Yuck. Dirty socks did not smell good. But they were a tribe, and everyone had to contribute. Katara dropped them into the soapy bucket, and kneaded them around in the sparkling glacier water… Not really sparkly any more, it had gotten dark and murky from all the dirty laundry. Katara dumped it into a dirty pile of snow, and went to the fire to get some clean water. It seemed a waste to use their driftwood supply for something as frivolous as clean clothes, but oh well… Somehow, Sokka had convinced the Chief that cleanliness should be a priority.
Katara checked her furs, was she filling her bucket the right way? Yes, yes she'd done this a hundred times. She was fine. Perfectly fine. Nobody was staring at her. She was just filling her bucket with clean water. It was normal. Everyone did it.
"I don't believe you Sikuaq! You're just making things up again," said Qeorvik, the tallest, prettiest girl that Katara knew. She was really nice, and probably the coolest person in the whole entire tribe!
"I'm telling ya, if ya smoke the salmon-trout for a few hours it'll taste way better!" Said Sikuaq confidently. Sikuaq was okay… She was fine, not mean or a bully or anything, but Katara didn't really understand why she got to be Qeorvik's best friend.
"I don't know." Qeorvik shook her head. "Stewed salmon-trout is good. Everyone likes it. Why change a good thing?"
Katara nodded. A smoker would be too wasteful. And what about the marination? Sikuaq clearly hadn't considered the marination! Salmon-trout was wonderful, she didn't want it's flavor overwhelmed by smoke and cedar.
"Everything is always the same here. It's sooo boring," Sikuaq sighed. "Okay fine." She grinned evilly. "Would you rather-"
"I am not playing this game with you again," Qeorvik said.
'I want to play,' Katara almost said. But that would be weird. Neither of the girls had even noticed her, and it was rude to eavesdrop. She went about filling her bucket silently, listening in on the girls gossip with each other. Apparently old woman Taktuq was like, really smelly, and like totally didn't even realize it, and the young hunter Anana had like, a total six-pack, and was probably really good at-
"What are you two doing?" Asked Hahn. The young man shuffled his way through the snowbank, up to the fire. He was a self important know-it-all who thought that just because he'd become a hunter he was the greatest thing since sliced seal jerky. "Leave it to a couple uh' girls to start gossiping as soon as they get the chance. Get back in the kitchen! Me and the rest of the men are hungry!"
Qeorvik giggled. "Relax, we were just taking a little-"
"This is the problem with this backwards little settlement," Hahn said, sighing pompously. "You lot haven't learned your place. You bitches always gotta say something-"
"Shut up Hahn," said Katara. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, and somewhere in the back of her mind a little voice was screaming at her to stop. That she should be silent and proper like Qeorvik, but she always had to listen to that voice drone on and on about how she should behave. Just this once she'd ignore it and do what was natural. Wiping that stupid smirk off Hahn's dumb face. "You're always going on and on about the great Northern Water Tribe. How spectacular it is. How big it is. How everyone acts the right way there. Didn't it get burned to the ground by the Fire Nation?"
Hahn took a step back. Katara took a step forward, and slammed a finger into his chest.
"It was our people who survived! You're the one who came begging our tribe to let you in. On your hands and knees. The Chief was nice enough to let you in, and all you've done is complain! You haven't done a thing Hahn, so maybe you should be treating Qeorvik with a little more respect. She's at least caught a fish before, so has Sikuaq, by the moon even I've caught a fish before and I'm just a kid! You haven't! Some man you are!"
Hahn looked at the girls for support. He found none. "I still don't understand it. The Chief should have sent you back to your real people a long time ago. Don't you get it Katara? Nobody wants you here."
Katara rolled her eyes. Hahn was a big dumb oaf, and his insults were always the same. She had gold eyes. She was a loud, annoying foreign brat. She should just go back to the Fire Nation already. Even if Katara did have some foreign blood in her, their tribe accepted anyone who wished to be a part of it. Half the people in it were from some part of the Earth Kingdom for moon's sake! Heck, Hahn was more of an outsider foreigner than Katara! The so-called Prince of the Northern Water Tribe didn't have a clever bone in his body.
"I'm right aren't I?" Hahn asked. "People just don't say it 'cuz her brother's the prince."
Didn't he understand what an ass he was? Katara had always done her part. Hahn was just a spoiled brat.
Sikuaq giggled. "Well, you're not wron-"
Qeorvik elbowed Sikuaq, "Katara is a member of this tribe no matter her eye color. The Chief said so. It isn't her fault her father is Fire Nation."
Katara grinned at Qeorvik. She knew that Qeorvik liked her. Respected her. But she just couldn't say anything because… Um… Someday, Katara was sure the two of them would be great friends.
"That's not what you said last time," Sikuaq laughed. "Me and Hahn are happy with exile. You were the one saying we should ki-"
Qeorkvik blushed. "Would you be quiet Sikuaq!"
What did that mean? What was Sikuaq talking about? What had Qeorvik said?
Qeorvik touched Katara's shoulders, and met her eyes. "Listen Katara. You know that's not how I feel right? I'd never say something like that."
Sikuaq snorted.
"Right," Katara said, filling up her bucket with boiled water. She only spilled a few times, the water scalding her skin. It hurt. The water hurt. "Sure."
Her bucket was filled. Her job was done. Pretended not to see Hahn's sneer.
