"Who can stop grief's avalanche once it starts to roll." -Euripides
This story is very near and dear to my heart. I am hoping that you all will enjoy it. I have few chapters written already and I will publish them slowly so that neither me nor you is overwhelmed. Please let me know of your interest.
This is not a story of innocent love but this is a story about love in its most potent. Love of family above all.
This story has some strong language, and perhaps triggering content. There is mention of suicide contemplation, loss of family/loved ones, torture, possible non-con/rape. These are what I can think so far.
Please give my story a chance, and I hope you will all take as much pleasure reading this as I did writing it.
Clytemnestra sat in front of the headmaster and listened as he explained to her the nuances of her arrival into the 1970's. She had arrived on 1st of September, unconscious and her clothes had indicated that she had been through a fight. Slytherin prefect Lucius Malfoy had carried her to the infirmary while his counterpart Gilda Yaxley had alerted the appropriate authorities.
She refused to show any emotions as she sat there like a statue. Last she closed her eyes she had intended to die. The battle of Hogwarts had been lost, her friends and her family all dead. She refused to be the plaything of her old master Lord Voldemort. However, she told none of this to Dumbledore. It seemed he had more to tell her and she would not share a single drop of information until she had everything.
Dumbledore continued to explain that she showed no physical signs of damage, not even a single bruise according to the healers. He also explained that the remaining student body expected her arrival in great anticipation. Finally, opened a drawer of his desk to pull out a piece of parchment. Silently he handed it to her and observed her reaction carefully.
Inside the parchment a note was written in meticulous handwriting, it asked Clytemnestra if she believed in second chances. She concealed her emotions very carefully, but she knew her appearance in here had not been an accident at all.
Dumbledore spoke once more but this time to ask his first question. "I suppose Miss… we should start somewhere, and your name still remains a mystery."
Clytemnestra gave him her first name freely but paused before settling on a last name. She had been born to Potters, she had been raised as a Snape, but her heart had always belonged to the Malfoys. It seemed almost comical the way she changed names much like a snake changed her skin. In the end she settled for Zabini. Her future mother in law lived in France and she knew Blaise would be nothing short of ecstatic to hear her call herself by his name. "Clytemnestra Zabini" she finalised her answer.
Headmaster smiled at the girl to encourage her to speak more but he understood that she would offer him nothing for free. To gain her knowledge he had to have something she valued. "I assume you would like to continue your education here and I can arrange for that, but I need to know how you came to be here first."
Her smile cut him like a knife, and he got the sense that they knew each other in another lifetime. "I can tell you my story but that is only because I am under no illusions to think that I shall not need your help. I know you Professor and that means I refuse to be one of your child soldiers, as you will soon understand your methods have failed and I do not intend to repeat those mistakes."
Dumbledore felt his blood run cold for a moment, and he wondered what he had done to this girl to deserve such cold wrath. He took a sip of his tea to calm his nerves, then gestured for her to continue.
Clytemnestra leaned forward on her seat much like a great storyteller. "In July of 1980 I was born to Lily and James Potter along with my twin brother Harry. The prophecies of a cursed seer brought upon our ruin. Per your instructions our family went into hiding yet we were betrayed by our secret keeper, Peter Pettigrew." She felt her hand tremor ever so slightly at the mention of his name.
Like her Dumbledore moved forward in his seat, already enthralled by the tale that was being told.
She took a calming breath before she continued. "Before you, before anyone else. Severus Snape entered our house to find the corpses of my mother and father. He paid no attention to my brother by his own admission, but he thought I looked far too much like Lily for him to abandon me so recklessly. Harry became the boy who lived under the assumption that Lord Voldemort was killed. I, on the other hand had a lovely obituary in the Prophet. If Severus is to be believed you already knew what he had done and used me and my dead mother as leverage to turn him into a spy for you. I was his to keep as long as he played as your puppet."
He shivered by the disgust in her tone. Slowly he was understanding the direction of this story.
