INTERVIEW WITH THE MOCKINGJAY – Chapter 39
The afternoon sun is slanting through the windows of Meredith's house, illuminating the living room I am using as a temporary office. I have set up my computer at a spare desk and am typing up my notes for the big story on Katniss and a smaller story for tomorrow's paper on District 12's coalmines.
Everyone here is right – the mines are unsafe. I have asked senior managers if strip-mining would improve the situation, and the managers have given me sardonic expressions. Most of the coal from these seams has been mined already. They have no choice but to dig as deep as possible in a style they describe as "centuries-old."
Today I have journeyed to the bottom of one such seam, a series of narrow, dark, sweltering tunnels where miners battle intense heat and hard walls to remove coal, which they put in wheelbarrows to go to little coal cars on little train tracks to elevators and up to the surface. More workers sort the coal properly at the tips, loading them on hoppers into coal freight cars to go to the Capitol and other Districts.
"You would think that there'd be less demand for coal now that the war is over," I say to a supervisor, a bewhiskered man who is a mass of muscle from years of mining. His nametag reads Ed Talmadge.
"Not on your life," Talmadge says, in the typical District 12 drawl. "There are fewer people in the Capitol now, we have to provide coal to all the Districts, to make up for the fuel shortages they suffered under the dictatorship. Until they get alternative power sources in place, we're working flat out. We have to fuel 13 Districts and the Capitol."
I nod in understanding. "What are you doing to reduce the stress on the miners?" I ask.
"Well, obviously they're getting more pay, new housing, and a comprehensive medical plan, which includes heavy emphasis on black lung and other mining-related illnesses. We have a very intense safety program, complete with regular drills," Talmadge says, as we walk through the shaft.
"But our main concern is on the job. We have clean showers up top and buffet food available. We rotate the miners in and out every half hour," Talmadge tells me. "In six or seven separate teams. Otherwise they'd pass out from exhaustion." He taps at a safety fat lamp hanging from a shoring member. "It's working properly." He pauses. "Mining coal is a calling, not a job," he adds.
It makes me realizes how just how difficult it must have been for Katniss's father, who had to work eight-to-13 hour shifts in the mines under the previous regime.
"Did you know Katniss's father?" I ask. "This isn't for the story."
"Yeah," Talmadge says. "Good guy. He used to sing down in the mines. Loved his kids. Damn shame what happened to him."
"My father was a Head Peacekeeper here," I hear myself saying. "Did you know my father?"
"Edison Albright?" Talmadge answers, chilly. "Yeah. I knew him. He's your father?"
"Yes," I answer. "You can speak freely. I'm not going to write about it. And I know about Peacekeepers and what they really did."
"Then I can tell you he was a fucking asshole," Talmadge says. "He came here and said, 'I have orders to speed things up. The Capitol needs coal.' So we speed things up. But there's a problem with trying to speed things up and cut corners in a 300-year-old coal mine."
"Which is?" I ask.
"You speed things up in a 300-year-old coal mine that hasn't been properly firmed up or inspected in 250 years, and things go boom. Miners died," Talmadge says.
"And I guess that includes Katniss's father."
Talmadge nods somberly. "And a lot of other guys. So I say 'Fuck Edison Albright and the horse he rode in on.'"
"I'm truly sorry," I say. "If it's any consolation, I fought in the resistance to overthrow the government."
Talmadge nods. Nothing more is said on this subject.
Now I am putting this into a story when Meredith enters the house, wearing her official business one-piece dress. She places a stack of official material – papers, briefing documents, and computer drives – on her own desk.
I rise from my computer, throw my arms around her, and share a long, intense kiss.
"Good evening, fair man," she says.
"Good evening, dark lady," I respond.
She sniffs the air. "Are you making dinner?"
I nod toward the kitchen. "Chicken Parmigiana. Heating up in the oven. It'll be ready in 40 minutes. But I'd like to cook up the stuff you grew up with, not just the stuff I like," I say.
Meredith nods toward the kitchen herself. "Someone gave me an African-American cookbook from a couple of centuries ago. Have fun," she says. "I like sweet potato pie."
"I'll make it whenever you want," I answer.
"Good to know," she says. "You are definitely saving me sweat. You can do the cooking in our house. But we'll have to get someone to do the cleaning."