"Don't tell your brother about this," Qeorvik called after her.
Katara left. Ran. Went back behind her little igloo to finish the laundry. Laundry was what was important. She grabbed one of the furs, and ripped it from the basket. Dunked it in the hot water, thrashed it about. Jerked it on a line to dry. There, she was working! Really, it didn't even bother her anymore. No, what upset her was that she still tried!
This wasn't helping anything. Getting all mad like this. Never had. Never would. She just had to finish her laundry. Not let herself get worked up. Just had to keep on task. Keep on task...
Who cared what those girls thought of her? It was like Gran-Gran always said, some people were just jerks. You couldn't do anything about it. Just had to live with it and move on. As long as you had your health, and enough food to support yourself, you could be happy. You could be happy.
Why wasn't she happy?
Katara threw a pair of socks against the igloo. She'd tried and she'd tried and she'd tried. Nothing ever worked, but if even just once, if even just once she cracked and exploded, no matter how good it would feel it would be the end. They'd never forgive her. She'd have proven everyone right. She'd be just another Fire Nation monster.
But… But what did it even matter? What was so great about being tolerated? Being treated like an outsider?
Open your eyes Katara.
She did. The igloo was still there, the world still spun, the universe didn't care about the life of one little girl.
She still had to clean the tribe's dirty laundry.
"Katara! Katara!" Sokka called. "Where are you?"
"I'm here!"
Sokka slid around the end of the igloo. "Hey Katara? What's wrong with your eyes?"
Her eyes?
"They're all wet. Have you been crying?"
"No."
"Good," Sokka said. "It's not manly. Now c'mon dude, I've found something incredible!"
At first Katara was annoyed. Why should she care about being manly? Didn't Sokka know she was in the middle of her chores? There was a limit to how inconsiderate someone could be. But as the two of them drifted farther and farther from the village, as they got lost together in the snow, Katara realized that Sokka hadn't gone to the Chief with whatever he'd found. He hadn't gone to Gran-Gran. He hadn't brought one of the hunters he looked up to, he hadn't brought a girl he liked. No. The one he wanted was Katara.
Right here, in this frozen tundra, with a sea of snow in all directions, she was accepted.
This was home.
The Fire Nation cruiser must've been anchored here for years. That was the only way the ship could be surrounded by such a thick layer of ice. It was as big as an iceberg, and made with the same smooth metal that the hunters used to tip their spears. Katara knew instinctively that this kind of thing was larger than the two of them. The kind of discovery which, whatever her dumb brother thought, needed to be shared with the rest of the tribe. The Chief would have a meeting with the elders, and together they would come to a well thought out decision over how to approach the cruiser. The ship needed to be treated with extreme caution.
Sokka shimmied his way through the snow, and banged on the side of the boat with his bone spear. "Hello? Anybody home?" Nothing happened. So the idiot kept whacking.
Katara grabbed the spear.
"What the heck Katara!" Sokka said. "Have you gotten sick with full moon madness?"
"No, but what if-"
"What if?" Sokka roared with laughter, and snatched back his spear. "Man has never been stopped by what if! All tribesmen have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge! We're not put out by silly things like what if this happens, or what if that happens, we jump into the water headfirst!"
Katara rolled her eyes. "You don't even know how to swim Sokka."
"That's because the water is too cold," Sokka said, in a tone that made Katara want to kick him. Just because she was a few years younger than him didn't mean she was stupid! She knew that those who fell in the sea were as good as dead.
"But you were saying-"
"Fine," Sokka said, holding his ear to the side of the cruiser. "Go back and tell Bato. He'll deliberate and deliberate and choose to do nothing. You know how the ole' man is: A total coward."
"You shouldn't say things like that about the Chief!" Katara said, mostly out of habit. If she, or anyone else talked like that about the Chief they'd be in big trouble, but Sokka got away with it, just like he got away with everything. It wasn't fair.
Why did she still care? The world wasn't fair. But couldn't Sokka feel at least a little ashamed about his special treatment?
"I think I've found an opening," Sokka said, running along the side of the ship. "Katara? You coming or not?"
Katara bit her lip. She always tried to be a good girl. A good member of the tribe. She wanted to prove everyone wrong. A good girl would turn back, and tell the Chief about the cruiser. But…
It's not like anybody would know that she followed Sokka, and she wanted to know what was inside. But was it really good enough to only act like a good person when she knew people were watching?
Fuck 'em.
Katara followed Sokka to the front of the ship. He smacked a strip of metal a couple uh times, until something cracked, and it fell forward, kicking up a flurry of snow.
Sokka peered inside, but it was too dark to see much. Katara inspected the fallen ship wall. It was flat, and not even that slanted. She could walk right up it, into the interior of the evil piece of Fire Nation technology. See whatever voodoo Fire Nation witchcraft was surely inside.
Maybe she'd find some Fire Nation soldiers inside. They'd overwhelm Sokka, but Katara would use one of his weapons to take them down. Then she'd return to the Water Tribe a hero and everything would be wonderful. Qeorvik would realize how cool she was, and everyone would finally see how hateful Hahn was. It could happen.
"You coming?" Katara asked, walking up the opening.
"Isn't it a little?" Sokka asked, squirming in his furs. "You know, dangerous? What if there are soldiers in there Katara?"
"Sokka?" Katara asked, raising an eyebrow. "You scared?"
