The Monsters' Club: Snapshots & Holiday Specials
Authors Note: Hello all. I thought I'd treat our TMC readers and fans by re-posting the holiday specials, starting with this one as it is indeed St. Patrick's Day. These aren't new, but you may enjoy reading them over again, hopefully, and it gives you a TMC fix in the meantime. My boyfriend and I can only apologise enough for taking so long with the main TMC fic, though we are working on a new chapter as we speak. For now, I thought the holiday and one off specials would suffice whilst we're waiting for new updates on the main fic. All twenty of these holiday specials are just cluttering up the doc manager, so I need to clear space too. I also thought we could write and post any other pieces set in the TMC-Verse that aren't necessarily holiday related. Some 'a day in the life of...' or something that wouldn't fit into the narrative of the main fic, you know. If you have any kind of requests, let me know. Also, major spoilers ahead for the main TMC story, which is still in the early days. If you don't mind spoilers then reading these shouldn't be an issue. Anyway, enjoy. And Happy St Patrick's Day. :) There'll be an update for this every couple of days. Look forward to them. - Laura & Thomas.
St. Patrick's Day
"Ha, what happened to you, Pin-Boy? Did your girls decide to play fancy dress up with you today?" Freddy barked with laughter, holding his hands against his side, ignoring the death-like glares that Pinhead was giving back to him.
Though it was difficult for Pinhead to look at all threatening with him being dressed from head to toe in green - along with a casual shirt and jeans that he had been practically forced to wear. Despite his protests, Kirsty wouldn't let him leave the house unless he wore green for St Patrick's Day today. If he had turned it down, then it wouldn't have been very sporting for the children, who found it fun to dress up for the 'holiday'.
But Pinhead was finding it hard to get into the jolly green spirit with Freddy constantly mocking him as they both walked toward the club. The Cenobite would have preferred making it to the building without bumping into any of his associates, but unfortunately for him, Freddy happened to be walking the same way.
"Oh hush! Even if my daughters were the ones who had decided to dress me up, what would be wrong with that, Frederick?" Pinhead questioned sternly.
"Oh, nothing at all. You look very...dapper. For a guy who looks like the Sadomasochist version of the Jolly Green Giant." Freddy replied sarcastically, trying to suppress his chuckles.
Not the least bit amused by Freddy's ridiculing, Pinhead decided to get his own back on the Dream Demon. "Dapper? I believe that is the most complex word I've ever heard you use."
Freddy's poker face melted away into an insulted grimace. "Hey! I can use big words if I wanted to. I'm just too lazy to use them."
"You admit to being lazy?"
"Better to be lazy than stupid in my eyes."
"It's best to be neither."
"You can't give me life lessons whilst looking like a walking tree." Freddy then jumped up and got into Pinhead's face excitedly. "Oh! Oh! I dare you to say, I am Groot!"
Pinhead was already to unleash hell on Freddy for his snide and immature comments, until they both heard the patter of small footsteps coming from behind. They turned and couldn't believe what they were seeing. As Pinhead did his best to keep a straight face, Freddy once again burst into a fit of laughter. "Hey!" he shouted out in the distance, pretending to call for someone. "Did anyone lose a cabbage-patch kid?"
"Fuck you!" Chucky spat and flipped Freddy the bird. The living doll felt humiliated whilst he was forced to walk around in a green version of his good guy doll outfit.
Freddy was having a field-day taunting his fellow club members. "You look like I could bury you in the ground and you'd grow into a flower afterwards."
"How about I bury you in the ground!?" Chucky then lunged toward Freddy, only to be halted by Pinhead's strong arms. He held the doll back, preventing him from going Mortal Kombat on Freddy. It took a moment or two before Chucky realised he couldn't break free of Pinhead's grasp and eventually calmed down. Once he did, he turned to Freddy. "How come you're not wearing green?"
Indeed, Pinhead himself was quite perplexed as to how and why Freddy was still wearing his usual attire. Then it clicked in his mind just as the burnt ex-killer spoke. "But I am wearing green...my red and green sweater!"
"Oh come on, that doesn't count!'' Chucky yelled. "You wear that pretty much every day...do you even own any other clothes?"
"At least if I wanted to, I could buy clothes that were my size and not for babies."
"Okay, that does it!'' Chucky returned to his angry, rabid-dog mode and struggled to break free from Pinhead's hold.
As Pinhead held Chucky back, he looked toward Freddy. "It was to my understanding that one was to wear all green on St Patrick's Day."