"I have a maid who comes in twice a week, Calpurnia, whose cost comes out of my rent," I say. "The building has concierge service for tenants. They take care of your laundry, order food, even whistle up a taxi if you need it."
"That's a privileged life," Meredith says.
"Well, when you work 15-hour days, you need it," I say. "I only moved in two months ago. And don't be so impressed by the cleaning lady. Calpurnia has half a dozen clients in my building alone. She used to be one of Panem's biggest society figures. She lost everything in the war, so now she has to hire herself out as a house cleaner. It must be pretty annoying for her."
"There are worse fates for those people," Meredith says. "She could get whipped in the stocks, or sent into the Arena. Instead, she just has to do some honest work every day."
Meredith turns around. "Do me a favor and unzip me."
I reach for the zipper on the back of her dress and pull it down, so she can step out of it. "Yes, you can unhook the bra, too, but don't get any ideas right now. I just want to get comfortable."
"With pleasure," I say, doing so, snapping off the hasps.
Meredith picks up her dress from the floor, and strides to the bedroom. She emerges a few minutes later, wearing t-shirt and shorts. I grin. "Aw, nuts," I say. "I was so excited."
"Later," she says briskly. "I still have work to do. I'm just tired of the formality." She sits down at her desk and lights up her computer.
I saunter over to her. "What have you got?" I ask.
"Expenses from the siege. Overtime, fuel, ammunition, damage to the bridge – I have to file for it and get reimbursed," she says. "It's going to take a while. This is just the start of it."
I can tell that she's all business right now. Even so, I move in and give her a long, passionate kiss, which she eagerly returns.
"Well, I have to finish my story, too," I say.
She looks up at me, thoughtful. "You know, even though this is hardly a moment for romance, it feels so…so right," Meredith says.
"Yes, it does," I say.
Much later, we are lying naked in bed, guttering candles flickering, Meredith's hair strewn around her face on the pillow, our bodies spent, and a pleasing odor of intense sex competing with that of the candles.
"This feels right, too, fair man," Meredith says, rolling over to face me, cupping my cheek in her left hand.
"It sure does, dark lady," I say.
There is a long silence in the room. We are both emotionally and physically satisfied from our latest round of love-making, but there's more to it than that.
Meredith finally breaks it. "So where are we going to live, once we're married?"
"I figured we'd get a big house in the Capitol. There are plenty of them," I say. "They're actually going pretty cheaply because so many are abandoned."
"And what would I do?" Meredith responds. "I don't want to just be 'Mrs. Albright,' in charge of cooking, cleaning, and child-raising. I've run two whole Districts. I can run a large business."
"No reason you can't," I say. "We'll use my paper's connections to find you a job fitting your skill sets. Ever since the old government collapsed, there have been all kinds of start-ups and existing businesses and corporations that need expertise with a lot of issues."
"Even with the garbage Cassius Gray has said about me?" Meredith strokes my hip idly. "Who are they going to believe, me or him? He's a war hero and I'm a common thief."
"Once we nail and expose Gray and his thievery, you'll be cleared. You'll be his victim. There'll be no question of your honesty."
Meredith remains silent, still stroking my hip.
I realize what she isn't saying.
"This is about your family, isn't it?" I finally say. "Nobody there to walk you down the aisle. Nobody there to cheer."
She sighs. "They hang up on me when I call them," she responds at last. "I can't understand it. I've given up on trying to reach out to them. It's like they've rejected me."
I never had to deal with that. My family was there, even if it was in slightly diminishing numbers due to various deaths. When Mom passed away, there were plenty of mourners at her funeral, including a collection of Peacekeepers. After that, the bond between Dad and me was tightened because we had to fill all kinds of gaps for each other. It's inconceivable that we could be driven apart by external forces.
"There's only one way to deal with this," I say. "We have to both go to District 11 and face your family."
"We?" Meredith asks, rising up, leaning on her elbow, and looking shocked. Her left breast emerges from under the blanket, baring her cherry-red nipple, but under the gravity of the situation, neither of us are aroused.
"Yeah. 'We.' I'm about to become your family's son-in-law and brother-in-law. I should be involved in this. I have a stake here. It's not just your life or my life any more. We're in this together."