"Of course not," Sokka huffed. He followed her into the ship, and lit a torch. He handed it to Katara, and took out his bone spear. "You lead."
But the ship was boring. There was nothing inside but halls and empty rooms.
"What do you think those are Katara?" Sokka asked, pointing at a bunch of long circular thing-a-ma-jigs that ran across the ceiling.
"Who cares?" Katara asked, rolling her eyes. "What does it even matter?"
"Follow them," Sokka said. "Let's see where it goes."
It didn't go anywhere. But the thing-a-ma-jigs did split into smaller and smaller circular thingys.
"They're like a river," Sokka said, knocking one of them open. It was hollow. "The little estuaries feed into something bigger. Most rivers dump off into a sea or a lake. So where's the sea? Katara give me the torch. I wanna see something."
Katara handed Sokka the torch. He handed her the spear. Together they trekked across the hallways, into the lower levels of the ship, and found something interesting. All the circular thing-a-ma-jigs were connected to big vats of… Something… There were a bunch of big machines in the room that were turned off. They must've done something, worked somehow, but this wasn't like a tribal crossbow, which Katara could somewhat understand. However these machines worked was a complete mystery.
Sokka shined his light on a shelf full of books, and picked one out.
"What's it say?" Katara asked.
"A Beginner's Guide to Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning," Sokka said, flipping through the pages. He sighed, and put the book down. "I don't understand any of this stuff."
Well that was surprising. Sokka was normally pretty good at things like that. He'd read all the Tribe's books on science, and seemed to know all kinds of stuff. He could even explain why it rained for moon's sake!
"Hey Sokka, what's that?" Katara asked pointing at a poster.
"What's it look like?" Sokka asked, picking up another book. "It's a Fire Nation army recruitment poster. It says that anyone who joins the military can become a hero. From a farmer to a woman, everyone is equal in the army. Seriously Katara, you need to learn to read."
"But Qeorvik says it's a waste of-"
"She's wrong," Sokka said, rolling his eyes. "Being illiterate just makes you dumb. If I were chief I'd make all the kids learn to read, whether they liked it or not."
Right, reading would be great. Everyone already treated her like an outsider. What would really help out with that would be learning the Fire Nation's secret language. That'd just make everything…
Katara stared at the poster. It showed a girl, about her age, even prettier than Qeorvik with a couple of almost perfectly symmetrical bangs, bending blue fire. The girl had the same golden eyes as Katara. Maybe…
The girl looked so happy, so confident with that little smirk of hers. Was she really that different? What if Katara left the tribe and fought in the war? What if Katara discovered she was one of those mythical benders? What if she became a legend like the Last Waterbender: Chief Hakoda? That'd wipe the smile off Hahn's face. Qeorvik would be the one begging to be her friend. Hmm, but she'd be a bigshot, and really, all of them would be ever so provincial.
Katara giggled. It was a nice fantasy, but really?
The Southern Water Tribe had submitted to the Fire Nation a long time ago. They stayed out of the war. Peace had led them to being the most prosperous tribe. Once the Northern Water Tribe had been the wealthy one. They'd fought and earned their freedom from the Fire Nation, but they'd paid for it dearly. Now the North was a shell of its former glory. Sokka's father, the late Chief Hakoda had fought and died so nobody in the Southern Water Tribe would have to enter the war.
A soldier? A bender? That wasn't her. She was a member of the Southern Water Tribe through and through. Only proud fools joined the fight against the Fire Nation.
"I'm going home," Katara announced.
"Sure," said Sokka, not looking up from his book. "Don't tell the ole' man about this place. Not until I get to read all of these."
Katara nodded. She wouldn't be coming back to the cruiser anytime soon. There was nothing for her here.
But she never did forget about the confident smirk of the girl on the poster. As if the entire world belonged to her.
Wouldn't it be great to be that strong?
What had just happened?
Sokka had popped out of nowhere, chucked a snowball at her, and she'd thrown a fireball at him, and he'd…
He'd...
Put it out with a… Splash of water?
"Katara," Sokka said. "Nobody can know. Do you understand?"
Katara stared at him blankly. This changed everything. Not only about her brother, but herself as well.
She was a bender! She was a frickin' bender, how cool was that? It was just… Just...
She wasn't the right kind. She wasn't one of the fabled waterbenders that the Chief sometimes told them about, not like Sokka's father, or the legendary Hama. No, she was… Like the evil monster General Iroh...
She was a firebender.
But maybe it wasn't so bad. After all, one of the tribe's saviors had been the legendary Phoenix King, and he'd been a firebender as well. Heck, he was the closest thing that the world had to an Avatar right now. She was sure that if she explained herself the Tribe would eventually accept it. And if they didn't... Well now she could just make them, couldn't she?
After all, it wasn't just Sokka anymore, she was special too. In fact, maybe she was the most special.
"I'll keep it a secret," Sokka said, glaring at her with those blue eyes, that everyone in the tribe shared. Everyone except Katara. "But only if you promise to stop bending. I know you think it's cool. I know you think it's fun. I know you think it makes you special. But if you keep doing this the Fire Nation will catch you. And then they will kill you. You have to stop. Promise that you'll stop."
Katara laughed. "Heck no."
Sokka shook her. "Katara?"
"Yeah?"
"You love Gran-Gran right?"
