TEARS OF HAPPINESS

(Wakana's P.O.V)

Fresh morning was bursting in at my window. The soft, fresh part of the day is my favorite. It's as if each morning is a new chance to start again, a clean state. Actually, I always enjoyed the early morning the best.

I took a nice hot shower, then brushed my teeth. While I was brushing, I thought maybe my mother was awake. Then, I went down stairs into the kitchen and put on my apron to begin breaktfast.

After cooking, I place them into the bento box and checked myself in the mirror, smoothing my hair, and went out into the hallway to find and greet my mother calmly.

"Good morning, okaasan." I said.

Last week, I asked her if I could go to Eijun's house to spend the night with my other friends and she said no way since I'm the only girl. Protesting her verdict would've been useless and her only concern is my safety.

"Good morning, Wakana-chan. Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm going to Eijun's house. I'll bring him food."

"Honey," she said, "there's something I need to talk you about."

"What is it, okaasan?" I asked.

"It's about Eijun-kun." she said, in a low and sad voice.

I knew what she was going to tell me. That I should confess my feelings to Eijun now. Well, Eijun was one of my (best) friends. He's my first love. Our parents were friends and we had grown up together but we didn't go to the same high school because he went to Tokyo. My family wants me to marry him someday because he's very close to my parents. In fact, we have kind of adopted each other as family and I obviously don't want to lose that.

I remembered seeing Eijun in a comatose state, I was so afraid that he would never wake up and what if I never get to see him again? Weeks passed, he was still unconscious. l'd go in and sit by him, talking and praying day after day and l didn't care if he didn't remember me, l just wanted him to open his eyes.

But sadly, Eijun lost his memory and it shattered my heart that he don't remember much about us or what his life was like before, that we'd never again have a sort of relationship like that again. But I still care for him sincerely. I loved him so much.

"Well, what about him?" I finally asked.

Mom took a deep breath, "I just want you to be really nice to him for a while."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm always nice to him. He's my friend."

"I know, and you're a good friend. But things might be hard for him for a while, and Eijun-kun will need your friendship more than ever."

"Mom, what are you talking about?"

"Maybe I'd better just tell you, Wakana-chan. I heard to your father that Eijun-kun was going to sell their house."

"W-What!? But why? I thought he—" I asked.

"He's in a tough situation, Wakana-chan. I hope you understand."

It felt like the time during a baseball game that someone pitched the ball right into my stomach. I couldn't breathe.

"But, Wakana-chan, you have to promise me you won't say anything to Eijun-kun about this. Just pretend you didn't know yet."

"Yes, mom. I promise." I said.

That was a hard promise to keep. For days, we made a special effort to hang out with Eijun and do fun things with him despite being so busy at their farm. Mostly, we did the same old things like fishing or hiking except playing baseball. Eijun didn't say anything about selling their house, so I didn't either.

One morning, I squinted at the clock of my cellphone. There was still ten minutes before the alarm went off. My gut told me it wasn't going to be a good day but I forced myself to think positively. I reached out my phone and pressed the alarm button. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went to Eijun's house again. I tapped at the door but getting no answer so I grabbed the door handle and went in. I put down the bento box in the small table and walk upstairs to check on him then I found Eijun packing up his belongings in cardboard boxes. I said hello and he just nodded and smiled and continued packing.

"I brought a food. You should eat now. We don't want you catching cold." I said.

Eijun just nodded but after few minutes, he suddenly spoke.

"Wakana?" he said.

"Y-Yes?" I said, and my heart skipped a beat.

"I have to tell you something." he said, without looking at me.

"What is it?" I asked as I walked closer to him.

"I'm going to sell this house." he said and finally looked at me.

Knowing this information for days should have prepared me to say something profound when this moment came. But it hadn't. I couldn't even figure out how to act surprised.

"Eijun, I'm so sorry." I said, pouting my lips.

"That's okay, Wakana." Eijun turned his head in the other direction, so that he faced away from me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Not really." he answered.

For a few minutes, silence floated between us. I wanted to hug his back like a little girl would often do to her father. In that moment, I realized something. I couldn't make things better for Eijun. I couldn't make Eijun's pain go away. But if I kept being Eijun's friend, even if he doesn't have romantic feelings for me, even if he doesn't need anything from me except friendship, I'm still his best friend and he can trust me. He would know that I loved him and cared about him. Maybe that would help, just a little.