Meredith takes a few moments to take that in. She stops stroking my hip, clearly thinking about it. Then she smiles, leans forward, kisses me on the lips, and says, "Okay, fair man, that's what we'll do."
"As soon as possible, dark lady."
"Don't send me down to that fucking coal mine again," Archer says as we meet up the following morning for the next interview with Katniss. "I think I lost 30 pounds in sweat. It's too fucking hot down there."
"Altman told me your pictures and video were great, though," I respond. "Really caught the hellish world of the mines and the resilience of the workers."
"When did he say that?" Archer retorts.
"Altman himself when he called this morning."
"He didn't call me," Archer mutters.
"Maybe if you didn't turn your phone off while you're entertaining some girl, you'd get the call," I say.
"What can I tell you," Archer says. "The local talent here is frisky. As soon as they hear I'm a newspaper photographer, they all think I can make them a supermodel."
"What's a supermodel?" Meredith asks.
"We got women in the Capitol who model new clothing designs and get paid a lot of money for doing so," I say. "They're becoming famous."
"Yeah, I spend a lot of time covering these fashion displays," Archer says. "They walk down a runway in front of a whole bunch of fashion experts, media, and celebrities. We do stories about the designs, and fashion magazines do even bigger stories."
"Some of these models have developed quite a following, and they are getting called 'supermodels,' and everything they do is getting coverage. They go dancing with a boyfriend at a nightclub, and next day, photos of the supermodel and her boyfriend are in the paper," I say.
"Come to think of it, I now remember the term. I knew about the models' personal lives from those magazine interviews, but how do their personal lives get into them in the first place?" Meredith says.
"It's not as hard as it may seem," I say. "Some free-lance photographers follow these women around on motorcycles with photographers on the back. But when they go to nightclubs and restaurants, the owner phones it in to our 'Celebrities in the News' desk, and sometimes with a photo. Then we publish the photo and a caption, and make sure to mention the name of the nightclub or the restaurant. It gets the restaurant free publicity," I say. "People will go there, hoping to see and be seen with some famous person."
"Sometimes we pay these owners for a tip," Archer says casually.
Meredith and I look at him in some shock.
"What? Our competitors do the same for this stuff. It's harmless." Archer says, sounding annoyed.
"We don't pay for any kind of news on our side of the newsroom," I say. "This is the first I've heard of this. If I paid a prosecutor, a cop, or a government official, or even a criminal, for information, I could get fired."
"Sounds like a serious conflict of interest to me," Meredith says.
"Take it up with the editors," Archer says, shrugging. "All I know is, I go to some chow house, take a shot of some clothes hanger and her boy toy eating noodles, pay the owner some money, and next day, it's in the paper."
"What's in the paper?" asks a female voice.
We have reached Katniss's home, and she is being warmer now, greeting us at the door like we are old friends.
"Nothing about you, yet," I say. "We're talking about how we cover less important celebrities."
"A less important celebrity," Katniss says. "I don't get that one."
I shrug. "I'll explain it."
We take thick chairs in Katniss's living room, with the usual rolls and butter standing by. As Archer sets up his camera gear, I say to Katniss, "We do a good deal of coverage of fashion models in the Capitol, especially the more famous ones. It's for the daily gossip column. It covers what the famous do to provide readers with the vicarious glamor they lack in their lives."
Katniss and Peeta look at each other and shake their heads. "The Capitol is still all about glamor," Peeta says.
"To some degree," I say. "I guess the bosses think it provides entertainment and relief from all the stress and bad news on the cover."
Archer has his gear ready.
"Why don't we get started," I say. "We were at – well, you were conked out in that cave."
"I was dreaming that I was at home, and my mother was waking me up. Only she wasn't – I was lying next to Peeta, and while I was freezing in the cave, I was glad to see him," Katniss says.
"When I woke up she was lying next to me in a scary pool of her own blood, so I wrapped her in a bandage," he says.
"How about your leg issue," I ask Peeta.
"That injection did the trick," he says. "But I ate three pieces of groosling before I realized it would have to last. I told Katniss I'd take care of her for a while."
"And he did," Katniss picks up. "Fed me bites of groosling and raisins and fed me water. He warmed my feet, put my jacket around them and tucked the sleeping bag up around my chin. My boots and socks were still damp."
"Well, they were not going to help much. It was thunder and lightning out there," I say.