"Of course."
"If you keep bending they'll kill her too."
"But I-"
"No buts. Katara you're going to get everyone in the tribe killed. Gran-gran, the ole' man, even me." Sokka glared. "For some silly little magic."
"They don't have to know," Katara whispered. "I can train in secret Sokka."
"Look at me Katara!" Sokka ordered. And for the first time, Katara could understand why everyone in the Tribe called him prince. "You know my first memory?"
Katara shook her head, terrified.
"My father saying the exact same thing." Sokka's sneer was pure contempt. "'I can train in secret Kya.' Everyone acts like he was a hero, but it was his bending which brought the Fire Nation here in the first place. You wanna know why everyone here treats you like trash? It's because of him and his bending! I hate the fool!"
"Look at me Katara!" Sokka commanded. He softened. "You can do this. I know it's hard, but you can give up bending. You will. You have too. Now promise."
Katara shook. Bending. Or her brother and the tribe. She'd have to make a choice.
"I… I promise. I'll… It'll be our secret."
Sokka hugged her. "Our secret."
They'd never been closer.
But Katara felt hollow. Alone. And like more of an outsider than ever.
This should have been the best moment of your life.
Katara's joy had turned to ash, because of…
Sokka?
"...And then black snow fell from the sky..." The Chief said, the fire crackling against his weathered face. This was Katara's favorite time, where the Chief told tales of legends past. Someday he'd tell a story about her, and all the children who had bullied her would have to listen.
The Water Tribe children gasped. Even the youngest of them knew that when it rained ash it meant one thing: the Fire Nation was coming.
"'But who knows?' Hakoda told me. 'Maybe it's the Cardiac Kid: Prince Ozai. Rumor has it that he's hunting for the Avatar.'
'Could be,' I said. But I think we both knew it wasn't him. Still, we hoped, after all, we'd never gone against the Fire Nation before. Our chief always used to tell me: You don't pick a fight with the Hama of the world's tribe..."
Katara sighed. She, like most of the children, had heard this story about a thousand times and knew perfectly well it wasn't the gentle Prince Ozai.
"The moon waxed and the moon waned," The Chief said. The fire crackled, as the Chief thought of what to say next. "And when the moon was full they finally arrived. The sea was covered with them, canoes as large as glaciers. They were like a herd of penguin-otters there were so many of 'em. After the Phoenix King came in one of those ships we knew what they could do, and me and ole' Hakoda, we knew we were dead. But Hakoda, the crazy bastard, grabs a spear and goes out to meet 'em head on." The Chief's smile lit up the tribe more than the fire. "One man against an entire Fire Nation armada! I bet those Northerners had never met such a fool! Anyways, out from the lead ship steps this big, fat dude. From his appearance, he didn't look like anything special, but when he moved, when he spoke, we all knew: this was General Iroh. The Last Dragon. The Crown Prince of the Fire Nation. The strongest firebender of all time."
She could feel all the children staring at her. She ignored them. Kept staring at the Chief, who, for his part, was just looking at the fire, his eyes faraway.
"And what do you think were the first words of our crazy Chief? 'I challenge you to a one-on-one duel!' By the moon, we'll never meet his like again! Well maybe someday…"
Sokka grimaced, as it was his turn to be the center of attention. "Yeah, and he had Hama fight General Iroh. Real great man. Having a girl fight his battles."
The Chief frowned. "Your father was a great man Sokka. I can only wish to be half the leader he was. It was General Iroh who demanded a fight with Hama. What kind of leader would turn that down? Sacrifice one woman for the lives of the entire tribe?"
"I can't listen to this shit anymore," Sokka said, leaving the fire. "I'm gonna go fishing. Katara, wanna come?"
Great. Yeah, now everyone was glaring at her like she was the one torching their old chief's legacy. "I'm good." Katara said. "I like the story. I think Chief Hakoda was really brave."
Sokka rolled his eyes. "Oh and Bato? You're a better leader than he ever was." And with that, the Southern Water Tribe's only prince left in a royal huff.
The Chief looked like he'd been gutted. He wiped his eyes, and continued his story. "Well... General Iroh did end up fighting Hama. She had him trapped with her blood-, with her puppet bending, but he used some kinda firebending which didn't rely on body movement. He just moved his flames with his mind, like some kinda psychic. Anyways, he fought and beat Hama fairly. No complaints from me, not about the way he fought, but the way he won… It was… It was… She was burning alive, and you know what, maybe she was a powerful bender, but like Sokka said, she was a woman. And an old one too. The bastard was laughing as she screamed! He burnt her arms, then her legs, then one cheek, then another. Some people just wanna see the world burn kids. I'd always thought that evil was a myth, that the Fire Nation was just a buncha people who thought they were doing the right thing. That fight made me rethink things. The rumors about the prince were true. He was a monster. And once Hama was dead, the bastard asked who was next! Like anyone would say a thing after that, but the fucking bastard tells us he'll burn our tribe to ground if our benders don't announce themselves!"
The Chief stopped, as he finally noticed that all the children were staring at Katara. The girl who was half Fire Nation. The Chief gave her a warm smile, which didn't quite meet his eyes.
