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21x10.

"I know you're worried about her, Carisi," Liv said firmly. "But take a breath. We have to do this right. You know that more than anyone."

Dominick Carisi ran his hand through his hair and pushed down the urge he had to throw up on the side of the street. "I need to...I need to go see the girls." He finally said.

Liv nodded understandingly. "I think that will be good for everyone. Jessie looked so scared when she saw me...I wish...I wish I could have stayed with her."

He bit the inside of his cheek as his brain conjured up the image of a heartbroken and terrified Jessie and, for a second, he wondered if he was having a heart attack. The tightness in his chest was nearly unbearable and he swore he could feel Jessie's pain on top of his own. "Call me when you get something else."

"Of course."

A short while later, Carisi was climbing the staircase of Amanda's apartment building. He reached for his ID badge from the DA's office to show the young patrolman who was standing guard outside of the door. It felt weird to be showing a laminated ID badge and not the shield he wore proudly for so long. "ADA Dominick Carisi," he said, still getting used to those words coming from his lips instead of "Detective Carisi." "I'm a friend of Detective Rollins...I wanted to check on her daughters. They're my..."

The young man cut him off and waved him on before he could finish explaining that they were his goddaughters. "Captain Benson radioed that you were on your way over. Go ahead."

He thinks he mumbled a polite "thanks" as he walked over to the door and knocked.

It didn't take long before Sienna cracked open the door with the chain still in place. "Mr. Carisi?" She sighed, welcoming the slightly familiar face. They had only met a few times, but she knew he was to be trusted. Amanda always told her if something were to happen and they couldn't reach her, she should always call him next. His name was higher on the list of emergency contacts than Billie's father and Amanda's own mother, so Sienna always figured whoever or whatever he was to Amanda was incredibly special.

"Sienna...hi." He forced a smile as she released the chain on the door.

"Did they find her yet?" She whispered.

"Not yet. I just, uh, I thought I'd come check on the girls – see if you needed anything."

"Billie's asleep...oblivious to all of this. Jessie though...she's scared. I don't know what to tell her. She knows something is wrong, but I just keep saying Amanda is at work."

Sienna didn't get a chance to say anything else because Jessie appeared in the hallway with them. "Uncle Sonny?" Her voice sounded so small and afraid. "Is Momma with you?" She asked as she stuck her thumb in her mouth.

He kneeled down to her level. He barely said, "Not yet, baby," before she threw herself in his arms and sobbed.

She mumbled, unintelligibly, and Sonny gently pried her fingers away from her mouth so he could decipher what she was saying.

"Where is she? She didn't call to say night-night! She always calls if I have to go to bed before she comes home!"

"Come here, ssh." He lifted her in his arms. "I got you," he whispered. "I got you." He blinked back his own tears as he wondered what to say to Jessie. He wanted to assure her that her mother would be okay and she would be home soon, but he had no way of knowing that and it terrified him. "Momma's working real hard to get home as soon as she can," he finally said.

After nearly twenty minutes of pacing the tiny kitchen before Jessie finally settled down, he said, "Is it okay if I tuck you in before I have to leave?"

"You hafta go away?" her bottom lip quivered and she started to cry again.

"Only for a little bit. I have to go help so Momma can get home sooner."

Her brows furrowed. "Momma said you're not a policeman no more. You're a-a loy-ber." She managed between sobs.

Jessie's mispronunciation of the word lawyer was so sweet and innocent that it made him smile for the briefest second before reality crashed through again. "That won't ever stop me from helping your momma. She's always gonna be my partner. I will always, always, always do everything I can to help you, your sister, and your momma." He kissed her hair. "Always," he promised again.

Jessie sniffled, satisfied enough with the response. "Like a daddy's 'posed to?" she asked and his heart broke.

"Something like that," he said softly.

"I don't have a daddy and if mommy doesn't come home, I'm not gonna have a mommy." The little girl was nearly hyperventilating again.

"Oh, Jess." He sighed, pulling her closer as he blinked away his own tears again. "Look at me," he encouraged as he shifted her in his arms. "Watch me. Breathe like this."

Jessie mirrored her uncle's actions, and slowly, her breathing returned to normal.

"You'll always have me. Don't you ever forget that. I love you and Billie more than you will ever know." Sonny said after Jessie exhaled her last deep breath.

"Do you love Mommy that much, too?"

He didn't even hesitate. "Yes, I do."

"Can I sleep in Momma's bed? If Billie gets to sleep in there, I wanna sleep in there."

Sonny nodded, remembering that Billie's crib was still in Amanda's room. "Sure. That's okay."

"And you'll tuck me in and stay 'til I fall asleep?"

"Of course."

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

"I...I don't know, yet."

"Oh," she said flatly.

"But," Sonny continued without missing a beat. "I'll make sure Sienna has my phone number and she can call me anytime you want to talk to me, okay?"

Jessie sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "Okay."

Sonny stepped out of his shoes and then carried Jessie down the hall and crossed the threshold to Amanda's room. "We have to whisper," he reminded her. "Billie is sleeping."

Jessie nodded against his chest.

"There you go," he said, placing her on the middle of the bed and watching as she crawled to one side.

"This is where Momma sleeps," she told him in the loud type of whisper that toddlers do. "It smells like her." She patted the empty mattress beside her as she buried her face into the pillow. "See?" she asked him.

Sonny took a deep breath as he sat down on the edge of the bed, and nodded.

"Mommy smells pretty, right?"