Clytemnestra did not spare him a thought as she continued. "He was a Professor at Hogwarts and he did not know how to be a father properly, so I spent most my years being raised by the Malfoys. Narcissa and Lucius always treated me as their own and it was them who had the courage to tell me my true heritage. I felt betrayed, angry, but none mattered as I knew I was loved more than I was hurt. Upon my eleventh birthday however, my feelings changed when I laid eyes on my brother. I desired to know him, and Draco even made an attempt to befriend him on my behalf but us being Slytherins and your desire to keep us apart did not help."
Dumbledore took the accusation in stride and listed carefully as she started to talk about the demise of Lord Voldemort.
Clytemnestra laughed in a bitter manner. "Dead and missing are two very different conditions are they not Professor. He tried to use a Philosophers stone to come back to life. Helpless to rescue my brother I am happy to report that he had brave friends to support him through it all. Our second year started with strange instructions we received from none other than Lord Voldemort himself. Before he went missing Lord Voldemort had given his inner circle keepsakes to hide, his Horcruxes. Lucius had been told to slip one of them into a child's hands. Through the child the chamber of secrets was opened once more, and a Basilisk was set free. By draining the life of the child, he planned to return to life, but Harry and his Ronald stopped him. Meanwhile I did my very best to help but once again there was only so much I could do. In a strange turn of events my luck changed in our third year when Harry learned about my existence. Prison escapee caused you to gather your Order and he listened in on it and confronted you in the end. I remember you covering in shame as you explained to him why you made him believe he had no family left in this world. Slowly we started to get to know each other, his friends were reluctant at first as were mine, but nothing could keep us apart anymore. Not even you. The rest of the world did not know our secret perhaps but the people who mattered the most supported us. We helped Sirius Black escape and go into hiding, unfortunately Peter had escaped also."
Dumbledore let go of his breath, unaware of how long he had been holding it. Lives of children had been played as chess by the powers of evil and by him also. He knew the lengths he was willing to but never had he imagined he would fall from grace as he had in the future.
Clytemnestra seemed almost amused as emotions, particularly shame, crossed his face. "Triwizard tournament provided as the perfect cover to kidnap Harry and use his blood to finally bring Voldemort back. No one believed him, no one but you, me, and the Slytherins whose parents had been summoned that night. You called me to your office one night, both of alone in here, and you gave me an option. I could either be a spy or you would go after whatever family I had remaining. You threatened to put Severus in Azkaban for kidnapping, Malfoys for being accomplices after the fact and aiding and abetting, and there were just the accusations you could prove. I did as asked but I knew that day I would kill you the moment I was given the opportunity."
He felt that familiar chill from before running down his spine and he did not doubt her words.
Clytemnestra smiled with venom dripping from her teeth. "During that summer I excelled under the tutelage of Lord Voldemort. I was the crown jewel of his collection of people, he admitted to me one night in secret, years after this that he saw himself in me and I was as close and dear to him as a child. The things I had to do would horrify you and if I wished to torture you some more, I could offer up the details, but I shall keep my secrets for a more special occasion. In our fifth year Sirius died at the hands of his deranged cousin Bellatrix. Harry blamed me for a while, and I think I did too. I adored Sirius you see and so did Narcissa. Family always meant everything to her. It broke her heart to hear the news. During that time Lucius was imprisoned as were some of our other family friends. Lord Voldemort understood loyalty and he already had a plan in place, but he had a small request of me and Draco first. He asked us to murder you and I was every so gleeful to do the deed myself. I remember that night so vividly but sadly it did cost me my brother as he saw us and did not knew that I was simply following your wishes to the end. Severus had told me so that you were already dying but I desired to do it myself. Do you understand the reason Professor?"
Dumbledore closed his eyes for a moment and let the information sink. This girl, this monster he had created. Of course, he understood why, and he blamed her none. He felt shame yet he could not hide his disgust. He just wasn't sure who it was directed towards, himself or her.
Seeing him struggle made her smile, the horrors of the war was still fresh in her mind. The lifeless body of her brother and the unceremonious thud it made as he fell to the ground. The screams of her friends still echoed in her mind. Her dearest lover thorn to shreds trying to save the Lavender girl. He could never understand the depths of grief she was feeling at that moment and she blamed herself plenty for it but not today nor any other day she was going to give Dumbledore a pass from his actions.
