Long time no ... well nothing huh? lol
When you're a child you have a moment in your life that when something is out of sight you don't believe it exist anymore, psychology calls it " object permanence", the base of the game, peek-a-boo, the child no longer sees it so it doesn't exist. That is how it feels when Rachel has to pry herself away from Finn, when she is in the room it feels like he isn't there anymore. It's been 15 days and getting harder seems to be what is the normal around here. He stopped breathing, but they got him back. They found a bleed, they were able to correct it, but he hasn't woken up. So she sits.. watching as the people come in and out, day after day, hour after hour... medications being pushed and sorry eyes looking at her. The kids come and she knows it must feel like losing both parents, she knows she should pull herself out of this and go home put a smile on her face and tell them it's alright but she can't. The idea of being in the house while he's laying here is unbearable.
When she dreams she feels like she's in his head, like she sees what he sees and she knows that's not possible but she sees what it must be like for him to be stuck in dreamland when dreamland was his worse place to be. To replay the horrible things he saw and not be able to wake up, when his heartrate shoots up on the monitor her heartbeat also speeds up because with all her heart she knows that's what is happening. She starts to feel herself panic more and more and has to get up and touch him to make sure he's still with her. At night she would sing to him and watch and wait for him to open his eyes...she knows he cant hear her but she won't stop.
...
She had to go home because the youngest kids wouldn't sleep, or eat. They just laid in their bed and waited. The oldest wouldn't talk, when she walked in and she thought it better to let him be. He goes into his room and plays his game, its a violent game and she doesn't want him to but when she brings it up he simply states " dad saw a lot worse if i'm not strong enough to play a violent video game then i'm a weak son and dad should be ashamed" and slams the door in her face. He's gone though enough but at this point she doesn't even know how to parent him correctly. He needs his dad.. and as the days grow she's unsure he will have him. The girls are just happy they have mommy back so she smiles and goes through the motions, Kurt and Santana are at the hospital trading off so that she can be at home for awhile. A whole month and only the slightest of changes.
" I sing to him at night, Santana. Please do the same" she can feel the tears falling down her face. " I know it's stupid but-" Santana stops her, " I got you Rach."
She sleeps for the first time in weeks on his side wrapped in his blanket, smelling his scent and letting it consume her. What life will he have after this.. is it a life worth living? and I putting us all through this just hurting us more... she falls asleep that night wondering to herself..
"AH.." She jumps awake to the sound of her phone ringing... Santana calling...
"He's awake.."