"I built a canopy over Katniss's head by wedging plastic into the rocks over her," Peeta says. "I was wondering why the Gamemakers found it necessary to throw a thunderstorm at us."
"It adds to the drama," Meredith says.
"Yes, but why did they have to add to the drama?" Peeta says. "Wasn't it dramatic enough already?"
"The numbers of Tributes were dropping down," I say. "The Games were building up to the finale, and the Gamemakers wanted to set the tone. Go on."
"I asked Katniss what happened at this 'feast' and to the other surviving Tributes. I knew Clove was dead, but that was not all that happened," Peeta says.
"I told him," Katniss says. "I felt sick about that battle. And Thresh paying off a debt to Rue. It was like I could never seem to get over owing Peeta for that bread."
"And I told her we can let that go. She'd just brought me back from the dead," Peeta picks up.
"And he didn't know me, we'd never spoken, and it's the first gift that's hard to pay back," Katniss says.
"And meanwhile you guys had two other problems," I say, pointing my pen at the couple. "Cato and Thresh were still out there."
"I was upset by that…Thresh would have been a good friend to us in District 12," Katniss says.
"No question on that," Meredith says. "He would been very popular in a positive way."
"So all we could hope for was that Cato killed him," Peeta says, "So that we wouldn't have to do it ourselves."
"Did you think that way?" I ask Katniss.
"I didn't want anyone else to die," Katniss says. "But I couldn't say that to Peeta, so I just told him that I wanted to go home."
"I did, too," Peeta says. "But I couldn't admit that. So I just said we'd be home before we'd know it.
It rained all that day, Peeta tells me. Katniss conked out from fatigue, while he moved around broth pots and the like to deflect the downpour from her.
"It was evening when I woke Katniss," Peeta says. "We were famished. The groosling was getting old. It was time to finish it off before it went bad. The next day, we'd need to hunt."
"Which means Katniss kills and you cook," I respond.
"I was kind of wishing they had a bread bush out there," Peeta says.
That provides us with a chuckle.
"What was going on with Thresh and Cato?" Katniss asks.
"Chasing each other outside of our view," Peeta says. "In high grass. They had to fight quicksand and rabid animals as much as each other."
"Him saying that reminded me of the warnings we would get about going beyond the fence back home," Katniss says. "Gale would go into that field to find food and question everything. Peeta, growing up with the smell of bread, would not. But I realized that neither of them were cowards. But I wondered what Peeta would think about the irreverent banter that passed between me and Gale every day."
"So what did you tell him," I ask.
"I said that maybe there was a bread bush in that field, which is why Thresh looked better fed now," Katniss says.
"I said he probably had generous sponsors," Peeta says.
"Not from our District," Meredith says. "It was a mess by then. We were in an increasing rebellion. They probably came from the Capitol."
Archer nods in agreement. "You two were pretty popular in the late innings."
I sigh. "Dare I ask what the term 'late innings' means?" I ask.
"Sometime I'll take you to a baseball game," Archer says. "They're starting up a new league, with teams in each District and two in the Capitol."
"I'll look into it," I say, irritated. "Anyway, now you had to figure out your next steps."
"Well, I had realized that one kiss equals one pot of broth," Katniss says. "But if I said that aloud, the audience would realize the romance was a fake. So I had to get things back on track with something simple."
"That's where you took his hand," I say, "and told Peeta that Haymitch used up a lot of resources to knock you out."
"I told Katniss not to do that again. The problem was that we were both still alive. Which reinforced the idea I her mind that she did the right thing," Peeta says.
"I did do the right thing," Katniss says.
"I was very upset by that…I didn't want her dying for me. She wouldn't be doing me any favors," Peeta says.
"I asked him if maybe I was doing it for myself…I realized I was fumbling. I didn't want to lose the boy with the bread. I wanted to pull the shutters closed and block this moment out from the Panem audience," Katniss says.
I think that for a moment they are like some of the married couples I know, even though they are just barely out of their teenage years. Finishing each other's sentences. Seeking privacy for arguments. Discussing the big issues. I shoot Meredith a look and she returns it. Something we have to be ready for, we both know. But we have an advantage…we're in our 30s.
"I realized what was going on, and that I would have to fill in the blanks myself," Peeta says.