"But the Fire Nation wasn't evil of course. Nor was General Iroh, not really. He was just a man who loved to fight. I'm sure that if you shared a cup of tea with him, he'd seem like a pleasant enough fella. But this was war, and Iroh was merciless. A great bender. The best I, or anyone except maybe the old King Bumi, has ever seen. It was this man, at the height of his powers which Chief Hakoda challenged to a one-on-one duel. So, you might be asking yourself, why? Surely Hakoda knew he was going to lose."
Some of the younger children did seem confused. After all, what good would a one-on-one duel be against such an invincible bender? The first time Katara had heard the story she'd thought that Hakoda must've had some devious plan to overcome the General. But it wasn't that kind of story, and it wasn't that kind of world.
"You see children, except for the gentle Prince Ozai, the Fire Nation does not accept surrender. They see it as an act of cowardice, below humanity's dignity. If you surrender to the Fire Nation, you give up your human rights. They'll butcher the men and children like animals, and rape the women. Then, once they're finished they'll kill them too. Fighting and losing was the only option. But General Iroh, while maybe a nice enough fella over tea, was full of bloodlust. He was looking to sate it. So my best friend, ole' Hakoda, when he offers the General a one-on-one duel, he's gotta satisfy the General's urges all by his lonesome. The fight starts off innocent enough. A burn here. A burn there. Our hero Hakoda, he's trying, and he's a fine waterbender. But this Iroh dude, he just beat Hama, and she could do things nobody else could even dream about. Hakoda is completely outclassed. And the fight is slow. Painful. And Iroh, let's just say he seems eager to have Hakoda surrender. After each burn he keeps asking Hakoda to concede. But our chief, he refuses. He cares about us like we're his family."
The Chief's hands hovered over the flame. Closer and closer. He grimaced. Katara tried to subtly cool the fires, but well, fire was hot. Fire burnt. Fire destroyed.
"Hama screamed when she was burnt. I think anyone would. I would. But Chief Hakoda, he didn't scream. Not when Iroh burnt his arms. Not when Iroh burnt his legs. Hakoda, he never surrendered. He lost, but he never surrendered. Not even when Iroh burnt his eyes. Because in the Southern Water Tribe, we may lose, but we will never surrender. No one epitomized that more than Hakoda. He was the finest man I ever knew, and the best friend a man could ask for."
The Chief's smile lit up the tribe. A child raised his arm.
"Is Katara really General Iroh's daughter?"
The Chief's smile vanished. "I can't say. Kya was not happy after Hakoda's death, that I know for sure. She disappeared into the tundra. General Iroh followed, and returned with Katara sometime later. That is all I, or anyone else knows. He did not strike me as the kind of man who would force a woman, nor did Kya seem interested in taking another partner. I do know this though: Chief Hakoda would have treated Katara like one of his own. We must honor the Chief's wish."
Katara smiled. Or tried to. So… She really shoulda' just gone fishin' with Sokka.
Staying had been a mistake.
"I just need one more thing," Sokka said, his voice so self-satisfied he coulda been that jerk Hahn. His stupid steel toy boat floated lifelessly in a little bucket of water.
"Coal?" Katara asked, playing with a torch lit in another room in the ship. Pushing the fire up, pulling it down. Push and pull. Yin and yang.
"No," Sokka said. "What would be the point of that? The Fire Nation already has steam boats. What we need is gasoline."
"Great," Katara said. "What's that?"
"It can be refined from crude oil. See if you fill a big vat with oil, and heat it up, the oil will naturally separate into different layers. The second coolest layer gets you gasoline."
"Right," said Katara. How could Sokka be so interested in something so boring? "Where can we find it?"
"Crude oil can be found in great deposits under the earth." Sokka said. Katara opened her mouth to reply, when Sokka inexplicably continued. "It's made from crushed bodies of dead plankton. Plankton are these tiny animals, so small you can't even see 'em, that little fish eat. Then the fish we eat, eat those smaller fish. So if you think about it, we kinda eat the plankton too!"
"And what do the plankton eat?" Katara asked sarcastically.
"Cyano-"
"Oh right, I don't care," Katara said. "What does it matter where it came from? If it's under the ground, how do we get it? It's not like we have an earthbender to help us mine it."
Sokka shook his head and sighed. "You really should learn some science Katara. It offers a new perspective on the…"
Katara tuned out and focused on the fire in the nearby room. Bending came from the breath, of that she was sure. It also got stronger when she was angry, so maybe there was a connection between anger and bending. Hahn had called her a Fire Nation monster the other day. Qeorvik had pretended not to notice her when they'd both been cleaning fish. They were in the same room for the moon's sake, the girl could at least look at her! It was working, the fire was getting stronger!
So anger made bending stronger. But maybe, what if? She thought about Sikuaq showing her how to make hair loopies. The obnoxious girl had done it without even thinking! Yup, that made her bending stronger too. So it turned out that any strong emotion, good or bad, could power up her firebending!
That's the thing about bending. If you want to know its inner workings and rules, you must test them. Speculating can lead to faster short term improvement, but true knowledge must be tested because of your feeble hum-
"...Earth to Katara!" Sokka waved his hands in front of her face. He sighed. "Whatever. Look here." He spread out a map on the floor. Katara couldn't read it, but she could still tell it was a map of the boat. "I think we might be able to find some oil here." He pointed to a room on the top level of the boat. Right in the front.
"That's the captain's quarters right?" Katara asked. "Don't you think it's like, probably, you know totally booby trapped?"
