AN: sorry for the wait real life has interrupted my rating once again. Here is the chapter!

Chapter 8

March 21, 2006

I ran for Jacob's house knowing he could help me. It took two hours with me following the road. All the while I was internally freaking out. It was cold and started raining halfway through my run. I finally saw his house come into view feeling my legs trembling with fatigue. I went up to the porch and saw my reflection in the window. This time I looked long and hard. The face of a white wolf stared back at me. It had my eyes a mixture of blue gray that stared at me wild with fear and panic. I wanted to cry but animals didn't do that so instead I went to the closed door sat and howled my fear out. I heard a thud from inside but kept howling because it actually did feel good and helped to release some of my tension. Finally the front door opened and Jacob was there sleepy and only wearing boxers. He stopped at the sight of me and I met his eyes begging him to understand. He opened the screen door and came out cautiously. I took a few steps back and turned my head away and down because I had looked up wolf postures and what they meant just incase I encountered one of the other pack members in the forest. I looked up at him again whining a little unintentionally . I saw his expression change and he finally spoke.

"Meridian?" I nodded he crouched at my level. "What happened?" I tried to shrug but whined instead. "Are you hurt?" He started to look me over but I shook my head. "Do you how this happened I nodded but shook my head because I knew and yet I didn't. "Okay this is getting us no where, let me shift and I can see if I can talk to you like I do my pack mates." I watched as he went round the house then in a minute came back as a wolf. He was a little taller then me but we were both large about horse size maybe a big smaller.

Hi I heard it a thought that brushed against mine. I was surprised but tried to do the same feeling my way mimicking him.

Hi? Is this working?

Yes, its different but I can hear you. Now can you tell me what happened? So I did, I told him but also sent my memories of that had happened. He was angry that Edward had scared me, and that he was visiting Bella on the side.

So what now, I don't know how to change or know why I ended up like this in the first place.

We need to go see Sam he's the alpha of my pack and he may know what happened. I know he has petrol until three and it's one the last time I looked so he should be in the north east quadrant of the area we patrol. Follow me we're going to figure this out I promise. So that's what we did. I followed Jacob as he loped into the forest hoping that I could somehow change back. Because I didn't want to spend the rest of my life as a wolf. Though it was cool if I didn't think about how freaked out I was. Fifteen minutes passed as the rain fell and mud collected between my pads. I felt my anxiety rise and fall like waves in the vast ocean. Jacob reassured me when it grew to much more me and I stopped and shook for a while. That's what made it take so long. We came to the edge of the forest near Sam's house and Jacob had me wait in the forest while he got Sam. His black shape loomed out of the rain a bit later and I felt my fear spike. A growl ripped from my throat as a backed away.

Meridian calm down Sam's deep voice came to me which had me calming surprisingly. Jacob told me what happened but your not a tribe member so there is only so much I can do for you. I can talk you through the change back but that's it unless you want to join then I can try and force you back to human. I thought about that but decided no it didn't feel right to join their pack. I shook my head and Sam convoyed that he understood. Then he started walking me through it. I had to remember me, what I looked like, how being human felt. I concentrated on it hard pushing memories of feet, fingers, hair, and skin. I sat through the rain and the mud. When dawn's first light grazed the now cleared skies I finally got it. In a breath I changed and I didn't have even a scrap of cloth on me. Sam and Jacob hurriedly looked away even turning their backs on me.

"Um guys thanks but I don't have clothes on me and I can't exactly get any." Now I couldn't hear them but Sam trotted away and came back a few moments later carrying a large Indian blanket in his now changed arms.

"Jacob will take you home, you can get on his back." He was looking away and held out the blanket towards me. I took it and wrapped it around myself, Jacob came close and I used him to get up then climbed on his back leaning forward and breathing him in. I twined my hands around his neck and one I had stilled he took off like a loosed arrow. I clung to him clutching the blanket to me feeling only a little of the cold. My skin didn't feel warmer then usual but I didn't feel the chill like I usually would. Jacob was faster then me so it only took forty five minutes for us to get back to the house. It was dark and there was no sign of Edward. I could however hear two people breathing so he hadn't taken Bella with him. Jacob went to the door that led to the basement and crouched making it easier for me to get off. I wrapped myself more securely in the blanket and opened the door which I hadn't lock. If Charlie knew he would have yelled at me but right now that was far from important. I turned to Jake who was almost nose to nose with me.

