tw for blood and character death
Nov 1801
Eliza walked up the grand staircase. She looked back behind her. The darkness of night filled the room downstairs. The candle in her hand was the only light. A candle was lit in the window for Philip when he came in.
She checked on the children, giving them a kiss goodnight before knocking on Alexander's office door.
"My love. It's late. Come to bed", Eliza wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He leant into her.
"I'm almost finished. Wait up for me?" He suggested. Eliza nodded, standing up straight.
"Okay but don't be too long or I will fall asleep", she warned him.
Adalyia helped Eliza out of her dress.
"Thank you. Goodnight", she smiled at her as she got into bed. Eliza lit the candle by her bedside. She sat up, reading the book by her bedside.
"They don't exactly teach it in boarding school", Eliza woke up to the boy's laughter. She assumed it was Alexander or Philip. Eliza smiled, relieved that Philip was home safe.
"Just drop it Philip. It's not a good idea". She heard muffled voices before hearing a door shut.
Eliza yawned. It had been nearly an hour since Alexander said he would come to bed.
…
"Who came to see you last night?" Eliza asked Alexander over breakfast. Philip coughed on his food.
"It was just Philip coming in. He had a little too much to drink was all", Alexander reassured her. She had no reason to question him. Looking back on it she wished she did. Philip helped her wash the dishes.
"I love you mom", he smiled before heading into town. She couldn't be more proud of her eldest son. He had graduated from Columbia college last year and was studying law now. Alexander had him on a vigorous study timetable. He was top in his class because of it.
"Have a good day. Get lots of study done", she encouraged him. He nodded.
Eliza laughed when Alexander hugged her from behind. She loved her husband so much, feeling so grateful that she was able to marry for love. They struggle financially but having the bond that they share is worth it. The past few years haven't been easy, especially with the affair but Alexander was proving his love to her each day.
"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hugging you. I missed you so much. I'm sorry the case took so long", Alexander told her.
"I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing you", Eliza bit her lip as she turned in his arms. "As my lady wishes". He cupped her cheek with one hand before kissing her.
"I love you", Eliza whispered when they broke the kiss.
"Mommy?" Eliza Holly called her. Eliza leant her head against Alexander's chest. She didn't want him to leave and spent the day in his office. She barely saw him.
"Yes sweetheart?"
"Milk", the almost two year old pointed to Eliza. Alexander laughed.
"I'm sorry", he apologised but kept laughing. Eliza frowned at him. She bent down to be on their daughter's level.
"Mommy's milk is for babies, sweetheart. You're not a baby", she got her daughter a drink of water. Eliza rubbed her chest.
"Can you mind the children today? I need to speak with a midwife in the village", Eliza asked him. He hesitated before nodding.
"Adalyia and Angelica will be here", she reminded him. He visibly relaxed. As if she would leave him alone with 2 children. She wouldn't exactly call Philip and Angelica children. Alex, James and John were in boarding school. William and Eliza Holly were the only ones home.
Eliza rubbed her chest before she put on her stays.
"Eliza", Alexander moaned, knowing full well she was getting dressed and didn't intend to arouse him.
She laughed slightly.
"I'll see you later", Eliza kissed him before putting on her bonnet.
A carriage brought her to the midwife's house.
"Come in come in, my dear", Mrs Knox invited her in. She had helped with many births and pregnancies.
"Tell me, my dear. How are your children?" Mrs Knox asked her.
"They're bright and in great health. My oldest is studying law just like his father. My youngest is nearly 2. That's why I'm here. My chest has been hurting since I stopped breastfeeding", Eliza explained.
"Ah, can you open your stays?" Mrs Knox asked. She helped Eliza loosen it at the back. She shows Eliza how to massage the milk out. Eliza felt relief immediately.
"Just because you stop feeding doesn't mean that you stop producing milk. If it starts to hurt, you can massage it out. It shouldn't last much longer. Your supply should dry up soon", Mrs Knox explained to her as she helped Eliza tighten the stays again.
Mrs Knox gave Eliza a cup of coffee.
"I never had this trouble with my other children", she shrugged.
"Is there anything else you're concerned with?" Mrs Knox asked her. Eliza nodded.
"I missed my last 2 periods. I think I might be pregnant", she told her. Mrs Knox smiled.
"Ah, that would be delightful. You know what we always say though wait until you have missed 3 periods to be sure", she recommended.