Sokka scratched his chin, then stood. "Perhaps it is booby trapped Katara. But us tribesmen share an unquenchable thirst for knowledge! We're not put out by silly things like what if this happens, or what if that happens, we jump into the water headfirst!"
Katara exhaled, putting out the fire in the nearby room. "Alright Sokka. Jump."
Sokka glanced down at her and frowned. "Aren't you gonna, you know, tell me, 'Sokka, we need to talk to the Chief about this! Gosh you're so irresponsible!'"
"Nope," said Katara.
"It is dangerous Katara," Sokka lectured, starting to pace the engine room. "What if the Fire Nation figures out what we're doing? I could be getting us all killed." He kneaded his hands.
"Nah," Katara said, smirking. "The Fire Nation only respects bending remember? They don't care about your stupid little toys. They'll think they're a complete waste of time. They'll think you're being a delusional idiot."
"Is there something you want to tell me Katara?"
She smiled innocently. "Only half."
"Very funny," Sokka said. "The Fire Nation is winning this war because of their technological superiority. If we ever want to turn the tide-"
"Sokka?" Katara asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're not stalling are you? You scared?"
"I'm just thinking," Sokka sighed. "Maybe we should tell Bato. This is bigger than me. This concerns the entire tribe. This isn't my decision to make."
Katara laughed in his face. "Then go. Tell them. You know how I feel about your little science obsession. I think it's great that you're finally opening your eyes Sokka. They're a bunch of cowards. They'll put a stop to this madness."
"You're the one who needs to open your eyes Katara," Sokka snapped.
Sokka's insistence of science over bending was getting annoying. That wasn't how the world worked. It never had been. The world had changed because Sozin, a firebender, had decided to try his hand at world conquest, while the Avatar, the perennial greatest bender, had vanished. The person who controlled the fate of the planet had always been the strongest bender.
"Our tribe aren't cowards. We've been conquered before. We're at the whims of more powerful countries. We want to have pride, but we've never managed to do more than survive. That's all we've got. Survival. And we cling to it with all we've got. You understand that, right Katara?" Sokka's gaze was more than a little desperate.
Katara's face went red, as she realized how bitter she'd sounded. How angry she'd allowed herself to become. She'd always had problems with controlling her rage, but she'd always taken it out on people who deserved it. Not on the Chief. Not on Sokka. What was happening to her?
"I'm…" For some reason the words wouldn't come out. But she was sorry. She'd overcome her resentment towards the- her- tribe someday. Her ho… Her ho… Where she lived. "I want to bend Sokka. But I don't. For the tribe. For your science. I need to know it's worth it. Let's go."
"I," Sokka said. "You're right. We can do this. We'll make the Southern Water Tribe the strongest country in the world. And it all starts right here, with this little boat."
The two of them tip-toed, well Sokka tip-toed up two flights of stairs, across a hallway, and opened a heavy pair of doors. The room was like the rest of the ship. Empty. Except for a desk. Katara strolled to it, jumping over a trip wire. Well, look at that, Sokka had been right. It had been booby trapped. Of course only the clumsiest oaf would get caught in something so obvi-
"Eek!" Sokka tripped the wire. A volley of arrows exploded from a wall, hurtling straight at him. Katara took a breath, and annihilated the arrows with a fireball.
Sokka was safe, but she heard something sizzling, like fat on a frying pan. Bang! A flare left a red cloud as it twinkled in the sky. If any Fire Nation ships were nearby, well they'd almost certainly take it as an act of aggression. Big deal. Sokka was safe. If the same thing happened a hundred times, Katara would firebend the arrows to ash a hundred times. Besides, if the Fire Nation sent an armada, this time they had the Last Waterbender to protect them.
And her of course. Katara would help the Southern Water Tribe. If they asked for it. If they begged.
Anyways, they'd come here for gasoline right? Katara checked the desk, pulled open some drawers, and sure enough, found a bottle of liquid as black as midnight. How the heck was Sokka always able to predict these kinda things, but miss a simple trip wire? Was he an idiot or a genius?
"Katara," Sokka said slowly. "You firebent?"
"I found the gasoline," Katara said, shaking the drum.
"You promised not to," Sokka said. "We promised!"
"It was an emergency."
"So what? You keep a promise no matter what! A promise doesn't mean anything if you break it as soon as it's inconvenient!"
"You would've died if I hadn't used my bending!"
"Then you should've let me die!" Sokka said. "This whole thing was my idea. My responsibility. I tripped the wire, and now the entire tribe is gonna have to pay for it!" He was glancing back and forth across the horizon. As if a Fire Nation armada was gonna fall outta the sky. "Promise me Katara. If the Fire Nation comes, promise me you won't firebend again."
"I'll be our only hope," Katara gushed. "I'll protect the tribe with my bending. I promise Sokka, I'll get us out of this."
She'd be a hero. Then she'd be treated like a hero. Then maybe she wouldn't be so angry all the time. Then maybe she'd become a good girl. A good person. Like she used to be.
"How are you not getting this?" Sokka threw up his arms. "Nothing good comes from bending!"
"I saved your life," Katara said. "I think that counts as a good thing."
"You might've just killed the entire tribe for one person. That's a bad thing Katara! A really, really bad thing."
"I saved a Prince." Katara fought off a smile. "I think if you told the tribe what happened they'd be pretty happy with my firebending."