"Will you come in?" I smoothed a hand down his face needing contact to keep my grounded. He nodded and followed me into the door barely fitting through the door. I wanted a shower so bad it hurt.

"I'm going to take a shower, but first I''ll bring you some sweats I'm not sure if they'll fit but its something." Jake grunted and sat waiting. I went to my bedroom and found my largest pair of sweats. I brought them out to him then left for the bathroom. I shed the blanket and turned on the water to the hottest setting I could stand. I scrubbed myself and my hair then sat on the floor letting the water fall on me.

I needed to process what had just happened. I let myself remember the last four hours and the writhing emotions that clung to me. I wasn't sure which one I felt more, fear at this new aspect of myself? Worry about what Edward and his vampire family would do to me? Anxiety about how to deal with this and what it meant for the rest of my life? It was all there and so much more. I felt like I had grown a new limb and didn't know how to deal with it. I put my head in my hands and leant forward onto my knees. I cried, to relieve the stress, to have an outlet for everything bottled up within me. I was scared and I wanted to be held, and most of all I wanted my Dad. I felt like a five year old again and wanting Dad after I had hurt myself . I know later I would be so excited about this but right now it was all too much for me to deal with.

That's when the shower turned off and I looked up to see Jacob with a huge fluffy towel in his arms. He draped me in it then picked me up like he had earlier tonight. He dried me off carful to not touch my chest, or nether regions. He helped me into a pair of pajama shorts and a loose shirt. Then he brushed out my hair and braided it, he did al of this while murmuring to me that everything was alright even if it didn't feel like it right now, and other things. He put me to bed gently and thats when I woke from the haze his ministrations had put me in. He was laying next to me brushing back little strands of hair from my face with his fingers.

"Thank you, how did you know?" He smiled softly still gently brushing his fingers through the bits of hair that wouldn't go into the braid.

"Its what my Dad did for me. He found me when I had changed and brought me to Sam then brought me home again. He didn't do exactly the same things but he took care of me like this. Its hard the first time and no one should be alone to deal with the aftermath. I'm sorry this happened to you, its not easy dealing with a whole other side of you."

"Thank you, I needed you and you were there." I turned my head and kissed the palm of his hand.

"I"m glad you came to me. I was worried for you when I left after patrolling. Can you tell me again what happened?" So I did again. He frowned and thought for a bit still playing with my hair as he did.

"That bastard totally disobeyed Charlie. I still can't believe Bella just let him come back like that." I played devil's advocate for a moment and responded.

"Well technically he didn't say anything about going through the windows." Jake snorted.

"A technicality which he obviously used." I cuddled closer to Jacob enjoying the feel of him next to me.

"I hope Charlie catches them sometime it would serve Romeo right to get caught climbing into Bella's bedroom." That got a laugh out of him which made me chuckle.

"You have a bit of a revenge streak in you." It wasn't a question but I agreed.

"Yes, I mean I would feel somewhat bad for Bella but not for Edward, he left her and I don't give second chances to boys like that." I started tracing circles on Jacobs chest enjoying the feel of his skin.

"I can agree with that. Are you feeling a little better?" He cupped my chin in his hand and tilted my head so that I was meting his liquid brown eyes.

"Yes, but do you know what would make me feel even better?" I said a small smile on my face. He quirked a brow his eyes mischievous

"No, will you tell me?" He leaned closer, if that was possible.

"A kiss from my boyfriend, if he would be willing to bestow one I would be most happy." I said my smile growing.

"Hmm should I, to kiss or not to kiss that is the question." I scoffed.

"Misappropriating shakespeare, the nerve." His chest rumbled with laughter.

"That's my word of the week not your stop misappropriating my words you." I snorted and poked his chest.

"Well it is a free country so I can do whatever I want with my words mister." He caught my hand and kissed it.

"I apologize most beautiful lady for my grievous statement. Now about that kiss." He caught me off guard as he tilted my chin up and kissed me. He nibbled on my lip then gently slid his tongue to touch mine. Heat enveloped me as I deepened the kiss sucking on his lower lip gently. He shifted and pressed me into the mattress while his hand traced tingling patterns on my collarbone. I groaned needing more skin to skin contact with him. I found his other hand and put it on my bare stomach since my shirt had slid up. He stilled and looked down at me his eyes dark with wanting me.

