As always, thanks for reading!

This one is yet another take on the post-finale kiss. For this one, I'm operating under the assumption that Rollins knew about Nicole and that Carisi told Amanda he and Nicole broke up.

22x16

Sonny's POV

"Carisi."

"What?" I ask, turning to face her more, biting back a smile at the way she has one piece of hair flying in the wind. For a second, I think about making a joke about the amount of hair gel I must use compared to her, but the look on her face causes me to pause.

She opens her mouth – twice – to speak, but each time she closes it again before she says anything. I watch her carefully – the feel of her skin still stinging my fingertips after wiping away her tears.

I have loved Amanda for so long, but the purgatory of loving her from afar, and only as a friend, is starting to take its toll. There was a time when I used to believe that love was this magical force, that if you had love, that was enough. But the thing about that is, love isn't enough when it is one-sided. And that's what pushed me into seeing Nicole. My feelings for Amanda were unrequited, and I wasn't getting any younger. I had to do something. I couldn't live like this forever, but since things with Nicole didn't work out, maybe I will have to live this way forever. I don't know if I can put that effort in with someone else when a part of my heart will always belong to Amanda Rollins and those two little girls of hers that I couldn't possibly love more than I already do.

My parents were married for over twenty years by the time they were the age I am now. They had a whole life and family established together, and what do I have? Nothing besides a new career that I'm still trying to find solid footing in and the beginnings of a few nasty stomach ulcers.

Things were fun when we first met after a conference. Nicole was beautiful, smart, easy to talk to, and I thought maybe she could be the one. But, as it turns out, if you don't really love someone, that isn't enough to sustain a relationship either. As things progressed, it became clear that Nicole and I are fundamentally different people. I haven't seen her in person in over three weeks, and tonight was supposed to be the first date night we had in a while, but when she told me she wasn't coming because of work and the fact that she has ethical issues with attending a wedding, I knew we were over before she even sent the single sentence message text thirty minutes after our heated phone call.

Before I can even realize what is happening, or ask her what she's trying to say, Amanda's fingers press against my tie more firmly and then she is leaning in closer and closer until...until her lips are on mine.

And it was electrifying.

Every single feeling I had for her that I tried to bury and forget about bubbled to the surface in an instant.

But I could kick myself for being too stunned to react fast enough and the next thing I can process is the loss of contact as she pulls away slowly and her eyes search mine. I can't help but to wonder if she's waiting for me to tell her that this is all wrong.

But it's not wrong.

It could never be wrong.

It's more right than anything has ever been before. For as much as I wanted to be with her that drunken night in a seedy West Virginia motel, this is better because we're both stone cold sober.

I lean in the slightest millimeter and it was enough to dissipate whatever worry I picked up on in her mannerisms for that brief second.

I don't really know how to describe what is happening. It's new and exciting but comforting and familiar all at once.

This is home.

I never noticed how extreme our height difference was until this moment. Even in heels, she's standing on her tiptoes so her hand can cup my face, and I leaned forward more, trying to get closer and make her more comfortable. It works because her one hand goes to the side of my head and she wraps the other around my back.

"I'm sorry about the timing of this..." she starts when we reluctantly pull away from each other. "I know you and Nicole just ended things, and it might be too soon, but what I'm saying is...I'll wait. We don't have to start this now-"

"No!" I interject. "It's not too soon. Does it bother you?" I raise an eyebrow.

"No. This is what I've wanted. I realized it for sure when Bucci took me. When he had that gun aimed on my head, I could only think about the girls...and...and you. And I still couldn't bring myself to tell you that, because I thought you deserved better – someone without all of my crazy baggage. I wanted you then, but I had to work on healing myself first. I kept up therapy throughout the pandemic, and then New Year's Eve happened, I just assumed everything would fall into place. But the Amber Alert, and..."

"I'm an idiot," I interrupt her again. "I should have realized that. I never should have tried things out with Nicole. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Dominick," she whispers sincerely. "You aren't a mind reader, and I'm not the easiest person to read, either. It was hard seeing you in a relationship, and I never even met her...I can't imagine how you must've felt about Al...I suspected you had feelings for me then, but I wasn't ready for a good guy like you. You made it clear that I deserved someone better than Al, and I still ended up having a kid with him..."

"You know," I begin to confess, "sometimes I hate how much I hate him, because I love Billie so much and she's Billie because of him."

She chews on her bottom lip. "I get it. There are times when I think about how maybe if I would have worked on healing from my past sooner, she could have been yours, and then I feel guilty...and I'm not even Catholic. I can't imagine how you must feel."

"It's a hard thing to reconcile sometimes, but, my God, Amanda, I love both of those girls so much. You know that right? I would do anything to keep them safe. Biology and DNA doesn't matter."

"I know," her voice cracks. "Their fathers never looked at them when they first met them the same way you did."

We're staring into each other's eyes again, and everything seems so clear. It's as if I could see the last of the walls she had built up crumble before me, and I want to remember everything about this moment forever. It was a long and messy path to get to this, but it's here now, and everything was worth it.