Sokka slapped his forehead. "Don't tell me you believe that crap too? What have I ever done Katara? I'm not a Prince. I'm not even a man, I'm just a kid. I wanna do great things someday, cool, so does everyone else! I'm just another member of the tribe! We're equals. Equals. Why can't anyone else see that? The world isn't made up of heroes and bad guys and peasants Katara, that's just for stories."
Katara grimaced. What in the moon was this? She'd saved him, and he was angry with her?
"If the roles were reversed," Katara said. "And you had to bend to save me, what would you have done Sokka?"
Her brother froze. "The roles weren't reversed."
"What would you have done Sokka?"
Sokka grabbed the gasoline from her. "C'mon Katara. Let's go tell the Chief what I've actually done. I fucked up bad, the least I can do is face the consequences of my actions."
"What we've done," Katara corrected.
"What I've done," Sokka insisted. "I'm the older one. This is my responsibility."
Katara could've skipped back to the tribe. There was a reason Sokka hadn't answered her question. She'd cornered him. If the roles had been reversed, her older brother would have absolutely done the same thing she did. For all his talk, deep down he knew the truth.
Bending was useful. Those with bending were special.
Bending matters.
"So let me get this straight Sokka," The Chief said, shaking his head. "You found a Fire Nation Cruiser- and told no one, including me, your Chief- which was full of textbooks, and studied them in secret for years, and used them to build this?" The Chief nodded to the toy boat in a puddle in the middle of his igloo. "You brought your sister into the mix, and while she wanted to tell me about your mischief, you convinced her otherwise. Together the two of you went to the Captain Ukano's old room, and you accidentally tripped a wire which set off an emergency Fire Nation flare. That's the entire story? Nothing else happened? No bending?"
"That's correct sir," said Sokka.
"And Katara knew nothing about this? I find that hard to believe. You two do everything together."
"Just me," Sokka lied. "I was the one who found the ship. I was the one who explored it. I was the one who wanted to search the Captain's room. Just me. Today was her first day in the cruiser."
"Is this true Katara?" The Chief asked.
"It is," Sokka answered.
"Is this true Katara?" The Chief asked again.
Gone was the kind old man who acted like everyone's father. In his place was, a… A Chief. The leader of the Southern Water Tribe. Sokka had insisted she come with him this time. He'd said it was time he stopped shielding her from the world.
She could blow up Sokka's brilliant plan with one word.
"Erm," Katara mumbled. "Yeah, I guess."
"Well," said the Chief. "Let's see it then."
"See what sir?" Asked Sokka.
"The boat, the one you built. Show me the invention so important you risked the entire tribe to get it running."
Sokka turned a knob, and the toy boat started to rumble. Roar like an animal. It jumped, and skidded it's way across the puddle. When it hit the water's edge it leapt onto the ice, and kept on going until it slammed into the edge of the igloo. It cracked into the ice wall, and the front of the hull ruptured. The invention Sokka had dedicated years of his life to, started to burn, ruined just moments into its first run.
Sokka yelped and poured snow onto his ship, trying to put out the fire. It wasn't the kinda flame that could be killed with water, but Katara bent it away.
"Calving glaciers," the Chief said slowly. "That's it then. That's what you've dedicated your life to building."
"Um…" Sokka's eyes were wet. "Yes sir. This is what I believe in. Science. You. Me. Unlike bending, anyone can do it. That's why…"
"Well." The Chief picked up the boat, inspecting it closely. "It's strong at least. What powers it?"
"It's called an internal combustion engine," Sokka said listlessly. "The um… The Fire Nation ships all run on coal. Steam. It's a very diffuse energy source sir. It results in slow bulky ships. If we could build a cruiser powered by gasoline we'd sail circles around 'em."
The Chief gave the toy back to Sokka. "It won't work son. Going against the Fire Nation is a fool's errand. We don't even have any benders anymore!"
Katara smirked. If only he knew. She opened her mouth, but Sokka shut her up with a glare.
"You should've known better. Your father would be ashamed."
Despite his words, Katara saw the truth. Heard the truth. The hunger in the Chief's eyes. The desire underneath his words. The Chief wanted to be convinced. He wanted Sokka to be the next chief.
And the thing was…
It was there. Her brother was a leader. Everyone saw it. He'd lead the Southern Water Tribe to greatness someday. With his stupid science.
"And I should care why?" Sokka asked coldly. "What do you think Bato? Are you ashamed of me?"
"I…" Bato said, squirming. "Your father was…"
Sokka rolled his eyes.
And Bato took a swing. "You spoiled little welp! I should've done this earlier. Sometimes respect can only be learned through a whupping."
Sokka ducked under the punch. "Bring it on ole' man."
And the confession turned into an old fashioned brawl. Katara took that as her signal to leave. She was left asking herself one question: Why hadn't she just come clean?
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Sokka wandered back home early the next morning. He had a couple bruises, walked with a limp, and sported a nasty black eye. "I deserved the punishment," Sokka claimed loudly. "That's why I let Bato win."
Gran-Gran snorted, and told Sokka it was his turn to wash the dishes and fetch water. Sokka whimpered and complained that he'd been beaten so badly he couldn't possibly be expected to do such chores.
"Make Katara do it," Sokka said.
"Sokka," Gran-Gran warned.
"Alright, alright," Sokka said, and grabbed a bucket full of dirty dishes. Katara left with him.