Freddy scoffed at the Cenobite's comment. "No, you just gotta wear something green. Even if it's one green sock, it counts!"
Pinhead's face scrunched up in frustration. This could so easily have been all avoided if he had just worn a simple pair of green socks, or even green boxers. Though he tried to remember if he still had the green boxers, because he knew that the last time he had worn them was when he went on a recent date with Kirsty...and let's just say that if Pinhead's alone with Kirsty, his boxers don't stay in one piece for long.
"Oh," Freddy gasped and pointed at Chucky. "Now I got it...you could be Leprechaun's long lost brother!"
"You're really pushing your luck, Pizza-face!"
"Pizza-face? Did it take you all night to come up with that one?"
"Yeah, while I was up all night with yo mama!"
"Ha, joke's on you, shorty. I don't even like my mother! Yo mama jokes have no effect on me."
"What if I said yo mama could kick your ass if she wanted to, because she told me she did once before." Chucky grinned a big Cheshire cat grin at that. Even Pinhead couldn't help but smirk a smidgen.
For the first time, Freddy's confident grin disappeared and he looked ready to step into World War 3. "You wanna go? Let's go!"
Pinhead had enough of this squabbling and decided to stop it before it was too late. He dropped Chucky to the ground and stepped in between them. "Will you both cease this pointless bickering!" He glared at both of them whilst holding them back from destroying one another.
Freddy and Chucky didn't budge another inch and kept their distance and looked downwards toward the ground. Soon enough, Chucky broke the silence and it was as if the two of them hadn't fought the other in a war of words to begin with. "Speaking of Leprechaun, I would think today is like his own Christmas."
"Or Hanukkah." Freddy put in, nodding in agreement.
"Well, he's most likely at the club right now. Probably fawning over his gold coins." Pinhead mumbled.
The three of them ventured forward, with the calm and collected Prince of Pain staying right in between Freddy and Chucky to make sure no more arguments erupted as they walked to the club.
Once they made it, they stepped inside only to find the main room empty and devoid of any life. "Looks like we're early." Freddy commented and took a further few steps inside, before reeling back when an unusual smell filled his nostrils. "Whoa, that's weird."
Noticing this, Pinhead and Chucky also took a whiff, and realised that there was some kind of stench that plagued the air around them. Inside the club, a peculiar smell drifted throughout. Not a terribly bad smell like anything rotten, but more a smell that could make eyes tearful and brains numb. "Did Miss LJ say something about getting the plumbing fixed?" Pinhead inquired.
"If she didn't, then she needs to start calling." Chucky mumbled.
"Smells like it's coming from the back." Freddy called out to the others as he tiptoed his way down the corridor, hoping to find the source of the smell.
Pinhead and Chucky followed closely behind, and as the trio got further and further down the corridor they noticed something else that baffled them. There appeared to be a thin layer of smoke coming from one of the rooms. "Is there a fire?" Freddy questioned.
"Uh oh, you don't want to get caught in that, Freddy." Chucky taunted and laughed a little at his own joke.
Freddy stared down at the cackling doll. "Say one more thing, midget boy, and I'll throw you in the fucking fire..."
"Both of you be silent!" Pinhead roared at the verbally squabbling pair.
"Don't tell me what to-" Freddy didn't even get to finish his defiant reply before being silenced by Pinhead once again.
"Sssh, do you not hear that?" the Cenobite said with a hushed voice in an attempt to get the other two to keep their voices down. Now that there was finally quiet between the three of them, they could just about hear a sound coming from inside the room. "It is like the sounds of uncontrollable laughter."
Chucky arched a stitched eyebrow. "Not the typical thing you do when in a room that's on fire."
"Indeed." Pinhead nodded.
A look of realisation suddenly formed on Freddy's face. "Unless the room isn't on fire."
"What else could it be?"
Freddy approached the door of the lounge room, reaching for the handle. "The weird smell, the smoke, and the laughter...it can only be one thing..." He quickly turned the handle and pushed the door open forcefully.
The three stepped into the smoke-filled lounge, and Pinhead could hardly believe his eyes when he saw none other than Leprechaun himself sitting by himself at a table, smoking a rather long and cumbersome joint for the mythical creature's size. His eyes were red and watery, and he had a great big stupid lop-sided smile on his face. The high Leprechaun turned toward guests and beckoned them over with a careless wave of his hand. "Ah, my wee friends come to join, perhaps to take a whiff of this, which I bought for a coin."
