Summary: Series of related oneshots. Lists of things that the Legends have forbidden each other from doing. Based on early Season 4. Meant for comedic purposes. Inspired by Forbidden by Mendeia
Rory considered his room a safe place. Understandably, he was not happy when he found a sheet of paper decorated with the neat, uniform handwriting of Ava Sharp slipped under his door when he woke up one morning.
Dear Mick,
I personally see you as a hazard to your team and a weak link in the team's ability to work together but your captain argues that you are a valued and essential member of the Legends. Still, there can be improvements. I have interviewed several Legends, those who live on and off the Waverider, for their input on what rules should be established regarding your behavior on and off mission.
A low growl rumbled in the back of Rory's throat as he flipped the sheet over.
Rules: Mick Rory (Heatwave)
No giving Zari pork. She does not care that you eat it but don't throw it at her. If you do not understand either of the previous statements, ask literally anyone for help.
No Garmina. Not even in your imagination unless you're in your room.
Do laundry on your specified day, not Ray's. They have a schedule for a reason.
No bringing rats home. Keeping Axl was enough.
No putting the rats in the refrigerator. Especially a closed refrigerator. They die because they can't breathe, not because they were starving and couldn't eat fast enough.
Toilet paper goes over. You're the only one that thinks it should go under. Garmina doesn't count.
Go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
The TV is a shared appliance. The Waverider has a DVR set to record 2018's football games. Let others use it once in awhile.
No leaving your clothes on the floor for days after you take a shower. The bathroom is a shared space.
No shattering beer bottles (Nate is a hemophiliac and likes to walk around with bare feet. You could kill him).
No throwing things at Nate to get him to steel up. He is not a mirror.
No robbing parties on missions. You have no need for money and nowhere to put the things you take.
No leaving traps in your room. Just ask people not to come in or leave a note.
Clean up the kitchen when you leave. It looks like a tornado swept through it when you walk out.
Zari, Ray, and Nate's comics are off limits. (They know when you take them because you always return them to the wrong person).
Washing your lucky socks does not wash out the luck. Wash your socks. Scratch that, get new ones.
No drinking from 2 am-4pm. (This is very lenient. Please respect it).
Constantine's potions are magic, not alcohol. (I should not have to tell you this).
No challenging Charlie or Constantine to drinking games. No drinking games with them period. You are no lightweight but they are magical beings. They will always win.
No playing with lighters or matches on the ship. I know you've gotten your pyromaniac urges under control but there is still a sprinkler system on board. Constantine has admitted to setting it off a few times but Sarah and Ray are convinced it's you and have tried to remove it. This is a safety hazard.
No cutting your toenails over the toilet. They never land in the toilet and everyone ends up stepping on them when they need to go.
No quoting "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid."
No using your heat gun to light Ray's candles. It melts them and they're too small of a target.
No asking your crewmates personal questions to clear your writer's block.
Stop throwing away or removing the labels of other people's bathroom products, specifically the ones for women. Them being in your presence does not remove or insult your manliness/ masculinity. (You write romance books. If your teammates were to judge you, they would judge you on that).
If you must give people nicknames, insulting ones can only be temporary.
No aiming your gun at people when you're mad. Even if you're not going to shoot, it scares them.
Knock on closed doors always. Especially the bathroom.
Clean your room at least twice a year. Ask someone to dust for you. And ask Ray to disinfect everything.
Apologize.
Brush at least once a day and floss at least every other day. This is far less than how much you're supposed to do, I am being lenient. Your breath is a weapon and not in a good way.
Flush the toilet. Charlie once thought one of your dumps was alive. (Again, I shouldn't have to tell you this).
No writing in the bathroom. It is a shared space and you take too long.
Toilet seat down (everyone agreed on this, even Constantine).
No leaving half eaten food in the kitchen.
No talking with your mouth full.
No making fun of Nate's hemophilia, Ava's past, or Constantine's accent.
Mumbling is never the correct answer to a question.
Rory snorted before chuckling lowly, eyes flickering over the list once more. "I know exactly who needs one of these."
Author's Note: Suggestions for Ray, Zari, Constantine, Charlie, Nate, Gary, Mona, the Legends as a whole, and Sarah are welcome.