Post-Finale. Sorry. Teddy deserved a better storyline than that. If y'all know me at all, I only watch this show because of Teddy and I'm very disappointed that this season was cut short because Teddy needed to process and explain her actions and articulate her feelings. But now she's getting so much hate :( BUT ALSO I felt so bad for Owen even though he's also been a cheater in the past. BUT THIS IS TEDDY AND OWEN. Guys, come on, why ruin Teddy's character. uuuugh.
ANYWAYS I can't wait to see what they do but I need give my bb girl her redemption in the meantime.
He doesn't want to go home. He doesn't want to see her. He doesn't want to see anyone. Being humiliated like that makes him want to to disappear. To leave. To runaway.
But he's been on the other side of this. And it felt just as awful. And he at least needs to understand why. He wants to know. He deserves to know.
So he stands at his front door of their home. Their home with their kids. Their beautiful kids. Because maybe this isn't the end. Because maybe it's something they can push through.
He walks in, after standing outside for a while. There were flowers everywhere. There were food, barely touched. It was dark and quiet. Except for the glow of the tv in the living room. He walks over to turn it off and he notices Teddy sitting on the floor hugging her legs with a glass of scotch in hand, staring off, clearly distraught.
"Why are you up?" He asks, not trying to to sound angry or upset. Just trying to stay calm and even.
She doesn't respond. She doesn't blink. She doesn't move.
"Teddy?"
She finally blinks at looks at him. "Oh. Hey."
"I'm going to bed" he says. It's late and he doesn't want to start anything. "I'm gonna say goodnight to the kids"
"Okay.." she says weakly. Her voice cracking, raspy. "You're not going to yell at me?"
"I don't know what to say to you."
He can't look at her but when he glances she just nods and puts her forehead on her knees and lets out a sob.
It breaks his heart to see her like that, but he's hurting too. And he doesn't want to say the wrong things. It's not just about the two of them. They have to think about their kids. Their family.
He lies in their bed and stares at the ceiling. He was finally happy. But things are just too good. Just the night before he was writing his vows, and he thought it was going to be difficult but he knew exactly what he wanted to say. He didn't have to think twice. This is Teddy. His best friend. His first call. His person.
He gets up to check on her and she hasn't moved an inch. He pours himself a glass and sits on the floor across from her.
"How long?" He asks "how long has this been going on?"
She lifts her head and stares at him. Her eyes red and swollen. Her hair, a mess.
"It only happened three times. Started during the blizzard. Third was tonight." She says somberly
"Why?"
"I don't know. He made me feel... loved and safe." She said "at least that night, when it first happened"
"I don't make you feel loved and safe?"
It hurts him to watch her cry again. But he's trying to be calm and she's clearly not in the right mind to fight him. She probably has had too much to drink, but she speaks clearly and honestly. She doesn't stutter. She doesn't dance around her words.
They've had screaming matches before and sometimes he feels more comfortable with those because when Teddy gets quiet and dark, it is really quiet and it is really dark, and he doesn't know how to detonate that silent bomb because he rarely sees it.
She's always been the one who fixes people and no one had ever noticed or learned how to fix her.
He's known Teddy for many years, and this is isn't Teddy. He doesn't know this side of her. He's seen it maybe once or twice when she's triggered, and he gave her space and then she's back. But this, Teddy the floor in a corner in their living room? This isn't Teddy. The dark, brooding Teddy. The Teddy who has already halfway through a bottle. The Teddy whose voice gets low and quiet and steady the more she drinks.
"You do. That night was rough. I found out that Amelia's baby could have been yours and I got scared. And I couldn't breathe and I couldn't shake the thought. And it was snowing. And I ran outside to take deep breaths and he followed me. And he listened to me and he talked to me" she blinks the tears away. "He made me laugh."
"He made you laugh. You throw away our relationship because he made you laugh."
"Maybe. And maybe because I felt seen. And there are no ex wives running in the same circle. No... baggage. It felt easy"
He stares at her. Unsure of what to say.
"But you? You drive me crazy. I'm in love with you. You are my person. You are the love of my life. You're the father of our children. But I'm always scared. It feels so good and I'm always just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And you are a good man. And you are kind. And I'm broken. And I know you love me, but you were in love with Cristina too. And Amelia and Beth and — and I had a moment of weakness and I got scared that you would leave me for Amelia or— So i self-sabotaged, because that's what I do. Because there's something really wrong with me. And I don't know why I can't let myself just be happy."
"Do you love him?"
"I do, but not like how I love you. He is flawed and he puts on this facade and pretends he's an asshole and he makes his dark jokes and he irritates everyone but he's sad and lonely and...loving. And he makes me feel like I'm the only person he's ever loved, although I know that's not true. And he's my only friend here and I feel so fucking lonely most of the time. And I ... i don't have an excuse and I did what I did and I hate that I did it.