"Rollins?" I start with a smirk.

"What?" she asks, much like I did not all that long ago.

I brush my thumb against her cheek, and I don't answer with words. Instead, I lean in to kiss her, and tangle my fingers in her hair as she brings her hand to cradle the side of my face again.

I don't know how long we're like this – completely lost in each other and oblivious to everything else around us. Slowly, I become aware of my phone vibrating in my pocket. I curse under my breath as we pull away from each other, and Amanda raises her eyebrow when I use the one swear word that she says a lot more than I do.

"It's Hadid," I tell her, even though I'm sure she figures as much. I open the text message. "Benson and I have to go back to the DA's office."

She sighed. "I thought that would happen." She mumbled as she rested her head against my chest.

"Raincheck?" I ask, hopefully.

Her eyes twinkle when she looks at me again. "Are you gonna collect on this one, Counselor?" Her fingers are tapping my face gently, her thumbs nearly brushing against my lips.

I wrap my pointer finger and thumb around her wrist and turn my head so I can kiss the inside of her wrist. "Absolutely."

"Good answer. Call me when you're done."

"You sure? I'll probably be a few hours. I don't want to wake you."

"I'll be awake. I'm sure of it."

Amanda's POV

I stifle a yawn as I plop myself down in the chair behind Sonny's desk. I was too hyped up to stay at the party without him, and I really didn't want to go home to an empty apartment, either. So, I stayed to talk to Kat and Celine for a little bit. Then, I called my mom and said goodnight to the girls before I decided I'd go over to the DA's office and wait for Sonny. The desire to be close to him, even if it was just in the same building as him, was overwhelming.

Just the thought of him brings a smile and a blush to my face. My hand involuntarily goes to my lips, and if I close my eyes, I can transport myself back to the moment we shared by the river a few hours ago. Kissing him was better than any high I ever got from gambling.

I hear footsteps and only panic for a second before I recognize them as his. I really don't know how I'd explain to Hadid why I'm here if she asked.

He looks confused for the briefest second before he smiles when he sees me sitting in his chair. "Hey. This is a sight for sore eyes. What are you doing here?" He asks curiously as he closes the door behind him. He drops his briefcase down on the chair I usually sit in and then sat sits down in the other one.

"Thought I could drive you home," I say casually. "And I know you. You would have been debating with yourself about calling me at this hour even though I told you I'd be awake."

"That's not wrong."

He smirks, and the butterflies in my stomach feel like they're doing somersaults. I realize, now, that I can name that look in his eyes every time he looks at me. It's love and it's been there for as long as I can remember. I just wish I could have identified it sooner...accepted it sooner...because maybe we could have been in a different place by now. I could have saved us both – and Nicole- some heartache.

"Not that I'm complainin', but how'd you even get in here?" He wonders, crossing his arms.

I smirk now. "I may have used my badge and a file folder that I had in my car to my advantage. I told the night security officer that it was imperative that I get this information to Counselor Carisi right away."

Sonny lets out a small laugh. "I'm glad it worked. It probably sounds silly...but I missed you, Rollins." He admits, shyly.

"I felt that way, too," and I wasn't even afraid to admit that to him.

"So, I just have to ask, though, what was in the folder that was so important?" He teases, probably expecting it to be an empty folder.

I laugh, reaching to hand him the file. "Jessie and Billie's latest daycare artwork. They wanted me to give it to you a few days ago, but with the case and everything, I forgot."

He opens the folder, grinning at the two water color paintings inside. He studies it carefully before he says, "This office can always use a pop of color." He reaches over for the scotch tape dispenser before he walks over to tape the newest artwork onto his filing cabinet. "I clearly have the best office décor in the entire building."

I can't help but to smile as I watch him, but it's so late, my smile somehow morphs into a yawn.

"Come on, Rollins," he says as he walks over to extend his hand and help me up from the chair. "It's late. Let's get you home. I'll drive," he finishes as he snatches my car keys from his desk and drops them in his pocket.

He doesn't let go of my hand as we walk towards his office door. He stops abruptly and turns around before he reaches opens the door. He's silent as his hand reaches out to cup my face and seconds later his lips are on mine.

I can already tell I will never tire of kissing this man.

It's the missing piece of my life, I'm sure of it.

"I've been wanting to kiss you in here for the longest time," he confesses.

I just smile at him for a second, with a silly love drunk expression on my face. "Carisi?" I begin, breathlessly, like I did hours ago.

This time instead of a clipped, "what?" he replies with a soft, "Hmm?"

"Your apartment's closer." I kiss him again, just because I can.

I feel him smile against my lips. "It is," he agrees.

I know we have a lot to talk about – about what exactly this means, how to explain this to the girls, and a disclosure for work, but for the next three days, I just want things to be simple and uncomplicated.

We can work everything else out, later, as long as we face it together.

I know it.

Everything that usually scares me, seems a lot less scary and intimidating with my partner by my side.