Eliza hung up her coat when she got home. She looked into the drawing room. No one noticed her yet. Alexander was sitting at the desk in the room, doing his work. Eliza Holly and Angelica were playing with dolls. Angelica was sowing a dress for one of the dolls. She couldn't help but smile at her family.
"Mommy!" William screeched and ran to hug her. She picked him up and sat on the couch giving him a cuddle. Alexander turned around.
"Everything okay?" His eyes looked down to her stomach. She nodded, smiling.
"Just woman issues", she dismissed his comments. He looked visibly uncomfortable, nodding.
"Right then".
Eliza sat William up.
"Shall we play outside?" She asked him. He frowned.
"It's raining?" He pointed to the window. Eliza smirked.
"Wait here", she put him down in the seat and went to find wellies for him and herself. She was using the boys' old ones.
Alexander grinned, watching her put wellies on William.
"We can't let a little rain stop us from having fun", Eliza took William outside. Eliza Holly and Angelica watched them from the window. William jumped in a big muddy puddle. He covered his mouth, hiding his laughter.
"Sorry momma", he pointed to her dress. Eliza looked down at the splash marks. It's an old dress anyways. She shrugged.
"I wouldn't be out here if I didn't think I was going to get dirty", she reminded him. Eliza kicked his ball over to him. William grinned.
"Watch this", he took a few steps back before giving the ball a big kick. Eliza inhaled sharply watching the ball land in a tree. Eliza threw a stick up trying to nudge the ball
Philip shook his head laughing as he rode up on his horse.
"What are you doing?" He asked before getting down.
"The ball is stuck, Pip", William ran over to him, taking his hand and bringing Philip to the tree. Philip looked up.
"Who got it stuck?" He asked. William put up his hand.
"Me".
"I'll climb up", he grabbed onto a branch close to his head and pulled himself up.
"Be careful", Eliza reminded him. He nodded. William chased the ball when Philip threw it down.
"Thank you", Eliza watched him get down.
"I'm going to take a bath. I got soaked", Philip told her.
"Adalyia will run you one", Eliza kissed his cheek. He smiled, looking down at the ground.
"I love you, mom".
William shivered.
"Come on, you're going inside too", Eliza brought him in and wrapped him in a towel. She changed into a different dress too. Alexander met them in their room. He cuddled William into his side.
"Eliza, do you really think it was responsible to bring him out into the rain?" Alexander asked her, she could hear the frustration in his voice. Eliza smiled, ignoring him.
"William, did you have fun?" She asked him. He nodded, grinning.
"No it wasn't but what kind of a life would it be if we all followed the rules all the time. Sometimes making memories is more important, Alex", she answered honestly. He sighed, knowing he loved how spontaneous she could be but wanted his children to be safe.
"I just don't want William or you getting sick is all", he responded. She nodded, getting William dressed into nightwear. She wrapped a fur blanket around herself as she laid on the bed.
"Lie down", she told him. Alexander laid down with William in between them, Alexander pulled the boy closer to him. Eliza took his hand, lying her cheek on it.
"He's asleep", she whispered. Alexander smiled at her.
"Your eyes are so pretty", Eliza commented. She couldn't stop looking into them. Alexander chuckled. She took his other hand, placing it on her stomach.
His eyes lit up.
"I might be", she bit her lip.
"Smooch over here so I can kiss you", he couldn't move with William sleeping against him. Eliza nudged herself closer. Alexander ran his fingers through his hair and kissed her.
"I love you so much", he whispered to her.
"It's not certain. Don't go telling people right away. Especially Angelica", she warned him. Eliza stretched before sitting up.
"I'm going to start dinner", she told him.
"What am I supposed to do?" Alexander asked her. Eliza laughed.
"Stay there. Lord knows you need the rest. What did you sleep for 2, maybe 3, hours last night?" She put the blanket around him. He sighed, closing his eyes. He accepted his fate.
"Where's Papa?" Philip scratched his neck, looking at the clock on the wall.
"He's asleep upstairs. Carve this", Eliza handed him a rabbit.
"It's Eliza Holly's birthday tomorrow. How old will you be?" Eliza told the children. Philip nodded. He placed the carved rabbit on the table.
"This many!" Eliza Holly held up fingers. Angelica helped her, putting down one finger.
"This many!"
Eliza smiled at her.
Philip sat at the top of the table, taking Alexander's place. He did that whenever Alexander was away. Eliza smiled at him, her boy was turning into a man.
