Remus wakes up several hours later to grey early morning light filtering through the window. He's listening for Harry before he's fully awake, an ingrained habit. If he focuses he can hear him breathing, gentle and soundly asleep down the hall. It's not quite five in the morning. He draws his focus closer.
He's sprawled on his back in Sirius' bed. Sirius is lying on his front beside him, face turned toward Remus. The blankets are a tangled mess - there's a sheet bunched around Remus' waist and Sirius has somehow managed to steal the entire comforter, which is fine with Remus, who has always run hotter. Sirius' heartbeat is slow and steady, peaceful, but Remus doesn't think he's soundly asleep. He keeps himself still, not wanting to disturb him.
He thinks about his first reaction to Sirius in the courtroom. He'd thought it so terrible that Sirius had gone so long without anyone offering comfort for what he'd suffered. Remus has, he knows, had much more support, he's been free and has friends, but still, there is a private, essential piece of himself he's never been able to let anyone other than Sirius see, and it feels like such a relief to be let someone in again.
Remus stares up at the ceiling and tries to take stock of himself. He feels rested, content, and a strange newness, like he's been washed clean. He can't hear the wolf in his head at all, just a sense of peace.
"Hey."
Remus blinks, pulled out of his musing. He turns his head, looking sideways at Sirius. He looks young, huddled under his blanket, face muddled with sleep.
"Sorry, did I wake you?"
"No," Sirius says quietly, voice a little rough.
"Sleep alright?"
Sirius frowns in slight thought at this question. "Hm. Yes, actually."
"Oh. Good."
"Mm." He yawns, stretching without emerging from his blanket nest. "What time is it?"
"Little after 5."
"Harry won't be up til like… 7, right?"
"Yeah."
Sirius' expression changes, he gives Remus a slightly uneasy smile.
"What?" Remus prompts.
"You did some sort of like… silencing thing last night, right?"
Remus laughs loudly. He doesn't know quite what he expected from this morning after conversation, but this is a surprise.
"Yes! When we came up. I also, oh there's that echo charm, do you remember? Set it up so if he knocked on my door, if he had a dream of something, we'd hear it."
"Oh, okay."
Remus moves, rolling onto his side so that they're facing each other. He thinks he might reach out, push Sirius' hair away from his face, but Sirius still looks thoughtful, so he waits for him to speak again.
"Does Harry know?" Sirius asks. "About… this?"
Remus sighs. "Um… sort of. I've just been describing you as a friend cause I wasn't sure about… He knows I'm gay, though."
"He does?"
"Course."
"Why? Were you seeing someone?"
Remus grins.
"What?" Sirius asks.
"No, I'm not. I just… I enjoy that you waited until now to ask that."
Sirius smirks and Remus' heart jumps accordingly.
"But to your question," Remus says, "yeah, he knows. I don't know - it comes up. We just… talk about other families, I guess. And he… Well, he can see me reacting to the news."
"Hm?"
"Oh," Remus says with a sigh, "the Ministry's not exactly gone liberal in the last few years. Lots of 'stability through traditional values' sorts of messaging..."
Sirius pulls a face.
"Yeah," Remus agrees. He smiles a little, knowing Sirius will enjoy what he says next. "Harry's well on his way to developing anti-ministry sentiments."
"Yeah?"
"Inevitable outcome of being raised by a gay, half-blood werewolf, I'm afraid."
Sirius grins. "Tragic."
"Mm."
They fall quiet again, for a moment just looking at each other. It feels almost like sustenance for Remus, looking into those grey eyes. Sirius is healthier than he was a few weeks ago, but still looks different from the man he remembers. His face is still drawn and a little pale. Grief and hardship have added lines. Remus knows the road ahead of them will have challenges, but Sirius smiles gently at him, and that's enough for right now.
Sirius' eyes move over Remus' face in return. He emerges from the blankets enough for his fingers to follow to the places his gaze has been lingering. He traces all of the lines of Remus' face like he's memorizing them.
Remus reaches out to return the attention, but Sirius is suddenly moving, shaking off his blankets and pushing Remus onto his back. He straddles him, sitting low on his waist, and leans to catch Remus' wrists. His eyes are intent and hold Remus' gaze. Remus' heart is abruptly pounding, breath quickening, but there's an old impulse, an old fear, that makes him hold back a little. Unlike last night, the room is well lit now by the sun, and he feels very visible. His arms pull in reflexively, instinctively moving to hide the worst of his scars.
He stops the motion quickly, but Sirius notices. Of course he does. Sadness flickers across his face.
"It's just me, Remus."
He's echoing back what Remus has said to him so many times. It's just me. As though this is simple. As though his presence is expected. It's the sort of thing you call out when you get home with the groceries, not a greeting for a lost soulmate. It's just me. Like this is an everyday thing, like it's not a miracle. Like Remus should have expected all along that the love of his life would come back to him. There's something so wonderful about the thought that this is normal.
Remus doesn't know how to express that, so he pulls Sirius down and kisses him. He must get some of it across, though, because Sirius' mouth on his is urgent again, his fingers trembling, his whole body seeking reassurance.
Remus makes small sounds of protest when Sirius pulls away, but shivers with pleasure as the other man starts kissing his way from the soft spot behind Remus' right ear down along his neck. Sirius has him so thoroughly pinned that he can't do much in response beside gasp and arc up against him, but based on Sirius' answering moans against his skin, that's more than enough.
They torment each other to the point of breathlessness. Remus finds himself caught between groans and giddy, startled laughter, until something in the air between them shifts again and the teasing tone fades.
Sirius kisses and presses and Remus' awareness narrows to all of the places they're touching. The wanting Remus feels is so acute it's painful. He's shivering, overwhelmed, as Sirius moves, slow and deliberate.
"Ah, love," Sirius whispers against his neck. "Fuck, Remus…"
"Sirius," he responds senselessly. "Sirius…"
"You don't know how - how much I - ah…"
Sirius' right hand is scrambling beside Remus and Remus grasps it clumsily, twisting their fingers together and holding on so tightly his knuckles go white. Sirius moves faster, breath hitching.
"Remus," Sirius gasps, "fuck."
Remus means to say don't stop but the words that escape him instead are:
"Don't leave. Don't - I - Stay, stay with me-"
Sirius responds wordlessly, pressing desperate kisses to Remus' skin and grasping his hand tighter. Remus cries out and comes, clinging to Sirius' hand. He's just barely aware of it when Sirius follows, gasping, his head bowed against Remus' shaking shoulder.
Sirius collapses on top of him, still vaguely muttering a string of curse words and Remus' name. Remus settles happily under Sirius' comforting weight. He closes his eyes, the better to follow the pleasure still pulsing through him, smiling slightly at Sirius' tangled oaths and endearments. He realizes that their fingers are still knit together only when Sirius brings their joined hands to lips and kisses Remus' knuckles.
When their breathing steadies, they disentangle themselves and then curl back together, burrowing under the blankets, too warm but unwilling to let go of each other. They end up face to face, though Sirius' eyes are closed now. Remus strokes Sirius' hair and again answers one of Sirius' questions from the night before.
What do you want?
"I meant it - Stay," Remus says quietly. "Stay here with us?"
Sirius' grey eyes open, wide and a little disbelieving, but he smiles and Remus' battered heart knits itself back together just a little bit more.
"Yes."
Fin