Freddy, Pinhead and Chucky stood motionless, bug-eyed and silent at the awkward and weird sight.
"Geez, even high he won't quit with the rhyming." Freddy mumbled to the others after a few moments of silence.
Yes, Leprechaun was getting quite high on St Patrick's Day in the lounge of the club, smoking away like he didn't have a care in the world...and even if he had of, he most likely wouldn't even remember about it by that point in time. The little green man laid back on his chair, little legs perched upon the table, and staring up at the ceiling as smoke drifted between the gaps of his small, jagged teeth. "Lads...ya...ya think there ever be space Leprechauns?"
"Space Leprechauns?"
"Aye, with an extra breast or three, and we'd sail the stars so that we may be free."
Chucky snorted. "Does that count if he makes three rhyme with free?"
"Course it does, they're different words." Freddy got out.
"But they sound like the same word. That shouldn't count!"
"But it's not the same meaning, numbnuts!"
"But it sounds so similar, it might as well be the same..."
"EXCUSE ME!" Pinhead yelled and stepped in between them once again. "I believe you are both missing the bigger picture. Leprechaun is...well, to put it quite frankly, out of it."
"And the problem is?" Freddy asked with a careless shrug.
Pinhead rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. "I don't care what he does in his spare time in his own home, but this establishment is a place not just for ourselves, but for our friends and family too. Our children visit here! Imagine if they walked in on this mess right now? Ugh. The thought of my boys and my two precious princesses inhaling that poison!" Pinhead's eyes bulged in horror at the thought.
Freddy, on the other hand, merely shrugged his shoulders. "But they're not here right now."
"That's not the..." Pinhead stopped mid-sentence, finding it difficult to find the will-power to argue with Freddy over this matter. Instead, he turned his attention to Leprechaun. "Where did you even get that stuff?"
"From me journey...through tha hood..." Leprechaun said and then laughed hysterically.
"Can't believe that was actually a thing." Chucky commented.
"Considering all we've been through, it's not that strange." Pinhead replied.
Leprechaun was oblivious to the comments made by the others and continued with his speech. ''Twas offered to me by a chap who is good. I take it to have a good time..." He stumbled over his next few words, deep in thought over what to say next. "I ain't got another rhyme." And so he inhaled deeply on the joint. His eyes went bug-eyed and his body sloughed back against the chair.
"But you did still rhyme." Pinhead pointed out.
To say things were awkward right now would be a huge understatement. Leprechaun continued to relax and giggle to his heart's content while Pinhead, Freddy and Chucky hung around shuffling and avoiding eye contact. But, the longer Chucky watched on, the more inclined he felt to join in.
He started to slowly walk forward, until Pinhead's firm hand grasped the doll's shoulder. "Charles, don't even-"
"Hey, the only way I'm going to get through the rest of today dressed like this..." Chucky gestured toward his clothes. "I'm going to need to smoke some of that!"
"Well, that thought can crawl away from your childish mind, because I will not allow you to-"
Before he could finish his sentence, Chucky gasped and pointed over Pinhead's shoulder. "Holy crap, is that Kirsty outside, skydiving in a bikini?"
"What!?" Pinhead gasped sharply and turned his head faster than lightning. It only took a split-second for him to realise he had been played like a sucker in Las Vegas, and he groaned with frustration...more so when he heard Chucky bellow a hearty laugh along with Leprechaun. "I cannot believe I fell for that."
Chucky inhaled deeply on the joint before handing it back to Leprechaun. "What do you think it would be like skydiving in a bikini?" he drawled lazily, the effects of the joint already kicking into the doll's small brain.
"Don't know, me thinks we should try it one day." Leprechaun responded.
Pinhead huffed with disappointment. "I can't believe I'm forcing myself to say this, but even Frederick here is more controlled and responsible than either of you. Isn't that right?" He turned to address Freddy...only to find he was no longer standing next to the Cenobite...
Instead...
"Ahhhh, maaaan, there's some good shit right here!"
Pinhead frowned when he turned and saw Freddy sat with the high Chucky and Leprechaun, and now drawing a long and satisfying drag from a fresh roll of marijuana, and getting just as high off the fumes.
And also spouting off ridiculous crap as the other two.
"Hey...hey...if...if either of you wanted to ride into battle but there were no horses, what would you ride? A goat or a cow?"
"This is a new low of embarrassment, even for you." Pinhead muttered, facepalming into oblivion.