"Eijun." I said.

"Yeah?" he said, without looking back at me.

"I want to say something to you," I held my breath.

"What is it?" Eijun slowly turned to look at me.

"I like you." Yes, I finally said it.

Eijun laughed, "Yeah, I like you too."

"No, I don't mean I like you," I said, wringing my hands nervously.

"You don't like me?" Eijun confused.

"Yes, I do like you, of course. Of course, I like you. When I said I liked you, I meant I liked you, but it also meant I 'liked' you. Don't you realize what I'm trying to say?" I panicked.

There was silence, I assumed Eijun was shaking his head. So I pushed on, "Eijun, you're being quite stupid. Don't you understand what I'm trying to say? I really like you, I said. I have feelings for you."

I heard Eijun gasp and heard his footsteps walking over to me.

"Y-You have feelings for me, Wakana?" Eijun awfully surprised.

"Yes, and I have had for ages. Now you need to tell me if you have feelings for me. If you don't, that's fine. We can be friends and keep sharing Pirate. That's fine. I mean it, EIjun. I don't want anything to get awkward between us and things won't get awkward between us if you don't have feelings for me." I held my breath, hoping dearly that Eijun would tell me he had feelings for me.

"Is this a joke, Wakana?" Eijun asked me.

I sighed long and hard, "Hey, it is not a joke. I've had feelings for you for a long time."

"I never knew that." Eijun said as he went and looked into the window of his room.

"Well, you do now." My voice held more than a hint of annoyance, "Just tell me whether you have feelings for me or not."

My heart bounded, my pulse beat fast, my blood ran like a mighty stream through my veins. I was nervous and I was really conscious of how nervous I was that time. I could feel it in my stomach. Eijun turned his head to face me and smiled. He then walked slowly towards me. I didn't know what to say and I just stood there. He just stood there, too, saying nothing.

Then, he gave my arm a squeeze and said, "Thank you, Wakana but... you should not love me. I'm not worth your love."

Tears came rushing to my eyes. It's hurt. I wanted the hurt to stop, so I could adjust my feelings and stop crying after hearing my first love's words.

"Grandpa said love can happen when you least expect it." he said and slowly hugging me, "The right man for you could literally be right around Japan. You're a good friend to me, Wakana."

Slowly he began to rock me and patted my back, and my tears and stopped completely. We both stood there. Eijun just hugged me like there was no tomorrow. Actually, I think I couldn't handle the rejection. I know he pitied me but very sweet it is to know he still Eijun that I knew.

After a while Eijun noticed a burning smell so he asked me, "Wakana, you smell something burning?"

Eijun and I let go of the hug to smell the air.

"Yeah, a little. What is it?" I asked.

"I don't know," Eijun answered. "I don't see any smoke here. I think it's coming from outside the house and it smells like a burning leaves. . . I don't know what. Something else."

We both went downstairs and check outside for smoke. Then, the next thing we knew that Eijun's grandfather's farm is on fire. We all know after the tragic accident, Eijun was so in debt that some money lender tried burning the farm so Eijun could collect the money from agricultural insurance and pay the debts. Eijun was devastated because they attempt to burn their farm, all of Eijun's hard work were burned up and all gone. His grandfather's farm he held dear was destroyed.

Days after the fire, Eijun rarely talking to anyone of us and was always busy in the farm. He fell into an extremely depressed state. He lost interest in everything like we used to do every weekends and sometimes he wouldn't even leave the house but we still visiting him and bring some foods and drinks or anything for him.

Meanwhile, after the rejection, I thought to myself that I needed to get over it. That was hard and also embarrassing for a girl. It took weeks to actually sink in especially it's not my fault that Eijun doesn't feel a certain way about me and I can't control his feelings in the end.

"It only means, it wasn't meant to be." my mom said, "Eijun-kun wasn't supposed to be your someone".

That's actually my least favorite sentence and well, I wanted Eijun to be my someone. But no matter how much I want to dig myself into the hole, I need to keep my mind from getting buried in it. I need to remind myself that that Eijun is not mine. I can get through the heartbreak. and I just didn't give a damn, no matter what happened, I still cared about Eijun, even when I was the one getting hurt.