He regarded her in silence, his hand too shaky to even hold his cup of tea. He listened as she continued to tell her tale. "Seventh year I had complete control over Hogwarts, Harry was on the run and Severus took your place as the headmaster. Up until last night I played as his perfect creation, his successor but once the final battle commenced, we changed sides visibly. I broke his heart and I think that was one of the reasons why he killed Severus the way he did. He made him suffer on my behalf. The war was lost, and I went back to the dungeons to die a peaceful death before he could find me."
For the first time he picked up on her genuine emotions, the sadness that oozed from her was gone as fast as it appeared, but he knew now that she still had a heart that knew grief. "Clytemnestra Zabini, I can't offer you an apology that can remedy all that you have lost but I can offer you a place in this school and help should you need it."
Clytemnestra nodded solemnly, knowing that she would need his help eventually. "I will end this war and I shall do so with the same ruthlessness my old master had. I am not asking for permission, but I need not fight two enemies at once. I know your morality lives in various shades of grey and if you wish to fight me you may do so after Tom is dead." For the first time she referred to him by his given name.
Dumbledore understood what she was telling him, and he doubted he would need to fight her in the end but for now he would stay out of his way unless she told him otherwise. For now, that was the best strategy considering the wealth of information she had over him. "Please keep me updated on your progress and please give me a list of modules you wish to take."
Clytemnestra listed him all the advanced modules and the electives she wished to take. Then she excused herself, feeling the exhaustion in her bones. He told her that it was supper time and she allowed her legs to take the familiar route back to the dining hall for the feast.
The moment she entered the room the school fell silent. The story of the girl that fell from the ceiling had been the hottest topic of the school so far. Clytemnestra instinctively corrected her posture and put on her perfected mask. Her emotions under lock and key despite the turmoil she was in. Her eyes scanned the tables and she felt like death when her eyes found her mother's.
Lily Potter truly had the eyes of her son, and she understood why Severus had been so fond of them till his dying breath. She had lovely red hair; a mouth shaped like hers, yet she smiled kinder than Clytemnestra ever could. Next to him sat her father, they shared the same black mane and Clytemnestra thought he looked exactly like Harry. Next to them was young Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Three of them looked at her as if she was a strange curiosity. She also recognised Alice and Frank Longbottom from pictures she had seen before.
Quickly she averted her eyes and made her way to the Slytherin table. In front of her sat Severus, Lucius, and the woman she admired the most in the world; Narcissa.
Rules of engagement in Slytherin circles dictated that the first one to talk was to lose. Narcissa had told them that she had to seduce each new person, make them want to know her, want to be known by her. So, she filled her plate in silence, and dared them into making the first move.
Gilda Yaxley was a woman of beauty and grace, but she was also known for her ability to make friends out of everyone. Yaxley twins had connections all over the world because of their uncanny ability to pull people towards them, therefore it was only natural that Gilda made the first move. "I am Gilda Yaxley, I am one of the prefects that found you last night, I do hope you are feeling much better."
Clytemnestra returned the girls smile in equal friendliness, but her tone had more caution. "I am faring much better than expected though I never intended my journey to end as such. I am lucky that I found help, thank you."
Next to her sat Narcissa and she eyed the new girl with diligence. She saw parts of herself in the girl's posture, in the manner in which she smiled, and moved her body. In another world they could be twins perhaps. "Narcissa Black." She deemed her worthy of being introduced to herself.
Clytemnestra hid her emotions carefully but was overjoyed to hear her voice once more. The same voice that sang her when she was ill and told her tales at bedtime. It was filled with youth, but she was still the mother she remembered. "Pleasure."
Narcissa moved her head to the side and let the table know she was approved. In an instant she was bombarded by friendly introductions and many many questions she had no answer to. Being a Slytherin had prepared her however, so she navigated herself expertly.
Few hours later she found herself even more tired and excused herself to go to the dorms. Narcissa offered to take her to their common room and show her which bed she would sleep in. She also offered to lend her some clothes and self-care supplies until she could get her own. She took Clytemnestra by the arm and uttered the words she loved to hear. "Slytherins take care of their own."
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