"Those are Sokka's chores Katara," Gran-Gran said. "Don't do them for him. They're his responsibility. His contribution."
"I know Gran-Gran."
Katara hopped out of the igloo. She needed to ask her brother some questions.
"I love you Katara," Gran-Gran called after her.
"Love ya Gran-Gran," Katara called back. In a short while, she was sitting by a fire, watching Sokka clean the same dish about fifteen times. "Anything more happen?" Katara asked. "After I left and you took your beating?"
"Not much." Sokka stared at the plate, and shrugged. "It's just- Bato told me he'd never let me become a man. Not as long as he was Chief. He told me I could've destroyed the entire tribe with my selfishness."
"That's not fair!" Katara said, and all the campfires in the tribe flared up at once. "You're the oldest child in the tribe Sokka! You've deserved the opportunity for years! And it's not true! I was the one who-"
Sokka shook his head, holding the plate limply. "My fault. I deserve it. That flare could've brought in the entire Fire Nation."
"Yeah but still," Katara sniffed. "It was my fault too. C'mon, we both knew it's true. I was the one who convinced you to find the gasoline, I was the one who actually ignited the flare. If you're being punished, I should be punished too. Why'd you lie? Why'd you say it was only you?"
"Why'd you go along with it?" Sokka inspected the dishes very, very carefully. Suddenly they were the most interesting thing in the world. "C'mon Katara, we both know why. Don't make me say it."
Katara's lip wobbled. Her eyes stung. Her stomach sunk. "Say it Sokka."
"It's because Bato," Sokka grimaced, as if each word hurt him almost as much as Katara. "And the tribe. Well eventually, I know that, eventually they'll forgive me. But you… They'd never forgive you Katara."
"Why?" Katara asked, her words as forceful as a fire strike. "Say it!"
"Because I'm family." Sokka shrunk. His voice, already a whisper, grew quieter with every word. "And you're… Not."
Katara felt herself smile. She'd known it was true for as long as she could remember. It felt good to have it out in the open. All this tribe family stuff that they liked to spout off about, it was all a bunch of crap.
"I'm gonna tell them," Katara said softly. "About the flare. About my bending. Everything."
"No, you can't," Sokka said desperately.
"I'm tired of hiding who I am," Katara said.
"That's not who you are Katara," Sokka said. "It's just a small little part. You can change. You can change Katara."
"I can't," Katara said firmly. "I'm a firebender Sokka."
"No."
"Yes."
"You promised," Sokka begged. "You promised me! It's our secret Katara." His voice broke. "Our secret."
So. It was like that huh?
"Fine," Katara said bitterly. "I'll keep it a secret."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Katara said.
"Thank you, thank you," Sokka said, taking her hand. "It'll get better Katara. I promise it'll get better."
Katara shook him off, and stormed away. She needed to be alone.
"Bye Katara," Sokka called after her. "I love you."
She didn't look back. She didn't answer. She was leaving.
Katara kicked the canoe into the water. She should've done this a long time ago. It didn't matter that it was midnight, it didn't matter that it was hundreds of miles to Kyoshi Island, she was finally leaving. It felt like her life was finally starting.
"Katara," Gran-Gran said.
Katara couldn't look back. Because if she did, she wasn't sure she could go through with this. With abandoning everything. "Don't try and stop me Gran-Gran."
Gran-Gran handed her a bucket full of clean water, and the cover of a frying pan. "If you light a fire under it, fresh water will separate from the salt."
Katara took the bucket. "I've got nothing to start a fire."
Gran-Gran smiled knowingly. "I'm sure you'll find a way."
"I have to do this Gran-Gran," Katara said stiffly.
"I know," Gran-Gran hugged her. "I understand Katara. You'll always have a home in the Southern Water Tribe."
"If I did, I wouldn't be leaving."
Gran-Gran stoked her hair. "You'll always have a home with me."
Katara pulled away, and got in her canoe. And as she always did with family, she left.
Open your eyes Katara. Bending is all that matters to you.
She couldn't disagree with the alien voice that had always followed her, no matter its obvious contempt. And her hatred, her rage, as dangerous as a loaded crossbow, which she had directed at Hahn, then Qeorvik, then Sokka, then the Chief, then the Tribe, was finally pointed at the one person who actually deserved it.
Herself.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading. Tune in next week for the beginning of the end, with the first part of chapter 12: The Phoenix Returns... Here's a sneak peek:
The Chief was talking with someone new today. Chatting. Laughing. Bursting at the seams like he was talking with an old friend.
The newcomer was an ordinary middle-aged man who almost looked like he was from the Fire Nation, except for his eyes… They weren't the ocean blue of the Water Tribe, nor were they the honest green of the Earth Kingdom, not the wise gray of the Air Nomads, or even the intense gold of the Fire Nation. They were brown. Spectacularly unspectacular.
"Are you the Avatar?" The brown-eyed man asked.
"I am," said Avatar Aang. "I'm here to save this tribe."
"Sorry. I just... I have done my best... But I am not… I have been waiting for you for a long time." The brown-eyed man wiped his brown eyes. Aang noticed how tired the man looked. His skin had an unhealthy pale glow, and his black hair was thin and frail. "I am… I come from the Fire Nation. We should not have killed the Air Nomads. It was a great atrocity that should never have happened. I apologize."