How Did We Get Here: Chapter 12
When Zoe walked into her carriage house, she was surprised to see Jonah fast asleep in her bed. She was still reeling from her night with Wade and his dad and what Wade had just confessed to her. Her heart was beating against her chest, and she didn't know up from down. She stared and her fiancé, but all she could think about were Wade's words, ' it should have been me'and 'enough'. Did he really mean it? Was he done? And if he was, wasn't that exactly what she wanted? To finally be moving on and be at peace, be happy. If so, why did it feel so awful? In typical Zoe fashion, she compartmentalized her thoughts and feelings when she saw Jonah stir awake.
Zoe?
Yeah, I'm home.
Jonah gestured for her to come and join him in the bed. She felt so tired that the invitation was a welcome one. She wanted to be held and told that everything was going to be okay.
Why are you here?
Well when you didn't text me last night to say you had landed, I got worried and called your mom. She said you stayed because of an emergency. I tried calling you...
Oh my gosh Jonah, I'm so sorry. I got so caught up
I know sweetheart, don't worry about it. I just wanted to be here when you got home so I switched shifts.
Jonah, I was with Wade
I know. Ashlyn let AB and Lavon know and they filled me in.
Are you mad?
Why would I be mad?
Well that I was with Wade all night and didn't call or text?
Zoe, you were there with Wade because Earl is your patient and he happens to be Wade's dad. I am glad that Earl trusts you and relieved that you were still here to be able to help him. He is going to be okay isn't he?
Yeah, I mean, I want to go back later today to check up on him, but he's doing much better. It was touch and go last night and I was terrified. He's such a stubborn man. I couldn't get him to go to the hospital.
But he didn't need the hospital, he needed his amazing doctor and it all worked out.
I guess
You guess?
No, I mean, yes he is on the mend, and I am happy I was here, but
But what? What's going on in that head of yours Hart?
Zoe didn't know how to answer that question. She had no clue what to do or say. She just wanted to close her eyes and pretend Wade's words had not affected her so much.
I guess I'm just tired. I think I'm going to shower and then come back to bed.
I'll be here.
Jonah was worried about Zoe's behavior, but chalked it up to fatigue and stress. Sometimes she doubted herself as this town's doctor. Always comparing herself to Brick and even the legacy of her dad. He had all the faith in the world in her. He knew how much the townspeople loved her. He had been so busy with the hospital that he had not prioritized their relationship. That had to change. He had an idea. He knocked on the bathroom door. There was no answer, but he could hear the water running and popped his head in.
Hey Hart?
Hm?
The warm water was doing wonders to relax Zoe's tense muscles and calming her nerves, she was barely able to answer her fiancé.
I have an amazing idea
What's that?
We should get married
Zoe took a step back from the cascading water and looked at Jonah
I thought we were?
No, I mean, I think we should set a date.
Oh, okay, umm. Can we discuss this when I'm out of the shower?
Of course, of course.
Well there went Zoe's relaxing shower. She stepped out and pulled her robe tightly around her and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She saw a confused and tired woman staring back at her. Why was she surprised? She had said yes to marrying this man, why wait. What was the point. Wade had just made it clear that enough was enough, so why postpone the inevitable? Zoe was determined to change the image staring back at her and walked out of her bathroom with purpose.
This spring!
Jonah looked up from the calendar on his phone. As excited as he was to marry Zoe, he didn't expect her to suggest a date so soon. He was definitely not going to argue. The faster they were married, the more at ease he would feel. He didn't want to admit to Zoe or even himself that it had bothered him that she didn't reach out to him last night. He is a doctor and he knows firsthand how time-consuming and stressful their job was, but the fact that she was with Wade all night didn't sit well with him. He didn't want to be a jealous boyfriend so he played it off, but the sting was still fresh. Zoe suggesting spring was a good thing right? He didn't want to investigate her sudden change in mood so he went with it.
Spring it is
Okay, so April, May?
Y0u choose
May 1st?
Perfect
That will give us enough time to plan a wedding, right?
I think so
I wish I were more like Lemon for these kinds of things. She'd know exactly how much time we need and what needs to be done.
Well maybe she'd be able to help us plan it?