"Its fine. Your not pushing me, I want more." I said in a breathy voice reveling in his hot hand against my stomach.

"Okay but let me know if we go to far." I nodded and he watched me as he slid a hand up my belly towards my breasts. It seemed like an eternity until his hand touched it. He cupped the breast and ran a thumb across the nipple making me gasp in pleasure trusting my chest up involuntarily. He did it again and I writhed then he did something unexpected and bent his head to take the nipple into his mouth. I groaned throwing my head back enjoying it so much. His other hand cupped my breast and played with the nipple making me dizzy with how much I felt. His other hand slowly traveled south long my side until he found my hand. He took it and pressed hit to what I could feel was his erection. I carefully felt along his length with the sweat pants between it and me. I slipped my hand into his pants feeling bold, I slid my hand down him again making him grown. He lifted his head form my breast and caught my mouth in a fierce kiss. I rubbed my thumb over the head of his shaft making him buck into my hand which surprised me.

Jake went to my other breast with his mouth and someone was moaning, I realized it was me but didn't care. Jakes other hand was rubbing circles into my hip then it went lower hesitantly cupping my sex. I bucked my hips in silent answer wanting to know what he would do. I had self pleasured before but no one had ever touched me there. I didn't want to have sex but I did want to explore more with him. He brushed a finger through my outer folds then spread them open. His hand went to my clitoris and flicked it gently. I let out a muffled cry and squeezed his shaft which had him groaning into my mouth. I felt the beginnings of the ascent to an orgasm shudder within me.

"Please Jake, please." I thrashed back in forth needing him to either keep what he was doing or find my vibrator.

"I want to try something but your going to have to let go of me." I did curious what he was going to do. My had was slick with his precum so I knew he was close too. He shifted and bent his head over my spread legs. I gasped as he breathed over my clitoris then he burried his head between my legs and I almost came apart. I stuffed my fist into my hand as he did things with his tongue I had only heard about. I writhed bucking my hips and trying not to cry out too loudly because I was at the edge. Then I fell and the strongest orgasm I'd ever had ripped through me making me half sit up then fall back onto the bed gasping. Jake maneuvered back to my side and breathed.

"Holy shit, that, that was the most." I gasped breathing hard. It took a few minutes for me to recover but then I turned to him.

"What?"

"Your turn." I moved lower and tugged at his pants.

"No you don't have to." I tugged harder and then they ripped off him. I squeaked in surprise, he laughed a little at me.

"I want to, and anyway now you don't have any pants." I looked at his stiffened member. It was large and long but not so that it made me fearful of the eventuality of having sex. I had read about how to give head and now I put those techniques to use. I sucked him in and began to use my tongue and a little teeth to bring him close to orgasm. He fisted his hands in my hair but didn't press me closer to him. He bucked and showed every evidence of how much he enjoyed what I was doing to him. I suched and twirled my tongue on the tip of his erection. He was panting and he was tensing.

"I'm, going, to, come." I popped it out of my mouth and let the seamen splash on my chest. He gasped and breathed like he had ben running a race.

"Holy shit is right." He panted out laughing a little.

"I think I need another shower." I said laughing.

"Same, want to take one together?"

"Sure why not. I pushed the shorts all the way off since they had been pooled at my ankles. The shirt came next and I stood waiting for him to get up. He looked me over smiling and then stood.

"You look beautiful." I snorted going into the shower.

"Your just saying that." I turned on the shower making sure to not get my hair wet. He came in with me and helped to get the cum off my breasts while enjoying touching them. I washed quickly then stepped out finding another tool for him. I used the one that was tossed onto my chair. I changed again and got another pair of sweats for Jake. I was sleepy even through it was ex in the morning. I texted Charlie saying that I was feeling under the weather and I didn't want to come up. He asked if I needed anything but I said no.

"Do you want me to go so you can sleep? I texted Dad while you were in the shower earlier so he's letting me have a day off of school." I thought about it but didn't want him to leave.

"Can you stay, just to sleep?" He climbed into bed pulled the covers open and got in-between them. He patted the spot right next to me and I cuddled close to him.

"Sure." I sighed and buried my nose into his chest and dropped off to sleep like a rock. The last thing I remembered was Jake wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me in tighter. I felt safe, loved, and cherished as I had never felt before and that made my dreams light and not the nightmares I had expected. I was so grateful for Jacob and his love.