"Come on dude, join the party. We're celebrating." Chucky drawled, his plastic blue eyes rolling into the back of his head in the ultimate pleasure.
"Firstly, I find this a poor way to celebrate the day of a renowned Patron Saint, and secondly, I wouldn't be caught dead smoking that repulsive stuff."
"Geez, this stuff is harmless in the long run," Freddy spoke while taking another smoke. "It doesn't hurt, it just helps you to relax for a few hours. And crave beef for some reason. I could really go with a beef burger right now." Just the thought of beef alone was enough for Freddy to start drooling.
"I don't think so," Pinhead said firmly and folded his arms across his chest.
"Live a little," Chucky called out. "One little joint won't bite."
"No," the Lead Cenobite responded stubbornly. "Nothing you can say or do will make me smoke that."
One Hour Later…
"It's weird how Xipe hasn't called me back yet." Kirsty said to Tiffany and LJ as the ladies walked through the entrance of the club. The club owner walked around to double check that everything was in place and accounted for while Kirsty continued to chat with her friend. "Usually he's good with letting me know how he's doing. I hope he hasn't been pinched to death for not wearing green."
"I thought you said he was wearing the green shirt and jeans you picked out for him?"
"He was, but I could tell he didn't like wearing it. I feel bad for making him wear it, but at the same time he looked so adorable and handsome." she smiled.
"Oh, speaking of, what do you think of my outfit?" Tiffany asked before giving a twirl, displaying her lovely-looking, though quite revealing maid outfit coloured in different traces of green, from light-lime to really dark. "I call it the Fifty shades of green!"
"Nice."
"Aren't you wearing green?"
"I am. It's just underneath my casual wear." Kirsty said, and left a hint with a teasing wink, as if giving Tiffany a clear idea of what she had on that was green. Picking up on the hint, Tiffany grinned and was about to say something else when the two heard LJ call out.
"Girls, you might want to come and look at this. I found your husbands!" the young manager said sombrely.
Kirsty and Tiffany gave each other a baffled look and headed down the corridor to where LJ was calling. A dozen thoughts flashed in their minds as to what their husbands had gotten up to this time, but nothing could have prepared them for what they were about to witness...well, Tiffany wouldn't be too surprised as this wouldn't be the first time she'd caught Chucky in a similar situation, but Kirsty on the other hand...her jaw nearly hit the floor when she saw the state that Pinhead was in.
"Whooooooooooa, chaps!" Pinhead drawled after inhaling the last remaining bit of the burnt-out joint. His blood-shot red eyes fixed on a bewildered Kirsty. "I think an angel just floated into the room."
As Kirsty looked on shocked, Tiffany leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "How is it when your husband is high he's still more romantic than most men?"
"My husband is high?" Kirsty gasped.
"I...I...I'm not high," Pinhead said with a low chuckle. "I'm on this chair right here...that's on the ground...that's on this beautiful Earth."
What followed on was Pinhead letting out a heckling laugh, and the Cenobite fell forward off his chair and then began giggling hysterically and rolling around on the floor.
Kirsty spluttered, unable to fathom the sight before her. "I can't believe this."
Her eyes were then drawn to Freddy and Chucky who were both sat next to the man she loved, who were also both high as kites, staring blankly into nothingness with vapid and vague expressions. Leprechaun, the one who started this whole mess (probably a first for him to do in this club), fiddled with a shiny, gold coin between his fingers and mumbling the lyrics off-key to a very familiar song;
"Goooold! Always believe in ya soul! Ya got the power ta know...Ya indestructible! Always believe in, because you are...GOLD!"
And Leppie wasn't the only one babbling incoherently.
"If my brain on drugs is a frying egg then that's like...fucking great." Freddy suddenly mumbled to no one in particular. "Fried eggs are delicious. I am already fried. Therefore I'm fucking delicious." To the girls' utmost horror and bemusement, the Dream Demon then attempted to gnaw on his own hand, but ended up poking his mouth with the knife claws on his glove. "Ow."
Whilst out of it and sprawled across the floor, Pinhead stared up at the ceiling with an almost contemplative stare, as contemplative as one can get whilst high. "Ugh...y-y'know what though? This is like...symbolism. The ceiling is me. Blank and...endless...and... cool and like...rrrrealllly high up. Hehhehheh!" What then followed as a slow, rather awkward and unbalanced laughter from our usually mature and sensible Cenobite Lord.
"Well, there's a sight I never thought I'd live to see." LJ commented.