That's a great idea! I can maybe ask her to be my bridesmaid?
I'm sure she'd love that
Really? I'm not.
Should we go join the others and let them know?
Join the others?
Lavon, AB, Brick, Lemon, and Magnolia are all having breakfast, they just texted us to join them.
What's the special occasion?
Zoe, honey, it's Christmas morning.
Jonah laughed at Zoe's expression. She had honestly forgotten about the holiday with everything that happened. She suddenly had a flashback of last year's Christmas morning with Wade.
Zoe had woken up to the sound of Wade's heartbeat. She looked up at her now boyfriend and kissed him passionately. Her thoughts went back to the night before when she put her feelings out there. It was, by far, one of the scariest things she'd ever done. She never allowed herself to be so vulnerable and when Wade sat quietly, she spiraled and started listing all the reasons why he wouldn't want her. But Wade just kissed her. He always knew how to make her feel better. It was like he was the sole owner of the Zoe Hart handbook. He had carried her inside and they had made love all night. Although she was Jewish and past holiday seasons consisted of drunk celebrities her mom was hosting or long hours studying or working, Zoe knew this could be a magical time of year. Waking up with Wade confirmed her belief.
Zoe? Yoo-hoo Zoe?
What, huh?
Where did you go just now?
Sorry sweetheart, I just totally forgot about Christmas. I was thinking I should call my mom.
Jonah wasn't sure he believed that. Zoe just had not been herself since she got home. Too scared to dig deeper, Jonah started getting ready to go spread their save the date news.
We should get going, don't you think?
Yup, I'll just get dressed and we can head out.
Wade walked back to his place. He no longer felt this incredible pressure in his chest. He hadn't realized he had been carrying it until he finally let Zoe know that he wished he was the one she was marrying and that he was no longer going to hold on. He meant it. For his own sanity, he had said what he needed to say, not as a last-ditch effort, but more as his way of saying he was letting go. What surprised him the most was her reaction. No, she didn't punch, yell, or scream. She was quiet. Zoe Hart was the love of his life, and he was able to read her like a book. In her silence and in the subtle change in her expression when he confessed his feelings, he could tell that he had sent her into a tailspin. He didn't enjoy seeing her like that, but he had to admit it was nice to see that he could still get under her skin. But knowing Zoe as well as he did, he knew she was stubborn and would never admit to being wrong or making bad decisions. Was marrying Jonah a bad decision, of course it was. He knew that and now he suspected she did too. But trying to convince her of that would only lead to more heartache. Either Zoe would come to her senses on her own and realize that Wade was her soulmate, or she would marry Jonah. Wade now decided that fate would have do the rest. At least he hoped to God that it would.
When walking through his door, Wade found Ashlyn sitting on his bed. He knew what had to be done and he felt like such a dick in that moment.
Ashlyn
It's okay Wade. I know
Know what exactly?
I knew what I was agreeing to when you asked me on a date. I knew your heart was with someone else. You never tried to hide that from me. I just stupidly thought I could be the one to help you get over her. And for a while there, I truly believed that it was happening, that you were moving on.
I was, I am, I mean
Wade, stop. Just stop. I don't need you to say anything. I don't blame you for anything. I just came here this morning to say that I think we should stop seeing each other.
I never wanted to hurt you
I know, believe me I know. I know what a great guy you are. And someday, someday she'll come to her senses and realize it too.
I'm not sure about that.
I am. She's hurt and confused..
And engaged to another man
Yeah, there is that.
I wish I could say be patient and stay, but I think that would be unfair to you.
If I thought that there was something to wait for, I would. But Wade, I honestly think you and Zoe are on a crash course heading straight for each other. I guess I just don't want to spend my life looking over my shoulder waiting for it to happen.
I don't know what to say
I guess that's it then. Goodbye Wade
And with that, Ashlyn left. Wade was numb. Just moments before walking in, he was on his way to making peace with Zoe's choices. He'd told her he had enough, that he was done fighting. Now what? He was so certain in his words and actions. He couldn't push Zoe to realize she was making the biggest mistake of her life, in fact, he'd just promised to do the opposite. But if he left it up to her, she'd get married. He was stuck and the pressure in his chest that had lifted was now back with a vengeance.