We all know what happened next. The whole nation saw Peeta moving in and kissing Katniss on the lips with passion.
"I felt stirring inside my chest," Katniss says. "Warm and curious. The first time ever. It was the first kiss that made me want another."
I'm reminded of my first kiss with Meredith. It feels like decades ago. "I know how you feel," Meredith says, picking up my thoughts.
"I wanted a second kiss, but didn't get it," Katniss says. "We were both exhausted, hurt, and cold. But I insisted on taking the first watch."
"I wouldn't agree unless Katniss was in the sleeping bag, too," Peeta says. "so we did."
"He pulled my head down to use his arm as a pillow and the other rested protectively over me when he went to sleep. No one had held me like that in a long time. After my father died and I lost trust in my mother, no one else's arms made me feel this safe," Katniss says.
"I think we both had a little of that," Meredith says, looking at me. I nod. I lost my mother and my great CO, Meredith lost her whole family…but we found each other.
"Then what," I ask.
"After three hours of watching water splatter on the floor," Katniss says, "I drifted off. Then I woke up. I had to wake Peeta up because I couldn't keep my eyes open."
"I didn't mind," Peeta says.
"I told him next day we'd find some trees to hide in so that Thresh and Cato couldn't attack us," Katniss says, matching her boyfriend line for line. "But next day the weather only got worse. Heavier thunderstorms that seemed to shake the ground."
"I wanted to go out and find some food…" Peeta says.
"…But I told him not to go…in that rain he wouldn't see three feet in front of his face, and would just get soaked to the skin. So we lay there, getting hungry. We just hoped Haymitch could come up with some sponsors," Katniss says.
I look at Archer. "Well, with four Tributes left, and the possibility of two of them being able to go home together, the whole Capitol was watching the show. The odds were shifting every minute, people were making all kinds of bets, it was incredible. But I have to tell you, it was not exactly riveting drama," he says.
"We were starving, weak from injuries, and trying not to reopen wounds," Katniss says. "All we did was nap.
"I think they wanted us to ramp up the romance," she adds.
"Definitely," Archer says. "I was in a bar, watching this, and some really drunk woman got up and yelled at the TV, 'Suck his cock, Katniss! You'll get more sponsors!'
"And some guy who was also really drunk yelled back, 'She doesn't know how!' And everybody started laughing."
There is a long silence in the room, broken only by a collection of geese who take to the air, honking with their own echoing laughter. The old Capitol was a morally ugly place from its people before the war, I think. Now it's just a mostly physically ugly place after the war.
"I tried to figure out what to do," Katniss says. "There were girls my age in the Seam and merchant girls in my District who knew what to do in these situations, but I'd never had time or much use for it. Gale was my hunting buddy. I had no idea what do."
"They were expecting Katniss and Peeta to become exciting lovers when they didn't know how to do it," Meredith says. "Look, let me say something here," and she points at Archer's camera, "and this is not for the story or the record, but when Katniss and Peeta moved in together, they had no idea what to do."
I'm puzzled for a couple of moments. What to do? Then it hits me. I turn on Archer. He is showing the trace of a leer. "Wipe that off your face," I say. "This isn't funny. There was a story a week ago by our health reporter about a study on population issues that showed that there are many couples throughout the Districts who have never had children, don't know why, and were still virgins…three years after taking their vows."
Archer's leer disappears. He lets out a shocked whistle. Obviously he doesn't read some of our news sections. Certainly not health.
"I taught them how to do it," Meredith says coolly. "I explained it. And while it wasn't salacious, I don't want to share the details."
"And I don't want to know and we're not going to publish the details," I say. "But what did you do in the sleeping bag?"
"I decided the best idea was to get Peeta talking," Katniss says. "I asked him when his crush on me started."
"First day of school," Peeta says, showing some pride.
"Really?" I gasp. "I had no idea."
"It wasn't recorded by the cameras," Archer says. "Despite the microphones, it was drowned out by the rain. All we heard was a downpour."
"What happened?" I ask.
"We were five. Katniss had on a red plaid dress and her hair was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed her out and said, 'See that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner,'" Peeta says.
"I thought he was making it up," Katniss says. "But it was a true story."
"I said to Dad, 'Why did she want a coal miner if she could've had you?' And he said, 'When he sings…even the birds stop to listen,'" Peeta says.