Angelica helped Eliza to serve dinner to everyone.
"Thank you mom. I'm going to retire to bed. I've to be up early in the morning", he hurried out of the room. Eliza put a plate of food together for William and Alexander.
"What are we doing for the night?" James asked her. Eliza hummed.
"We could do a puzzle?" She suggested. John shook his head.
"Can you finish reading the story that Papa was reading to us?" James asked. She smiled at them.
"Papa would be upset then. He wanted to read it with you", she told them. "How about a different story. Maybe one from the bible?"
James nodded.
"One of the parables?"
Eliza sat on the couch with Eliza Holly cuddling into her. John, Alex and James were sitting on blankets on the rug. Alex ran his fingers through the fur on the rug. Angelica handed her the bible before sitting on the armchair. She quickly looked through it.
"This is called the Good Samaritan. A man was walking down the streets of Jerusalem to Jericho. A group of robbers stopped him. They beat him. They stripped him. And they left him to die on the streets. Now a priest was going the same way. The priest saw the man and he crossed the street. He wanted nothing to do with the man. Then a Jew was walking down the street. He also crossed the street to avoid the man. Finally a samaritan was travelling along the same street. He went straight to the man. He bound up his wounds, poured oil and fed him wine. The Samaritan put the man on his horse. He brought him to an inn, nursed him back to health. The Samaritan couldn't stay. He had to keep travelling. Should he leave him? Should he take him with him?" Eliza asked them.
"Take him", James suggested. Eliza smiled at him.
"The man is too ill to travel. Instead the Samaritan asks the innkeeper to care for him and pays him to do so. Now which of the three men what's a neighbour to the man", she asked them.
"The Samaritan", John answered. James nodded in agreement.
"What if the priest or the Jew was late or in a rush?" Alex asked.
"Nothing is more precious than life itself. No school, no appointments, no job. In the grand scheme of things a few minutes can save a person's life", she explained to them. Alex nodded.
Eliza left them to wind down before bed. Alexander and William were eating dinner together in the kitchen.
"He's not going to sleep tonight", Eliza groaned as she realised.
"I'll stay up with them if he can't sleep", Alexander reassured her.
"Thank you", she sat down with them. She poured out coffee for herself and Alexander.
"I don't think I'd be alive without this stuff", he joked. William took Eliza's cup and sipped it. His face turned into a look of disgust.
"Yuk".
Eliza yawned.
"I'm going to put the kids to bed", she forced herself up. She got the children to bed before getting ready for bed herself.
Alexander grabbed his housecoat.
"I've got more work to get done", he kissed her cheek. Eliza pouted, grabbing his hand.
"Give me a real kiss", she smiled at him. She could smell the rosy scent of the wine he had been drinking. Her heart beat faster and faster when his eyes wouldn't leave her. She felt the desire radiating from him. Alexander held her head as he kissed her.
"I've got work to do", he broke the kiss. Eliza moaned. Why did he have to be so dedicated?
"Don't stay up too long and watch William like you promised", she got into bed.
…
Eliza rolled over in the bed, it felt cold and empty. She could hear frantic knocking on the door. She looked over at Alexander's side of the bed. She remembered him coming to bed last night. She put on her housecoat before answering it.
"Yes? Who are you and why are you here this early?" She asked the man at the door.
"I work for Mr Church. There's been an accident. You're son. Come at once", he had a carriage waiting for her. Eliza frowned. Should she trust him?
"How do I know you are being honest with me and you're not going to assault me as soon as I get in the carriage?" Eliza asked him. He nodded.
"Yes yes. Here. Mrs Church wrote it", he handed her a letter from Angelica.
"Philip had been in a duel and was hurt", she read it out loud.
"Give me one moment", she went upstairs.
The house was silent. It's never normally this quiet. She could hear her heart beating in her chest. That sick feeling I'm her stomach wouldn't go away. Eliza stopped at Philip's room. She froze at the door frame. Would he ever see his room again? She missed those sleepless nights of waiting for Alexander to come home from the war. She used to worry about whether he would live to see his son. Eliza inhaled a deep breath as she pulled the door closed.
She felt uneasy walking through her own house. It wouldn't feel the same without all of her family home.
After getting dressed, Eliza met the servant downstairs. The world was asleep at this hour. OIl street lamps lit up the snow falling from the sky. Some of the best and worst things happened to them in the snow.
