From Loss to Love
SilverAngel45
When they took Phoebe from me it gutted a part of my soul from my being. The only thing holding me together right now is Kelly. I must be there for Kelly. I have no idea how losing Phoebe is affecting her, and so I want to be strong for her, and for well Phoebe.
I don't want Phoebe to be upset when she sees me. I want her to have a smooth transition to her new family. She was mine but, now I have to accept that she is a Logan; she's Hope's; she's Beth.
This is the second Phoebe whose death I have mourned. Kelly has lost her Phoebe the same way I lost my Phoebe. She lost her Phoebe because of a Logan, the same reason I lost my Phoebe. I will never let Kelly lose anything else due to a Logan. The cycle ends with me…
"Good morning my beautiful Princess!" I say gazing down into my daughter's big blue eyes. She reminds me so much of my grandmother, strong, bold and blonde. I should have named her Stephanie. "Today you are going to see your Daddy! Yes you are," I say, as I dress her for the day: black leggings, white tank top, white socks, white converse and a black leather jacket. My little biker chick. I spray conditioner in her hair and use the brush to smooth her hair into soft, ringlet curls.
I hear the doorbell ring and give my baby a kiss as I set her back in her crib. I run to answer the door. I open the door to see Liam. The handsome father of my child.
"Hey Steffy," he breathes as he smiles at me. He runs his hand through his hair with timid half smile. "I'm here to visit Kelly if that's okay," he says. "Why wouldn't it be?" I ask with a quizzical look on my face. "I don't know," he says unsure. "I thought you might not want to see me after everything…" he trails off looking down.
"Liam its fine; its not your fault," I say ushering him inside. I motion for him to sit down on the couch. "I did want to discuss something with you though. We move to sit down on the couch. "Okay," he says looking like a scorned child.
"Liam, I understand how overjoyed you must have felt to learn that Beth was alive. I completely get why you'd rush to tell Hope. What I don't understand is how you could bring Hope in my home and walk out with my daughter without a care for your child, Kelly, or me, the woman you claim to love. I also don't get why I am surprised; you seem to think that I am not worthy of the consideration you show Hope. The crazy part is that now, it seems to extend to your daughter, Kelly, as well.
While I was pregnant, you were angry at me. I completely deserved it, but you were cruel to me and it didn't seem to matter to you how it affected Kelly. After I gave birth the Kelly, you decided working with Hope was more important than being here with your fiancé and your daughter. You found out about Beth and your family with Hope was more important to your than our family with Kelly. So much so that you cheated on me, in my own family company no less.
I let you be a father to Phoebe when you lost Beth. Something you said you wanted to do. I was thoughtful and I was kind, because of that you didn't miss a beat in Beth's life. I invited you to stay in my home when Hope tossed you out like trash. I shared a bed with you when you desired me, and I let you build a family with us despite my better judgement. Then you come into my home, that I bought for OUR daughter, you take Phoebe with ZERO regard for the effect it will have on EITHER of daughters or me. You walk out of here like its nothing with no conversation and no thought for BOTH of your daughters.
I have let you treat me like trash, because on many levels I thought I deserved it. I tricked you, I seduced you, I cheated on you. Now I realize that I made mistakes, but so have you. I don't deserve this treatment, because Liam, you gave as good as you got. Kelly has never done anything to you, but love you and SHE DOES NOT DESERVE IT. She deserves better.
I must set boundaries for Kelly. We are going to create a schedule when you can visit with her. You will no longer show up unannounced or dismiss my nanny without my permission. The same rules apply to Hope and Brooke. I also think its best that you take Kelly to spend time with Beth during your visits. If I ever observe Hope or Brooke treating Kelly ANY WAY that I feel makes her uncomfortable, that's it. No more visits.
You will not call me to ask about Beth. I am not emotionally ready to deal with that. You lived here with Beth and you too chose to take her out of here, so you will deal with things on your own. I don't hold anything against Beth, I love her, and I still feel she's my daughter. I need time to heal and accept things as they are. I don't want Beth at Forrester, arrange for a nanny or work from home.