"Wow," Archer says.
"Astonishing," Meredith says.
I scribble notes. "Did they?" I ask Katniss.
She nods. "Yes. They did. I remember it, even though I didn't have much interest in music back then. I think that was because music reminded me of my father…after he died."
"So when we had music assembly that morning, the teacher asked who could sing the valley song. Katniss's hand shot right up in the air. The teacher put her on a stool and she sang it for us," Peeta said. "And every bird outside the windows shut up."
I'll change that to "fell silent" in the quote, I think, because that's what happened. I'll edit Katniss's quotes, but run them by her before I file the story.
"I couldn't believe it," Katniss says. "Then or when he told me."
"It happened," Peeta says. And I knew – just like your mother – I was a goner. So I spent the next 11 years trying to work up the nerve to talk to you."
"Without success," I say.
"That's what I said at the time," Katniss says.
"So, in a way, my being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck," Peeta says.
"How did you feel," I ask Katniss, knowing that the question is kind of stupid.
"I was foolishly happy and then confused. Because we were supposed to be making this stuff up to get home alive, not really be in love. I did remember some of it…my father and the birds…singing on that first day of school, but not remembering the song…and that red plaid dress," she says.
"What became of it," I ask.
"Handed down to Prim, and it got washed to rags after my father died," Katniss responds.
More geese fly by. This must be a permanent party, I think. Gaggles that never migrate.
"That explained another thing, too," Katniss says. "Why Peeta took that beating to give me bread that day. I told him he had a remarkable memory."
"I remember everything about her…well, remembered it at that time. We know what happened after that," Peeta says. "Katniss was the one who wasn't paying attention."
"I said to Peeta, 'I am now,'" Katniss continues.
"And I told her, 'Well, I don't have too much competition here.'" Peeta continues.
"That made me want to close the shutters again, and then I heard Haymitch yell at me in my head, yelling, 'Say it! Say it!' So I did." Katniss connects.
"And this everybody heard," Archer says. "And saw. You leaned over and said, 'You don't have much competition anywhere,' and kissed him."
"Which did it," I say. "A second later, you got a silver parachute with a basket."
"I could hear Haymitch's voice saying, 'That's what I'm looking for, sweetheart.'"
"When I heard the clunk, I thought it was Thresh or Cato," Katniss says.
"I just let out a whoop," Peeta says.
We know what it was…a basket containing a fest of fresh rolls, goat cheese, apples, and a tureen of lamb stew on wild rice.
"It was exactly the meal I told Caesar Flickerman was the most impressive thing the Capitol had to offer," Katniss says.
"I guessed that Haymitch got tired of watching us starve," Peeta says.
"You didn't eat it all at once," I observe. "That was good thinking, actually. Otherwise you'd just vomit the whole lot up. That was actually a problem we had with our soldiers once we liberated Peacekeeper food stocks. They had eaten limited diets all their lives, so they fell upon these stocks like wolves. Half an hour later, they were barfing their guts out. We'd have to tell them to go easy and eat the food slowly so as not to overstrain their stomachs."
"We ate spoonfuls of stew and then decided to wait an hour for eating more," Katniss says. "While we waited, we realized we were probably on camera and audio, so we had to add more to the act. I asked Peeta if he'd ever noticed any other girls."
"I noticed just about every girl, but none of them made a lasting impression but Katniss," Peeta says, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.
"I told him that would thrill his parents, him liking a girl from the Seam," Katniss says, the sarcasm clear in her voice.
"And I told him they wouldn't be thrilled but I didn't care. Besides, if we made it back, we'd live in the Victor's Village, where only one house was occupied, and most have never been lived in at all," Peeta says.
Twelve fine houses, of course. Truthfully, a neighborhood of cobwebs, I think.
"If they ever hooked up the water in some, it would be a lot of burst pipes," Meredith says.
"We talked for a little bit about whether or not Haymitch hated or liked me," Katniss says, with a slight laugh. We decided that Cinna liked me and Haymitch hated the both of us. We thought he'd be doing interviews about us."
"He did a few," Archer says.
"Telling lies?" Peeta asks.
"Sticking to the story," Archer responds, with a shrug. "What the fuck else was he going to say?"