Why would Philip participate in a duel? Who would be so stupid to think it was a good way to deal with arguments? Men.
She wiped her eyes. What if she didn't make it in time? No.
"He's going to live", she whispered to herself.
"Where is Alexander?" She asked the driver.
"Your husband is at the house ma'am. He looked awfully pale when I left", the driver informed her. It did nothing but add to her nerves. Eliza shivered as Angelica met her outside.
"Angelica, what happened? Please tell me Pip is okay" Eliza asked immediately.
"Philip was in a duel defending the Hamilton name. He got shot in the stomach. The doctor has already seen him. Alexander is up there with him. I'll bring you up. Give me your coat", Angelica stopped at the stairway. Eliza shook her head.
"I'm not dressed", she told her nonchalantly. She took the coat off in the bedroom.
Philip was lying so still in the bed, his left arm hung from the side of the bed. It had a limp, lifeless look to it. There was so much red. There was a nutty smell in the room, she could taste the blood in the air. If it wasn't November, Eliza would say open a window.
His skin was ashy and pale. The smell of blood filled the room. Eliza grasped the bed frame for support. Alexander was laying on the bed with Philip in his arms. He had tears going down his cheeks. He was nearly as pale as Pip. The blood soaked half way up Alexander's white shirt.
"Is he breathing? Is he going to survive this?", she knelt down beside the bed, holding his hands. "Who did this? Alexander, did you know?"
Philip smiled at her. That was the first time she had seen him move since she came into the room.
"Mom. I'm so sorry for forgetting what you taught me", he apologised to her. His face scrunched up in pain.
"Don't move too much, my son. It's okay", she blinked back tears. Alexander was shaking so much. His skin was clammy.
"We played piano", he smiled through the pain. Eliza took a bandage from the doctor, holding it down on his stomach to stop the bleeding. Why won't it stop? Why can't the doctors do more than let him bleed out?
"I taught you piano", she remembered the time he played for Alexander the first time. He was so proud, they both were. Philip had spent all day practicing that one piece and his rhyme.
"You'd put your hands on mine", Philip held her hand. Eliza laughed.
"You changed the melody every time", she remembered him. It had been annoying at the time. Oh what she would give to be back there. To have that ignorant bliss about the future. She wanted to forget this night, forget his pain. Something told her she never would though.
Alexander placed her hand over Eliza's hand. She pulled away from him. Eliza kissed Philip's forehead before stepping outside the room.
Tears streamed down her cheeks when Angelica caught her trying to go downstairs.
"I can't do it. I can't stay in that room with him", she shook her head. Alexander knew what Philip was going to do.
"Eliza you need to calm down", Angelica stroked her hair. Eliza pushed away. She fell to the ground, her back to the wall.
"No. No. I can't. Make it stop. Help him. I can't do anything in there with him. I can't watch him bleed out", Eliza cried. She struggled to take a breath.
"Please make it stop", she cried as Alexander wrapped his arms around her. He sat on the ground with her in his arms.
"No. No. No", she mumbled through the tears. She couldn't lose her baby, her oldest son.
"Mom?" Philip called her. Eliza wiped her cheeks. She got a piercing pain in her stomach.
"Ah", Eliza stood up with Alexander's help. She shook her head.
"I can't do it", she whispered.
"Yes you can, Eliza. You are so strong and brave. Pip needs you", Alexander held her face. He kissed her nose. Eliza inhaled a deep breath before sitting on the bed with Philip in her arms.
Philip was in and out of sleep. Alexander knelt beside the bed. He held Philip's hand. Neither of them could sleep.
"Son. Philip. Philip?" Alexander shook his hand. Eliza shook her head.
"Please don't leave, Philip".
"Philip, wake up", she cried. Eliza carefully laid him down.
"He's gone", Alexander stated. He looked like he might faint, he was so pale.
Eliza got up from the bed. Her legs felt weak after lying down for hours, waiting for him to die.
Alexander watched her leave. Torn between going after her and staying with Philip's body. He didn't want people to see his tears.
Eliza stepped out into Angelica's back garden. She looked crazy. Messy hair, crying and wearing a dress covered in blood. Eliza shook, realising Philip's blood was all over her. Her hands were stained red. She shivered from the cold night air.
John stepped outside.
"I'm sorry. I'll send Angelica out to you", he covered his eyes. Eliza felt the pain in her stomach again.
Thanks for reading x