One night, my mom finally allowed me to join camping in Eijun's family backyard with the other boys. While we're busy building tents, Eijun had made a barbecue and insisted in trying to cook the food without our help and it ad all been burnt. After that, we were having fun roasting marshmallows and talking about something funny when Eijun suddenly stopped talking and his two eyes stared blankly at the night sky.

"What's wrong, Ei-chan?" Nobu asked.

"Nothing." Eijun smiled.

"Don't lie to us, Eijun. We know there's something bothering you and you're pale as a ghost." I said to him which makes everyone agree.

Then Eijun was looking down trying to avoid our gaze. Slowly he lifted his eyes till they met ours.

"I literally get scared to sleep because I have these stressful nightmares and wake up in a panic." Eijun said.

"Really, what are your nightmares about?" Nobu asked.

He told us he's having nightmares about their farm burning and next their house too that he would dream about being in his lonely bed, and all of their family pictures on the wall were melting. It's no wonder he had terrible dreams, with all of the tragedies he had been through so far and he developed massive eye bags which getting worse and worse each day.

"I feel really negative but you guys were always so you made my day completely turn around sometimes." Eijun smiled at us like he always did.

"We really love your smile, Ei-chan." Nobu and the other boys smiled back.

"Not everyone like this smile." Eijun chuckled.

"What's wrong? Come on, have fun. You're always all alone these days, Ei-chan." Nobu joked.

"I'm shocked that you would notice." Eijun smirked.

Unfortunately, Eijun never collected a lot of money from the farm burning because the farm didn't burn completely. After a while, my family, our friends and old folks helped and repaired the farm like brand-new. But in Eijun's eyes, the farm would never be the same as before. Eijun lost a lot of respect for those money lender after that. He couldn't believe they were so desperate for money. Since Eijun didn't get much money from the farm, those bastards were still mean to him because they wanted cash. They would sometimes come to Eijun's house and cursing because he didn't have any money for them. After the fire, Eijun became more and more independent and not relying as much on anyone.

Then one day, when I went to Eijun's house, there are two people inside. Both of them are wearing eyeglasses. They introduced themselves as husband and wife when I arrived, Kataoka Rei and Kataoka Tesshin. Yeah, Rei-san, she texted me sometimes and asking about Eijun. I also told her about Eijun's troubles. However, I was first shocked and confused, that what are they doing there?

"Sawamura-kun does not really like to come with us, but later he said he's curious and wanted to meet his old friends from Tokyo. He needed to regain his memory and so he had to stay with us until that happened." Rei-san told me.

"Sounds great." I said as I bit the side of my lip.

I was suddenly feeling depressed that I did not find Eijun inside and wondered where he was at that moment. Maybe he's in his room, packing his things to go Tokyo. When I actually heard that I felt happy and sad at the same time because I will not be able to see him for a few weeks or months probably.

"But... how about the house and the farm?" I asked.

"We actually bought this house so Eijun can pay the remaining debts of his family. Don't worry, we don't have a plan to take this house from him. We just wanted to help." Rei-san answered with a soft smile.

"You were so kind, thank you. Thank you for helping Eijun." I said as my eyes suddenly filled with tears, a happy and thankful tears.

Rei-san held her arms open as I dove in to hug her. She rubbed my back then wiped away my happy tears and handed me a tissue. I asked them to please take care of Eijun for us because he has no one to take care of him now, even though I knew they would take care of him.

"Yes, Wakana-chan. We promise we will take good care of him." Rei-san smiled.

Note: I can't help but wonder especially in Wakana's confession scene. I'm sure most of us here (readers) in AOD fanfic always read about Wakana was always rejected by Eijun lolol but it doesn't mean that I hate her, not actually. I like her but I like Haruno more because I find her pretty and charming. It's just, why Wakana always rejected in fanfic. I heard that Terajima-sensei really ship Wakana and Eijun in reality. I don't know if it's true or not, just heard this fact a long time ago in facebook. Well, it's just a fanfic haha. Lol, I'm confusing you guys and I'm talking nonsense... just don't mind me haha. Thanks for reading.