"Do you want to be with him?"
"No."
He notices that he answers quickly.
"Teddy-"
"I'm really sorry, Owen."
"What does this mean for us?"
"Owen, I'm still in love with you."
"Are you? Because I haven't heard that from you in a while."
"I am. I know that I love and I want to be with you and I regret complicating things and I'm sorry. Everything is so messy and my mind is messy. And I fucked it all up."
He is hurt. But so is she. And he's scared that she's going to walk away, not to be with Tom, but because of her guilt. He doesn't know what this means or how to go from this.
But there's Allison. They have a family. And this isn't easy. And Teddy Altman is the love of his life. And he's exhausted.
"How did you find out?"
He lets out a scoff and pulls out his phone and plays the voicemail.
He lets it play and leaves it on the floor in front of her.
He stands up and finishes his drink.
"Get some sleep, Teddy."
He takes the bottle from her leaving her broken on the floor listening to her mistake, holding herself. Her moans filling the room, and she doesn't move and she lets him go to their room.
He doesn't know when he fell asleep. It was more of a nap. But he wakes up and the sun is shining bright. And Teddy's side of the bed is untouched.
He gets up and hears Leo giggling and Allison cooing. It's such a nice sound to wake up to to soothe whatever he's feeling. It dulls the pain a little. There was too much fear and fear of the unknown crashing into him in one day, but he can't just runaway now. There are children involved.
He find them in the kitchen with Teddy. Leo in his high chair, Allison on Teddy's hip. Teddy, bright and shiny, entertaining them. A complete mask she put on for them but her eyes are swollen and tired. They don't notice him but he observes her. How did it go on for long and he didn't notice. True, she's been more quiet in the past couple of weeks, but he never would have imagined she's been sleeping with Tom Koracick. She was even more quiet when she came back from the conference in LA, now she's wondering if he had something to do with that too. But here she is in their kitchen, like nothing happened.
"Mama!" Leo shrieks with a laugh when Teddy tickles him
"Did you just call me mama?" She asks the toddler excitedly. Owen watches Teddy hold Leo's sweet little face and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Oh baby. That makes me really happy."
"Ma.." Allison babbles, imitating her big brother. Teddy looks at her in shock and kisses her head.
They were interrupted by Owen's phone ringing on the kitchen counter. He observes Teddy staring at it from afar. And just looking away from it and finally noticing him standing on the foyer.
"Oh. Hey." She says quietly. "I made coffee and I can make eggs if you're hungry. I just made Leo some oatmeal if you want that? I can make that too or—"
He walks over to her phone to check it.
"Are you being paged? Because I thought you were off today and I was hoping we could talk—"
"It was Amelia. She had the baby."
"Oh. Oh—wow, congrats." She stutters. "So eggs? Or-"
"I'm good" He says, a little cold but he really can't look at her, because the image of her holding their baby kills him. He pours himself some coffee and leans on the kitchen counter.
"Owen—"
"It really hurts, Teddy."
"I'm really sorry. I... I understand if you want to kick me out and I can get a hotel or —"
"No. No. We'll... figure it out. I just can't wrap my mind around it. Maybe I can stay at my mom's for—"
"No please. No." Her eyes glisten with tears again and he wants to hold her but he can't bring himself to go near her.
"Teddy—"
"Owen. I messed up and I know you're not going to forgive me. But that was it. Whatever it was with Tom, that's over. I ended things with him. That's that."
"I'm not going to not forgive you. It will take time but I'm willing to work on this, but I don't know how if I can trust you around him."
"I'm not—I don't want that. I can put those feeling aside. I can bury that. But you, Owen, I can't lose you."
"You're not going to, but you have to let me process this and grieve this because it's not going to be the same."
"I know. I'll do anything. I'll stay away from Tom. I'll find a different job. I'll—"
"Will you go to therapy?" He used to hate therapy but he feels like it helped him with his PTSD and he knows Teddy has been good at hiding hers.
"Yes."
"And I know you feel like Tom is your only friend here but I would appreciate it if—"
"Yeah. Strictly professional."
He watches her hold Allison closer. He can't help it. He walks to her and holds her. "Teddy this was the last thing I expected from you"
"I'm so sorry" he feels her relax against him and he feels her tears on his shoulder. "Please tell me we'll get through this"
He doesn't answer because he doesn't know. But this is Teddy. He's hurt her in the past more than he could even imagine.
He'll fight for her too. Just as hard as Tom had been fighting. And he will win. Because it's Teddy. They're Teddy and Owen.