"Okay, that's it!" Kirsty huffed and stormed over toward Pinhead. She grabbed his shirt and hauled him from the floor, and hoisted his arm over her shoulder before pulling him up to his feet. "I'm taking you home, and you're going to sleep this off."
"Gents, the angel is taking me to heaven.'' Pinhead whispered to his half-conscious buddies. He turned back to stare at Kirsty as she carried him out of the club. "You look like an hourglass of perfect beauty. I want to wrap you up in a cloud and eat you."
Kirsty's cheeks turned bright red at the suggestiveness of his comment, but kept a stern face. "Don't try and flirt with me now, Mister. You're in big trouble when we get home."
"There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home..." Pinhead repeated over and over again, with Tiffany and LJ still able to hear him even as Kirsty helped him out of the club and the two walked/stumbled down the street.
"I'm never going to get that image out of my head," Tiffany said and then looked at Chucky, who had for some bizarre and unknown reason decided to strip down buck plastic nude and was ever so slowly spinning around and round on his backside, humming the Batman TV theme tune. "I better get him home."
"Yeah, I'll call Ginger to come and pick up Freddy. I have a feeling those two are going to be like this for at least the rest of the day." LJ followed up before walking over to Leprechaun. "Thank your lucky four-leaf clovers that you're not married."
"I'm married to me gold coins!" Leprechaun said matter-of-factly before passing out.
Later that night...
Pinhead's eyes slowly opened. His head felt numb and his eyes were filled with tears and sleep. He rubbed them tenderly and tried to lift himself up. He soon realised he was lying on a bed...his and Kirsty's bed, and he had been stripped of his green clothing, left only in a pair of boxers. Suddenly, the memories of what had happened earlier that day washed over him.
Memories of being challenged by Frederick and Charles to prove he wasn't chicken, talking nonsense, memories of serenading Kirsty with Rick Astley songs, memories he could fly his wife to the moon and back like Superman, yet falling flat on his face like an ultimate fail when he attempted to take off...
"Oh dear Leviathan, what have I done?"
"I don't know, you tell me." Kirsty's sarcastic tone nearly made him jump out of bed. She marched into the bedroom, her arms folded and wearing her usual dressing gown.
Pinhead gulped as she sat on the edge of the bed waiting for his excuses. "Kirsty, my sweet dear, I can understand that you must be annoyed."
"You're correct to assume I'm annoyed. I can expect Freddy and Chucky to get themselves high like kites, but you? I can't believe you. I feel sorry for LJ, who's probably still trying to lift the smell from the club.''
Pinhead's face flooded with shame. "I could go over and help..."
"Don't bother," Kirsty told him. "She's already got Leprechaun helping her out." There was a brief pause. "Where did he even get the stuff from?"
"In his own words, his time in tha hood." Pinhead answered.
Kirsty shook her head in disbelief. "I still can't believe that was a thing.''
"Charles said exactly the same."
"And I bet it was Chucky and Freddy who got you to start with that?"
"You're correct to assume that." Pinhead sighed. His face turned soft. "I am sorry if I upset you in anyway..."
"Hey, I was annoyed, not upset. And you getting high isn't the end of the world," For the first time since the incident, Pinhead saw a smile on Kirsty's face. "It was actually hysterical seeing you so out of it."
"Not from my perspective. I must have been a babbling, dreary-eyed fool."
"No, in a weird way, you were still your eloquent, sweet self...except your flirting was a little cheesy." Hearing this, Pinhead dropped his head into his hands and grumbled incoherently with embarrassment. Trying to think of some way to cheer him up, Kirsty decided to play her trump card. "I see you wore the green shirt and jeans I got for you after all."
"Well, you told me to...and I could not disobey." Pinhead looked up to Kirsty and realisation hit him. "Did you wear any green?"
"I still am," Kirsty said enticingly. Pinhead stared at her with a perplexed expression, unsure of what she was hinting at. With a smile, she rose from the bed and stood up straight, before peeling her dressing gown off her shoulders and letting it fall to the ground. "Happy St. Patrick's Day." she smiled, revealing her green lingerie that complemented her beautiful, curvy body perfect.
Pinhead's heart skipped a beat and he licked his dry lips as Kirsty, wearing only a green bra and panties, advanced on him seductively. "Leprechaun was right. Today is a day were one can have the luck of the Irish.''
"You're not even Irish, Pinhead."
"I'm of British origin, so that counts-"
He was cut off as Kirsty slammed her lips against his and leaned across him.
The End!