Katniss shakes her head. "We wondered how Haymitch won his games. He wasn't a physical wonder, he wasn't handsome, and he was surly, so we couldn't imagine him gaining sponsors or allies. We figured he just outsmarted all the others."
"You found that out later," I say.
"That's right," Katniss says.
"So we'll cover your reactions when we get to that – stay in chronological order," I answer. "Besides, I've got the tapes and disks of his appearance."
"You know, one thing that got me…I was secretly wondering how he became a perpetual drunk. He couldn't always have been smashed," Katniss says. "He mentored kids every year."
"And watched them die," Meredith says. "That had to hit him hard."
"I thought about that," Katniss answers. "I realized that if I won, I'd spend my life mentoring the girl from District 12, and watching her die."
"Must have been a pretty repellent idea," I say. "Training a kid to be a Tribute and seeing her get killed in a matter of hours or even minutes in the Arena in the most appalling way imaginable."
"I put it out of my mind," Katniss says, looking away from me.
"You don't have to be a Mentor now," I say. "That's all gone. Nobody can make you do that any more."
There's another silence in the room. I break it. "How about some lunch?" I ask.
The bakery has turned up the usual trumps, and there is an ample supply of cold cuts, fruit, and bread for us. We all repair to the dining room table, and start digging in from the buffet prepared by the servants.
"I'm still not used to this," Katniss says, as she selects ham, cheese, and Peeta's bread from trays at the center of the table. "I have folks on the District's payroll who do our laundry, cook our food, and clean our house. There's a washer and dryer in the basement, a fully equipped kitchen, a bathroom like the one on that train, central air-conditioning, and even a swimming pool."
"Yeah, but all the Victor's Village houses have those facilities," Archer says.
"And I'm still used to living in a shack in the Seam," Katniss says.
"I'm still used to living in a house that had brick walls…but winter wind would go right through cracks in the bricks, and my family yelling at me," Peeta adds.
He has a different problem from me, but a similar one to Meredith, I think…his mother seemed to dislike him for his basic decency. Meredith's family is disconnected from her for reasons I can't fathom.
"On my first night here," Katniss says, "I tried to sleep in my bed, and I couldn't. It was too soft. I slept on the carpet on the floor, which was more comfortable."
The sandwiches are excellent, and I say so.
"They're certainly better than what we ate that morning. You know, the day we were talking about," Peeta says. "We were eating goat cheese and apples that morning, and we are still making them today."
"Peeta told me something that surprised me – the food they made was too expensive for them to eat," Katniss says.
"How was that?" I ask. "I thought you had a market in the Capitol."
"And we had costs in shipping the food to the Capitol," Peeta answers. "Some were legitimate and some were not. So we ate a lot of stale food. Some of it, very stale."
"That made an impression on me," Katniss says. "I had no idea that shopkeepers lived as hard a life as we did. I thought that Peeta always had enough to eat. But they were just hard, dry loaves that nobody else wanted. And I was bringing fresh meat home on a daily basis, so we had food."
"That's a pretty bizarre paradox," Meredith says. "But we had that in District 11, too. I often ate poor food. So did my family. Often."
After lunch, we return to the task.
"Well, the rain ended and a full moon came out," Katniss says, without prompting. "I didn't know if it was real or a Gamemaker projection. I hadn't realized just how long I'd been gone from home. There had been a full moon the last time I went hunting with Gale, so there was two weeks in the arena at least, and a week of preparation in the Capitol, so maybe it was real."
"It was real," Peeta says, using their gag.
"Yeah, it was real," I add, chuckling. "You were there close to a month."
"I began to think, for the first time, that I might make it home…to fame…to wealth, and my own house in the Victor's Village with my mother and Prim. Plenty of food. But what?"
"You'd lack a purpose," I say. "You wouldn't need to hunt any more."
"Not just that," Katniss answers. "I saw the life Haymitch has…drunk all the time, no family. I didn't want to end up like that. And Prim would grow up and my mother would pass away." She sobs briefly.
"There was no way I would get married and have kids in that kind of world, with their names going into the balls every year. And what was Peeta going to become when he got home? We'd just be 'good friends,'" she says, holding up her hands to illustrate the quotation marks. "And I could feel Gale's gray eyes watching me through Peeta."