"The prettiest," he agreed, scooting around on the bed so Jessie could curl up beside him.

He and Amanda were close they always had been – but he had never been in her bed before. A small part of him felt like he was intruding in her private space, but he knew he needed to do this for Jessie's sake.

There was also a part of him that would imagine what it would be like to slip into her bed – a fantasy that he allowed himself to indulge in during sleepless nights. He imagined it many different ways, but never once did he imagine it this way. Not slipping into her bed, comforting her crying toddler while her baby was sound asleep in the crib a few feet away, after she had been abducted.

Simply put, he never imagined being in her bed without her.

"Uncle Sonny?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can you talk to me 'til I fall asleep?"

"Of course, I can..."

Amanda was wrapped in the comfort of her own bed with her girls and Frannie with her – listening to the comforting sounds of Carisi cleaning up the dinner dishes in the kitchen. There was something about this domestic scene that felt like it was meant to be.

He didn't leave after he brought her home, and she didn't even bother to fight him on it. She needed the kind of comfort and stability that only he could provide after everything that happened.

It was hard for her to comprehend the whirlwind that her life had been since she stepped into Dr. Hanover's office for that therapy session. She was exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically when she finally returned to the precinct and felt like she could breathe again after Carisi carefully took the gun away from hair was matted against her face, her skin grimy and her clothes filthy as they clung to her skin, but none of that had seemed to matter when Sonny held her in the elevator, burying his face in the hair on the top of her head, as she cried in his arms.

Truthfully, in that moment, it was the safest she had ever felt in her entire life.

She lost track of how much time had passed – just her and her girls cuddling in her bed – with her mug of tea long forgotten on her nightstand, but the sounds of Sonny moving around in the kitchen were becoming less, and the panic that he might be leaving soon bubbled in her stomach. Now that the girls were asleep, she carefully placed Billie into her crib before returning to her bed to adjust the covers around Jessie and kiss her forehead.

Then, she quietly slipped out of the bedroom.

"Carisi," she whispered, as she approached the kitchen, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Manda, what's wrong?" He asked as he spun around to face her as he removed the dish towel that was over his shoulder onto the counter. "What do you need?"

"Nothing...I uh..." she whispered, stepping closer to him. "I just..."

"Whatever it is you can tell me." He reached out to place his hands on her arms, gently, waiting to see if she would flinch or pull away from him. After years of working in sex crimes, there was a question lingering in his mind that he didn't know how to ask her. "Did Bucci-" he cleared his throat. "Amanda, did Bucci-" he tried again. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the words out, especially because, after one particularly tough case a few years ago, Amanda confided in him what Patton had done to her, and If Bucci did the same..."I mean, … I, uh..."

"No, no," she cut him off before those words could catch in his throat again. "It's not that. He actually was a pretty decent abductor...all things considered."

"Amanda."

"I'm serious. I was terrified, but I don't think he actually would have hurt me. We had a connection." She watched as Sonny let out little puffs of air from his nose and bit down on his bottom lip. She knew he was trying to calm himself down.

"What he did was wrong."

"Yeah, but if someone did that to my girls..."

He would be there right alongside of Amanda if someone took advantage of Jessie and Billie the way Bucci's daughters were taken advantage of. "What he did was still wrong...going after you and Hanover like that."

"I know, Carisi," she ran her hand through her hair. "I know but...just...never mind actually." Amanda sighed as they walked over to the couch and sat down. "There's something else I'd rather say right now." She let out a shaky breath, trying to control her emotions. "I just wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For last night. Jessie told me she was afraid but then you came and stayed with her until she fell asleep and that just...that means everything to me, Dominick. I know I said I didn't think he'd hurt me, but every time I close my eyes..." her voice broke, "I see him pointing that gun at me, and, um...I...well, I think about what could have happened. I thought about the girls the whole entire time and I just knew that no matter what, they'd be okay as long as they had you in some way or another. So, thank you for loving them as much as I do."

"A-Amanda," he choked out, inching closer to her, wishing the circumstances were different because all he wanted to do was kiss her, but he would never do that now. It would feel like he was taking advantage of her, and he would never be that guy. "Do you want to talk about what happened...?"

"No."

"I won't force you to talk about what happened, but you'll have to sooner or later. And if not to me, someone."

"I know...but...just not tonight. Not yet. Not now."

"Okay...okay. I understand, Rollins."

"Can you stay tonight?" She asked softly, almost embarrassed by her request.

He nodded, leaning over to pull her legs onto the couch before he tucked her against his side. "I planned on staying whether you wanted me to or not," he told her. "Just try to rest.

"Can you talk to me until I fall asleep?"

"You know," his hand came to her scalp on autopilot mode and he massaged it gently. "That's the same thing Jessie said to me last night."

A smile ghosted across her lips. "Jessie left that part out. What did you two talk about?"

"Things that made us happy."

"Like?" She prompted as she shifted slightly to get in a more comfortable position, pressing herself closer to him in the process, and then closing her eyes with a soft sigh.

"Uh, well. Let's see, there was Frannie, Billie, ice cream, spaghetti, and Paw Patrol, but mostly we talked about you and how you make us happy...because you're the best momma and partner in the whole wide world."

She was quiet for a moment as she vowed to herself that she would get help, real help, and continue focusing on getting past all her past traumas, because maybe she could be with a nice guy, after all. A good guy. But not just any guy.

Him.

"You make us all happy, too. Especially me," she added softly, so softly, that he thought she said it in her sleep.