looked up at John and the two were caught in each other's gaze. Suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she began to weep.
"Oh, Anna, you don't have to cry," John soothed, smiling as he reached a hand toward her. He pulled her into his arms and held her gently. "There now, there's no need for tears."
"Y-yes, th-there is," she stuttered between sobs. "I don't know what it means. I don't know what any of this means!"
"What?"
"You brought me my favorite lunch today because I was too busy to get it for myself and it was so sweet of you to do that and I think that you might be the one person in this world that knows me better than anyone else! But then you… YOU!" She suddenly became angry, pushing him away. "You tell me I should go out with Mr. Molesley… MOLESLEY, John! You tell me to find someone and be happy and it is painfully clear that you don't realize the one thing that would make me happy and I've been a fool hoping against hope!"
"N-no, Anna, wait-"
"Now you come here, bring me flowers because you were thinking about my eyes and I'm confused all over again!"
"Please, let me explain-"
"I love you, John," she blurted out. "There. I've said it. I know it's not ladylike to say it, but I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be." John stared back at her with a pained look on his face. Neither seemed to know what to say. Finally Anna broke the silence between them. "I know you think of me as a friend, maybe only as a friend. And I always will be, no matter what. But from the moment I met you, you ruined all other men for me, so I need to know… please, just tell me where I stand. Please."
John stood frozen, his eyes set on her and his face unreadable. Anna frowned, her lower lip starting to shake. She couldn't look at him anymore.
"What you just said," he began softly. "You have no idea what it means to me to hear it. It feels so good to hear you say it."
"But," she sniffed. "But you only consider me a friend."
"I do consider you a friend, my dearest friend. And I would be fooling myself and lying to you if I said that is all I want," he explained. "Because I love you, Anna. A lot more than I've let on. But I had no right to ask for your heart, not when I wasn't free to give you mine."
"But you see, I disagree," Anna interjected.
"I know you do," he nodded. "But I always thought you deserved someone who could give you everything without reservation."
"Is that why you pushed Mr. Molesley at me?" He could hear the hurt in her voice and it cut deep.
"That was stupid and I don't know why I did it," he admitted. "I will probably always think you deserve someone better than me. Still," he paused. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "I have one more thing to show you." He opened it and looked at it, almost as if he couldn't believe what he held in his hand. He turned it to show her, holding it out for her to read it if she wanted. "It's about my divorce. It took some doing, but I did it. I am finally free. That's why I was in such a good mood today." He took a deep breath. "Anna, I know I screwed up today, what I said about your happiness was cruel and thoughtless. I want to be the one that makes you happy."
Anna finally allowed herself to smile. She reached for the paper and looked at it again. "Why? After all this time, why did you look for her?"
"For you," he sighed, reaching for her hand. "For us. If you can find it in your big beautiful heart to forgive me, I would like there to be an us."
Anna sniffed and looked at the paper again. "You really upset me today, John," she began slowly. "In fact, I'd give you smack if I didn't want to kiss you so much I could burst." Her face broke into a smile, and they both laughed. But then the air around them changed, and they moved closer. John reached for her, his fingers sinking into her hair and lifting her head towards his. Anna felt herself start to melt into his gentle gaze and then into his arms. He brought her face closer and covered her lips with his own. His kiss was everything she dreamed it would be. Moments later when she kissed him back, there was a sound from the back of his throat, a half growl and half moan that sent a shiver straight to her toes.
"I'm so happy," she sighed as he kissed her cheek, her eyelids, her forehead before pulling her back into his arms. So happy to finally be more than friends.