"A very uncomfortable situation," I say. "I think the worst thing for you must have been knowing that your children could go into the Arena, endure the same terrors you did, and probably get killed. I think every parent in Panem has felt that."
"It was a mortal terror in District 12," Katniss says. "We all lived under the shadow of certain death."
"It can't happen any more," I remind her. "What did you do then?" I ask.
"I scooted over, shook Peeta's shoulder, and he woke up to pull me down for a long kiss, which really helped," Katniss says.
"I knew she needed it," Peeta says. "I know I did."
"We decided to go hunting, and did so on full stomachs, eating up the last of the gravy with my fingers," Katniss says. "We made rude remarks to Effie Trinket about our lack of manners. I'm sure she was watching."
"Ahh, she deserved it," Archer says. Even Meredith and I have to laugh.
"We got more serious after that. We'd been given a break by the rain and Cato fighting Thresh, but now the day was sunny and warm," Katniss says.
"You were short of food…you must have also been short of weapons," I say.
"I had seven arrows left. I gave Peeta my knife. The rest was gone," Katniss says.
They needed one of our rifles, I think. "So what did you do?"
"Well, the snares were empty, because the area was flooded, so I figured we'd head back to my hunting grounds. Peeta was still pretty weak, so it took us hours to get to my old camp with Rue," Katniss says. "Peeta was making noise from his boots, and we were worried about both scaring off the game and bringing in Cato."
"We talked about splitting up, so she could chase the game," Peeta says.
"I said that Cato might kill him," Katniss continues.
"And I laughed and said I could take him," Peeta says.
The argument went on, apparently. Katniss suggested to Peeta that he climb up and and as a lookout. Peeta suggested Katniss show him where to dig for roots.
"Finally I showed Peeta some roots to dig and taught him a simple two-note whistle that we could use to communicate to each other. He was good at it," Katniss says. "We still use it, when we're separated in the Hob or something."
"How did the hunting go," I ask.
"I soon had two rabbits and a fat squirrel. Then I headed back, and realized Peeta and I hadn't exchanged signals in a while, and I was panicked," Katniss says.
"I had just found some berries down by the stream, and I couldn't hear over the water," Peeta says.
"I was terrified. After Rue dying, I was afraid that if we couldn't communicate, we couldn't stick together against Cato or Foxface. I watched Rue die. I didn't want to go through that again."
She knew Rue for about a week, maybe two, I think. That's a short time to bond so tightly. But then I look at Meredith across from me. I remember a song, "Just one look, that's all it took, baby, just one look," it says. I flash back immediately to the moment I met her back in training, seeing her damp, sweaty, and hot from her workout, the temperature, and her hips, legs, breasts, smile, and face gazing at me. And within the hour, she had told Kae Lyn that she was going to marry me.
Yes, it's possible.
"The loss of Rue must have been traumatic for you," I remind Katniss.
"Like losing Prim," she answers.
Which happened later, I don't say. All of Panem knows about that.
"Let's go on," I say.
"Well, I needed something else to be mad about, so I saw that while the apples and rolls were still there, some of the cheese had been eaten. Naturally, I accused Peeta of eating them," Katniss says.
"Actually, she said the apples ate the cheese," Peeta says, offering a small chuckle.
Katniss rolls her eyes and wags her head at what has obviously become an inside joke for the couple.
"So I showed her the berries, and she told me what they were," Peeta says.
"My father had told me: 'Never eat these. They're nightlock. You'll be dead before they reach your stomach,'" Katniss says.
"As we all know," Meredith says.
"How did they come up with that shit?" Archer asks, sounding impulsive.
"It comes out of that fake Roman stuff the original Panem rulers created," I say. "That original empire apparently had some traditions about suicide to protect your honor or to pay for your crimes. Nightlock was created artificially – it's neater, faster, and a lot less messy than other forms of suicide."
Katniss absorbs that for a long moment, then says: "But probably very painful."
"Nobody's ever given a report on how it tastes," I say.
"We heard the cannon fire, and saw Foxface's body a few steps away. She was lying on the ground, holding the nightlock she hadn't eaten," Peeta says.
"She looked totally emaciated," Katniss adds. "Desperate for food."
"And now you were down to two enemies," I say. "Cato and Thresh."
"Just two," Katniss says, coolly. "But it felt like 30."