That photo of us is coming down. I don't see you displaying one at the cabin, and it took this for me to realize it's a sham. We will be cordial, but I am no longer bending over backwards for you and Hope. You and I are no longer best friends. We are co-parents.
One more thing. Brooke is not allowed anywhere near Kelly. She tried to kill my brother; I don't care how you feel about him. It's Kelly's uncle. Don't say anything bad about him in front of Kelly, that goes for Hope too. If you want to visit with Kelly it will not be anywhere near Brooke or her home. Take the girls to Wyatt's, Bill's or a public place. If you can't deal with that no visit."
"Steffy, I understand. I think it's a bit extreme, but I get it. It wasn't my intention to treat Kell or you badly. I don't feel like I did. I don't think there was a right way to do it. You would have been hurt any way I did it," Liam started.
"Liam let me stop you right there. There was a right way to do it. Its called communication. You could have called me or texted me. You could have not brought Hope to my home without me being there. You could have not let Hope demand taking my child out of my home five seconds after I got there, since you guys had so much more time than me to process and discuss. Also you could have done a DNA test first."
"Steffy…" I gave Liam a look that conveyed my feelings, dark and dangerous. I got up and took our picture off the wall. I threw it into the fireplace and lit a match. I watched it burn. Then looked over to meet his eyes that showed understanding.
"I'm going to go in and visit with Kelly if that's okay. I don't have a place to take her and Beth yet…" "That's fine," I responded. "I'm going out. I'll be back in an hour. I'll e-mail you the proposed schedule. Let me know of any conflicts and we can work it out. I will let Amelia know the schedule as well. If you like she has agreed to be available to help with visits or bring Kelly to meet you."
I sauntered over to the garage, in my outfit that matched my daughters, with the exception of my brown biker boots and matching jacket. Flipping my curls over my shoulders, I pulled the cover off of my motorcycle. All black with black roses decals. She was beauty, my newest love. I hopped on the bike flipped up the stand and revved the engine. I sped of towards the Malibu pier.
Normally I'd head to Bikini, but I didn't want to see anyone familiar. I pulled up to a lounge called Goddess. It was beautifully decorated with blue velvet seats with silver trim and gold pillows. Glass mercury balls hang from the ceiling illuminating the room with a soft glow. I grabbed a couch and threw my feet up on the glass coffee table.
I turned to see Sally walking in. Perfect timing. She saw me and headed over; sitting down beside me giving me a hug. "How's Thomas doing lady?" she asked. "He's still in a coma… I know he'll be alright. He's a Forrester. We survive all kinds of things. No push off the cliff is going to stop him." Sally agreed nodding her head. We ordered our drinks; a rum and coke for me and a peach Bellini for Sal.
"So, I think Wyatt and I maybe getting back together. He apologized for being too harsh and obviously broke up with Flo." My drink arrived just in time for me to take a long deep swig, as I gave Sally a funny look over the top of my drink. "I know what you're thinking," she continued. "Why in the hell would I do that. He dumped me like trash, but I did make a mistake lying to him. Honestly, I think I was still wondering what could be with Thomas. I needed more time to get over him. Something was..." she paused looking at me, "Different about Thomas." "It's okay Salz, I know Thomas has been, quite out of character lately. I mean Hope is not really his type. On top of that usual nothing means more to him that Douglas, that's why you guys didn't work out the first time around. Well that and the lie about Caroline dying which turned out to be true. Again I'm sorry," I said giving her an apologetic look. She gave me squinty eyes then replied, "You're lucky I love you now girl. Besides Thomas needed to leave so I could grow my wings at Forrester with you. I traded him in for the better Forrester, you!" We hugged and continued our girl chat.
About an hour later I saw him walk in the room. My breath caught in my throat and Sally's voice became a distant thought. She turned head towards him as well and began to whistle. He strode over to my table in form fitting jeans and cotton grey T-shirt with black trim. He wore matching grey Nike Vapormax sneakers. His black hair glistened in the light. He stubble drawing attention to his perfect red pout. He smiled at me, "Nice to see you again Steffy, Sally."